Author Archives: Olivia

Total Slacker.

Posted on by

The amount of cough medicine I have poured into my body over the weekend is enough to make me hero, Lester Bangs either proud of..or enough to make him curse me from the skies. I haven’t taken it because I love him and I’m doing it in his honour. Oh no. I’ve done it because I am ill. To the point where if I go outside and go for a walk, after 10 minutes I feel like I’m going to pass out. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m hoping it’ll piss off soon. I’ve got a delightful husky voice to go with it. I’m like a really unsexy version of Barry White right now..oh wait!

Taking all this cough medicine should be enough to make me go a bit lucid. Not true. Total Slacker are doing it for me instead. Their hypnotic sounds are making my mind take off and my body feel weightless. Fuck this shit, can someone PLEASE take me to America where I can be surrounded by music I love more than my general being can contain? Total Slacker are the hyperactive version of Crocodiles. I love Crocodiles more than you will ever know, so this is a huge compliment for Total Slacker. The name alone fills me with joy. Their music, well..I don’t have the words but I’ve got the time to try.

You know what pisses me off..(aside from racism, attention seekers, homophobes and those that judge) bands that are so insanely talented and are unsigned. The state of music isn’t bad if you go look for something worth believing in. Just because it is on commercial radio doesn’t mean its good. You go listen to Rihanna, I’ll listen to Total Slacker. I can relate to them. I cannot relate to a Rihanna song.

Brooklyn…Brooklyn. You and L.A. are the owners of my heart. I’d be inside you if I had the means. Total Slacker have this mental sound that causes your head to spin at a ridiculous speed. But at the same time, it does something to your soul. In a physical way it makes you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster. Mentally, it makes you think you’re on some trip. I’ve never done drugs. I’m anti-drugs (my laptop got searched for drugs the other day at the airport. They were evidently judging me hard based on how I dress. Fistful of wankers) but Total Slacker make you feel so spaced out. Is this the cough medicine finally kicking in? I hate making comparisons but this is like the Pixies and The Jesus And Mary Chain fucked with each other. This is so perfect.

You don’t need to be over-produced and have about a billion layers to your music to be amazing. Just play with heart,soul, passion and have this raw feeling about you. Like Total Slacker do. Maybe it’s an East Coast thing? I’m directing a lot of love towards this band. I really really cannot get my head around the fact that they aren’t signed. The hell is up with that? This distorted, spaced out yet hyperactive sound is everything I love about music, and how music should be. Why is this being ignored? Whatever, the main thing is that a band like this exist.

Now, if you don’t mind I’m going to carry on listening to them and imagine I am living in a spaceship or something more interesting than real life.

http://marshalltellerrecords.bigcartel.com/product/mt009-total-slacker-thrashin-lp BUY THE RECORD.

Be kind.

Spiritualized- Sweet Heart Sweet Light.

Posted on by

Attempting to type when you have the flu is like trying to run a marathon when you’ve vommed up your guts. It hurts and you have no idea what is going on. I have no idea what is going on right now. I’ve tried to sleep it off, but it’s just not happening. I’ve probably had too much cough medicine, and should ease off it now. It tastes really nice. A bit like Ribena. I feel like I need to be cradled gently so I fall asleep, and when I wake up I feel normal again. As there’s no one to do this, I’m seeking comfort in Spiritualized. Again.

As a person, I have a lot of feelings. This doesn’t mean I cry at everything or anything. I just know how to feel. I’m not afraid to have emotions. I’d be worried if I turned into a robot. I know it’d be easier if I had none, but I’m not that kind of person. I’m far too sensitive, I hate that part of me. It’s an unattractive trait. I guess on anyone else it’d be okay though. I learnt that it’s okay to be vulnerable and sensitive through listening to the stunning work Jason Pierce creates. His work as Spiritualized has got me through things I wish to never face again. However knowing my luck, I probably will. But, I drag on through it by using his words as a pillar of hope. A source of light. Refuge, I suppose. Everything about his music just elevates the soul and eases the mind. His seventh record is by no means an exception. You can place it against the other 6 as being highly influential and mind-blowing.

It’s virtually impossible for me to write about this record without wanting to be so horrifically personal. Just to vocalise everything Jason means to me. It’s impossible, so I’ll keep this as short as I can without being personal.

This album feels like you are being swayed delicately. If you feel broken-hearted, ill, down, lost, tired- play this record. It is the biggest source of comfort I have found in a long time. I probably feel more for it than I usually would because I am so bloody tired, and ill. Freedom is my favourite track off the record because it just feels like…I have no idea. I really don’t.

You know what? I’m not even going to bother. Just go listen to it yourself : http://www.npr.org/2012/04/08/149860995/first-listen-spiritualized-sweet-heart-sweet-light?ft=1&f=98679384#playlist

Genuinely lost for words right now. I’m not even sorry. Maybe this is a sign that I shouldn’t bother writing anymore. I’m stumped. I cannot find the words to describe this beautiful piece of art.

