It is impossible to write about a person and a band that are so perfect, that no words can do them justice. All the words and phrases that float about your head then crash into some kind of frenzy just aren’t good enough to sum up everything you are hearing and everything it makes you feel. You can wait forever fo this (by “forever” I mean a few years) and when it hits you, it is the most glorious feeling ever. I’ve been reluctant to write anything recently because I heard the new record by a band that I’ve loved from a very very young age. A band that after 21 years released a new record. There wasn’t much hype, just sincere anticipation. Patience failed me that day, and I felt uneasy writing about anything. Thus proving, not everything is worth waiting for.
But Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds you see mean more. A lot more. Nick Cave is on a par with Morrissey and Patti Smith; he means that much to me. The words, the wisdom, the voice; it is everything. Was waiting for Push The Sky Away worth it? Thankfully it is. It exceeds all expectations and fills a music based gap. It feels like a dream that we have that haunts us yet we allow it to hold some meaning, and everything we do is a step to figuring it all out.
Writing about Nick Cave in any capacity is something that makes you realise how much you love him. As I listen to Push The Sky Away, I feel like that 4-year-old who sat staring at my uncle’s poster of him on his wall. I stared at it for what seemed hours. My gran used to find me staring at this poster and I remember asking her, “Who is that man?” And she said, “That’s Nick Cave.” I remember it so well, and the look in Nick’s eyes in the poster. It made me feel like he was staring at me. Maybe it was a sign, I have no idea. I’m not that mental. But go forward into my early teens and an obsession flared up and stayed with me ever since. As I listen to Push The Sky Away, I feel like that 4-year-old left in awe of someone who would later become my hero for many many reasons.
Push The Sky Away is a record that I feel is a lot more relaxed than any other The Bad Seeds record. My heart is always going to be with The Birthday Party, just because I love the sheer aggression in the music. However, with The Bad Seeds there is a lot more poetry and soul to the music. Of course Nick Cave is basically a poet, regardless of who he is making music with. But with The Bad Seeds, there is an element of poetry to it all. There are so many romantic tones drifting in and out of Push The Sky Away, and these are the reasons as to why I adore Nick Cave. He can be utterly dark yet so tender with his words at the same time. There aren’t many that do this, and if they do; do they do it as well as Nick Cave? Well, that’s a personal opinion. Don’t force it upon anyone.
Higgs Boson Blues is easily my favourite off Push The Sky Away. Maybe after I’ve played it a few more (hundred) times I may change my mind. I’m not entirely sure, but Higgs Boson Blues makes you shut your eyes and imagine you are sat next to Nick Cave driving to nowhere in particular. The open windows cause the dust in the roads to hit your eyes, mildly irritating them but as you wipe it away it is like wiping away the dirt of life. Push The Sky Away is like a re-birth, a cleansing of the soul and the start of something new. All you once had no longer matters. You’ll find meaning in any song by The Bad Seeds. You’ll find anything and everything. A swirl of emotions that make you realise that THIS is the record you have been waiting for.
Yesterday I saw something that made me yet again realise that strangers are sometimes a lot more friendlier and much more kind than those we know. Sometimes we find it easier to tell someone we do not know that they aren’t alone or are more inclined to make them feel less alone compared to someone we know, or are close to. I’ve tried to work this out, and I have no answer. I have no answer to anything, just my own views. Which may or may not be right; but it should NEVER be about being right because when that becomes the only thing in life that you strive for, or that gives you satisfaction then maybe you need to reevaluate your way of living. Hard to say you’re living if you do that, you’re just existing. It’s a chore, not a pleasure.
This act of kindness I witnessed was something that I wish I took a photo of. It was a beautiful thing to see, mainly because it showed that strangers have a bigger heart than those we know at times. I was walking into Tesco (other supermarkets available, so please use them..got for Sainsburys, that’s a good one. Orange plastic bags and a good vegetarian section.) Outside the shop were two homeless men. I immediately wanted to buy them something to eat and drink. I always give money or food to the homeless. You just have to, you cannot ignore them. You should always help in any way you can. Last year at Pride (London..outside the same Tesco) it was late in the evening, so I went in and bought something to eat. It was the only vegetarian thing they had. Some excuse for pasta, no idea. I was looking around and I saw this man in the doorway, it was raining too. I left my friends for a few seconds and walked up to him and gave him the food I bought. I didn’t touch what I ate, I just gave him it. He tried to refuse, but I told him he had to take it because it was raining. I saw many people ignore him and I wanted him to know that someone was thinking of him. I think of this a lot, mainly because I hope he’s okay and safe.
