As I’m writing this, my 8-year-old nephew walks past. Stops. Looks at the screen, laughs loudly and says..”IT SAYS BITCH!!!”And now he’s yelling it at my mum,”GUESS WHAT AUNTIE OLIVIA IS LISTENING TO.” Then yelling the name. It’s okay, he’s entirely cute and he’s my favourite boy in the world.
This is the kind of music that requires you to wear your favourite band shirt, eat pizza and drink beer (or juice, it depends on your age.) It is noise. Pure noise, and I love it. It is tuneful noise that makes you just want to waste your life away. I probably am doing that anyway, but I’m seeking more enjoyment. I do believe I was born in the wrong place, and probably at the wrong time. But these kids are new. I’m just hating on England again.
Amazing things have come from Portland. Members of Warpaint, Portland Trail Blazers and now….YOUTHBITCH. They’ve been making amazing noise since 2007, I think? I could be wrong, or I could be right.
It’s the kind of music you play when you realise the person you are with is an ultimate waste of time. Been there, right? Play this loudly and forget them. But fuck it maaaan, just play them loudly anyway. Zone out and enjoy it.
Okay so why do I love them? I love them with all I have because it is the kind of music I wish I could make. But I cannot play any instrument. I’d be a drummer, probably. In the background making a lot of noise. The opposite of how I am. I stay in the background now, but I don’t make any noise.
You just want to laze about and play this super loud. But at night, you want to lose your shit and fuck things up. Lose your mind, you might aswell- it’s probably why you have it. You have things to lose them. So lose your mind.
It is a strange merge of Garage rock and a weird surfer twist. I honestly cannot put a name on it, I don’t want to. I just want to listen to them forever and lose my mind.
I guess I pretty much hold a lot of sentimental value towards Garbage’s second record. So many of the songs have acted like a beacon of light, a strand of hope when there was really none there you know? I feel that way towards all their records and I know I will feel that way about Not Your Kind Of People when it comes out. I’ll probably lock myself away for a very long time and refuse to do anything but listen to it. Over and over again. I’ll probably need a new copy of it after a week. I have Version 2.0 on vinyl and I’ve never played it. There’s certain songs on there that, if I heard on vinyl I’d probably have some kind of meltdown.
You Look So Fine has always meant the world to me. It means a stupid amount to me right now, but I’m going to place my awful feelings aside and write this in a way that doesn’t make me hate on life and such things. You see, this song just oozes vulnerability. The owning up of liking a person is a bloody chore isn’t it. I toy with the idea of telling someone (I rarely dig a person, mainly because if I want disappointment I’ll just put the news on) and let it bother me for a while. Then I tell them..and it goes wrong. So I play this song. I play this song and it is like a sigh of relief. You can let go once you let it all out can’t you. I’m not writing about this song because of this reason, that I need to get it out somehow. Oh no. I bitch about this nagging burden to about 2 people, then I drop it. I’m writing about this song because I believe it shows Garbage at their best. I’m sure I’ve said that about all their songs but for some reason, I feel it greatly towards this song and I want to try work out why. If I can.
The intro to the song sounds like a heart racing. You know that feeling don’t you? When you think about or see the person that has all your affections, even if they don’t know it. All of you aches and is frustrated. So what do you do?
“You look so fine I want to break your heart And give you mine.”
If I could’ve written anything in the world, it would be that. It is so perfect and pure. Imagine if someone said that to you. You’d melt and collapse into them. Or maybe it is just me. See, I may look like I’d mug you for black nail polish but I’m just a soppy old so and so who is a sucker for honest lyrics. The way Shirley sings this is so painfully dedicated. She is giving herself to that person, and nothing can stop her from doing so. See, you do try to stop yourself from feeling anything but it always catches up with you doesn’t it. How cheeky.
You Look So Fine is 5 minutes of honesty and wishing you had the heart to give up on a thing, a person. Something that’s just no good. It happens to us all. Once, twice..many a time. It happens. You can shrug it off. You can cling onto a wine glass in a bar and sing your heart out to the sad songs. Whatever gets you through.
“It’s so insane You’ve got me tethered and chained I hear your name And I’m falling over.”
