“Get well soon, please don’t go any higher How are you so burnt when you’re barely on fire?”
They say you’ve got to hit rock bottom in order to be a better person. What if you weren’t shit to start with? What if you thought you were okay, but fucks spat down judgment on you..leading you to believe you are actually a really shit person? What do you do? What about when you hide everything in order to keep a sense of normality, so you don’t fully lose it? What if you cannot get the words out, and all you can do is tell anyone who shows a hint of caring that you’re totally okay. What happens when they place you are currently “living” in has killed all the good in you? What if…what if…Fucks sake. It’s all so bloody stupid isn’t it. When you think about it, you’re just some stupid fool with no direction. Because all the directions you took have led you nowhere. Nowhere can be your bedroom at 4am hating your own skin. Nowhere can be sat on a bench waiting for something slightly interesting to happen. Nowhere can be in the eyes of the one you love. Nowhere and nothing go hand in hand. There’s a song for everything, for everyone. Those thoughts you have; well, someone else had the same ones and probably wrote a song about it all. You’ll return to your “normal” self eventually, you just have to work out what that is. I should take my own advice. But my own advice is for anyone and everyone but me. I have no problem writing like this because I know nobody will read it. Once it leaves my brain and ends up on the screen, it is no longer mine. Nothing is mine, no one is mine. I own nothing. Even my Docs are coming apart. My favourite band shirt has a hole in it. As you sink further and further, what song will you play as you fall? What song will pull you back up? I’ll never read this again, which is why none of this will make sense. I rarely re-read what I write here. Mainly because I know it doesn’t make sense. I don’t like organisation. I don’t like things making sense. I don’t like knowing some things. Uncertainty for me, is a good thing. Self-doubt for me, is a good thing.
But every fucking word I’ve written, every word I have ever said has been said by someone else. And they did it better. I can only say I’m sorry, but I’ll keep doing it. And for that, I am also sorry.
One day I am going to drink whiskey with Royal Chant and quote NWA lyrics to them. We’ll also drink tea and discuss which member from NWA had the better solo career (Ice Cube right lads?) They’re the best thing to come from Australia since..that Natalie one from Neighbours. No wait…Silverchair. I’m going with Silverchair because they mean more to me. I know I’m a sucker for a beautiful woman, but I’m putting music first (as usual.)
FINALLY they’re putting an EP out. I’m impatient when it comes to bands I love. The EP starts with Irish Eyes, but you’d know that if you were to listen to the EP. You should listen to it. For every listen to this EP, each band member will donate a bottle of whiskey and fine tea to err..me? No? Oh, well pretend. Just listen.
What I love about Royal Chant is how they make you feel as if you are watching them (not in a creepy way, but sure go ahead if you want) play in some dirty, damp basement. You feel as if you are watching them rehearse. They are three amazing guys who play with all they have. So much honesty and frustration.
Killing Time feels like every nagging thought I have floating around my head, so I’m going to call this one as my favourite- for personal reasons. I mean this is just another prime example as to why I love these guys. They say the things you can’t. Well, you can say them; it’s just the words don’t flow as gently and come out as loudly as theirs. Everything’s a drag. But sometimes a band just drag you through. Some things you maybe, just aren’t meant to understand.
Maybe my love for these guys is clouding my judgement but I’m not going to write about something I don’t love. This is a truly fucking brilliant EP that is a smack in the face in the most pleasurable way.
They say you’ve got to hit rock bottom before something good can come out of it. I don’t care if I hit rock bottom so long as I’ve got music like this comforting my ears at 4am when everyone else is asleep. It’s alright to fall apart. The pieces that are missing are the pieces that you never needed. Music can save you, music can be everything you need in the midst of desperation. Too vulnerable.
Hesitation Kills isn’t just the name of one of their songs; it is also very true. So very fucking true.
You can tell I love Mark, James and Matt right? I mean so long as you can tell I love them and that I regard this EP as being one of the best this year, then that’s all you need to know.
Go listen, and go feel less alone. Don’t look at your reflection; that’s how problems start.