The two men I saw yesterday were sat outside, and as I got nearer I saw they were both huddled under a leopard print blanket someone must have given them and they were also sharing a pizza that someone had bought for them. Strangers can offer more than we know. We are always told “don’t speak to strangers.” But why? Sometimes those that are the closest to us are the ones that do the most damage, and those who know nothing about us are the ones that can sometimes give us what we need; kindness and hope. I can contradict myself here with two things. I once helped someone who was (and still is) my best friend. We’ve known each other since we were 4 and have fallen out once. Anyway, I was at someone’s house and she was a horrible creature. She bullied everyone, and eventually picked on me because she was a fool. Anyway, she lived right near my best friend and she was being beyond horrible to her. She was riding round on her bike, and I had enough of her being horrible to my friend so (she was wearing a helmet and landed on a lot of grass) I pushed her off her bike when she came back around. My best friend and I ran to her house. I hid, and she told her mum what I did. She was fine with it and we ate pizza. I stuck up for my best friend because that’s what you do. Once, a stranger punched me in the face and nearly ripped my nose ring out. So I guess there are always exceptions. I didn’t retaliate. My hitting someone in a fight would be a comedy moment. I’d lose my balance and just punch myself in the face.
People always say, when you tell them what’s wrong, that someone else always has it worse. I think that does more harm than good. It just makes the person who feels bad, feel more shit than they already do. We need to be more compassionate and less judgemental. Not every homeless person is a junkie. Not every junkie is a bad person. Bad people are everywhere, as are good. It’s just we are exposed to negativity because sad-cases thrive off it. It’s a terrible way to be. Maybe I need to stop seeing the good in everyone, but we all deserve a chance. That’s basically what the point of this is, maybe you took something else from it. I have no idea. Just next time you see someone sleeping rough on the street, it wouldn’t hurt you to buy them a drink or give them some change. The kindness in strangers is needed; kindness in general is. If it was you, you’d want someone to help you in some way right?
Seaside towns can be dull and depressing. Maybe this is a sweeping statement considering I hate where I am from. Everything about it is dull and depressing. The lack of culture. The lack of acceptance. The lack of life. The lack of everything; but the odd beach or two (that aren’t covered in rubbish) make up for it.
You’d think a band coming from a seaside town would make music that gives you an endless summer vibe. You’d be wrong. Not entirely, but there’s a band from Here Bay (a seaside town, all links in) that make music that reminds you of very early Sonic Youth with a touch of My Bloody Valentine. Basically, they make fuzzy/distorted music that throttles you and shakes your bones. What isn’t there to love!?
These three lads make enticing noise. The kind of noise that even your Grandma would enjoy (I’m only using my Gran as an example because she once told me she liked The Jesus And Mary Chain) They trash you in the face with the throbbing drums, brutal bass and fuzzy guitar. It is evidently picking up where Shoegaze left off. The thing is, unlike a lot of bands that do this Hunting Ulysses aren’t ripping off that style of music. They’ve essentially made it their own.
Songs like Delicious Ice, although it is a demo, are enough to let your ears know that they have been exposed to something you have been longing to hear. This is the kind of music to as they say (I’ve heard it a few times, it’s a stupid phrase but still stands) “lose your shit” to. Not literally, thankfully. You know what I mean don’t you.
Even with just three demos on their Soundcloud page, it still sounds like a band that have been at it for years and years. A band that sound older than they are. The demos will tease and arouse your ears, leave you wanting more. But, you won’t have to wait long as they have another EP coming out quite soon. Going by these demos, I think it safe to say that Dan, Ethan and Will be providing us with something we quite havent heard before, and that is the pure delight in being introduced to new music isn’t it. Just hearing something different and new in every way possible.
You can listen to Hunting Ulysses here : https://soundcloud.com/hunting-ulysses
They’ll leave a pleasant ringing in your ear, and if you are left wanting more, then you are listening to them right. They mix lo-fi and the essence of Garage rock in such a pure way, you simply cannot find any fault in this. Then again, why on earth would you want to. Go listen, and enjoy.
As I get older, I lose more. I think my mind is the next thing to go. I’m not clinging onto my youth. I will always look younger than I am. I don’t see any harm in this. At least I can pay full fare on the bus when I use it. £1.20 for a 20 minute journey? Piss off. I’m going to walk. And if it rains? Then I just stay indoors. If you cannot enjoy being on your own, nobody else is going to want your company. Having said that, I like being on my own and will never understand why someone would want to spend 2 minutes with me. I don’t mind when strangers sit next to me on the bus. I prefer pensioners because they have cool stories. People my age or younger? I always think they’re going to punch me. But people over here are quite silly so maybe they’d trip up and punch themselves. That’d be alright.
