“No longing for the moonlight, no longing for the sun. No longer will I curse the bad I’ve done.”

8 08 2012

If you feel like you belong in this world, that you were born at the right time then you are so lucky. If you don’t feel empty when you see what your generation are into, then you are lucky. If you can relate, then man..how do you do it? Reality shows are fake and pointless. Books are being turned into devices. Record stores are closing. And I don’t understand why people use Instagram. Why do people take photos of their food? If I wanted to know what you ate, I probably would’ve asked if you wanted to go for dinner. I don’t get it. I don’t hate everything around me; far from it. I just don’t really hold much hope, love or like even towards modern life. I hate that I was born when I was, and grew up to see cultures turn cold and reliant on things that can break instantly.

Some bands are hell-bent on recreating a sound that was done in the 70s/80s. Some do it really well without making it obvious. However some just look silly. It’s like that time everyone thought neon paint and “bringing back” the 80s was a good idea. I guess current times are so shit, we must stay in the past. Again, I don’t get it.

I don’t really understand people who claim to only listen to music that isn’t current you know? Do you have ANY idea what you’re missing out on? From 2:54 to Crocodiles to King Dude to Warpaint and all in-between. There’s so much good music that you’re missing out on. I know, I know we will never have an album as powerful as Psychocandy or as creepy as Seventeen Seconds or as wonderful as Viva Hate. It’s okay. Trust me, it’s alright.

But modern life (aside from some music) is a drag. It’s a chore to get up and carry on, I know. I fully understand. If I didn’t force myself to go to the gym every morning I’d probably stay in my room and not go out. Not because modern life is toss, but for many other reasons. You have to force yourself to carry on and do what you can. You just have to. The alternative isn’t exactly something that appeals.

You twist, you turn. You fight with yourself, you fight with anyone who will listen. You declare you’re not good enough. You know why? Because your surroundings make you believe that you’re worth nothing. Thing is, we’re all worth something. Maybe not to ourselves but to one person for sure. I know I should pay attention to what I write; but I just can’t. I don’t think I could ever fully believe in myself and not carry some self-doubt you know. I just think, if I ever thought I was good at something I would never do it again. If I thought I was a decent Music Writer, I’d stop. I’m not looking for a pat on the back or for someone to say I’m any good. Far from it. This is my venting my frustrations at life and how we are becoming more numb to all we see, and all we are. People are caring less and less. My problem is that I probably care too much. I don’t care what people think about me because 1 or 2 people truly know me. As you get older, you realise what matters. You slowly see that people are as cruel as school kids in the playground. They will stab you in the back, and through the heart too. Whilst trying to fuck with your mind. People aren’t as loving as they once were.

Where I live everyone looks the same. I try not to look up when I leave the house. If I look up and around, my self-hate will go through the roof. Eye contact just doesn’t happen. The pavement is my friend. The cracks are the tales of fury. They cracked because they couldn’t take it anymore. I fully understand.

I hate where I am, and the harder I try to get out; the further I am knocked back.

So I play music as loud as I can in my ears. Just to drown out everything, and everyone. It’s working. I’ll get out, even if I have to fucking crawl.

I’m using music to drag me through.





Night Sins.

7 08 2012

“Like a fuck in the evening for a bit of a thrill, an entire life of time to kill.”

Here’s a thought, if you could never feel bad again would you enjoy it? Some people enjoy misery, I don’t understand them at all. I only understand what I throw myself into, which isn’t much. I think having a constant sense of, “the fuck is going on” is healthy. I think if I had some kind of organisation in my life, I’d be a hazard to myself. If I knew what I was doing, I’d hate it. I hate routine. The only thing I do that is remotely a routine is the 2 and a half hours I spend at the gym every morning (Tired of being a fat fuck you see, only I can change it. It also helps the mind.) I don’t like order. I never have, and I probably never will. I hate making plans. If you want me to be somewhere, drag me there. Don’t give me a time or a warning in advance; I’ll forget. Not because my thoughts are everywhere but because my attention span is truly awful. However, I can sit perfectly still for hours and read a book. Something isn’t right. Or maybe nothing is wrong. Who knows.

Well fuck all that. Music. Are you ready for something gloomy? No? Why are you reading this then? Alright.

Do you like Cold Cave? Man..if you do, we should be friends you know. I fucking love Cold Cave. Wes Eisold has been a hero of mine since American Nightmare, but you already knew that. You’d know that if you read the nonsense I write, not if you stand outside my bedroom door and hear the music I play. Imagine if that was a way of winning someone over. If they loved your music taste, or read the words you wrote and just fell in love. I live in hope, but the realist in me knows this is stupid and will never happen. I’d panic anyway. I say panic, but I’d just turn my music up louder.

Night Sins. Brilliant name for a band. Guess we all do bad stuff at night. I’m capable of being a dumb fuck day or night, so it doesn’t mean as much. I feel sorry for my close friends. Night Sins make music that’ll terrify you but their words will grip you much like Cold Cave do. I’m not saying they are the same;far from it. The only comparison I can make is that well, I just love both a hell of a lot. You know how it is.

I just want to really talk about how incredible they are. I’m not paid to give my opinion so I always praise. However, if I was ever paid to do this; I’d still be positive. If there’s one thing I hate it is Music Journalists that seem to praise a band then hate them a week later. They don’t check their facts, and they make weird shit up. Come on now, stop being lazy. I don’t get it at all. I really don’t. I’d say I want to punch them, but I’m not violent in the slightest. I keep my rage inside, best way. Fuck it.

So Night Sins are pretty damn good, as you can tell. They have this atmosphere of the likes of Bauhaus, Sisters Of Mercy, The Cure (Seventeen Seconds era) but have a haunting vibe that’s in the likes of Cold Cave, Pop.1280, The Men- so I guess it is pretty obvious that they are a band I was destined to find and fall in love with.

They make music that you listen to at 3am when you feel your soul wither away; you want to scream it out. But you don’t, you let yourself fall apart in order for this band to fix you in a way you didn’t think a band could heal you. They come from Philly and there’s 5 of them ( Kyle, Drew, Michael, Elena and Chris.) Each member will mesmorise you and start-up a fury right inside of you. They get right to the core of your feelings, drag them out and expose you. Expose every truth and you cannot hide behind the lies no more. Open up man, open up.

Night Sins are easily one of the best bands I’ve heard all year. I’ve exposed my ears to some brilliant stuff this year, and I can say with confidence that Night Sins have made a grumpy English fool quite happy.

Check them out here : http://ddlvng.bandcamp.com/

 

*Just so you know, I could happily have written a few thousand words on my love for these guys but I’ve kept it short and to the point..well, I tried. I just love them a lot and I wish them all the success possible because they truly deserve it. A fantastic band that play with passion and heart. Much needed right now.