Sundays are dull. Sundays are toss. Sundays are a drag. Aren’t most days like this? Hitting your head on the table as you fall out of bed is probably the most exciting thing that’ll happen to you. Pray for concussion. Pray for something to happen. Forever in lust, only once in love.
San Diego. It won’t answer to you. You answer to IT. It produces and churns out bands that are meant to rip off your face and burst your eardrums. If you are looking for something loving and tender; seek elsewhere. This band will take you to the depths of hell and laugh at you, if you don’t believe in them. Short songs that get to the point and smash you between the eyes. Open yourself up fast. Slowly isn’t enough. You want it now, tomorrow is too late.
Plateaus are incredible. Mind-blowing and brutal. This is perfect, and nothing really matters. San Diego better be fucking proud.
Plateaus are Kevin Gist, Chris Rosi, Jon Greene and Elliot Moeller. These guys are responsible for being part of one of the most exciting bands around. I can’t think of another band right now that are making this kind of music. Noisy, thrashy and enough to make you want to smash shit up. Go for it. Go break some stuff. Launch yourself. Throw yourself around. Flail. Just have a good time.
I want to see these guys play some dark and sweaty basement. Enter looking presentable, leave covered in whiskey and looking like you’ve run about ten marathons. With a few bruises and bloody arms to show how good the night truly was.
I love these guys so much, they make me want to pack my stuff up and leave where I am. But if I did that; I’d be homeless. Basically, they fuel the frustration and keep the dream alive. One of the best bands around, trust me.
“Your face has left an impression, deep inside my cranium. When those thoughts are realised it’s here I find, that your face is in my mind.”
I probably enjoy music that makes me feel like I’m on some weird trip because I’ve never had an interest in drugs. I don’t care if you do them, I really don’t. Do what you want. I don’t care, nor do I expect you to care about what I do. It’s nothing. Everything is disposable. Everything is nothing you want now. You wanted far too quickly and when you got it, you didn’t know what to do it. People love it when you’re miserable because they can really go at you. Show them nothing, stop giving. It’s not fair on yourself. To hell what everyone else thinks. If you’ve got someone who constantly brings up the past and your mistakes just cut them out of your life. I think that’s one of the worst traits a person can have, especially when this person claims to care about you. Maybe nobody really cares for others; it’s all an act to stop being alone. I’d rather be alone than surround myself with those who put on a show. Anyway, there’s a band that came out some time ago who make you feel like you’re off your face and they also surround you with a psychedelic mood. Just enough to forget the world and make your own.
The Orange Alabaster Mushroom, well, the name alone pretty much gives you the notion that they’ll make insane music. It’s a pretty cool name right? At least it isn’t something mundane like….well, you can think of one.
I don’t know much about them, but I think they are from Ontario? It’s one guy called Greg Watson and started in the early 90s. So, if you thought all the 90s were about was really awful Euro-Pop music then err…you’re probably right to be honest. I don’t know if much good came from the 90s. Depends what you are into. I developed a lasting love for Aaliyah and Garbage amongst others. If you sat down and listened to The Orange Alabaster Mushroom I’d expect you to think you were listening to something from the 60s/70s. When I first listened to them, that’s what I got from them.
I don’t know anything about The Orange Alabaster Mushroom aside from that I love them. That’s all I know. I love that they make me feel like I’m having some kind of outer-body experience. Everything that is dragging me down right now means fuck all. How can it with music like this? The Orange Alabaster Mushroom are like the drug a doctor gives you to make you feel better. Let their fusion of Garage Rock and Psychedelia thump about in your eardrums and arouse your mind. Let the music just blow your mind.
Your Face Is In My Mind is possibly my favourite. The lyrics pretty much say all I’m too much of a coward to say, but at least I can feel it. Least I know my faults you know? I just love the weird sounds that travel through me. You notice all the different layers as you listen intensely to the songs. The only way to listen, is through headphones. It is all tenderly euphoric but quite intense. The best things in life are like this, it’s just not many things in life are actually like that. Don’t settle for less. Don’t settle.
