Author Archives: Olivia

“No longing for the moonlight, no longing for the sun. No longer will I curse the bad I’ve done.”

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If you feel like you belong in this world, that you were born at the right time then you are so lucky. If you don’t feel empty when you see what your generation are into, then you are lucky. If you can relate, then man..how do you do it? Reality shows are fake and pointless. Books are being turned into devices. Record stores are closing. And I don’t understand why people use Instagram. Why do people take photos of their food? If I wanted to know what you ate, I probably would’ve asked if you wanted to go for dinner. I don’t get it. I don’t hate everything around me; far from it. I just don’t really hold much hope, love or like even towards modern life. I hate that I was born when I was, and grew up to see cultures turn cold and reliant on things that can break instantly.

Some bands are hell-bent on recreating a sound that was done in the 70s/80s. Some do it really well without making it obvious. However some just look silly. It’s like that time everyone thought neon paint and “bringing back” the 80s was a good idea. I guess current times are so shit, we must stay in the past. Again, I don’t get it.

I don’t really understand people who claim to only listen to music that isn’t current you know? Do you have ANY idea what you’re missing out on? From 2:54 to Crocodiles to King Dude to Warpaint and all in-between. There’s so much good music that you’re missing out on. I know, I know we will never have an album as powerful as Psychocandy or as creepy as Seventeen Seconds or as wonderful as Viva Hate. It’s okay. Trust me, it’s alright.

But modern life (aside from some music) is a drag. It’s a chore to get up and carry on, I know. I fully understand. If I didn’t force myself to go to the gym every morning I’d probably stay in my room and not go out. Not because modern life is toss, but for many other reasons. You have to force yourself to carry on and do what you can. You just have to. The alternative isn’t exactly something that appeals.

You twist, you turn. You fight with yourself, you fight with anyone who will listen. You declare you’re not good enough. You know why? Because your surroundings make you believe that you’re worth nothing. Thing is, we’re all worth something. Maybe not to ourselves but to one person for sure. I know I should pay attention to what I write; but I just can’t. I don’t think I could ever fully believe in myself and not carry some self-doubt you know. I just think, if I ever thought I was good at something I would never do it again. If I thought I was a decent Music Writer, I’d stop. I’m not looking for a pat on the back or for someone to say I’m any good. Far from it. This is my venting my frustrations at life and how we are becoming more numb to all we see, and all we are. People are caring less and less. My problem is that I probably care too much. I don’t care what people think about me because 1 or 2 people truly know me. As you get older, you realise what matters. You slowly see that people are as cruel as school kids in the playground. They will stab you in the back, and through the heart too. Whilst trying to fuck with your mind. People aren’t as loving as they once were.

Where I live everyone looks the same. I try not to look up when I leave the house. If I look up and around, my self-hate will go through the roof. Eye contact just doesn’t happen. The pavement is my friend. The cracks are the tales of fury. They cracked because they couldn’t take it anymore. I fully understand.

I hate where I am, and the harder I try to get out; the further I am knocked back.

So I play music as loud as I can in my ears. Just to drown out everything, and everyone. It’s working. I’ll get out, even if I have to fucking crawl.

I’m using music to drag me through.

2:54- Sugar (video.)

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“Unfamiliar territory gets the best of me.”

I have to be super quick with this because my bus is in 10 minutes and I’m not a fast walker.

Right, you know how much I am in love with 2:54 right? You know their record is my favourite of the year? Since May I have had it on constant repeat. Every song moves me in ways no other band can do. They warm my bones and blow my mind. I love love LOVE them. I’ve been in love with them for the 2 years of so. Creeping, the original version felt like a wave of euphoria take me over. This happened multiple times as I played their debut record. I felt alive. I felt so much, and I still.

ANYWAY.