The person’s name is enough to send you into some kind of frenzy. At times it is enjoyable but for the most part it is a bloody chore to deal with. You feel trapped. When oh when will you gain the courage to let it all go? Her voice when she sings this feels like a huge sigh. Like she knows she is stuck, but does she (or you) even want to get out?
Then rejection seems to want to say hello.
“Knocked down Cried out Been down just to find out I’m through Bleeding for you.”
There’s heartbreak, then there’s this. Going so low down just to feel something other than what they’ve given you. And what they have given you is rejection. One day fellow underdog, our time will come. This song for me is a sign of strength and hope. There’s a part of this song that just makes you think, “My time will come.” It’s up to you where you find it. For me it’s that part. It’s the realising that you are through. Utterly done with feeling a thing to this person. It takes a lot out of you, but you gain more from it. Rejection isn’t always a bad thing. So don’t be scared of it. (Oh how I wish I could pay attention to my own words.)
“I’m not like all the other girls I won’t take it like the other girls I won’t fake it like the other girls That you used to know.”
For me, I find this to be the most comforting part of the song. We all think, “I’m better than the one you have chosen, you’ll see.” But rarely do we say it. This song gives you the platform to own up to being good for someone. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a bit of a wanky person but hey- I’ll buy you presents when you least expect it because I’m kind. Prefer hugs though. They’re free. And money isn’t something I have. Got plenty of time though. ANYWAY. This part for me is just a piece of Heaven to be honest. When you can get to a point where you feel like that, you’ve got to take that strength and courage. You take it and move forward. What they used to know was bad for them. All that you are is good for them. You could be the one that changes everything for them. So why won’t they let you? I wish I had the answers, but I don’t. I’m just some idiot who likes to evidently, take a song apart and talk about what it means to them. How pathetic.
“Ending with letting go Let’s pretend, happy end.”
The repetition of this towards the end of the song leads up to an astounding instrumental build-up. The last-minute and a half of this song is almost like the listener gaining a solid peace of mind. You find clarity and you can carry on.
I just love this song so much. Not only is it one of my favourite Garbage tracks, it is easily one of my favourite tracks of all time. I love songs that seems vulnerable at the surface but as you listen closely you can find such strength and bravery in it. At times, you feel like you are on the outside looking in as the person you want wanders off through life with someone else. Sure it is heartbreaking, but that’s why you should only give yourself away to a person who is willing to give themselves to you. It takes time, everything in life does. These are the reasons as to why Garbage are the band that own me. Shirley Manson evidently owns my heart, and songs like this just show why.
I love 90s Mariah Carey. From 1990-1997, that’s when she truly was loved by me. I still love her. I still play Dream Lover on a daily basis. In my mind, it’s the perfect song to serenade some poor soul with. If I ever end up shouting the lyrics at your face, I am comfortable with you. I doubt it will ever happen. For fear of singing the wrong words but its okay because I’ve got a dance routine to it. That comes out when I’m a bit drunk because I do not care. I mean, I rarely care but when it comes to 90s Mazza C, I care a LOT.
I wish I knew where or why my love for 90s Mariah came from. I remember hearing Visions of Love when I was so young. I then remember seeing her on Top Of The Pops and just being in awe. I was probably amazed that a person could sing as high as that. Did I used to try copy her? I did. I’m not ashamed. I don’t have a high-pitched voice at all, I’m convinced I sound (and look) like a man with severe issues so I really did fail at trying to be like Mariah. When she hits that note on Emotions, I still wish I could hit that note. Instead I just sound like a gentle Barry White. Real gentle.
Now, let’s talk about Fantasy. Firstly the sample is CRAZY. Off the scale kind of crazy. Then we have the Bad Boy remix with THE muchly missed Ol’ Dirty Bastard. I can rap like him for sure. When he chimes in with “Me and Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.” Oh sweet fuckery it is beautiful. I challenge you to not do that with him. You can’t help yourself. I’d probably serenade someone with this if I could to be honest. I have never been so distracted in my life writing this. I just feel the need to make up new dance routines and hit that high note. What is wrong with me?!
