Warpaint-Shadows.

My love for Warpaint is one I know that will never die out. Say if they never made another record again; I can still take from Exquisite Corpse and The Fool more than I could ever take from other bands. They had this immediate impact on me, something which I really didn’t think would happen. I only thought it was bands such as The Jesus And Mary Chain, The Cure and The Smiths that could catapult me into some kind of frenzy. However, as usual, I was wrong. The amount I write about Warpaint, well I should probably start my own blog about them or something. I won’t. It all stays here. For now.

For some reason, I feel the need to write about every single song by Warpaint. I think it’s because I just need to pour out everything that their music makes me feel. Their music is like a catharsis- it just cleanses your soul, body and mind in ways nothing else ever has done. When I heard The Fool, I just froze. The world could’ve ended and I wouldn’t have noticed at all. All I could take in was the wonderful and euphoric sounds that were going through my ears and deep- so deep into my soul. Everything I had been waiting for was in that record. There’s a song on The Fool that, well, it just does something. Each song by Warpaint does- but there is always one that you connect to in a way that just totally throws you off. Even when I listen to it now, it still amazes me. It’s almost as if they are singing out my own frustrations and battles in their songs. Especially with this song.

For me, Shadows is like letting everything fall so freely from you. It is like you are handing yourself over to something and accepting this. I associate The Fool with leaving a lot of things behind. Things I thought I needed; but looking back, they weren’t worth it. Things, people- they are a distant memory. You’ve got to go and grow up. The Fool helped me do that more than anything else ever has. I owe a lot to that record. Shadows starts with such a delicate guitar sound that is matched with Theresa’s cautious voice. The lyrics are so vulnerable and bloody hell, you really do relate to them.

“The things you once told me, the thoughts you once gave me. Sound like the wind in my ears that blows out the knots I’ve got in my long brown hair.

The imagery in this verse is so haunting. There comes a time where everything a person has told you just escapes you. It no longer has meaning or worth; you’ve got to leave it and let go. It just sounds like the wind passing through your ears so freely. When the drumming comes in, it sounds so wonderfully angsty over the delicate voice and guitar. It sounds angsty in a “I’ve got to get out and leave you behind” way- not in a “I fucking hate you, get out of my way” vibe. It’s a song, like most of theirs, that you just close your eyes and listen to. It’s just over 4 minutes long, but in those minutes you are transported to a clear state of mind.

Warpaint’s music will ALWAYS make you feel safe and give you the ability to just float on into another universe. It carries you off in such a gentle manner. As I listen to Shadows whilst I write this- it immediately makes me think I am on a bed of water with the blazing sun reflecting its rays onto me and the water. I feel as if I am floating off into something I cannot control. Nort do I want to control it. I’m not someone who seeks to have constant control over anything or anyone. I don’t understand people who do. My ability to let things go is easy, and as I listen to Shadows- it just reinforces how easy it is to do so.

I feel like the shadows I don’t even bother for anymore than that.

The security one feels in this line is just so beautiful. You feel comforted by what Theresa is singing, even if it is heartbreaking to feel like this. You can’t get to Heaven without experiencing Hell.

Warpaint- Majesty.

I remember over a year ago hearing The Fool in full and just being in awe of what I was hearing. Everything in my life stopped for a few hours, as I played the record over and over again. I felt I had found something that had been missing for so long. I found something in Warpaint that I could’ve easily drove myself insane trying to find. What I found was a state of mind, a general being that I was finally content with. I was content with myself and all I was. Warpaint’s music, from the very first time I heard them (by accident in 2009) just caused something to click. Every single song by them owns a part of me. Whether it is the devotion that pours out in Billie Holiday or the euphoric journey one experiences whilst listening to Lissie’s Heart Murmur. Their music is just solid. It is so pure and honest. I will never find this in another band; I’ve found all I’ve been looking for in Warpaint.

The song Majesty is a song I use to shrug off all the things that maybe should’ve happened; but didn’t. It’s the song that makes letting go incredibly easy. I’ve found it gets easier as I get older. I no longer feel the need to be attached to a thing or person. I no longer feel I need to be part of something in order to validate my existence. When I listen to Majesty, I realise a lot of things. You see, Warpaint are a personal band for me. When I write about them or talk about them- I cannot remove myself from it. My all goes into it- they mean that much to me. I cannot put it into one simple sentence; my love for this band goes beyond anything I have ever felt for a band. I guess it’s because since being a fan- I’ve grown up a lot; and their music has been one of the few things I have used in order to sort myself out in any way possible.

When I listen to Majesty, I think of things and people I had foolishly wasted my time on. We all do it. I will never deny my mistakes if a person is so stupid to bring them up. I will say it was an error- and leave it alone. Majesty makes me feel at ease with anything bad I have felt or had to force myself to go through. Music can make you get through something or it can constantly make you feel lke a victim because you wallow; listening to the songs that make you cry and fester in your own self indulgent state. The latter is something I cannot identify with; nor do I understand how a person can do that. However, each to their own I guess.