New single is my favourite track off the record, Sugar. I play the record when I’m at the gym and abusing the rowing machine. Sugar always makes me go faster and nearly break stuff. Including myself. I realised recently that Sugar would be an amazing lap-dancing song wouldn’t it? I have my pervy/weird moments, this song brings it out fully. Colette’s vocals on this track are perfect. It’s like she is seducing you and you can imagine her staring at you with prowling eyes..getting deep into your soul. Taking you over. It’s not just Colette that does that to you. Throughout the whole album Joel, Alex and Hannah take you over. This song is a prime example of it; and all the more reason for you to go buy the record.

Night Sins.

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“Like a fuck in the evening for a bit of a thrill, an entire life of time to kill.”

Here’s a thought, if you could never feel bad again would you enjoy it? Some people enjoy misery, I don’t understand them at all. I only understand what I throw myself into, which isn’t much. I think having a constant sense of, “the fuck is going on” is healthy. I think if I had some kind of organisation in my life, I’d be a hazard to myself. If I knew what I was doing, I’d hate it. I hate routine. The only thing I do that is remotely a routine is the 2 and a half hours I spend at the gym every morning (Tired of being a fat fuck you see, only I can change it. It also helps the mind.) I don’t like order. I never have, and I probably never will. I hate making plans. If you want me to be somewhere, drag me there. Don’t give me a time or a warning in advance; I’ll forget. Not because my thoughts are everywhere but because my attention span is truly awful. However, I can sit perfectly still for hours and read a book. Something isn’t right. Or maybe nothing is wrong. Who knows.

Well fuck all that. Music. Are you ready for something gloomy? No? Why are you reading this then? Alright.

Do you like Cold Cave? Man..if you do, we should be friends you know. I fucking love Cold Cave. Wes Eisold has been a hero of mine since American Nightmare, but you already knew that. You’d know that if you read the nonsense I write, not if you stand outside my bedroom door and hear the music I play. Imagine if that was a way of winning someone over. If they loved your music taste, or read the words you wrote and just fell in love. I live in hope, but the realist in me knows this is stupid and will never happen. I’d panic anyway. I say panic, but I’d just turn my music up louder.

Night Sins. Brilliant name for a band. Guess we all do bad stuff at night. I’m capable of being a dumb fuck day or night, so it doesn’t mean as much. I feel sorry for my close friends. Night Sins make music that’ll terrify you but their words will grip you much like Cold Cave do. I’m not saying they are the same;far from it. The only comparison I can make is that well, I just love both a hell of a lot. You know how it is.

I just want to really talk about how incredible they are. I’m not paid to give my opinion so I always praise. However, if I was ever paid to do this; I’d still be positive. If there’s one thing I hate it is Music Journalists that seem to praise a band then hate them a week later. They don’t check their facts, and they make weird shit up. Come on now, stop being lazy. I don’t get it at all. I really don’t. I’d say I want to punch them, but I’m not violent in the slightest. I keep my rage inside, best way. Fuck it.

So Night Sins are pretty damn good, as you can tell. They have this atmosphere of the likes of Bauhaus, Sisters Of Mercy, The Cure (Seventeen Seconds era) but have a haunting vibe that’s in the likes of Cold Cave, Pop.1280, The Men- so I guess it is pretty obvious that they are a band I was destined to find and fall in love with.

They make music that you listen to at 3am when you feel your soul wither away; you want to scream it out. But you don’t, you let yourself fall apart in order for this band to fix you in a way you didn’t think a band could heal you. They come from Philly and there’s 5 of them ( Kyle, Drew, Michael, Elena and Chris.) Each member will mesmorise you and start-up a fury right inside of you. They get right to the core of your feelings, drag them out and expose you. Expose every truth and you cannot hide behind the lies no more. Open up man, open up.

Night Sins are easily one of the best bands I’ve heard all year. I’ve exposed my ears to some brilliant stuff this year, and I can say with confidence that Night Sins have made a grumpy English fool quite happy.

Check them out here : http://ddlvng.bandcamp.com/

 

*Just so you know, I could happily have written a few thousand words on my love for these guys but I’ve kept it short and to the point..well, I tried. I just love them a lot and I wish them all the success possible because they truly deserve it. A fantastic band that play with passion and heart. Much needed right now.

King Dude.

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“You can break my heart just please don’t break the rest of me.”

