90s Mariah Carey.

I love 90s Mariah Carey. From 1990-1997, that’s when she truly was loved by me. I still love her. I still play Dream Lover on a daily basis. In my mind, it’s the perfect song to serenade some poor soul with. If I ever end up shouting the lyrics at your face, I am comfortable with you. I doubt it will ever happen. For fear of singing the wrong words but its okay because I’ve got a dance routine to it. That comes out when I’m a bit drunk because I do not care. I mean, I rarely care but when it comes to 90s Mazza C, I care a LOT.

I wish I knew where or why my love for 90s Mariah came from. I remember hearing Visions of Love when I was so young. I then remember seeing her on Top Of The Pops and just being in awe. I was probably amazed that a person could sing as high as that. Did I used to try copy her? I did. I’m not ashamed. I don’t have a high-pitched voice at all, I’m convinced I sound (and look) like a man with severe issues so I really did fail at trying to be like Mariah. When she hits that note on Emotions, I still wish I could hit that note. Instead I just sound like a gentle Barry White. Real gentle.

Now, let’s talk about Fantasy. Firstly the sample is CRAZY. Off the scale kind of crazy. Then we have the Bad Boy remix with THE muchly missed Ol’ Dirty Bastard. I can rap like him for sure. When he chimes in with “Me and Mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.” Oh sweet fuckery it is beautiful. I challenge you to not do that with him. You can’t help yourself. I’d probably serenade someone with this if I could to be honest. I have never been so distracted in my life writing this. I just feel the need to make up new dance routines and hit that high note. What is wrong with me?!

Okay so I’ve loved Mariah as long as I can remember. I’ve never really cared about the lyrics, I just really loved the music. As a child I would dance to ANYTHING. I probably danced to all the adverts I saw. I couldn’t sit still. Now? Well, I’d appreciate it if there were beds in clubs so I could rest you know? Getting on a bit here. I just loved dancing to anything when I was a kid. I got thrown out of Ballet but err..that’s a different story. Her music just made me so bloody happy. It still does- only her stuff from the 90s though. Touch My Body is a bit crap isn’t it? But let’s be honest, you love it anyway. I’d probably dance to it.

Her debut record is incredible. The songs are HUGE. Every single song is a bloody anthem. Empowering and euphoric. Stop acting as if you are better than this and embrace the fact that you enjoy a bit of 90s Mariah. Her ballads have always reduced me to tears, I cannot handle it. I remember hearing her cover of Without You and cried. It was 1993 wasn’t it? I just bawled.

Always Be My Baby could be borderline stalker-ish, right? I wouldn’t serenade anyone with that. Although, I did love seeing Mariah loving life to the fullest on the swing in that video. I think after seeing that, I asked my dad to build a swing in the back garden for me. He did, bless him. I think it was the only time he did something nice for me.

So in short, I just really adore 90s Mariah Carey. All too often when I say I like a band or singer, I get this weird facial expression from the person I am telling followed by “You can’t listen to that.” Look, just because I wear black and I class The Jesus And Mary Chain and Garbage as my favourites of all time does NOT mean I can limit myself to what I listen to. Celine Dion has done some of the BEST power ballads of all time. Kelly Clarkson makes me want to yell empowering things at the top of my voice. I think Demi Lovato is an amazing role model for kids. WHAT? Piss off with your assumptions. Music snobs are awful, there’s no need for it. You stick to being a pretentious jumped up so and so..and I’ll carry on listening to some Mazza C. Deal? Cool.

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