Okay so I’ve loved Mariah as long as I can remember. I’ve never really cared about the lyrics, I just really loved the music. As a child I would dance to ANYTHING. I probably danced to all the adverts I saw. I couldn’t sit still. Now? Well, I’d appreciate it if there were beds in clubs so I could rest you know? Getting on a bit here. I just loved dancing to anything when I was a kid. I got thrown out of Ballet but err..that’s a different story. Her music just made me so bloody happy. It still does- only her stuff from the 90s though. Touch My Body is a bit crap isn’t it? But let’s be honest, you love it anyway. I’d probably dance to it.
Her debut record is incredible. The songs are HUGE. Every single song is a bloody anthem. Empowering and euphoric. Stop acting as if you are better than this and embrace the fact that you enjoy a bit of 90s Mariah. Her ballads have always reduced me to tears, I cannot handle it. I remember hearing her cover of Without You and cried. It was 1993 wasn’t it? I just bawled.
Always Be My Baby could be borderline stalker-ish, right? I wouldn’t serenade anyone with that. Although, I did love seeing Mariah loving life to the fullest on the swing in that video. I think after seeing that, I asked my dad to build a swing in the back garden for me. He did, bless him. I think it was the only time he did something nice for me.
So in short, I just really adore 90s Mariah Carey. All too often when I say I like a band or singer, I get this weird facial expression from the person I am telling followed by “You can’t listen to that.” Look, just because I wear black and I class The Jesus And Mary Chain and Garbage as my favourites of all time does NOT mean I can limit myself to what I listen to. Celine Dion has done some of the BEST power ballads of all time. Kelly Clarkson makes me want to yell empowering things at the top of my voice. I think Demi Lovato is an amazing role model for kids. WHAT? Piss off with your assumptions. Music snobs are awful, there’s no need for it. You stick to being a pretentious jumped up so and so..and I’ll carry on listening to some Mazza C. Deal? Cool.
My obsession for Crocodiles started in 2009. I fell in love with their distorted sound that made me feel like I did the first time my ears were subjected to The Jesus And Mary Chain. I felt this wave of love and wonder just take over. I couldn’t believe I was FINALLY experiencing something like this for real. Like I was going to be part of it, there from the very start. I rate Brandon so very highly as a frontman. I just love him a hell of a lot. His lyrics and his presence are just inspiring. Their debut record, Summer Of Hate made a really shite year worth getting through. Its lo-fi sound just elevated my soul and made everything okay. I think it was them and Cold Cave that dragged me through. 2010’s release, Sleep Forever was equally as important to me and I am 100% positive that this year’s release, Endless Flowers will mean just as much. Oh and also, Brandon is married to my favourite woman in music- Dee Dee Penny (Dum Dum Girls.) Best couple in music? You damn right they are.
So let me touch on their new video.
The video makes you feel like you’ve just dropped acid. I’ve never touched drugs, but this makes me feel like I have. The song is wonderfully calming and makes you want to seek out love, of sorts. You fall in love to this song so easily and the video gives you this lucid feel. It is the best kind of crazy possible.
You can check the video out here : http://www.nowness.com/ and also, Brandon gives you a list of his favourite psychedelic videos. Excellent choices, especially with Dum Dum Girls and The Horrors.
If they tour the UK this year, you’ll probably find me at the front losing my mind. I honestly cannot praise them enough and get all the love out. Just..amazing.
You know you have the world’s best mum when she makes you a cup of tea and puts whiskey in it! She’s also made herself a cup. I’m at the legal age to drink (by many years) so she’s not being an irresponsible parent. As I’m ill, I reckon this whiskey and tea combination will make me better. Or, it’ll just cause nap o’clock to come around earlier than usual. If this cures my flu, then I’ll be writing to doctors all over telling them I’ve found the cure. However they may think some drunken fool has been allowed out for the day and has gained access to pen and paper. Much fun could be had with that.
Gabby Young. And she’s got some animals with her. I’m in love already. She’s beautiful and incredibly talented (whiskey is kicking in.)
I love anything that seems a bit odd. Mainly because I constantly have weird things playing out in my mind. You know Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy? Well, scenes from that are pretty much what goes on in my head. I guess I have to write as some kind of sane outlet. It helps, but is it working. I don’t know. Gabby Young’s voice is soft and tender. I sound odd saying that, I know. But it is such a delicate voice and I love voices like this because you can hear every single word. I need clarity in my ears because my eyesight is awful at times. She sings like an angel, and dresses like one too. If more people dressed like her, I’d probably love life a little bit more.