Some of the best music is heartbreaking. It hits you in the gut, rips your heart out and leaves you crying into a bowl of cereal at 4am. That’s when you hit rock bottom. I’m waiting for it to happen. I’ll probably find it too funny and shrug it off. One day, I will learn. I will learn when it is too late. When all I have is that bowl of cereal, probably gone soggy and at 4am I will let it all out. I’ll weep..and I’ll be unsure why. I hope it doesn’t happen. But if it does, I’ll crawl towards my records and play something. Anything. Just for an escape. A release that is greater than anything I have ever known.

But sadness will come to all. Happiness will come to us all eventually. It lasts, it doesn’t last. Love can last, love can cease eventually. If it has been building up inside of you for a while, you know it will never leave. Even if it hurts. Sometimes it is worth getting hurt. Personally, I’d rather get hurt than never know. As I get older, I can deal with hurt better than I did when I was younger. I am by no means tough though. Far from it. I just know what works and what doesn’t.

The emptiness you feel cannot be filled with the first thing that comes your way. It takes time. Just don’t put all your faith into one person. I’ve learnt that one must never ever do that. When you hand your hope to someone, they crush it. I’m not being a morbid fuck, I’m just being honest. I’ll be honest here but keep a lot from others. Those that may know me, probably don’t. This is my outlet, thank fuck. Not that there’s anything wrong. But not like anything is right either. Everyday is the same, so try something different. It’s just getting someone to try. That’s a fucking drag. But hey, whatever right? Whatever indeed.

So I should tell you about Kind Dude now.

It all ties in. All the nonsense above ties in.

Kind Dude is the solution to loneliness and desperation. So dark and gripping. It’s like a David Lynch film but less of a mind-fuck. Let it be known, and let it be believed that TJ Cowgill is a genius. The way he taps into your subconscious and unleashes every ugly and every fragile feeling you hold is nothing short of genius. Many try to grasp the concept of these things, and mess it up along the way. It is fair to say TJ does it in a way no one else has done, nor will they ever do.

He makes the kind of music that makes you want to sit alone in a cabin in the woods with a bottle of GOOD whiskey. None of this cheap shit. His haunting lyrics match Townes Van Zandt’s, the way he truly truly delves so deep. Music is lacking heart, but the heart is kept alive by the likes of King Dude. It’s all well and good saying something moves you, but seriously, King Dude moves you in a way unlike any other.

You Can Break My Heart is going on my list of favourite songs of the year. It’s just perfect. We all know someone/have someone in our lives that we’d let hurt us more than anyone. Sometimes you’ve just got to let that happen. Let it out, and let it hurt. Let them hurt you, but you’ll probably hold them as they apologise. But would they apologise? They can destroy your heart, but they cannot destroy you, the person that you are.

There’s blues, folk and a hint of lo-fi. Basically, there’s a lot to love. If you can’t love this guy, then maybe you’ve never been low or been hurt. If that’s the case then you’re lying or you are the cause to problems.

If you’re looking for someone who can ease all those intense and unwanted feelings; King Dude is the one you need. If you are unafraid of exposing yourself to dark feelings and such; King Dude is for you. I hope I’ve not portrayed him as a morbid soul because he really isn’t. He is just one of the very few who can fully grasp ugly feelings and turn it into a work of art. He turns it into something beautiful.

In short, King Dude is that light at the end of the tunnel, as they say. You can always find comfort in music. That breakdown doesn’t always have to happen. Sometimes a song can save you and hold you up.

You can listen (and please do) to his work here : http://kingdude.bandcamp.com

Antony & The Jonhsons- Cut The World(video.)

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There aren’t many singers that can reduce me to tears by hearing their voice. Most just send me to another world; very few can turn me into a blubbering mess within seconds. Today I’m in an alright mood. I just watched the new video by Antony & The Johnsons, and his voice within seconds made me cry. I remember when I heard Hope There’s Someone and I felt every single part of me melt. It was overwhelming. I cried. Yet I had to keep playing the song over and over.