The opening verse to Majesty is so frail and heartbreaking, you feel the words that Theresa Wayman sings. You really feel it in your gut. It goes right to the very core of you. You listen to this song, and you think of those who have used you in a way that bruised you, but you ploughed on through- because you adored them. As you listen to the song; everything you felt- all that adoration just leaves you.

“When I held your hand, when I held your hand,
When I helped you, when I held your hand,
You still went the other way and you wanted me to stay,
With my arms stretching away, with my arms stretching away.
I couldn’t stand that sight ’cause I adored your face.
I adored your face.”

Their face is too much to take in, as is them attempting to make you stick around when really; you’ve already gone. You’ve left it all behind. You stretch yourself so thin in order to stick around; but it just no longer isn’t enough. You escape in every single way possible. Warpaint’s music makes you escape your mundane life in ways no other has ever made you feel. All of these thoughts came rushing to me as I was on the bus home from work this evening. This obscure piece of writing I attempting to make sense of, all came from a half hour bus journey.

The build up in Majesty is just like all of Warpaint’s songs. It makes you feel as if your body is being lifted higher and higher until you feel weightless and free. Until everything around you seems so small. Until you are so far removed from your surroundings. You escape in the most beautiful way imaginable. The way Theresa sings, “You could’ve been my King.” makes you think, you really would’ve treated that person so well- but they fucked up didn’t they. All the longing has been replaced with realising you didn’t miss out; they did. They missed out.

The realisation of that it wouldn’t work out the way you wanted (I’m not talking about relationships in a romantic sense here by the way) comes right at the end of the song. This isn’t a sullen song, it is a beautiful piece of art that just summarises the feelings we experience but are possibly too scared to face up to. Courage my friend, courage, can be found in a song or the shadow of a stranger. It is there. It’s always there just waiting for you to embrace it. Just do it when you are ready.

“When it all comes back, when it all falls into place,
Could it be that I don’t want it anyway?
Could it be as sad as that?
There was a day we used to laugh and I wanted you by my side.”

You didn’t want it anyway; it just wasn’t right. You can always right your wrongs. So long as you believe it to be right; then it is. Just be true to yourself and forget what anyone else may think or say. You know you’re own heart and mind. If you’re seeking for some truth; just listen to Warpaint. This band always amaze me with every single listen. I can listen to any song by them and find something else to love. A different layer  in the music appears for me to fall in love with. If it wasn’t for Warpaint; my self awareness would be piss poor. If it wasn’t for Warpaint, well..I don’t want to think about that. I’m just beyond grateful that a band like them exist.

 

“I know it is wrong, but we just don’t belong.”

Have you ever felt, although you are surrounded by people you know- and these people may or may not care about you, that you just do not belong? Do you have a place you feel happy and secure with calling “home”? Do you ever look at Society and just think you were born in the wrong era?  That your emotional attachment to it all is slowly fading. If so, I understand fully how you feel.

I’ve wandered through life not feeling part of anything. I’ve never made it my goal to make a difference in a person’s life- mainly because I know I never have, and I probably never will. I don’t mean it in a self-hating kind of way- far from it. You can feel you don’t belong but still maintain an ounce of self-worth. I feel like that most days. Anyway, I don’t need to go in depth with all of this. These are the songs that have stopped me from feeling like I have to be part of something, that I have to belong. We don’t have to. Create your own world.

Leaving is good for the soul.

Sometimes you get stuck in a place that you think you cannot get out of. Whether it is a state of mind or an actual place, sometimes it has this disgusting grip on you- and you just cannot escape. I guess that’s why music is one of the best ways to express how one feels. It says the things you cannot say. It says the things you wish you could say. The lyrics, the note changes, every major and minor detail in a piece of music can just sum up any and every feeling you carry around with you on a daily basis.

I live in a place I really cannot stand. I’ve got the guts to leave. I’m leaving on Friday. I’ve been trying to do it for some time now, but now I have a reason. Things did improve in September, but I guess….you just have to do what works for you and what makes you happy. You see, I’m moving back to my mum’s. For a while I was reluctant to do it because I thought I’d be a failure. I’m not. I’m doing something for ME. Something I rarely do. I spent too long thinking about others and what they wanted, I forgot about myself. So, I’m moving home for a bit. Save money from my job and after that, I have no idea. I don’t know where I will go. I’ve got some ideas- but I don’t know. I don’t like planning things. So, with this week’s mix I’m putting songs that can help you escape the dullness and chore of everyday life. Songs to lose yourself in and make you realise what you want- and how you are going to get it.

Don’t ever think you are not worthy of putting yourself first, because you are. You are worth more than you know. It’s totally okay to be happy and to be yourself first. I guess hitting 25 the other week has had a positive impact. Grow up and get out.

Warpaint-Elephants.

A song should always, well, most of the time makes you feel like you are having some crazy outer body experience. It should make you feel so fucking alive, that nothing or no one can bring you down from the high it gives you. This is how I always feel when I listen to Warpaint. It all started with a track off their EP, Exquisite Corpse a few years ago.

When I first heard Elephants I felt like I was in some kind of trance. The intro just made me zone out, I still get like that now when I listen to it. If I’m listening to Warpaint and you want my attention- you’ve got a serious battle on your hands. I’m like that with a lot of bands, but Warpaint is one of the main ones. Their music just does something that, although I struggle so badly to put it into words- I still feel the need to try though.