The mind is a terrible thing to not use, to not open up. That’s why bands like The Orange Alabaster Mushroom exist. So they can open up your mind and take you some place. The organ and bass in their music is what truly gets me. I’m in love with every song. They leave an imprint on your soul that you will probably compare to everything else possible. I guess you can apply that to anything in life. It’s just, with music it is a lot more pleasurable.
The first ever article I wrote that was published in magazine was about Music and Gender (you can read it here : http://issuu.com/freeqmagazine/docs/freeq-magazine-pilot-issue) and I still stand by it being one of the best articles I have written. This article caused a band from Nottingham to get in touch with the editor and ask if I would write a feature about them. Considering this was my first ever published piece, I was honoured and in shock. The fact that a band got what I was trying to do meant so much to me.
The Smears are three fearless and fucking incredible musicians from Nottingham. My feature on them can be found here: http://issuu.com/freeqmagazine/docs/freeq-magazine-goat-issue-2 Everything I wrote there is still relevant. Still true. I will always regard them as being one of the VERY FEW bands that keep up a Punk feel to their music, and of a course a brutal kick of Riot Grrrl to their music too. Everything about them is aggressive, pure, passionate and real. A lot of musicians put on an act just to sell records. Honesty and heart are worth more than a fucking platinum plaque.
For me, I always believe that regardless of the genre; music should come from a place that the listener is afraid to go, and the band/singer guides them. They unleash all the pain,fury,loss, ANYTHING/EVERYTHING for you. They grab your hand and drag you through it. This is why I have so much love and respect for Courtney Love, Shirley Manson and Patti Smith. I regard them as the three most important musicians of all time. They are strong females who do it THEIR way. They do it their way and what you think doesn’t fucking matter. Their lyrics are sheer poetry and come from a place that most would call dark, or a place most would be afraid to go near. However, why I adore these three mind-blowing and inspiring musicians is for a different article entirely. But, staying with the purity of it- I am going to try to tell you why The Smears are one of the most important bands around.
For the life of me, I cannot remember the first song I heard by them but it was when Myspace was still thought of as being important for music. Maybe it still is. I played their music constantly when I was told about them, so I could really feel where they were coming from and think of questions that weren’t typical. Never settle. Never accept “typical.”
Their music should leave you quivering in a ball but wanting more. They should make you want to start your own kind of riot. Their music is there to bring out all the fight in you. It makes you feel 60 feet tall. Powerful and untouchable. It makes me so sad and fucking angry when people say “Oh the Spice Girls were an important band..etc.” That just pisses me off. There is NO depth to their music. Nothing. There is NOTHING empowering about them, nothing at all. It ballsed up music greatly. If you want a girl band (but please don’t define them by gender) that can truly inspire people to pick up an instrument and start something that is so fucking needed- The Smears are right there. They pick up where the likes of Sleater-Kinney and Bratmobile left off.
If I was 14 years old and I heard The Smears every part of me would just bin everything off around me, start playing the guitar and maintain the teenage angst in my bones and turn it into something truly powerful. That’s all you can do. Rage should NEVER consume you. I believe that anything and everything can be morphed into a form of art. If you’re sad; turn it into a poem. If you’re happy; turn it into a self-portrait.
Get riled up and let it all out. Scream, shout, bleed, cry, fight,fuck, believe, whisper; just do something. Music should make you feel like you can do anything. It should give you the self-belief that carries you through. Although at times it is so much easier to just be full of self-doubt. Trust me, I know. I know what it’s like to feel like you are not good enough to do anything, To not be good enough for another. But the truth is, we are ALL good enough. Other people are just cowards. Music should be the backbone to all you feel. That’s why I love The Smears.
The Smears go beyond being a band. Just by listening to them you can tell they have a gang mentality. It is the three of them against EVERYONE. You can either get behind them, or get the fuck out of the way. I suggest you do the former. It is safer, a lot safer. They are loud and you cannot control them. The music is bold and in your face. They have the raw vibe of Hole’s Pretty On The Inside (their best record.) No other band has really captured that feeling. I am not comparing them to Hole, I’m just saying they capture that atmosphere. The Smears are just phenomenal.