It’s important to have something to lean on isn’t it. To make us feel less vile. I don’t use people in this way. People come and go. I’ve lost more than I’ve gained, but I don’t have attachment issues. Far from it. I’m alright with everything. If you want to go, then go. If you want to stay, bring your own teabags, I’ll give you a cup. I have my good side. It’s overlooked. You see, I never go to a person when something is wrong. Maybe I should, but it doesn’t work for me. You see, nothing is wrong right now (wouldn’t tell you if there was I know) but last night I did that thing where I play one of my favourite songs ever until a sense of calm took over. I’m doing it again now.
Malibu by Hole is the song that I play religiously when I just wish I was somewhere else. Away from everyone else. I always need space. I cannot be around people for too long. Maybe because I get bored, maybe because I just like being quiet. Maybe there are so many reasons and they don’t need to be shared. You see, with this song, it gives me much-needed hope. I have so much love and respect for Courtney Love. More than I can put into words. She’s delicate but has this way of putting the most ugly feelings possible into words that make YOU feel okay with possessing them. When a singer/band can unleash the ugly feelings you have and show them to the world in a way you only wish you could, that’s when you know you have found something that will stay with you for the rest of your life.
The opening verse has the power to make me bawl like a baby and also make me feel invincible all at once. Sometimes one feeling exceeds the other. I just think : “Crash and burn, all the stars explode tonight. How’d you get so desperate? How’d you stay alive?”Is such a beautiful yet painful thing to hear. The longing and desperation in her voice to understand the pain of the person she’s singing it to is overwhelming. I write a lot, and I can only wish and hope I write something as captivating as that verse. One day, maybe I will. I have no idea.
Another thing I utterly adore about this song is the way Courtney’s powerful voice is mixed so gorgeously with Melissa Auf Der Maur’s delicate voice, you really hear it in the chorus but my favourite is when you hear her sing with Courtney, “Don’t lay down and die.”Goosebumps every single time.
I could quite happily pick this song apart and tell you why I love each line. Certain lines stand out more than others, such as; “Get well soon. Please don’t go any higher. How are you so burnt when you’re barely on fire?”Sometimes you have enough before you even start, this puts this across so lovingly and beautifully. It’s the kind of song that part of you thinks, if someone was going to offer words of hope- they’d point you towards this song. I probably would, but I’m too kind for my own good. Or when someone truly knows you and loves you, it’s like they are singing “And I knew the darkest secret of your heart.”with Courtney. It’s just such a powerful song, and I don’t think Courtney has ever been given the credit she deserves with her song-writing skills. I firmly believe she is one of the most underrated frontwomen and song-writers ever. She just offers something others seem to lack right now. She’s always been a wild force, but isn’t afraid to show her frail side. Her frail side is the side that just makes you fall so hopelessly in love with her. Her angsty songs are why you also fall in love with her. Her vulnerability, her passion and the quiet storms she builds up in her music is just beyond anything else.
For me, if it wasn’t for this song certain things would be unbearable. It allows you to feel not okay, and it just soothes you. Of course I can listen to Warpaint and have my soul swayed and feel alright. But this song does what no other song will ever do, and I really cannot put it into words. It’s not that I can’t; I just don’t want to get that personal. I know this song is their most “commercially successful” song, but I don’t care. It’s a fucking lifeline.
There is so much comfort in this song, and every time I listen to it a piece of hope is placed back inside of me. It’s a reminder to not go too far with whatever may be eating at me. You can block the world off, and the only thing to truly get through is music.There always comes a time where asking someone you’re friends with or whatever for help/advice just doesn’t work. They cannot keep you here or something like that; no one can. I’ve never relied on anyone because it never works out. I just use this song. For always. I doubt there will ever come a time where this song just doesn’t give me what I need. The words, Courtney’s voice; just everything. It’s like a mantra. It keeps a hopeless case going.
Anyone who has listened to Dirty Beaches knows just how much of a genius this man is. He has the ability to send you way back in time and show you a taste of the future with his music. His music is like poetry for the soul. A form of escapism whilst still being in the midst of a dark reality. In short, he makes you feel part of something no one else dares to take you.