Antony’s voice is so pure, vulnerable and haunting. I’ve honestly never heard a voice so delicate and stunning. His words make you feel less ashamed and his voice is so gentle; it makes you feel as if all the bad in your life no longer matters.

Cut The World is stunning. The video is dark, and you can take what you wish from it. Those who can’t deal with anything gruesome may not enjoy it, but for the sake of art you can truly call this a wonderful video. Personally, this is one of my favourite videos I have seen in a long time.

The build up in the video matches the intense build up in the song. Not many can truly capture this, but here it is done so perfectly.

Captain Beefheart:”A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast ‘n bulbous, got me?”

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“You look dandy in the sky but you don’t scare me.
‘Cause I got you here in my eye.”

Yesterday I had to explain to my 83-year-old Grandma who Captain Beefheart was. She said, “Well..I already know who Nick Cave is and I like him.” My Grandma is better than yours, for many reasons. Mainly this one. This is one of my favourites.

If something is strange; I’ll probably enjoy it. I just have a disposition to like things that are a bit mental really. I like mental people too. But the good kind. Not the kind who yell at stuff in the street and follow you home. I know they need love too, but my love is not for them. I know exactly who and what my love is for.

I really love mental music. I love music that makes me feel like I’m having an outer-body experience. I love music that makes me feel like I am being punched then hugged then swayed. Music that fucks you over with several feelings at once. I guess that’s what love is like? I’d say “I wouldn’t know.” But that’s unfair. My love for bands that are borderline insane is probably obsessive. I love bands such as The Orange Alabaster Mushroom to Frank Zappa. If it sounds strange, I’ll like it. If it looks strange, I’ll probably approach it. I should never go outside.

Don Van Vliet aka Captain Beefheart in my mind was the greatest frontman of all time. His words, his demeanour, his everything was so enigmatic and captivating. I found his music on my own, I’m not sure how it happened but I developed a massive obsession. Thing is, I don’t think he is someone you can just stick on in the background. You can’t just play Safe As Milk in the background and go on about your daily routine. He made music that fucked up your soul and eased your mine. His lyrics were a strange form of seduction. His voice was not only distinctive, but so powerful. The strength he had in his voice just left you in awe. From the gnarly sounds in Dropout Boogie to the tenderness in I’m Glad.

Don was more than just a singer in one of the best bands ever. He was a TRUE artists. His fearless nature and his strange lyrics just made him someone you could relate to because you know what it’s like to be told “NO” but still want more, and to get what you want. The underdog is always refused because sometimes you’ve got to put an end to all the refusal you have been handed and do it your own way. If you do things your own way, then it feels better. Always.

Don’s work (art and music) was something (and still is) you could totally lose yourself in. Trout Mask Replica is one of the most enjoyable and strangest records I’ve ever heard. The songs are all over the place. Some may say the work of a mad man. I say it is the exposure of a genius. Safe As Milk is probably my favourite debut record of all time, and one of my favourite records of all time. His music gets you through. Not because you can relate to the lyrics. Half the time, I have no idea what is going on. But because I have no idea what is going on, I just love him even more. You don’t always need to relate. He just made you feel part of the strange, and you felt less strange.

You’ve got to keep people fast away from how weird you are, but keep your weird ways close at hand. Never let anyone tell you that you are wrong for being how you are. You get that vibe from listening to Captain Beefheart. I’m writing this listening to Trout Mask Replica, and I feel as if someone is entirely fucking with my mind. Not in a “someone’s going to get hurt, watch your heart” kind of way. Far from it. I can deal with this, this feels like a weird release. It’s been a long time coming.

Personally, there will never be another like Don. Everything about him was so rare and beautiful. He wasn’t scared to make music that wouldn’t be welcomed by all. He wasn’t afraid to do what he felt was right, you know? His fearless approach and his way of doing so is something that hardly any posses now. He was a rare soul, and one we must never ever forget.

“Don’t make a sound they’re not dead, just sleeping.”

