Author Archives: Olivia

Cat Sized Panda-We Will See You Now.

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Remember, remember the 12th November- as it is my birthday. It is also Charles Manson’s birthday. On a happier note, it is the day Cat Sized Panda’s record We Will See You Now comes out. You should buy it. I’m useless trying to sell anything to anyone. This would happen, Me: “Do you want to buy this?” Person: “No.” Me : “Alright then, as you were. I probably wouldn’t either. I’d shop elsewhere.” However, I am not like that when it comes to music. If I could poke and prod you (easy now) to make you buy Cat Sized Panda’s record, I would. Instead I am just going to tell you about it and hopefully you may listen to me (I know, I know) and invest in We Will See You Now.

I first wrote about CSP in June I think?! I was amazed at what I was hearing. You see, although I love music that is dark and full of strange and wonderful lyrics; I have a massive place in my heart reserved for the likes of Burial. I have no idea what genre he’s classed as, and to be honest- I don’t want to know. I hate defining music by genre. Music is an expression, it is a form of freedom therefore we shouldn’t define it. With CSP, you have to listen to him as you would listen to Burial. Night time. On a bus, or in your room. Alone or with scattered strangers. Darkness or flickering street lights. CSP makes the kind of music that makes you create a different life in your head.

As there are no lyrics, you are able to create stories in your head and the music is the soundtrack. Maybe this is just me, but I find this the perfect way to listen to CSP. He gives you free reign with his own creativity. I know lyrics are a big deal for me, but music like this is equally as beautiful. Like most situations in life; you don’t always need words. You can quote Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode for the full effect..

The Universe Stops When You Smile is EASILY my favourite on the record. The title alone was enough for me to know I’d fall in love with it. This isn’t a record where you fall in love with a person. No. This is a record that makes you create beautiful moments in your mind that you can fall in love with. The record just oozes purity, atmosphere and positive energy. To find any fault in it, well, you must be out of your mind.

I get annoyed slightly when people call their music “experimental” when all they’ve done is use a different guitar or something silly. They ignore the true essence of the meaning, making it redundant. CSP is a true experimental artist. He’s a rare one, and that alone makes you treasure his music even more. I usually write about records as I listen to them, sometimes skipping back to songs because certain parts blow my mind. I listened to We Will See You Now in full before I wrote anything down because this is the kind of music that requires ALL of your devotion, time and attention. You cannot have it on in the background, you cannot multi-task whilst listening to it. You truly have to devote yourself to listening to this record.

Most people are out getting vile and drunk on a Saturday night. I’m sat drinking tea and writing about one of the most ethereal and stunning records of the year.

I could quite happily sit here and write a thousand more words about how wonderful CSP and this record is, but you simply must buy this record on 12th November. This year has been pretty damn good for music, CSP is easily one of those reasons why.

“We can all be free, maybe not in words. Maybe not with a look. But with your mind.”

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The connection you feel to a piece of music, or even a band has the power to be the most powerful connection you will ever know. That moment when you are alone and all you have is a song; that’s when it all takes over. You slip away from reality and fall into the unknown. Crawling out of it isn’t exactly what you want. And you place every desire on hold for a specific moment. These moments mean more to you than you have ever known. Have you ever truly known anything? Everything others give you has the potential to give you an aching heart and a swine of a headache. Push it aside, they’ll say you’re wrong. Deal with it, and they will still say you’re wrong. Ignore the fools. That pat on the back that crave had better come from you and nobody else. As they will not mean it; but you will. You truly will, because you will know you deserve it. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Time is precious, so they say. So is patience and your own feelings. A lot of things are delicate but we seem to no longer handle with care. We are disposable with others, and it is frightening how cruel everyone is to each other.