The guitars on this track just sums up how haunting and magnetic Warpaint’s music is. The intro just launches you into a frenzy. You can lose your mind to this, or you can find a part of you in it. The latter is apt for me. Their music goes beyond being an emotional crutch for me. It’s more than my life. I guess it’s because I’ve sat down with them and talked to them about their music, it just makes it mean even more to me. For so long I’ve been wanting a band to move me in a way that just leaves me speechless but at the same time just makes me feel so bloody alive. That’s exactly what I get from Warpaint.

As soon as Emily sings the line, “I’ll break your heart. To keep you far from where all danger starts….” It just makes me glad I’m not deaf or dead. It is so peaceful, then it really kicks in and smacks you right between the eyes. It wraps itself around your heart. Every chord and every word that is sung is etched upon your heart. It stays with you. You’ll remember the first time you heard it. It just stays with you. The way everything comes together in this song is just mind-blowing.

What I love about Warpaint is that they don’t have to use pretentious wordplay in order to reach your soul. They don’t have to act all mean and moody to be heard. They are so relaxed and you can really feel that they love what they are doing.

Elephants just has this ridiculous grip on you. It’s like you become so enthralled by eveyrthing that is going on. Personally, I find Emily’s voice to be extremely hypnotising on this track. Most would probably throw their limbs about to this and jump around like a loon. Power to you and all that. For me, it just makes me zone out. Their music does that to me, and I’m not sure why. I don’t question it, because if I did- I don’t think I’d be this much in love with their music. The breakdown with Jenny’s bass ALWAYS makes me wish I could play bass. Fuck it though, Warpaint make me wish I could play an instrument. I can’t though. When Emily sings, “I know that you’re not here. I’m wondering where you are.” You can really feel the music taking you down. You can really feel the song spiralling down. It is so bloody powerful.

Warpaint always send me off into another world when I listen to their music. No other has ever managed to do what they do to me. It’s rare. I don’t need to cling onto it with all I have because what I’e been wanting to find in a band, I found in Warpaint a few years ago. It’s just a mesmirising sound that catapults you into a different light. So powerful but also gentle.

Covers.

I hate covers, but every so often I hear a cover and my hate fades away. Hate is a bit harsh isn’t it. I don’t hate many things. But I really don’t understand why you’d want to take another song and possibly ruin it. However, sometimes a cover is better than the original. In short, I have mixed feelings about cover versions. I get a bit upset when a song I love is covered and just destroyed. There’s no need for it. But, there are some covers that I have grown fond of. I am partial to making an exception sometimes. I’ve attempted to pick 5 covers that I adore a hell of a lot. I will probably want to change my mind as soon as I’ve posted this.

Lykke Li has easily put out one of the best albums this year, and I’d say it’s been highly underrated. Her voice always breaks your heart. However, when she goes acoustic you really really feel her words. They hit you right in the gut. Many have covered Unchained Melody, but none have captured the pain within as much as Lykke Li does. A cover should mean the artist puts their own personal touch on it, she really does. When she holds the note around 2 minutes in, it just covers your body in goose bumps and you tremble. It’s such a gorgeous cover but at the same time, causes you to ache.

Apart from The Smiths, The Walker Brothers are my favourite band of all time. With one listen of this cover, it’s pretty much easy to see why. Scott Walker is like a god to me. His music is pretty much everything to me. A stunning singer who should be regarded as the greats. Let’s be honest, he’s probably the greatest. The Walker Brothers are one of the many that have covered this song originally by Jerry Butler (written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David.) The Walker Brothers add huge drums to this giving it a Wall Of Sound feel to this cover. Of all the break-up songs in the world, this is probably my favourite. It’s just a beautiful that, although it may pain you to listen to it- it comforts you too.

Cat Power is a strong vocalist. Her music always moves my soul, it goes beyond the heart. Her music has got me through some times I hope I never ever have to go near again. Her music is a lifeline. Seeing her live was one of the best gigs that I have ever been to. I’d waited years to see her, and I was right at the front. It was just perfect. Cat Power has covered a lot of songs in her career. She’s even released a covers record. I could’ve picked the obvious such as Sea Of Love or I Found A Reason, but I had to go with one of her Bob Dylan covers. I fully understand Cat Power’s love for Bob Dylan, I feel exactly the same. I hate it when Bob Dylan’ssongs are covered, I firmly believe the only person who should sing a Bob Dylan song is Bob Dylan- that was until I heard Cat Power’s version of Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again. My mind was blown, my heart beat double time. I fell in love with her music and Bob Dylan all over again. It’s a truly wonderful cover, quite possibly her best cover she has done.

I love Wicked Game. I used to be obsessed with this song when Iwas younger, I had a bit of a fascination with Chris Isaak, I loved his music. What I love about this song is that it just oozes the need to fight how you feel. As someone who does that more times than they should (I’m starting to get a bit better) this song is just perfect. I’ve always loved the line, “This world is only going to break your heart.” It just sums up the whole feel of the song. Don’t bother, you’re just going to get your heart broken. However, getting your heart broken will always happen. There’s no point trying to avoid it. Shit happens, you’ll be fine-carry on. I love the way she sings, “I never dreamed that I’d meet someone like you.” We’ve all felt that way. You meet someone you thought you’d never in a million years meet. I don’t wish to make my take on this any more personal than I have, so I will now move onto my final cover…..