Thrive off proving people wrong and do something from the heart. That is pretty much what I get from listening to The Smears. I got that from them when I first heard them, and I still get it now. When a band can hold your attention like this; you must never let it go. Ever.
Maybe I haven’t said enough about The Smears but I think it is fairly obvious that I love them.
Life can be a form of torture, life can be a piece of heaven. God days, bad days. One second can make you hopeless or hopeful. One person can become your world. One person can ruin your world. Lean on music, and you’ll be fine. Personal opinion. I can be wrong, I can be right. There’s freedom, you just have to find it. I don’t know how you go about this; maybe it just hits you. You can be free whilst sitting alone. You can be free just wandering along the beach. Don’t sacrifice yourself for something that may not last. Sin and do not apologise. Do bad things; do good things. Be the shit on someone’s shoe. Be an angel to the one you love. Listen to Tropic Of Cancer.
Tropic Of Cancer make robotic and eerie sounds for those who aren’t afraid to be scared and feel emotions that are regarded as “dark.” You should never shy away from ugly feelings because when they return; they return with a sick vengeance. It’s better to face something daunting straight away than letting it consume you. But, it depends on the person you are. Some can deal, some card. There’s no right or wrong.
LA has done it again with giving us something truly incredible. Tropic Of Cancer are ethereal with a slight hint of menace to the music. It is everything I love about music. I love music that scares me in some ways, I’m strange like that. I’ll never be able to explain it. I never want to try. It can all be summed up in the music.
I want to write more than this about Tropic Of Cancer because everything about them is what music needs. You don’t always get what you want, and you sometimes ignore what you need. But you need Tropic Of Cancer in your life, so don’t ignore it. It wouldn’t be right.
A moody atmosphere takes over as you listen to Tropic Of Cancer, it’s probably why I love them so much. The fact that it is just one person making this astounding music is also mind-blowing. Camella is a genius. She truly, truly is. If you are wanting music that is created from the depths of the soul and touches every part of you like some kind of outer-body experience then Tropic Of Cancer are for you. Make them yours.
“I don’t think your ability to fight has anything to do with how big you are. It’s to do with how much anger is in you.”
Time drags. Time goes fast. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from everything and everyone to make sense of even the tiniest of events. Events that mean nothing, events that can possibly mean the world. Change your world. Destroy your world. Your heart breaks from one event. An event that many may think “oh it was bound to happen.” Whereas those with heart know it never should’ve happened. I don’t want to write this. I feel the same as I did the day it happened. It will never feel right, it will never be justified. Personally, it still doesn’t feel true.
I’m writing this listening to Amy’s voice..the first time in a year. If I listen to anything else, the words won’t come out. I don’t want the words to come out, this isn’t fucking right. There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said at all. Hearing what had happened..I remember everything. I remember where I was, and who I was with. I was crossing a road with my best friend. We we’re going back to my house before we went to a gig, for his birthday. You just don’t forget. We must never forget.
The whole “27 Club” pisses me off. You cannot glorify death. You cannot glorify tragedy. Glorify the talent.
We’ll never ever have another singer like Amy, that’s pretty obvious. I don’t mean just vocally but personality wise too.
I don’t know why I’m even writing this. It won’t bring her back, it doesn’t make the missing any easier. I used to play her music all the time. Frank is easily one of the greatest debut records of all time. Back To Black is one of the most vulnerable and pure records ever made. I cannot listen to them in the same way..not right now.
I’ll leave it here. There’s nothing I can say, it’s all been done.
I’ve been staring at the screen for a while in the hopes this review writes itself. Not because what I’m listening to is awful, far from it. I cannot find the words to describe such a beautiful record. But, I’m going to try. Sun Kin blew my mind when I first heard them a few months back. Now they’ve put out a record, Good Feels and my love seems to have blossomed.