I think this record is probably one of the best things I have ever ever heard. I have no idea how to feel about anything right now, compared to this..I just don’t know at all. I really don’t. How can a person make something like this? How is it possible to create something so haunting and hypnotising? I’m in awe. It goes beyond being in awe.

This record makes me feel like I’m at the aftermath of death. That I’m going to the afterlife. I’ve never known anyone but Jason Pierce to make me feel this way. I feel like I have died and gone into the afterlife. No worries, no baggage- nothing at all. Entirely weightless and unconditionally happy. This state of beauty it puts you in allows you to feel weak, it makes it okay for you to feel weak. Fall apart. It is completely okay. The record will carry you through and make it all okay again.

Be gentle.

Marilyn Manson-No Reflection (video.)

Posted on by

I am content with this being the only music videos I lay my eyes upon this year. It is wonderfully fucked up and beautifully decadent. Pretty much standard for Marilyn Manson, right?

Cue the idiots of the world calling him a freak. Whatever. The guy is genius. The album is clearly going to be one of the best things to happen this year. Comeback of the year? For sure. I just love him, a lot. So I’m going to stand by this statement with my hand on my heart.

Courtney Love.

Posted on by

When you truly love a singer, you look beyond all the bad press. You know that the press are just out to set a person up for a fall. For some fucked up reason mistakes are held up high and any hints of success are immediately ignored. Humans are becoming less and less compassionate. Increasing in their cruel streak.

I’m not saying Courtney Love is perfect. She will tell you she isn’t. Nobody on this planet is perfect. We all do things we aren’t proud of. Some on a daily basis. If you learn and keep growing as a person, you’re just fine. Fuck what anyone thinks though, right?

I’ve always loved the music Courtney Love made. Whether it was on her own or in Hole. I never cared for her personal life at all. She had a drug habit? Big deal. She was married to Kurt Cobain? Big deal. I was never a fan of Nirvana. Everytime I hear some wanker say “Courtney killed Kurt” I do want to throttle them. Were you there? No. You weren’t. You probably only claim to dig Nirvana because you want to seem cool. Rip your jeans and hate the world. It’s just an image to you. I was never a fan of Nirvana, but I respect Kurt as a musician. His lyrics could cut through your heart with his honesty. So how come nobody has ever saw this in Courtney’s lyrics?

If you want to find a strong female musician who, against it all, kept going when she was expected by so many to just keep on fucking up and giving up- then Courtney is your woman. Those who are quick to judge her and slag her off, have you ever listened to her words? Have you heard Live Through This? That record is empowering in its truest form. It touches on subjects most are afraid to touch on due to them being “taboo.” How can you expect society be open when it shuts up on haunting subjects? We truly need women like Courtney in music. I still live in hope that some 14-year-old girl is listening to Hole and feels the need to start her own movement. Live Through This starts some kind of fire inside of you. When you’ve listened to this record, you just see the world in a different way. You see the unfairness and how unequal society still is and it makes you want to do something about it. What are YOU going to do about all the wrong you see?

For me, Courtney is the underdog that has so much heart and soul you cannot ignore her. How could you want to silence such a force?

I first heard Hole in 1994. I remember seeing the video to Doll Parts and my young eyes were just obsessing over what I was seeing. I couldn’t get my head round the video. I loved the angst feel to it. You know, one of the first tapes I remember being given was a 4 Non Blondes album by my mum. She knew I loved the angst feel. I wasn’t an angry child. I was much like I am now. Quite, sensitive and stupidly gentle. I just loved music that was loud, bold and honest. I still do.

When you hear how much a singer believes in what they are singing, you really cannot help but believe in every word too. You fall for it. It is just like falling in love. You get the butterflies when you hear their voice. You cling onto every single word. You believe in it with all you have and refuse to let anyone say a bad word against them. Maybe it can be destructive, but look beyond that and you see all it is, is unconditional. So long as they put out the songs that sum up how you feel, you will love them with all you have.

Maybe I just love Courtney so much that I cannot see why anyone would choose to keep such a strong woman down. Or maybe I’ve answered it myself right there. Maybe it is because she is so strong, she is seen as a threat you know? Because she speaks her mind and writes from the heart, she is seen as some kind of threat. Well you know what, I’d rather have someone as strong and fierce (I don’t mean it in a Tyra Banks fashion) be seen as a threat than someone stupid (insert any politician really.)

Her lyrics touch on anything and everything. From rape to romance. From wanting to never wanting again. To wanting to give yourself to a person to wanting a person to take everything from you. Maybe you’re scared of the fact that you can identify with her lyrics, you hate how open she is and you hate how you cannot be open. Face that fear.