I love The Kills as much as I love the Velvet Underground which is probably close to an obsession. I don’t call it that, I just call it a passion for excellent music. Pale Blue Eyes is my favourite Velvet Underground song (closely followed by Run,Run,Run.) The Kills are influenced by Velvet Underground, and have covered a few other songs by them; but this is my ultimate favourite. It’s my favourite cover EVER. I love Jamie’s guitar on this, it’s just so emotional and powerful. Then you have Alison’s voice. Her voice ALWAYS sends me off some place else. Don’t ever try to have a conversation with me if The Kills are playing near us- my attention will be elsewhere. And I’ll probably start singing and be in some kind of trance for about an hour. Pale Blue Eyes has some of the most wonderful lyrics ever. The opening verse is so haunting, “Sometimes I feel so happy. Sometimes I feel so sad….baby you just make me mad.” We’ve all got someone we care about, but they just make us mad. You can’t say why, but they just do. I love this song so much, and there was a time when this song was too much to listen to due to it being so bloody apt. But, that’s been and gone now; and I can safely say this is my favourite cover of all time and I can listen to it being, and just be in awe of Alison and Jamie’s talent. I did want to choose their cover of I Put A Spell On You by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins but I’d just rant forever.

I know I’ve missed out some brilliant covers, and as I’m a decent person (depends who you ask I suppose!) I’ll link you to some others:

Siouxsie & The Banshees- This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us.

Warpaint-Ashes To Ashes.

Patti Smith- When Doves Cry.

The Horrors- The Best Thing I Never Had.

Foals-Everybody Wants To Rule The World.

 

Warpaint-Billie Holiday.

Two years ago I heard a song by accident whilst researching something for my dissertation for Uni. This song just did something to me immediately. I wasn’t exactly at my best when I heard it, but it did something that improved life greatly. It also distracted me from doing any work. At this point, I really didn’t care.

Part of my dissertation was about Billie Holiday, I think you know where this is going.

My love (or obsession) for Warpaint started in 2009. I was listening to a load of Billie Holiday songs, and whilst I was searching for something about her, I saw the words Warpaint-Billie Holiday. I had NO idea what it was, and being the curious bugger I am, I clicked on the link. I wept. I’ve never heard an angel sing before but I’m pretty sure I heard it in this song. All I got from this song was utter love and devotion. If you want to call it a love song, so be it. Since then, I’ve always said if I was ever silly enough to get married (LEGALISE IT PLEASE) I would have this as THE song. Even better, I’d have Warpaint sing it. Actually, I’d just marry Warpaint. Problem solved really, right? I’d love them all equally and all I’d want was for them to sing to me all the time. I have far too much time on my hands and I also stupidly have far too much love to give.

I could quite happily listen to this song over and over. I’ll level with you, I do it anyway. I listen to it all the time. Whether I’m going for a walk or just laying in the dark due to lack of sleep- I play it. Recently the song was remastered. I refuse to talk about it because it hurts. The new version has stripped away EVERYTHING that this song is. The new version lacks the build up. I’m not happy about this. I know that change is good but LEAVE WARPAINT ALONE. I don’t care if you were a member of Pulp- BACK OFF. Now, with my rage out of the way; I will now pour out the love.

Lyrically, it is simple. However the way it is sung is so precious and delicate. If you could physically hold the song you would cuddle the fuck out of it. You’d cling onto it for dear life. “As I walk this line, I am bound by the other side. And it’s for my heart that I live, ‘cause you never die.” The way Emily sings this just makes my heart explode with every positive emotion known to the human race. The song is so pure and fragile; it oozes every single positive feeling imaginable. It is just sheer devotion to another- it is unconditional love. If you listen to this song, and you cannot appreciate how gorgeous the vocals are, then you’re silly. I could use a stronger word but I’m not in an arsey mood today. However, there’s 2 hours left in the day and someone will no doubt irk me won’t they.

The way B.I.L.L.I.E H.O.L.I.D.A.Y is sung over the verses is beautiful. The way they harmonise with each other is so stunning. It makes you wish you could sing something so beautiful. This is the only song by Warpaint that doesn’t create any imagery in my mind. Instead, it just hits me in the soul. That’s more powerful.

When they sing, “As a matter of a opinion I think he’s tops….etc.” then the drums kick in, and they sing B.I.L.L.I.E H.O.L.I.D.A.Y again, it’s so powerful. This song is so angelic and loving. Songs like Baby are so fragile and open. This one is just admiration and unconditional love.

I remember exactly how I felt when I first heard this song, and when I listen to it now; I feel exactly the same way. It’s like looking at the person you’re in love with or whatever for the first time, even though you’ve been with them ages- you get that feeling in your gut that takes you back to the first time you saw them. Even the cruellest of people know this feeling. It’s a killer, but its okay I suppose.