Good Feels is full of all the good feelings music should give you. Alright sure you may not feel like you are on some lucid trip. You don;t always need that. Sometimes you just need to feel as if your body is leaving you, and floating away. That’s a pretty special thing to get from music. You see, a lot of music seems to be quite soulless of late. But you always find a band that mean more than most. A band with so much heart, soul and passion; they make it easy for you to forget your surroundings. Sometimes you just need that. There’s an art to acceptance and carrying on. A band can help with this, Sun Kin do that.
My favourite track off Good Feels is Rust. Lyrically, I can pretty much relate to that now.
All the songs make me feel less shit with not doing anything of worth with my life. Sun Kill are though. They make music that is beautiful and 100% for the soul. You just need to be reminded of it sometimes you know? It’s alright to be pissed off. It’s okay to be vulnerable.
Sun Kin have some of New York’s finest on this record from Oliver (Ghost Pal) to Daniel Kolpin (Hooves.) The record was also mixed and mastered by Oliver. So you know, it is fair to say that this record is nothing short of perfect.
Kabir and James are just wonderful musicians who are an absolute credit to not just the New York music scene, but to music in general. They make music that makes you believe. They make music that is soothing and delicate. Yet it is enough to carry you through. They are the essence of Summer and a band that you NEED in your collection. Their lyrics are pure poetry and the music is sheer magic.
I have no direction in life. I know what I want, but the realist (or cynic) in me knows I’ll never get there. If I do, I’ll welcome the surprise and probably buy a bottle of Ribena to celebrate. If I expect nothing; I’m not left disappointed. They say this makes for a lonely existence. Maybe for them it does, but not for me. You can be alone even when surrounded by people who apparently like you. It’s hard to like people isn’t it. I used to think “oh everyone is lovely la la la.” It’s not the case. You grow up and you see what people are capable of. I’m not perfect. I’ve probably done more harm than good. But I’m not going to beg for forgiveness and waste my life doing things people approve of. I don’t understand people who need to seek the approval of others in order to be whole. I don’t get why you’d want to dumb yourself down to fit in. I don’t get a lot, it seems. Thing is, self-doubt carries me through. I spent an afternoon the other day at the beach, on my own. These thoughts came into my mind and poured out into the songs I was listening to. We all have bad days, we all have good days. My bad day was enough to make me think, “Is this rock bottom?” It wasn’t. I’ve not hit there in a long time. I put up a fight with myself to make sure I never feel so shit again. I can write this so freely and not care for it. I’ll write this and never look at it again. I never look back on what I have written. Whether it be the nonsense I put here, my songs or my poems. I never look back at them. I don’t know why. Maybe I just think as soon as it leaves me, I don’t need to bother with it. Maybe one day I’ll look back and be proud. As I stood looking at the sea last week, I felt at peace. I also felt like shit. But the wave of peace that came over me was something I’ve not really felt before. I stared blasting Coming Down by Dum Dum Girls in my ears. I felt a connection to that song I had never felt before.
Very early Friday morning..Dee Dee Penny from the band had emailed me her over of Just Like Honey by The Jesus And Mary Chain that she recorded just for me. Quite frankly, it is the best thing I had been given. The tears of the day before were quickly taken over with happy tears. I’m not someone who cries a lot. I’m too sensitive, but I can stop myself. You shouldn’t be afraid to feel. You shouldn’t be scared of the bad days. You shouldn’t throw away the good days. We seem to be afraid to feel. To feel like shit, to love and to feel hurt. It all ties in, but you cannot ignore one side. You just can’t.
The more you hide from something; the worse it’ll be when it comes back around. Luckily, no one I am really close to will read this so I can just let all this out. Like I said earlier, self-doubt isn’t a bad thing. If I ever thought I was good at something; I wouldn’t try. If I thought I was even a decent writer, I’d stop. I’d rather be told “you write really well” rather than “you’ve got a good face.” I don’t believe any of these things, not because I want attention. If I wanted attention I’d get drunk and shout something from my bedroom window. Keep me in the background, part of the furniture. Let someone else shine. Let them over-take. I’m okay with moving slow and doing what I want rather than doing everything rushed and missing out the details. I’ll never be the love of someone’s life. I’ll never be able to play the drums. But I will do a Bob Dylan impression after a few glasses of whiskey if I feel it needs to be done. I found life lessons in the songs I played. I’ve never felt at home anywhere, maybe I’m one of those people who never is at home anywhere. I don’t like routine or structure. I don’t like plans. Everything around you can be beautiful, find an escape route. Or be the escape route. Maybe fate is something that doesn’t exist. The lack of control we have isn’t always a bad thing. I don’t get why you’d always want to be in control of everything. If it is unknown, keep it that way.