In Your Head is the lead single from her second album The Band Called Out For More which is out June 11th. I doubt anything will be out then worthy of purchasing aside from Gabby’s record, so you should probably buy it. You should also go see her play The Scala (London) on the 13th June.
So, In Your Head is a bout of madness and delight. It messes with your mind- you may trip out to this. It is just a wonderfully shot video. and it goes so well with the song. You see a lot of the time artists have to make over the top videos to compensate for their crap music. This isn’t the case with Gabby at all.
It is an accessible and wonderfully flamboyant. With most music being about how someone has ripped another person’s heart out, Gabby is much-needed. It’s just fun. I mean sure there’s dark elements, but it is done in a way that just makes you smile. Her clever wit and stunning vocals make her one of the best singer’s around. So why oh why is she not huge? Why is she not as big as some of the drivel we are subjected to? I guess it’s because if you want something different and of substance, you will search for it. Then when you find it, you never want to let it go.
There are so many instruments played in her music, it adds so many layers to it in the least pretentious way possible. You can tell this is her life, that it means everything but at the same time you know you she is having the time of her life making this music. When you take life too seriously, you stop enjoying it. I’m just rambling now. Bascially, you need Gabby Young in your life. If you love the likes of Amanda Palmer, Birdeatsbaby, Imogen Heap and grand voices such as Edith Piaf then you’ll probably give your heart and soul to Gabby. You might as well to be honest.
Her cryptic sounds make you feel like you are being chased by a ghoulish being. Some of the best music created are the ones that terrify you and take you to a different place. I could quite happily go on and on about her, but I’ll leave it here for now. She’s just a remarkable talent that, for the life of me, cannot understand why she isn’t huge. Can we please change that this year?
Everyone, I don’t care who you are, has a song that ultimately defines them. It is a song that they play when they seek a feeling that nothing or no one in this world can give them. You have some that turn to a substance, some that turn to a canvas and create a piece of art- then some just turn to a piece of music. This song is your life. It sums up not just how you feel, but it gets out every tiny little feeling you have. No matter how messed up it is- that song is YOUR song. Call it a theme song if you want. Or maybe, just maybe, it is the song that gets you through.
I’ve thought about this quite a lot. I think attempting to define a person is the worst thing you can do. To define yourself by your sexuality or colour isn’t cool. There’s more to you than that. So why settle for less? “I’m gay so I must act this way.” No, just no. You must not. You must go with your heart and ignore what is expected of you. I think any ounce of strength I have comes from listening to Garbage. I was talking about them yesterday whilst having lunch with a friend that I have known since I was 5 years old (20 year friendship..maybe I’m not so bad after all!) and I brought up the topic of Garbage. She knows they have been my life since I was 8 years old. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a connection to a band. You see, with Morrissey it is the wit and longing I relate to. With Shirley’s lyrics it is the courage and desire to no longer put up with the shit anymore. It is like, her lyrics instill something in me that nobody will ever do. I have cried on my bedroom floor to Garbage. I have had revelations to their music. I have become tougher to their music. I’m still too sensitive, but I’ve learnt to accept that it is just who I am. I’ll have my outburst and nap it off. That’s just how I am. I spent a long time trying to change it, but I listen to her lyrics and I realise that it is okay. You can be strong but vulnerable. That’s why The Trick Is To Keep Breathing is MY song.
“She’s not the kind of girl Who likes to tell the world About the way she feels about herself She takes a little time in making up her mind She doesn’t want to fight against the tide.”
If any verse in the history of music could sum me up, it’d be this one. I think anyone who has felt useless and hopeless can relate to this song, mainly this verse. It is everything you want to say, constantly on the tip of your tongue. Shirl gets out all those feelings of vulnerability and being unsure because you find it hard to do so. I’ll be the first to admit that me saying how I feel to a person is hard work. I’d rather write the person a song or poem, and give them it. But then I think what I’ve written isn’t good enough so I don’t bother. Constant battle that I’ll never win. Not with an attitude like that. Moving on.