I adore the line, “Well if you want to know me, I’m a war- come paint.” I don’t know what it is about that line, it just stays with you.

Once you’ve listened to this song, it’ll stay with you. You’ll sing along even if it is in a murderous fashion. You cannot help but join in with the harmonising. Except you don’t sound like Warpaint, you probably sound like a cat being stood on. I’ve never stood on a cat, but you know what I mean.

It is a basic song compared to their others, but because it is so simple- it holds so much more. Warpaint do not need to go over the top with guitar solos or mental drumming to prove they are the best band around. Exquisite Corpse and The Fool are stunning works of art, what makes them phenomenal albums is you being able to tell that they really feel the music. When a singer or band can make you sense their passion for what they are creating; you feel it even more.

The song lasts 6 minutes and 45 seconds; again more proof that longer songs are easily the best. The song builds up so many times throughout, and it keeps you on edge- but in a gentle way. The way they sing this song is just like a lullaby. Honestly, if you’re having trouble sleeping listen to this song. Followed by Stars, Lissie’s Heart Murmur and Baby. Actually, just listen to all their music. Don’t go to sleep, you don’t need it; just keep listening to Warpaint. Nothing else really matters apart from their music.

It’s amazing how a song so simple can erupt such grand feelings. Good feelings. There aren’t many songs that make you feel one solid feeling when you listen to it. With Warpaint there’s one feeling I get with every single song- euphoria. Every single song of theirs has a build up within it and this tidal wave of euphoria just captures you. Billie Holiday is such an ethereal song. The vocals, tame drumming and the simple guitar sounds are so enthralling. It’s all well and good just playing this once but when you play it on a loop, over and over again; you notice different layers to it. This isn’t just obvious in this song; it is within all Warpaint songs. Maybe it’s because when you listen to Warpaint you put everything you have into listening to it. You discover different parts, and with discovering these different parts you just get taken to a different place. This place just consists of you and the music. There is honestly no better place than where a song takes you.

Escapism is a beautiful thing to experience from music. I get that every single time I listen to Warpaint.

Being a fan/obsessive-Is there a difference?

I’m not aiming to make any sense with this. I never make any sense. Maybe I’ll write stupidly short sentences or I’ll just rant with poor punctuation. Thank fuck for spell check. I’ll just get excited about mentioning certain bands and lose any sense of intelligence I have. It happens a lot, be grateful you don’t know me; you’d probably want to punch me. Most want to anyway, I fully get it. It’s okay.

Everyone has a band or singer that when they listen to them, a wave of emotion just takes over. They lose their mind, their body goes into some kind of fit and their heart beats double time. I don’t care who it is for you. I don’t care if Converge make you just lose your shit, if Ace Of Base make you so happy you piss yourself or if The Cure make you feel so fucking alive. I don’t care. This isn’t about the artist, it’s about the feeling you get from the music. It doesn’t have to be everything a band has done, it can just be one song that sends you into some ridiculous frenzy that you can only express by making noises only dogs can understand and flapping your arms about like a person trying to rid themselves of a wasp.

This year, I’m sure it was the start of February, I heard a song. Since hearing that song on that dull February day, I have played it every day since. No day goes by where I do not play I Want You by Summer Camp. It’s vital that I play it every day, I have no idea why. It’s just the best song I have heard this year. You know what it does to me? EVERYTHING. It makes me feel so fucking happy inside and out. I’m not the world’s most cheerful human being, but then again; who is? Nor am I total misery guts. I have good and bad days, I’m not afraid to feel disgustingly low. It doesn’t scare me. When I hear I Want You, I am just overcome with joy. So much joy. If I ever heard it in a shop or wherever, I think I’d have to sit down….or have a nap. I’d be uncontrollable. I love the synths; I love when it kicks in and just smacks you so hard in the face; but in a pleasurable manner. I adore Elizabeth’s voice, it’s stunning. I’d probably slap someone if they said they didn’t like this song. However, I’m not a violent person so I’d end up slapping myself in the face by accident. I’m book smart, not street smart. I Want You is just one of the many songs that cause me to react this way. Some eat cake to make themselves feel better, I just listen to music. Especially this song. Hand on heart; I can say it is my favourite song of the year. NO DOUBT.

I’ve always said I could never love a person as much as I love Morrissey. Obviously, I welcome the challenge. No ones challenged how I feel about this, so I’ve come to the conclusion that one is unlovable (yes that is a Morrissey based pun, it’s also true.) For me, Morrissey is THE ONE. The ultimate one. My lifeline and my life saver. Everything about his music and just him makes everything worthwhile. I know sometimes it is hard for us humans to carry on, but when I listen to Morrissey; I can’t help but feel okay with how I feel. I could feel so awfully low, but then I play one of his songs and I feel, “someone gets me.” He says the things I cannot say. He says the things I wish I could say. However, I know people who do not allow you to have an opinion so I just keep quiet. It’s the quiet ones you should watch, that’s what people say. I’m not a menace, I’ll stay quiet. Morrissey’s live shows feel like coming home. They make me feel like I can do anything. His live shows are like an epiphany. Anyone who has seen him live knows exactly what I mean. I don’t believe you can like just one or two Morrissey songs. I believe that once you hear a Morrissey song, that’s it for life. You become hooked. You don’t just like him, you love him. You love him unconditionally.