I don’t understand how a person such as Courtney is ridiculed and shot down- yet if it was anyone else, they’d probably hold that person up so high. I can list the few singers that caused me to write songs/poems and Courtney is one of them. Earlier this evening, I just sat on my bed and wrote her a poem. She’ll never see it, no one will ever see it. But she’s been an inspiration to me ever since 1994, it’s the least I could do.

It pains me that Courtney will be one of these artists that people will pay attention and love when she is no longer with us. Why can’t we just see how talented she is now and stop being a general asshat towards her talent? If it wasn’t for her, a lot of the female musicians we have now wouldn’t have bothered to pick up a guitar and start their own movement.

Females such as Shirley Manson, Brody Dalle, Gwen Stefani are all as equally as inspiring to me (and others) as Courtney is. Strong and honest. Stop seeing these qualities as a threat. Try and silence them as much as you want, but its obvious you never ever will.

If it wasn’t for Courtney I don’t know if I would’ve cared for lyrics as much as I do. Yes, I love Morrissey but with Courtney she let out the fears, pains and furies one feels as a female. Now more than ever, as an adult I can relate a hell of a lot more. There’s so much more to her than what you have read about her. Don’t believe the press, believe in her lyrics. That’s where you will find the truth.

Her vulnerability in her lyrics mean more to me than I can even attempt to express. She made it okay for you to feel like you are falling apart, but still find that one tiny thing to give you the strength to drag yourself through. Basically “Live Through This.”

Low Roar.

Posted on by

Accidents happen. Sometimes we are made to feel bad about it, sometimes we just cannot help it. Good can come from it, if you look closer. I accidentally found Low Roar. I cannot find any fault in this.

I think they’re a duo. I know there are some shit duos, but I’m not exactly going to write about something I don’t like. I don’t understand that. To hell with all the negativity in the world. Low Roar have created some of the most loving, gentle and peaceful music I’ve ever heard. Sure I love some shouty music every now and then. But sometimes, I just want to hear something calming and gentle. I’ve truly found that in Low Roar. They have that beauty that is in the likes of Boards Of Canada but their tame and loving sound is like no other at all.

This is the kind of music you listen to when you feel low and delicate. This is the kind of music that makes you feel like you are being held softly until everything just feels right once more. When that lonely feeling creeps up towards you, Low Roar act like a deterrent and chase it away with their tranquil sounds. The mood they create is just so beautiful. I don’t understand why music like this isn’t huge, this is what the world needs. But hey, we can’t have everything. Just treasure them in your own way and don’t ever let go.

Billie Holiday.

Posted on by

 

 

97 years ago today the GREATEST female singer of all time was born. Her voice could break your heart, it still does. Listen to Strange Fruit and you will feel such hate for humanity because of how cruel they are. Listen to P.S. I Love You, and your heart will ache from how loving it is. Her voice was a voice that STILL inspires so many singers now. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have so many of the strong female singers we have now. She was as powerful as she was weak, and that is what made her believable and easy to relate to.

I did part of my dissertation at Uni about her. I learnt so much about her. Until then I just respected and loved the voice. The further I delved into her background, the more I felt towards her music. Her music oozed love and pain. Just like her life. Swindled out of money during the last few years of her life, it’s just so sad. A vulnerable and talented woman who changed music forever.

Happy Birthday Billie Holiday xx

TRUST.

Posted on by

I’m fascinated with duos. How two people can make incredible sounds leaves me in awe. Most of the bands I love are duos. Some are noisy, some create hypnotic calming sounds. The latter applies to my latest obsession-Trust.

Canada has produced some amazing bands. My all time favourite being Metric. Now, Toronto has given us one of the best acts around- Trust. My love for them was instant and will more than likely spiral out of control. Typing this is like having a conversation with myself because I doubt any of my friends will dig Trust. They’ll probably give me that look that I am all too familiar with. I have to share my love of music with someone or something, so I write it here. Maybe one day, someone will pick up on it. Trust have this heightened feel to their music. You feel like you are being taken to this secret world. It feels dark, but also really really euphoric. For me, it feels like an outer body experience listening to them.

If you’re a fan of The Knife, Alpines..bands like that- then you’ll love Trust. I’m typing this and every inch of my body hurts. I’ve got some horrific cold going on, I can forget how awful I feel by listening to Trust’s beautiful music.

They make me want to shut my eyes, stand in a forest and let a wave of darkness just take over. Then I open my eyes and I am in the midst of a strobe light battle. It creates such vivid imagery in your mind. They have the dark feel of Bauhaus but the trippy feel of Warpaint. To say I’m in love with them is an understatement.  They’re the kind of band that when you listen to them, you think “I’ve been searching for this sound all my life.” A relief takes over, and you know nothing is ever going to be the same again now you’ve found them. There’s hope, darkness and wonder in their music. Escapism comes through in their music, let them guide you. You’ll probably discover something utterly beautiful.