The Trick Is To Keep Breathing, when I first heard it, I was only 11 or 12. That age where everything is about to change and you really have no idea. Move forward to now and the song is still as important to me now as it was then. Just because I’m firmly into adulthood doesn’t mean I know anything. All I know is based on what I believe, from certain songs and my own experiences. It gets you through. It is okay to carry some uncertainty around with you because it keeps you sane. It keeps you breathing. I’ve always wanted this song title tattooed on me somewhere. I have no idea where, I constantly change my mind..but I know I need to have it done soon. Real soon.
I cannot pick out a favourite Garbage lyric from any song. I’d have to spend a long time (sure I’ve got the time but..) trying to figure it out. I’d change my mind, but this one always comes to mind when I think about it :
“She knows the human heart And how to read the stars Now everything’s about to fall apart.”
It is just so haunting. You can figure everything out, but at the same time you cannot stop it from falling apart. Sometimes though, it all has to fall apart in order for it to seem right again. Trial and error. Or just error after error? Your call kid, your call. You’ll get what you want, eventually. But when will you get WHO you want? I dispute that most days with myself, to the point where I shut that part off because it causes a headache.
For me, Garbage are the friend I go to at 3am when I cannot sleep and need some form of guidance. Deep breaths. A cup of tea and I play their music. The amount of times I have played The Trick Is To Keep Breathing on a loop is probably in triple figures. I don’t care. It isn’t teenage angst, it was never ever that. It was always self frustration. I wanted to figure out so much and I just couldn’t. The Trick Is To Keep Breathing became my anthem, my theme song because it aided with figuring everything out.
“Maybe you’ll get what you want this time around .”
Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. Either way, I’ve got this song to keep me going. To remind me to keep breathing. There’s a war in all of us. There’s a tame path for all of us. You’ve just got to figure out which one you are dragging yourself towards. It is never too late. Keep breathing, and don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough. If I write this down, maybe I’ll believe my own words. Or maybe I’ll just listen to Garbage and believe their words. Nobody is ever sure, nobody is ever right. That’s why you cling onto whatever gets you through. For me, its music.
I hate how personal I write. But if it isn’t going to come from the heart, then what’s the point?
The amount of cough medicine I have poured into my body over the weekend is enough to make me hero, Lester Bangs either proud of..or enough to make him curse me from the skies. I haven’t taken it because I love him and I’m doing it in his honour. Oh no. I’ve done it because I am ill. To the point where if I go outside and go for a walk, after 10 minutes I feel like I’m going to pass out. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m hoping it’ll piss off soon. I’ve got a delightful husky voice to go with it. I’m like a really unsexy version of Barry White right now..oh wait!
Taking all this cough medicine should be enough to make me go a bit lucid. Not true. Total Slacker are doing it for me instead. Their hypnotic sounds are making my mind take off and my body feel weightless. Fuck this shit, can someone PLEASE take me to America where I can be surrounded by music I love more than my general being can contain? Total Slacker are the hyperactive version of Crocodiles. I love Crocodiles more than you will ever know, so this is a huge compliment for Total Slacker. The name alone fills me with joy. Their music, well..I don’t have the words but I’ve got the time to try.
You know what pisses me off..(aside from racism, attention seekers, homophobes and those that judge) bands that are so insanely talented and are unsigned. The state of music isn’t bad if you go look for something worth believing in. Just because it is on commercial radio doesn’t mean its good. You go listen to Rihanna, I’ll listen to Total Slacker. I can relate to them. I cannot relate to a Rihanna song.
Brooklyn…Brooklyn. You and L.A. are the owners of my heart. I’d be inside you if I had the means. Total Slacker have this mental sound that causes your head to spin at a ridiculous speed. But at the same time, it does something to your soul. In a physical way it makes you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster. Mentally, it makes you think you’re on some trip. I’ve never done drugs. I’m anti-drugs (my laptop got searched for drugs the other day at the airport. They were evidently judging me hard based on how I dress. Fistful of wankers) but Total Slacker make you feel so spaced out. Is this the cough medicine finally kicking in? I hate making comparisons but this is like the Pixies and The Jesus And Mary Chain fucked with each other. This is so perfect.