Connection is important. You don’t have to feel like you belong, but you can help by making others feel welcome. Open your heart up for the right ones. The second someone holds what you say to them against you; walk away. Fast. Or run if you want. Just leave them alone. Bad people, bad vibes. You don’t need that. Find it in a song, find the trait you desire and move on. I have no idea where this is coming from. But it’s okay, because it isn’t something one should read. It is simply something one had to write down. I use “one” in the least upper-class way possible, I just didn’t want to use another word. And I like the word “one.” It stands for a lot, and can mean a lot. Even if it is a singular.

We can be alone in heart and mind. Yet, we can be free in heart and mind. Body also.

Find that connection.

“I’m the fury in your head, I’m the fury in your bed. I’m the ghost in the back of your head.”

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I was walking home from my morning ritual of slowly killing myself at the gym (it needs to pay off one day) and it began to rain. I already looked a mess, so what harm would a bit of rain do?

Everything in that moment seemed alright. Maybe it was the songs I listened to. Or maybe I knew I was going home, and I was going to nap. Sure it was a really shit nap, but I was going to be asleep. I like being asleep because I’m no trouble to anyone. I’ve gone back 10 years, I feel 15 again. It’ll pass. It must do.

Everything positive has something negative. Everything negative has something positive. Everything seems to be balanced, but you always find yourself leaning towards one side. Or maybe you are being pulled towards a side you cannot stand. Yet you must go there. Rock bottom is a lesson for us all. Does it exist? Is it just an idle threat to make us feel worse than we already do? You always think you’ve hit your lowest point, you think you cannot get any lower. Like things cannot get worse, but can they? They get better. They also can get worse. See, it is all balanced out.

So you close your eyes around 2am hoping sleep comes. It comes eventually. When you sleep, do you dream? Do you doubt yourself in dreams too? You don’t always get what you want- dreaming or awake. I hate that I function better when I am tired. When I am tired, certain things make more sense. When I’m awake, I think I usually want to sleep and watch Disney films.

Sometimes we make ourselves out to be awful. Maybe it is from past abandonment, maybe we’re not sure of ourselves, maybe we’re not truly awful. We’ve all got our faults, we shouldn’t let them rule us.

As I’m not one for ever listening to myself, have some songs that made dragging myself home in the rain a lot less awful.

Dum Dum Girls-End Of Daze (EP.)

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“I get so frightened. No one else seems frightened, only me.”

I have typed this over and over, hoping I could start it and go into something that makes sense. It didn’t work, so I downed some Jameson whiskey and I feel human again. Before I really get into this, if you aren’t aware of my love/admiration/respect for Dum Dum Girls then you may not understand anything I am about to write. Thing is, I don’t understand half of what I write. Out of sheer love for Dee Dee, Sandy, Jules and Malia- I am going to do my best get this to make sense. I make no promises.

There are so many things right about this EP. I have one problem- it’s an EP, not a full record. I want more and more. That’s just me being a greedy fan. I’ve got past that though, I can fully see how much we need End Of Daze, as an EP- not a record.

My love for Dum Dum Girls started a few years ago. Catholicked was the song I heard. “These sins are my own.” I heard that line and knew immediately I had found a band that would just mean more to me than anything else. Songs such as Rest Of Our Lives to Coming Down mean more to me than I can put into words. I stand by that their cover of Oh Those Eyes by The Vagrants is the best cover ever. I’m meddling in the past here aren’t I. I should tell you about End Of Daze.

You’ve heard Lord Knows already, right? Waiting for the video? Me too, but it will be worth the wait. Anything DDG do has always proven to be worth the wait. When a band can grip your attention and leave you always wanting more- that’s when you know you have found a band that are going to be your lifeline. What I adore about End Of Daze, is that from the very start you know it is going to be one of the most pure and beautiful things you will hear all year. I said before I heard it that End Of Daze would be the best EP of the year. Now, I am rarely right- but I am right with this. I can just feel it.