 

Gossip-Perfect World (video.)

Posted on by

Being yourself is a chore. You are frequently told to “be yourself.” But as soon as you are, people shoot you down for it and judge you. They judge you HARD for it. You like a band no one has really heard of- they call you pretentious. You do something positive with your life leaving the past behind- you’re called various expletives just because you’re doing something with your life. Put yourself first, and you are called selfish. What is up with that? Can’t we just stop being dicks to each other? No? Didn’t think so.

Sometimes, we struggle with who we are. I struggled for bloody years with being gay. I loathed myself and the rest of it. Then I listened to Gossip. It was Jason’s Basement that I remember first hearing. I fell in love. Every record got me through that struggle of accepting who I was. Thing is, I don’t let my sexuality define who I am. I don’t go up to new people and say “HI, I’M OLIVIA AND I’M A LESBIAN.” Fuck no. Who cares. I can accept myself, I don’t care for others opinion. Gossip taught me how to feel at ease with who I am and to not be ashamed.

Perfect World is another empowering anthem from Nathan, Hannah and Beth. The video is beautifully shot. Cannot wait for the new record. I spent most of my time at Uni following the band around. Skipping lectures just to see them. Seeing them live is like a religious experience. You feel weightless and trouble-free. Your body is full of love and you feel like you can do anything. I just bloody love them.

Dum Dum Girls-FD Acoustic Session.

Posted on by

Whilst I was waiting for my (delayed) flight home this afternoon, I was stood in line feeling sorry for myself as I was feeling a bit delicate (hungover, or so I thought- turns out I’ve got a cold which is hurting every part of me!) so I played Dum Dum Girls. I felt like Dee Dee’s gentle voice was nursing me through my wait and ill state. I had them on repeat, and started to perk up a little bit. I also napped on my flight. It’s better than staying awake and looking out the window thinking “OH SHIT!” as you look down. Besides, I like being asleep. I can’t bother anyone and no one can bother me..sometimes.

They did a little acoustic session recently in France and honestly, I don’t think any words can justify how beautiful the performance is. Dee Dee, in my eyes, is THE most underrated singer around. More people need to know and love Dum Dum Girls. They’re just a stunning band that have songs that will break your heart, fix your heart and make you dance. Since falling in love with them in 2009 they have kept me sane when I thought I was going to lose my shit. I have no idea what I would’ve done without last year’s Only In Dreams. Coming Down will always be a crutch to me. Hold Your Hand breaks my heart, to not be moved by this song well- you may be heartless.

“Shake your head, it’s empty.”

Posted on by

Wants and needs cloud your judgement. It’s easier to ignore them both so you can carry on. And carry on you will. This is the hangover talking. Not in a physical sense, that passed at half 10 this morning when I stood in the shower playing Explode by Uh Huh Her about 5 times until I felt like a person again. Things go wrong very quickly, you try to be cautious. You do what is right. You leave things behind so you can move forward. The things you never faced smack you right in the face when you have brief moments on your own. I’m trying to distance myself from this because some things, well..you’ve got to never tell so you stay sane. So what happens? Lose.Your.Shit. Lose your mind if you want. Nobody is strong all the time. Nobody is always weak. You can find strength in the things you think are killing you, metaphorically. You hold everything back. And for what reason? You’ve got your reasons. You try to let it out, but for some reason- it just won’t come out. Not because you’re biting your tongue constantly, but..the words. The words are not there. So you find a sense of peace and become calm in the midst of hearing THAT certain part in a song that you love. The song that cradles you. The song that nurses you. Like a whisper in your ear, “It’s going to be okay.” It will be okay.

One day I will take on board what I have just typed up. Until then, I’ll remain a hypocrite, or maybe just one of life’s lost causes plodding their way through. Knowing that nothing is secure, or forever. Time is just a way of limiting yourself. I never wear a watch. Lose yourself to something positive than give yourself up to something destructive. This is why I don’t show my poetry or songs to anyone. It goes deeper than the paragraph above, and I’m ashamed of it.

So, with this utter nonsense out of the way- there are songs. There are always songs. Songs that will drag you through because you just don’t want to think about how you’d word it. Wants and needs. You want a person, but do you need them? Anyone who says they don’t need anyone is lying. Even if it’s just one person, you cannot deny that you need them. It doesn’t have to be in a romantic way. A relative, a close chum- you need them. You want them around. You think you’re going to lose them at times. You think you’re about to because the Universe is a fucking BITCH. Solace is found in music. Shut it all off and fall into the music. It’s the only way you know how. And maybe…just maybe we are all struggling to get to the same thing in life. So, please be kind to everyone. Be respectful and tolerant. Walk gently through life and do everything with heart. Speak up. Be strong, be weak. Be yourself.