You don’t need to be over-produced and have about a billion layers to your music to be amazing. Just play with heart,soul, passion and have this raw feeling about you. Like Total Slacker do. Maybe it’s an East Coast thing? I’m directing a lot of love towards this band. I really really cannot get my head around the fact that they aren’t signed. The hell is up with that? This distorted, spaced out yet hyperactive sound is everything I love about music, and how music should be. Why is this being ignored? Whatever, the main thing is that a band like this exist.
Now, if you don’t mind I’m going to carry on listening to them and imagine I am living in a spaceship or something more interesting than real life.
Attempting to type when you have the flu is like trying to run a marathon when you’ve vommed up your guts. It hurts and you have no idea what is going on. I have no idea what is going on right now. I’ve tried to sleep it off, but it’s just not happening. I’ve probably had too much cough medicine, and should ease off it now. It tastes really nice. A bit like Ribena. I feel like I need to be cradled gently so I fall asleep, and when I wake up I feel normal again. As there’s no one to do this, I’m seeking comfort in Spiritualized. Again.
As a person, I have a lot of feelings. This doesn’t mean I cry at everything or anything. I just know how to feel. I’m not afraid to have emotions. I’d be worried if I turned into a robot. I know it’d be easier if I had none, but I’m not that kind of person. I’m far too sensitive, I hate that part of me. It’s an unattractive trait. I guess on anyone else it’d be okay though. I learnt that it’s okay to be vulnerable and sensitive through listening to the stunning work Jason Pierce creates. His work as Spiritualized has got me through things I wish to never face again. However knowing my luck, I probably will. But, I drag on through it by using his words as a pillar of hope. A source of light. Refuge, I suppose. Everything about his music just elevates the soul and eases the mind. His seventh record is by no means an exception. You can place it against the other 6 as being highly influential and mind-blowing.
It’s virtually impossible for me to write about this record without wanting to be so horrifically personal. Just to vocalise everything Jason means to me. It’s impossible, so I’ll keep this as short as I can without being personal.
This album feels like you are being swayed delicately. If you feel broken-hearted, ill, down, lost, tired- play this record. It is the biggest source of comfort I have found in a long time. I probably feel more for it than I usually would because I am so bloody tired, and ill. Freedom is my favourite track off the record because it just feels like…I have no idea. I really don’t.
Genuinely lost for words right now. I’m not even sorry. Maybe this is a sign that I shouldn’t bother writing anymore. I’m stumped. I cannot find the words to describe this beautiful piece of art.
I think this record is probably one of the best things I have ever ever heard. I have no idea how to feel about anything right now, compared to this..I just don’t know at all. I really don’t. How can a person make something like this? How is it possible to create something so haunting and hypnotising? I’m in awe. It goes beyond being in awe.
This record makes me feel like I’m at the aftermath of death. That I’m going to the afterlife. I’ve never known anyone but Jason Pierce to make me feel this way. I feel like I have died and gone into the afterlife. No worries, no baggage- nothing at all. Entirely weightless and unconditionally happy. This state of beauty it puts you in allows you to feel weak, it makes it okay for you to feel weak. Fall apart. It is completely okay. The record will carry you through and make it all okay again.
I am content with this being the only music videos I lay my eyes upon this year. It is wonderfully fucked up and beautifully decadent. Pretty much standard for Marilyn Manson, right?
Cue the idiots of the world calling him a freak. Whatever. The guy is genius. The album is clearly going to be one of the best things to happen this year. Comeback of the year? For sure. I just love him, a lot. So I’m going to stand by this statement with my hand on my heart.
When you truly love a singer, you look beyond all the bad press. You know that the press are just out to set a person up for a fall. For some fucked up reason mistakes are held up high and any hints of success are immediately ignored. Humans are becoming less and less compassionate. Increasing in their cruel streak.
I’m not saying Courtney Love is perfect. She will tell you she isn’t. Nobody on this planet is perfect. We all do things we aren’t proud of. Some on a daily basis. If you learn and keep growing as a person, you’re just fine. Fuck what anyone thinks though, right?