I cannot help but listen to the EP with a massive smile on my face. I don’t want to be THAT person, but a couple of months ago I put on Twitter something like “Wouldn’t it be cool if Dum Dum Girls covered Just Like Honey.” Dee Dee asked me to email her..who has their VERY own cover of Just Like Honey? I DO. I could reel off my favourite things that have happened this year, and that would be my number 1, for sure. It is something that I cannot put into words. Honestly one of the best and beautiful things anyone has ever done..I’ll never understand why Dee Dee did it, but I’m forever grateful.

The EP opens with Mine Tonight. If you’re like me and you pay very close attention to lyrics, you will probably see yourself in the lyrics. This pretty much goes for every song on the EP. There’s hurt, pain, death, love and loss surrounding End Of Daze. Yet the last track on the EP, Season In Hell feels like Dee Dee is telling you everything bad that has gone on, all those ugly feelings you posses so well- let it go, let it all go. It is over. End Of Daze feels like a healing process and is vulnerable. It is truly perfect and a joy to listen to.

Trees And Flowers is a stunning cover. I’m talking, “stops you in your tracks” kind of stunning you know? The lyrics seem much more  frail and open when Dee Dee sings them. For those who feel like their mind is a prison, you may enjoy this one more than most. I get it, I truly do. We all find our own way out in the end. It is okay to be scared. I guess you’re never alone, even if you feel like you are.

Something I truly adore about Dee Dee is how honest she is with her lyrics. When your art is your life, you can’t afford to be someone else can you? Sure a good writer puts themselves in other people’s shoes. But to allow yourself to be so open and exposed- that takes guts, heart and strength. A trait that I fully support, and wish more did.

One of my favourite lines from the whole EP comes from Season In Hell, “A confession’s not a cure. There’s always darkness to endure, on a path to be redeemed.” You truly pick up life lessons from a Dum Dum Girls song, End Of Daze is full of them.

I could quite happily sit here and right a thousand more words as to why I think it is the most beautiful thing I have heard all year. However, you can stream it here, a week before it is released : http://stereogum.com/1154362/stream-dum-dum-girls-end-of-daze-ep-stereogum-premiere/album-stream/

It is dark, it is comforting, it is pure and it is accurate. It is everything you want from a band that you love and more. I knew my mind was going to be blown, I just didn’t expect it to be as wonderful as this. Dee Dee, Sandy, Malia, Jules- Thank you xx

The Kills-Wild Charms (video.)

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“How it stirs me, how it stirs me now. To think my fire burnt them out.”

For the past 1o years, The Kills have been more than a band to myself and so many others. I believe that they make music that makes you fall in love with them instantly. They’re not a band you play once and forget about. They’re a band you listen to once, and your mind is well and truly blown. You listen to them, and everything changes around you. You see things differently. You probably see things more clearly. They invite you into their world that is so passionate and brutal and raw. Above all, it is honest. It is a world that makes you feel as if you belong. Be an outsider, struggle for what you believe in. Fight for your art. Be bold, be passionate, be everything those fucks you know said that you couldn’t.

I remember the first time I heard The Kills, I was only 15/16. My uncle and I bonded years before over a love for the Velvet Underground and The Jesus And Mary Chain. It’s a bond that I treasure, and learn from. He handed me a magazine article about The Kills. I read it, and instantly did all I could to listen to their music. Their debut record, Keep On Your Mean Side corrupted my mind in the most pleasurable way and moved my soul in a way no one and nothing else ever will. I don’t just love their music, their videos- I love the way they are with each other in interviews and on stage. They have a beautiful chemistry that I think we all wish we had.

Wild Charms is directed by their good friend, Kenneth Cappello who also took the photos over the past 10 years in their book Dream And Drive. Wild Charms is one of my favourites off Blood Pressures. Jamie’s voice is just so pure; much like the lyrics. It is a delicate ode to love. The video is wonderfully shot. The Kills do make music videos or just songs- they make works of art. Works of art that leave you in awe.

Cat Power-Cherokee (video.)

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“Feels like time is on my time. Bury me upside down.”