I live in a very judgmental place and I cannot wait to leave again. To leave for good. I left one place I hated for good. I’ll never go back. Leaving is easy when you let no one tell you what to do. Advice is alright, but you shouldn’t always do what is right for you. Put your OWN happiness first. Put yourself first. Don’t let anyone sway your heart. Go the beach, and listen to the songs that give you courage.
HEY SUMMER COME BACK! WE WERE JUST GETTING TO KNOW YOU. I understand that you want to leave, can’t force yourself to say. Come back in November? I want the sun to shine on my birthday. I’m going to need it. Approaching 26 is making me feel uneasy and strange. I feel that way most days, but more than usual recently. I don’t know what it is, I know what it is. Maybe I don’t want to face it just yet. Give me music. That’s all I need. I probably need some other things to, but simple things make me happy. That doesn’t mean I’m stupid. I’m not stupid. I’ve stopped dumbing myself down for others. That was a silly thing to do. Never do that. But I promise you, you will find at least ONE person who makes you feel like you can be yourself and change nothing just to be in their company. This person will make you happy. This person will make life easier. You will mean the same to that person. This isn’t for life lessons, this is for music. But you can get life lessons in music. I get them all the time. Or maybe it is just a realisation I get. I’m not sure. Maybe they are the same.
Here’s a new band for you.
What do you know about music from the Liverpool area? Oh you’re a fan of The Beatles? We probably won’t get along. I was never a fan. I’m aware this is much like me saying I like to kick kittens and rip off their tails. (Hey, I’m a veggie and I love animals. I will hug anyone. I give money to the homeless, and I help old people with their shopping..I’m not a twat, I’m okay.) I just don’t like The Beatles. They’re not what I’m into. Personal choice. Let me give you a wonderful band.
Beach Skulls.
Beach Skulls make music that you’ve got to play when the sun is out. I know the sun rarely comes out, so you make your own Summer I guess. Throw a mix CD together and hope you can feel some heat on your bones. I get it, I really do. You need to do that. You need to feel the sun on your back, you’ve got to. I spent most of today in the sun on the beach. Nothing exotic. There was a trolley covered in seaweed, a bird carcass and litter. Maybe I should’ve stayed indoors. Beach Skulls bring it all to you. Their music is so relaxed and atmospheric. They have a LA vibe going on; you know what I mean? Super laid back with melodic vocals that catapult you somewhere beautiful.
Beneath The Waves EP is truly truly fantastic. I firmly believe that this year, more amazing EPs than LPs have been released (from The Creeping Ivies to Clara Engel to Beach Skulls..fantastic EPs.) Beneath The Waves makes you want to get away. Actually no, it makes you believe you CAN get away. The EP gives you hope and love. It gives you chills but warms your soul. I’m utterly baffled as to why Beach Skulls are insanely huge. In good time, in good time.
Until then, if you should read this- treasure them. Keep them as a secret if you want. But, I think you should tell as many people as you can about them. Music should fill you with feelings you sometimes cannot understand. It should also make you feel alive; just bless you with sheer happiness. They make me feel like I am floating towards something peaceful and beautiful. I don’t like to be rushed, ever. You should always take your time with everything in life. Beach Skulls make you leave everything behind, all that matters is this moment. The moment you spend listening to them. It’s like Nick Cave during a really good Summer. I just love them. (I also adore Nick Cave.)
My personal favourite track by them is Grey Today, the cynic in me loves songs like this.
Beat In My Bones. 