When you love a band, they become part of your life in a way you could never imagine. You think you’ve reserved this kind of love and emotion for your significant other, it overwhelms you. The love you have for the band or singer is on a completely different level. It’s the definition of love, respect and loyalty. You won’t let anyone say a bad word about them. You form friendships based on mutual love for them. If I wasn’t so shy, I’d probably attempt to form friendships in record shops. Then again, I can’t even chat up girls so I’d be useless at making friends. I mean, I do have friends but I didn’t mean them in record shops. Ranting now aren’t I.

When I was in secondary school, a section of my life I wish I could erase, all my work books were covered in band photos and lyrics. To this day, I still decorate my lyric books with lines from songs I love and writing the names of bands I love. The feelings a piece of music can give you can really take you aback sometimes. You wonder if the artist had the intention of having such power to do that to the listener when they made the record. Did Bob Dylan ever think he would be such a huge influence to people? Did Patti Smith ever think she’d inspire people to stand up and say something? How do they feel about it? It must be overwhelming for them too. Imagine walking on stage every night and having thousands and thousands of people sing your words back to you. Words you broke your heart to write and the audience feel every single word. I just don’t think there is any greater feeling in the world.

So what is it exactly that draws the line at “regular” fan to someone who is just obsessed? I’d never sleep outside my favourite singers’ house and present them with oranges when they opened their front door. You hear about people breaking into singers’ homes, casually taking a bath or whatever. Why would you do that? Bathing is private- USE YOUR OWN BATH. Are these people registered as mentally ill or do they actually love the singer? Only they know. I don’t condone such behaviours. There is nothing wrong with losing yourself to the sounds of your favourite band and/or at a gig; but don’t bloody follow them home. They’re people too, they are entitled to privacy. We all are.

I’ve always been obsessed with music. I remember dancing to Kraftwerk and Dee-Lite when I was a baby in the living room, in my nappy. I had moves dear reader, I had moves. Now? I don’t like to unleash them. I don’t want to threaten anyone; they’re not ready for them at all.

The best thing about feeling a song so deeply is when you meet the ones responsible for creating the sound, and just seeing what it means to them. I will always say interviewing Warpaint is my greatest achievement. I took so much from that interview, just being in their presence meant so much. If you watch their interviews or performances; you can truly see that they feel the music. It is their live. As it is their life, you fall completely and utterly in love with it; and it becomes your life. When a band or singer gives you their all, and they believe in their words- you can’t help but believe it too.

Everyone has a singer or band that they give themselves over to. They skip school to buy the record on the day of its release (I’ve done this, I’m not sorry.) They decorate their rooms with posters, name pets or children after the singer they love, have tattoos in honour of them. You follow a band everywhere on tour; you spend all your money on seeing them live. The best conversations are had whilst waiting in line to see your favourite band live. It just takes over, people call you obsessed. Don’t listen to them. We all need something or someone to believe in. It’s easier if it’s a singer because they cannot hurt you. All they do is project your nagging insecurities, your weaknesses, your joy, your pain, love, tears- everything. They do it all. They are there for you at 4am when the world is asleep. They provide the comfort no other can or ever will. Music is a crutch; it’s up to you how you use it.

There’s one thing that expresses the true meaning of being a fan. It isn’t in a song, it’s in a film; Almost Famous. I watched this film during my first year of University. I was full of self doubt, and didn’t know what to do. A relative told me to watch the film. I watched it, and it changed my life. It made me realise that all I want to do with my life is write. I may not be any good, but music and writing are my passion, I just have to do it. I don’t want to do anything else. My role models aside from my mum are two people who I believe changed music- Lester Bangs and John Peel. They fuelled something inside of me that caused me to love music as much as I do. It’s more than just a passion for it, it’s my life. Everyone has that one thing that is their life, mine is music. When I listen to The Kills first record, it makes me feel so fucking alive and like I can do anything. When I listen to the Velvet Underground, I fall in love with their raw sound and just want to create something wonderful.

When you truly love something like this, you are made to feel like you can do anything and be whatever you want. And you know what, you really can.

Warpaint-Baby.

It’s no secret that I love Warpaint, it goes beyond love. Its admiration and respect. It’s being in constant awe of 4 people who have created a sound that owns a large chunk of my heart. I’ve got a big heart, but I think it’s reserved mainly for music. It’s good and bad thing, maybe. I doubt it’s a bad thing to be honest.

As sleep is a foreign concept to me, I’m going to write about a song by Warpaint that is easily the most beautiful acoustic ensemble I have heard in a very long time. I compare anything that can be deemed as beautiful to this song.

I cannot pick a favourite song by Warpaint, that’s ridiculous. Even if a gun was pointed to my head- I couldn’t choose. I’d spend hours, and I’d change my mind 20 times. So I guess an awful, bloody end would actually cause me less trauma. That’s wrong, I know. Fuck it, I’d choose Lissie’s Heart Murmur. NO! I’d choose Krimson. No! Fuck…shit! I can’t. This is going to give me a migraine if I continue with this.