Chan Marshall isn’t just a singer. The woman is a beautiful voice who makes art that just, well, it is good for the soul. She pours out every emotion you’re probably afraid to feel. She exposes vulnerability in a way that you wish you could. I remember hearing Metal Heart (original version) and just sobbing. I sobbed as if someone had told me someone I loved had died. My heart broke, but pieces were mended because finally- someone got it. Finally someone was unleashing all these ugly feelings for me. Her music isn’t something you play in the background, it is something you feel. You truly connect with her. She breaks your heart and makes you believe in every single word. Much like Billie Holiday, Janis Joplin, Patti Smith. She is on that level.

Her new record, Sun is on a par with You Are Free. You Are Free is my favourite record by her. The artwork alone is just stunning. The video to Cherokee is nothing short of wonderful, and was directed by Cat. I hope this brings her new fans who truly appreciate the genius and beauty that is, Cat Power.

Happy 29th Birthday AJW.

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“Mr Destiny 9 and 14….”

Some things, no matter how often you are faced with them. No matter how much time passes, no matter how often you talk about it or hear about it; it just doesn’t seem right. It feels like your heart broke over someone you never even met or knew, and you feel silly for feeling so sad. You’ve cried over the death of a person who you never met, and you don’t understand what kind of person you are. Are you silly or just in touch with your feelings? There’s no right or wrong. There’s no shame in feeling, ever.

You remember certain moments. Certain dates stick in your mind. Music does more than what we think it does. It heals, it hurts, it brings smiles, it causes tears. It is everything, and more. How do you go on without it? How do you go on when the one who told your story, and so many others, is no longer around? Maybe you learn to adjust to it, but that piece of your heart that broke; maybe it doesn’t heal.

Today, 14th September 2012, would have been Amy Winehouse’s 29th birthday. Some things just do not seem real. Regardless of how many times you read about it or hear others mention it. No part of you can get your head around any of this. So senseless and too much to take in.

The other day, for the first time since Amy died I tried to listen to her music. I got about 10 seconds in, and hearing her voice was too much to deal with. I turned it off. I hate that this is how it is now. I hate it. Maybe one day I’ll stop being such a wuss and get a grip. Until then, I will constantly believe that she should still be here. I could write thousands of words about all of this, but it has been said so many times before.

With all I have, I do hope that Amy is at peace and at ease. I hope she has healed and is safe.

Happy Birthday, Amy. You are dearly missed.

xx

September Girls.

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Despite me looking like on of life’s most miserable buggers; it doesn’t take much to make me happy. Well, when it comes to music it may take a bit more because I’m really fussy. I’m only fussy because I am intensely passionate about it. You know how with some people, when they talk about what they’re passionate about and every single part of them lights up? That’s what music does to me. I get stupidly excited when I go to markets and find old 7″ singles of songs I never thought I could find. I sometimes can’t sleep the night before a record I’ve been waiting for is released because I want it in my hands. When I go to a gig, that’s when every single part of me comes alive. Music is everything to me. Someone once asked me, “Could you love a person as much as you love music?” I used to think I couldn’t, but I know I could. I can. I do.

I honestly don’t know much about bands from Ireland. Aside from The Undertones; that’s it. That’s as far as my knowledge goes. I’m sorry if this makes me small-minded. But you know most of my love is for New York and LA based bands. Obviously I know there is amazing music everywhere. I think most can agree that Sweden is responsible for some amazing bands right now. And of course the UK has some wonderful bands. But today, I’m going to write about a band that with first listen filled my ears with sheer joy and nostalgia. If you can do this, then I will regard you as perfect.

September Girls are a 5 piece from Dublin. I’ve been to Dublin, only once. I want to go back again. If anyone wants to take me there again; I’ve got a passport and a suitcase waiting to be packed. I think a nice whiskey trip would go down well. Whiskey talk aside, September Girls remind me of one of my favourite bands ever- Dum Dum Girls. They have managed to take the Wall Of Sound and added the purest sense of Garage Rock and have created something that makes you think, “Are we in the 60s?!” See, I love Dum Dum Girls because of Dee Dee’s delicate voice and their distorted but beautiful sound. September Girls do exactly that.