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The intro of a song can either leave you in awe and hold all your attention. Or it can make you think “Well fuck this, I’m going to have a bath instead.” It can leave you wanting more or leave you never wanting to hear anything ever again. My attention span is getting worse. As I get older, I find my interests decreasing. All I used to enjoy I probably now dislike. Maybe I’m just really difficult. It’s alright; I annoy myself on a daily basis.

There are some intros to songs that just blow you mine. It’s not really something I gave much thought to until recently where it became intense and a brief obsession. I’d play some songs, but it’d only be the first 30 seconds or so, then I’d listen to something else. It’s impossible for anyone to say what THE greatest intro to a song of all time is. Everyone has an opinion. The ones I’m going to put here may be ones most would think, “The fuck is she thinking.” This is the only place where I have an opinion. I’ve learnt people don’t like it when you say what you think. So I think, and don’t really speak. I don’t say much because I don’t have much to say, and believe anything I say is not really interesting. Why speak if you know this about yourself? I know I sound like a morbid twat, but whatever. We don’t know each other.

The start of something, anything- it doesn’t have to be a song, is usually a wonderful thing. You make it beautiful because you want it to last. It doesn’t last. With a song you can just hit repeat and create different moments every single time. You can throw yourself back in time, or you can make do with your current surroundings. It is all up to you. A song can carry you and control you- but in a pleasurable way. Anything else can sometimes just be a huge burden.

My favourite intro to any song ever has to be Elephant by Warpaint. I remember when I first heard it. I felt as if something incredible had happened. I felt everything turn and change inside of me. I felt a hint of being alive. Everytime I feel as if I’m dragging myself through because I cannot move, I play this song. As soon as Emily’s voice comes in, I feel as if every part of me has been saved. As if it has been saved for a reason. Most of the time, I believe there is no reason. This song however, gives me some kind of faith. A bit of hope. Courage is a different matter. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t sway like Jenny Lee Lindberg when they listen to Warpaint. You cannot help but move your body around in a trance-like way. You feel every note. You feel every single part of the song. My love for Warpaint is unconditional and intense. I just don’t think any other band can rule my soul as much as they do. The Kills have my heart, Warpaint have my soul and The Jesus And Mary Chain have my mind.

An intro to a song can stop you from doing what you were doing. You pause, and you feel yourself fall under the spell of the song. My favourites are the kind that just build and build. The bands I listen to and love are those who create an atmosphere that at times is quite dark, but give you something to cling onto. They conjure up feelings you never thought you could ever have. Sometimes intense, but for the most part it is the most euphoric state you could ever be in.

So, I’ve basically rambled enough. I could EASILY write more words, but obviously the music speaks for itself.

These are my favourite intros ever. I’ll probably think of more, and I’ll probably want to change my mind. Typical!

Ali Koehler-Not Like Me.

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Growing up is a drag. I’m 25 and I know I have more growing up to do, and I hate it. I don’t want to be this, I don’t want to be that. But sometimes you are fortunate enough to hear a song that eases the pains of growing up you know?

Ali Koehler is one of the best drummers around. Her, Stella from Warpaint and Sandy from Dum Dum Girls are my favourite drummers. Ech plays with utter heart and passion. Ali also makes music that just oozes the same passion and heart.

Not Like Me is self-deprecating, and as someone who believes it is better for me to be cruel about myself before someone else gets there first; I am in love with this song, and I can relate a lot to the lyrics.

It’s the kind of song I want to play to my nephew and tell him to not be a sensitive mess like his Auntie when he grows up you know? If I can stop someone from having the same traits as me, then I’ve done something well. Maybe? I’m not sure.

Not Like Me is only a minute and a half long. Despite this, it is a truly beautiful song. I love the way Ali has written something so delicate and vulnerable. It honestly makes you want to take her out for a beer and tell her she’s fucking wonderful. We all need that sometimes. I’m probably going to call this as one of my favourite things to have happened this year.

Sure the general topic of the song may be slightly dark, but we need it. It is important to have that balance. Not Like Me is fragile and pure. I cannot praise it enough. It is so honest and open. If you cannot relate, you have no heart. Don’t be scared.