Right, so there’s a song by Warpaint that breaks a fraction of my heart because it is so beautiful. Majesty hurt to listen to because of how honest it was, and I heard it at a time where it was frightfully apt. This isn’t about Majesty, this is about Baby.

When I first heard Baby, I’m pretty sure I cried. Let’s be honest, I probably cried listening to The Fool in full because of how perfect it was. Baby just broke my heart a bit. It is quite sad, but it is so bare. So stripped and vulnerable. It’s just Emily Kokal and a guitar. Her voice is extremely delicate, even if she was to scream it’d sound so pure and innocent. She has this tone to it that just makes you feel so tranquil.

If there came a time where Baby was apt, I’d be utterly petrified. Imagine letting someone mean that much to you? Bloody hell, that’s powerful. However, I’ve made a vow to myself to never let anyone be associated with a Warpaint song. I couldn’t cope if someone ruined them for me. I’d probably shut the world off and never listen to music again. My love for Warpaint is that deep. You know how Lester Bangs was with Lou Reed? Pretty much me with Warpaint. Except, I’ve met them and they weren’t arseholes to me.

The lyrics to Baby, you cannot deny how stunning they are. It gives the same feeling as Billie Holiday does- the clarity in the vocals and simple sounds. The fact that it is so stripped down makes it that much fragile. You’ve basically got someone throwing their feelings out there saying, “Don’t you call anybody else baby, ‘cause I’m your baby still.” When I heard that line, I wanted to know what being in complete and utter love was like. The proper kind, not the kind that makes you stupid and unaware y’know? When I listen to it now, that feeling has gone. Instead I just take in the vulnerability of it and a wave of respect for the band comes through. I mean, I already respect them so much, but Baby just does something. Its like, how can you allow yourself to be that open? It’s scary but gorgeous.

“It took a long time to make it, but I never changed my mind.” Some things take time don’t they? The things you want, the person you want- it takes a while to get there. If you stick to it, and remain dedicated; you’ll get there. You have to; fate is sometimes on your side. Is it fate? Who knows? The way Emily sings this line isn’t in a pleading or in a desperate manner. It’s just owning up to that she stuck with it. It’s so beautiful. When I hear it, I just want to hug her and say thank you. Thank her for singing such a fragile song that many would be afraid to touch.

With most of their songs, they send you off into a different world. With this song, you stay exactly where you are, you face everything. It’s very up close and extremely personal. It’s intrusive but in a gentle way. Maybe when you listen to this, you think of someone you don’t want to think of. Maybe you think of nothing or no one in particular; you can just hear how pure this song is. That’s what I take from it. I think of nobody when I hear it; I just fall in love with what I am hearing. Its 5 minutes of perfection.

“You speak your fears. Thinking in circles and checking what mirrors don’t see. You live your life like a page from the book of my fantasy.” I wish I could write something as beautiful as that. There is really no other word but beautiful that one could use to describe this song. To me, this part of the song just sums up exactly what love is. Its noticing things about the one you love that they try to hide- but you don’t judge them for it. You don’t judge them for trying to hide what they fear another to find out.  They tell you their fears, but make sure nobody else finds out. That’s how it should be. You love them and even their faults are perfect to you. You look at them and you think it’s a dream, a fantasy that you have created; but it’s real. So very real and all yours. Even someone like me would appreciate that! The way Emily sings this, you just feel it. You feel it in every part of you. It moves you from your soul outwards.

When she sings, “How I love you” you can feel this admiration and loyalty just trickles out from her voice, it’s so haunting and perfect. When I can’t sleep, I usually play Warpaint. Mainly because their sound makes me feel like I am floating on water and it’s just the most relaxing atmosphere a piece of music can create for the listener.

How I’ve managed to write over 1000 on one song at ten past one in the morning is just weird. I just love this song so much, and I guess I just had to let this out. I know, I’m strange and the only ones who will get what I’m on about are those who truly love Warpaint as much as I do. They are the ones that GET them. They see past that they are 4 beautiful females. They see the talent, they feel the depths to the music and they get lost in it.

In their live shows, Emily plays this on her own. I’d probably stand and weep if I witnessed this and my life would never be the same again. You just have certain songs that if you saw live, your life would change forever. Nothing would or could ever compare to that moment. It’d complete you; you’d be in awe of what you were witnessing.

For me, Baby is more than a love song. It’s a dedication. It shows how one person is dedicated to another, unconditionally. It’s innocent and undemanding. It’s perfect and everything you wish to feel. It makes you cry because it is so honest and real. It’s not raw or brutal. It’s gentle. You feel like you are being swayed and loved in a simple way. You are theirs, and they are yours; simple as. No complications. You can take what you want from it. If you want it to be about the one you are in love with; go for it. It can be about anything, but it stems from love. This song rips my heart out, but in a good way. Yes, that is possible. It’s easily one of the most gorgeous songs I have ever heard. It’s a lullaby, it’s comforting. Just like Warpaint, it is everything.

Song Association.

The thing about music that always amazes me is the ability it has to change a person’s mood so quickly to how it can bring people together- just by bonding over song. It is probably one of the most powerful forces, in an entertainment sense.