Their music gives you a true summer feel mixed with winter loneliness. But hey, don’t focus on the loneliness because you can cure that by listening to your favourite song. Or maybe by listening to September Girls. They’re the kind of band that would fit perfectly on the Girls In The Garage compilation (if anyone got me any of these, you’d have a friend in me for life.)

I’m not much of a dancer. Alright sure I have moves, but I only flail my limbs when whiskey has been summoned into my system. However, September Girls make you want to dance as if you are in a 60s girl group. I’m talking well rehearsed synchronised moves with a lot of concentration. Play their music, and conjure up a routine. Show your friends- if they mock you, find yourself a better social group.

The band only formed a year ago, and released a cassette on the amazing Soft Power label. Cassettes are brilliant, they need to be brought back. I used to make mixtapes when I was in secondary school for friends. I’d do my homework and make the tapes at the same time. Obviously the music had more of my attention.

You should head over to the band’s soundcloud page RIGHT NOW and listen to their tracks : http://soundcloud.com/septembergirls

They have haunting organs (instrument wise!) and exquisite guitars. The drums and bass make you want to move around in an insane fashion. It is fair to say that I am utterly in love with this band. I really cannot understand how you couldn’t be.

I know I shouldn’t tell you what to do and such things, but honestly- make sure you listen to them. They’ll blow your mind and move your soul in a way that no other could.

I guess if The Jesus And Mary Chain were female, they’d be September Girls. Takes a lot for me to say that because The Jesus And Mary Chain are my favourite band of all time. They have the same feel to their sound, maybe not as dark. But the general atmosphere is there. This is just a tame outburst of my love for September Girls; pretty sure I have more to offer.

Crocodiles: Rough Trade. The Wait And Beyond.

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“I can piss away my cash, my time I can’t get back.”

My love for Crocodiles is on a par with my love for The Cure, Morrissey and hugs. Since 2009 they’ve been a solid source of comfort, and an outlet for any frustration I may encounter. Last Tuesday they played a free gig at Rough Trade. I extended my trip in England basically so I could see them. During that week some amazing things happened. Seeing Crocodiles and another thing (it’s personal, so shush) was basically my highlight and improved this year.

I don’t want to talk about the free gig, I want to talk about how when you wait for something for so long- that moment when it is finally yours, well no one can take it from you. Nothing can reach you. You feel invincible and as if you can take on the world. The music is your cape, cloak the world with your power.

I’ve already written about how my love for Crocodiles started, and how they dragged me through what I thought at the time-was a really bad patch. Turns out, I’ve gone through worse and I’m still here (sorry to those who hate that.) Their music for me goes beyond anything else. When I saw them last week, I just felt an explosion of being content with everything. I guess I had to because I spent £5 on a Jameson & coke in a bar beforehand and it cost me £5. London, sort out your whiskey prices please. I love you, but this is going to cause tension.

This year, after waiting since 2005 to see them- I saw The Horrors. After waiting 3 years, I finally saw Crocodiles. I guess this year, for all the things I have waited for- they finally happened. Music is pretty much the centre of my tiny universe. It keeps me going. It gives me what I need to carry on. My love for Crocodiles is something I cannot put into words. I chickened out of going up to Brandon and Charles to tell them how much it meant to me to see them. I suppose I didn’t want to seem like some creepy fool. I’m nearly 26, not 14- but I had a bit of fear. I guess when you’ve been in awe of a band for so long, it is a bit daunting. However, they’re not assholes so I guess if I blurted out “YOUR MUSIC KEEPS ME SANE” I’m pretty sure they’d be okay with that. But anyway. Next time. Hopefully.