I’ve always loved the music Courtney Love made. Whether it was on her own or in Hole. I never cared for her personal life at all. She had a drug habit? Big deal. She was married to Kurt Cobain? Big deal. I was never a fan of Nirvana. Everytime I hear some wanker say “Courtney killed Kurt” I do want to throttle them. Were you there? No. You weren’t. You probably only claim to dig Nirvana because you want to seem cool. Rip your jeans and hate the world. It’s just an image to you. I was never a fan of Nirvana, but I respect Kurt as a musician. His lyrics could cut through your heart with his honesty. So how come nobody has ever saw this in Courtney’s lyrics?
If you want to find a strong female musician who, against it all, kept going when she was expected by so many to just keep on fucking up and giving up- then Courtney is your woman. Those who are quick to judge her and slag her off, have you ever listened to her words? Have you heard Live Through This? That record is empowering in its truest form. It touches on subjects most are afraid to touch on due to them being “taboo.” How can you expect society be open when it shuts up on haunting subjects? We truly need women like Courtney in music. I still live in hope that some 14-year-old girl is listening to Hole and feels the need to start her own movement. Live Through This starts some kind of fire inside of you. When you’ve listened to this record, you just see the world in a different way. You see the unfairness and how unequal society still is and it makes you want to do something about it. What are YOU going to do about all the wrong you see?
For me, Courtney is the underdog that has so much heart and soul you cannot ignore her. How could you want to silence such a force?
I first heard Hole in 1994. I remember seeing the video to Doll Parts and my young eyes were just obsessing over what I was seeing. I couldn’t get my head round the video. I loved the angst feel to it. You know, one of the first tapes I remember being given was a 4 Non Blondes album by my mum. She knew I loved the angst feel. I wasn’t an angry child. I was much like I am now. Quite, sensitive and stupidly gentle. I just loved music that was loud, bold and honest. I still do.
When you hear how much a singer believes in what they are singing, you really cannot help but believe in every word too. You fall for it. It is just like falling in love. You get the butterflies when you hear their voice. You cling onto every single word. You believe in it with all you have and refuse to let anyone say a bad word against them. Maybe it can be destructive, but look beyond that and you see all it is, is unconditional. So long as they put out the songs that sum up how you feel, you will love them with all you have.
Maybe I just love Courtney so much that I cannot see why anyone would choose to keep such a strong woman down. Or maybe I’ve answered it myself right there. Maybe it is because she is so strong, she is seen as a threat you know? Because she speaks her mind and writes from the heart, she is seen as some kind of threat. Well you know what, I’d rather have someone as strong and fierce (I don’t mean it in a Tyra Banks fashion) be seen as a threat than someone stupid (insert any politician really.)
Her lyrics touch on anything and everything. From rape to romance. From wanting to never wanting again. To wanting to give yourself to a person to wanting a person to take everything from you. Maybe you’re scared of the fact that you can identify with her lyrics, you hate how open she is and you hate how you cannot be open. Face that fear.
I don’t understand how a person such as Courtney is ridiculed and shot down- yet if it was anyone else, they’d probably hold that person up so high. I can list the few singers that caused me to write songs/poems and Courtney is one of them. Earlier this evening, I just sat on my bed and wrote her a poem. She’ll never see it, no one will ever see it. But she’s been an inspiration to me ever since 1994, it’s the least I could do.
It pains me that Courtney will be one of these artists that people will pay attention and love when she is no longer with us. Why can’t we just see how talented she is now and stop being a general asshat towards her talent? If it wasn’t for her, a lot of the female musicians we have now wouldn’t have bothered to pick up a guitar and start their own movement.
Females such as Shirley Manson, Brody Dalle, Gwen Stefani are all as equally as inspiring to me (and others) as Courtney is. Strong and honest. Stop seeing these qualities as a threat. Try and silence them as much as you want, but its obvious you never ever will.
If it wasn’t for Courtney I don’t know if I would’ve cared for lyrics as much as I do. Yes, I love Morrissey but with Courtney she let out the fears, pains and furies one feels as a female. Now more than ever, as an adult I can relate a hell of a lot more. There’s so much more to her than what you have read about her. Don’t believe the press, believe in her lyrics. That’s where you will find the truth.
Her vulnerability in her lyrics mean more to me than I can even attempt to express. She made it okay for you to feel like you are falling apart, but still find that one tiny thing to give you the strength to drag yourself through. Basically “Live Through This.”
Beat In My Bones. 