A piece of music can send you back to a certain time, sometimes a time that you wish you could forget. Or sometimes, it just takes you to that place where nothing and no one can touch you. A certain song can make you feel so unbelievably invincible, that you can take on anything.

If I hear White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane I am immediately taken back to being a baby in my mum’s arms being rocked to sleep. Me and sleep have always had a bad relationship. Bad because most of the time, I find it impossible to sleep. When I hear White Rabbit I don’t hear Grace Slick’s haunting voice, I hear my mum mimicking creepy voices to get me to sleep. Now, for most that wouldn’t send them to sleep- with me, it did. Go figure. Ever the oddball I suppose.

Most probably use this song to get stoned to, as someone who’s never gone near drugs- White Rabbit is associated with my childhood. A precious memory that nobody can ever take from me.

However there are songs and artists that I can associate with shit times. Times that I wish never happened, but they did. They had to happen in order to make me who I am now. Some don’t like who I am now, but I do- and that’s what counts. If I listen to certain songs by Ladyhawke I am instantly think of a person who used to make me happy a few years ago, there was a time where I just couldn’t listen to certain songs by her. Now I can, because they are just memories and it is just a song.

Sometimes you hear a song that you and a friend or whatever, change the words to, and make it your own. You change the words to provide a comical take on it, it becomes your song.

I’ve heard couples go on about “this is our song!” and usually, it’s the wankiest song ever. They pick the stereotypical songs. If it was me, I’d probably pick something by Zola Jesus or The Jesus And Mary Chain. A darker take on it, I don’t know why- it’s just more intense and means more. Maybe I’d choose Billie Holiday by Warpaint. Actually no, I don’t think I could. Warpaint are my lifeline, and if it was to go tits up- the song would be ruined.

See, you have to be extremely careful with choosing what song you associate with someone you are close to. There will come a time where you cannot stand that person anymore, I think it’s called marriage? If you pick a song that you love to associate with them- what happens when it goes wrong? You dislike a person AND a song. It’s not worth it. Or is it?

The flipside is, when you hear that certain song you think of the person you love/like straight away. Every single part of you just lights up, you feel alive and superhuman. You have to take the good with the bad. Sometimes a song can sum up how you feel better than you can. Personally, I’m a bit shit with telling someone how I feel about anything or anyone. I can easily write things like this, that I have no issue with. I can pour out my heart and soul into an article and leave myself vulnerable or whatever- but make me tell someone how I feel about them? No thanks, I’ll just tell you to listen to a certain song- much easier. I’d say less effort on my part, but that’s not the case. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find that one song that just says it all? Bloody difficult!

I’ve always said I will never ever associate anything by Morrissey or Florence & The Machine with anyone, in a romantic sense. When I hear Everyday Is Like Sunday by Moz, I think of being at home straight away or I’m in York with my mum watching him sing it- good memories, of course. If I hear Between Two Lungs by Florence, I’m at a Florence gig with my best friend singing as if our lives depend on it. These memories don’t hurt. They just make me want them all the time.

Music can trigger off anything in your brain and cause your heart to instantly jolt, that’s how powerful it is.

There’s one song that no matter what will always make me stop everything and probably cry. The Smiths- Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want is my life, always has been, always will be. I’ve cried to this song and I’ve loathed life and myself to this song. There’s something about Morrissey’s voice that just breaks you in this song, as does Marr’s guitar. It just breaks you. I Know It’s Over comes close to this to. When I saw it live, I’m pretty sure I cried like a baby. When you hear the songs that saved your life live, it does that to you.

There’s a difference between associating a song with a person and a situation. When a song is associated with a person, you can carry bad vibes towards the person and song. When it’s towards a situation, it is easier to let it go. You cannot help a situation but you can be entirely cautious of who you get close to.

When I hear The Model by Kraftwerk, I remember being a baby in the living room dancing to this. The same applies to Groove Is In The Heart by Dee-Lite.

When I hear anything by Aaliyah I have a ridiculous amount of mixed feelings that I just cannot put into words, I just can’t.

Certain songs remind me of train trips and road trips. When I hear anything by The Long Blondes, Gossip or The Horrors’ first album- I’m back at my first year of university. The Long Blondes first album was played to death by me during my first year of university.

We create so many memories in our lifetime, some are hard to remember and some re hard to let go of- that’s why music is such a fascinating and overwhelming force.

Whenever I hear Now That We’ve Found Love by Heavy D & The Boys, I instantly remember being in a car with my family driving to Italy for the first time (that I can remember.) I loved that song SO much; pretty sure I used to rap along to it and dance like they did in the video. My mum and I used to sing it to each other in car, probably pissing everyone else off. I must have destroyed the tape of it during that trip. I was about 4 or 5; I was obsessed with that song so badly. If I hear that song now, I have to text my mum to tell her.

I’ve not really had a point with writing any of this, I never really do. I suppose I just had to write it down. However, my conclusion is this- I’d rather have a person break my heart than them ruin a song or band I love for me. I can handle having my heart broken, just don’t ruin a song I love- that I cannot deal with.