For me it was hearing All My Hate And My Hexes Are For You and No Black Clouds For Dee Dee that just made me insanely happy. They are two songs right now that mean the world to me. I obviously have a lot of love for I Wanna Kill, and the first verse of that song means more to me than I can get my head around. To see them play to about 30 people (there may have been more, I wasn’t really paying the crowd attention) was just perfect. It may not have been a full set, but I didn’t care. For those 45 minutes or so, I got to see one of my favourite bands ever.

When you wait for something, no matter what it is and you finally have it. Whether it be seeing a band, a record finally coming out, being with that one person who doesn’t make you feel every kind of ugly-anything. When you have that moment, no matter how long or short it is- you cling onto it for the rest of your time here. That moment just stays with you, and when you are alone- it makes the time pass quicker. You remember parts of it, and you carry on; carrying the memory with you.

Music has the power to change everything. To be everything. Last Tuesday, I felt that more than ever. I closed my eyes, sang along and swayed. It was like I was the only person in the room with Crocodiles. Every so often I caught a glimpse of the crowd and didn’t see many people singing, but I say a few sway their bodies. Truly feeling the music in their bones.

If by some strange stroke of luck they see this; Brandon and Charles, thank you. Not just for last Tuesday but for the music. For always, and forever. Thank you is all I’ve got.

Vex Ruffin.

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Noise is good. Noise that comes from the heart is even better. I have no idea what’s going on (I never do) as I had a 3 hour nap, and I’m still tired. I’m a better person when I’m asleep..mainly because I’m no bother. I can’t help but believe knowing me is a pain in the arse. You always find comfort/joy/something in music. Maybe that’s just me, okay maybe it isn’t. Music can be that safety net at 3am when you feel like if anyone looks at you, you will cry. It’s that reassurance that you can get out. It’s the self-belief that you need. It’s the one thing that will never leave you. You watch people fall in and out of your life. You probably do the same. It’s easier to leave everything behind than stay. We all have one person who taught us the art of leaving. But that person is probably alone now; through no fault of their own. You don’t want to be like them. You must never want to be like others, because when you do; you stop being who you really are. And don’t let anyone dictate you on how you should live your life. This all links in with someone.

Vex Ruffin.

Artists like Willis Earl Beal and Dirty Beaches amaze me and leave me in awe because they do things on THEIR terms. You can put the likes of King Dude in their too. They don’t need you or some chubby CEO telling them how to make their music, how they should sound or what they should look like. Every so often we are blessed with artists like this; we can only hope they stick around for a long time because they are the ones making inspiring music where everyone else is prancing about singing about flowers and rainbows. No. No one is ever that happy. To make others relate to you, you must be believable. Vex Ruffin does this. He goes beyond.

Vex makes short lo-fi songs that smash you so pleasurably in the face. There’s an incredible fusion of lo-fi, garage rock and punk in his sound. Basically, he’s perfect. Well to me he is. You don’t need to be some jumped up and over-produced brat in order to make GOOD music. It should come from a place that makes others want to do the same. It should have some kind of empowering vibe that makes you think, “WE WON’T STAND FOR YOUR BULLSHIT NO MORE.” Vex has the passion of the likes of MC5 and the heart of no other. Is it too soon to call him a genius? Well fuck it, he is.

You can probably tell I know nothing about him. I just really dig his music. It’s the kind of music that drags me kicking and screaming through another dull day here. If I was somewhere else, I’d still love it as much as I do. But the frustration I feel about this shithole makes my love for certain bands and singers a lot more intense.

So I think my favourite track right now by Vex has to be Shield For You. I think everyone has one person that, although we feel useless/worthless, there’s one person we just want to look after and love forever. We know we can’t do much, but we could keep them safe. It’s a rare thing to find someone who makes us feel that way, it is important to hold onto it.

Alright so that’s enough of me rambling on about Vex. Go listen to his music. Vex is the truth. The sheer and utter truth. I think anyone who is influenced by Madlib is to be honest.

Oh and you can listen to his new track, Take It right here:  http://soundcloud.com/stonesthrow/vex-ruffin-take-it