You can listen to it here : http://artishardrecords.bandcamp.com/track/not-like-me

“It’s not worth saving, when you say wait.”

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Longing VS wanting. Innocence VS not really knowing. Caring VS not caring. Life VS death. Love VS stupidty. In the long run, it is probably all the same thing. You wish to burn out what you see in your mind. You wish you could see certain things forever. You wish you did one thing differently, at one point. You wish you were more eloquent with your words. You wish you wrote THAT song so you could play them it; so they get it. Will they ever get it? Does anyone ever really understand? Are we just killing time by explaining. These are the thoughts I am not paid to write down. I’ve never been paid for this. I don’t expect to. They want you to be like them. Dress like that, talk like this. Walk as if you don’t care, behave like an obnoxious fool. Keep me indoors please.

You slip away from reality sometimes. You lose tough. With yourself and others. Maybe you only talk to 2 or 3 people everyday. But they are the ones that you love so much. Maybe one of them you love more than most, because this person owns your heart. This person is on your mind, constantly. Or maybe it just isn’t like that. Maybe you have no idea. Sometimes you think you cannot get lower or higher than your current state. I don’t think this makes sense, because I don’t want it to.

As you get older you learn to cast away your wants, your needs and your desires. You learn that none of it matters. You see everything around you become so typical and bland. You notice you have no plans. You don’t want what they want. You don’t want a 9-5 lifestyle where you do the same thing every day. You still want freedom burning inside of you. The only burning they have is heart-burn. They are typical, and you cannot relate. You know of no one else who feels the same. You think you are wrong, for about 5 minutes. Then you realise that being different is not a bad thing. It is never a bad thing. They may mock your thoughts and how you view the world. But it gets you through.

Trust your heart- not theirs. If you must, spit blood upon those who tell you that you are wrong.

Nothing and no one is worth the torment.

It’s like I am teaching myself all the things I wish I knew sooner. But I just can’t listen to myself.

Mammal Hum.

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I honestly have no idea what I’m listening to. All I know is that it is utterly bizarre and bloody good. Thing is, most things that are bit mental and strange are usually the best. No good has ever come from being like everyone else or being a dull so and so. When you act like everyone else you hate yourself because you’re not staying true to yourself.

I’m fairly confident I love Mammal Hum because they’re a really good Northern band. They’re also on Mollusc Records; a label that I fully back. They put out some stunning music, and you should go listen to it all. ALL of it.

So, Mammal Hum are from Hull. There’s four of them; and they make a lot of noise. Not the kind of noise you’ll turn off, but the kind that lures you in. Creeps up slowly, gets louder and louder. Before you know it, you’ve found your new favourite band.

Some of their songs are like euphoric chants and some of their songs are like a swaying lullaby. Think Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeroes goes on a camping trip to the North of England..and this happens. Their music is utterly beautiful. With a few insane moments. You cannot ever have one without the others (this appeals to most things in life.)

What I love is that you can hear the influence of each member in their music. You know about my love for Warpaint don’t you? I love them because you hear crazy layers and you can hear the input of each member. This is why I’ve got a lot of love for Mammal Hum. There’s a HUGE community feel to their music. You know they are in their own world when they play, but you also feel part of it. There aren’t many bands that manage to do this nowadays. You sometimes feel partially segregated, but when you find a band that make you feel part of it all and make you come alive; that’s when you know you have found something truly of worth.

Initially this was meant to be a review but I am honestly useless at writing reviews for my own site. If it’s for someone else I’m okay. So I’ve basically turned this into a declaration of my love for Mammal Hum.

They have a folk feel (but not in that annoying Mumford & Sons/Laura Marling way) and they also take you on some psychedelic trip. You feel totally lucid and as if you have no control over your limbs and mind. Sometimes that’s bloody good thing.

Mammal Hum have a record coming out, What’s Behind Us Is Not Important out on 17th September via Mollusc Records. You should buy it.

You can find out more about the band, and the other artists on the label at : http://www.molluscrecords.co.uk/

Mammal Hunt take you back in time and throw you fast into the future. They mess with your head, and you cannot help but enjoy every second of it.