Writing this on nearly no sleep means this will not make sense. There’s a good chance that this will read as some strange emotional outburst. I’d apologise, but I’m not sorry. I’ll save them for a time where I am actually sorry.
When you have loved a band for so long, finally seeing them live gives you this feeling that, at best, you cannot describe. But at worst is the most frustrating thing in the world. That’s the thing about Music, you can have these frustrating feelings that sooner or later- will get the better of you. Going to a gig, you can just let it all out. You can justify your tears because certain songs make you feel less alone. Certain songs you feel were written for you. Certain songs give you the courage to do something that terrifies you. Sometimes, you’ve just got to face your fears. Or a band help you do so.
I first started listening to Uh Huh Her when Common Reaction came out. I was in a bad place. It was worse than bad, but you don’t need to know. Sometimes you’ve got to destroy who you were in order to become what you want to be. In the process, you let go and leave behind. The songs on this record made every change and fuck up I caused around me less daunting to face. I still can’t listen to Dreamer without wanting to cry like a baby, it’s just a really sad and longing song. Even the most emotionally stable could be reduced to tears after hearing this song. I’m totally fine now, but if I listened to it now, I’d still breakdown. Some songs are just that powerful. Their latest record, Nocturnes in my mind was probably one of the most underrated records of last year. The production on all they’ve ever done has always been something I have admired. Then came the live show.
Waiting to see the band that have meant the world to you for such a long time is intense and a long process, yet it is beyond worth it when the time comes around to see them.
Everything about Uh Huh Her justifies why I have so much love for duos (okay so live they’re not a duo but still..) They just have a better chemistry, and the stage presence is perfect. You can see this in the likes of Beach House, The Kills..and all the other duos I constantly declare my love for. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep it together when the PA system played The Horrors followed by The Kills, standard behaviour I guess.
If you’ve seen Cam and Leisha on this tour (or live in general) you’ll know it’s pretty much an amazing experience. You treasure it so much more because they do not tour the UK/Europe all that often, I guess that’s why their fans are pretty fucking loyal. And maybe a bit mental too (the good kind.)
I have no idea where I was when I was just stood there singing along. It still doesn’t feel like it has happened, it doesn’t feel real. I’ve had this feeling before. The first time I saw Morrissey I had this exact same feeling, and I got it last month when I saw The Horrors. When a band are such a huge part of your life, the very second they walk on stage it is like every feeling you have is fully justified. When you listen to their songs on a daily basis, you do truly connect but when you see it live, you pick up on certain lines lot more. It’s a bit like, “OH SHIT…NOW I GET IT!” Wait Another Day’s meaning to me just hit a new level last night, I’m pretty sure I felt part of me break and fix at the same time. Something clicked and I’m trying to work out if it’s a good or bad thing, maybe I’ll never know. Maybe I’m not meant to. But it did something. I’ve Had Enough is on the same level too. I’m also pretty sure I See Red acoustic is one of the most stunning things I have ever witnessed.
Throughout the gig I had a few mini outbursts (good ones, I don’t mean I hit anyone. I’m not like that.) The main one occured when Cam introduced Ladyhawke to come out and play Black And Blue with them. For that moment it wasn’t like you were at a gig. It was like you were watching a group of friends have fun at band practice. It was amazing that a venue this size could produce something so intimate. With music, especially live music you can allow yourself to forget everything for a while (with the occasional reminder.) For me, last night for that hour and a bit I could forget all I had on my mind. From worrying about my mum to other stuff, I allowed myself to let go for a while. Now, I’m back to clinging onto it and worrying again. But, I’m human and sadly I cannot switch off. Uh Huh Her’s music make it okay for you to cling onto certain feelings, maybe they are the ones that keep you going. Even if they could be the ones that are eating you up a bit.
Waiting this long to see Cam, Leisha (and Josh of course!) was something that was truly worth it. And I guess with life, sometimes you just have to wait for what you want. No matter how long it takes- it’ll happen, if it is meant to. I know that this is probably the worst thing I’ve written but I’m still in the process of taking the gig in. It was just perfect, if you were there-you know it was. If you’ve seen them on this tour, again, you’ll know how perfect it was. How they are. They deserve to be fucking huge. Their DIY approach to how they make music is so inspiring and much-needed. Another thing that needs pointing out is, at the end of their shows they truly make time for their fans by selling the merch and doing signings. There’s not many bands around that do this, and it is one of the many many reasons as to why Cam and Leisha are an asset to music and the industry.
Until next time…
*(But seriously, I am sorry for how all over the place this is. Lack of sleep and stuff does this to you. Sorrysorrysorrysorry! xx I also think the gig has left me wanting a hug. I may go buy a puppy or something.)