He’s just put a track from his new record up on YouTube. It’s instrumental and it will break your heart. I’ve not had my heart-broken in a long long time, but listening to the sheer sadness in this song; I feel as if I just have. He’s proven that you do not need words to convey one of the worst feelings anyone can ever feel. With heartbreak comes loneliness. With loneliness comes regret, followed by whatever you feel you can handle. This gorgeously vulnerable track has made me even more excited for his new record (he’s got two coming out on Zoo Music so it’s obvious they’re going to be the best records you’ll hear this year.)
Love Is The Devil is for those looking for hope and it is for those who need an equal balance of good/bad feelings in their lives. The sadness immediately hits you. This song would be perfect for a black and white silent film. Alex aka Dirty Beaches is one of the few musicians I hope one day I get to meet and interview because the way his mind works, and the music he makes just leaves me in awe. Complete awe. This Christmas just gone, my uncle and I had an in-depth discussion about Alex’s music, and we both agreed this has never been done before. I doubt it ever will. I struggle to accept that anyone couldn’t hear the beauty in his work. It’s gentle and passionate; especially Love Is The Devil. Everyone should know that Lord Knows Best is one of the greatest love songs of our time. True Blue is a woeful ode to love. Badlands is a record you need in your life. As are his upcoming releases, and previous.
But for now, shut your eyes. Think of something or someone you miss, and take in this beautiful track.
You know when you hear something, and it doesn’t really sound like music. Music usually follows some form of structure. I dislike structure. I don’t like it. I dislike planning. Live by a quote from Jenny Lee Lindberg, “Organisation is bullshit.” Have some chaos in your life. Structure is bland. Music should be tested, experimented and pushed. When you regiment it, it loses meaning. It appeals to everyone and no one feels the need to seek out anything new. Which is why those talent(less) programmes fuel society. Awful. Ban them, please. You can find bands by accident. The vast majority of what I listen to was found by accident. Usually when I cannot sleep. I then realised staying up until 3am to find new music wasn’t healthy because I was becoming more and more obsessed; I wouldn’t sleep until I found something. Turns out you can find something really wonderful at 4.48pm on a Saturday.
WIFE aka James Kelly may be best known for his talents in the Metal band, Altar Of Plagues. Or you may not know of his music at all. If you don’t, you’re missing out. You really really are. He has the incredible way over casting night-time upon you; complete and utter darkness as soon as you listen to him. The very start of Endings has an eerie vibe to it. His music has an apocalyptic feel to it. This is the kind of music you’d want to listen to as you meet your maker, or the equivalent of.
For those who are partial to zoning out whilst listening to music (I am one of you, I always do it) Wife is the perfect artist to do that to. You cannot help but zone out and fall into this underworld he has created. The dark beats and haunting vocals are nothing short of divine. It’s another kind of ethereal. You cannot help but think you’ve been waiting a lifetime for this. I always want to hear something that just blows my mind. I don’t care for what genre it is; I just want it to make me feel like I am on a different planet. That everyday life is behind me, that I have found something sacred. I got that immediately as soon as I heard Wife. He is easily one of the best artists from Ireland. Regardless of where he is from actually, he’s just one of the best artists around. End of.
I refuse to ever place a singer/band in any genre. I find that disrespectful in a way, and I’m not a fan of labelling stuff (this could come from my dislike of structure/routine) I think I have an obsession developing with the beat to Bodies. It sounds like Portishead mixed with Burial; the vocals sound hazy. Almost drunk-like. It is absolutely stunning. I’m unsure how to listen to anything else after hearing this. Really bloody unsure.
His EP, Stoic is out now. I cannot express enough how much you need this EP in your life. It is a sacred piece of music. Listen to it as it gets dark. Freak yourself out, and fall into the depths of a different world. Cloaked in darkness but so comforting. So pure. Just bloody wonderful.
‘Somebody was trying to tell me that CDs are better than vinyl because they don’t have any surface noise. I said, “Listen, mate, *life* has surface noise.” ‘~ John Peel.
There are a few things in life that really piss me off, but they aren’t that important so I let them go. There are things I do not understand, so again, I let them go. For instance, I do not understand why a person would link their Twitter account or Tumblr account to Facebook. Why would you do that? Or, why would you watch a programme and update Facebook or whatever every 5 seconds about it. Don’t get me started on those who did the whole “IT’S SNOWING OUTSIDE” shit. I have eyes, I can see- I also have windows. Cheers Michael Fish. Pointless. These things aren’t really important because it shows how boring our lives have become. I’m not an interesting person. My daily routine consists of going to the gym for 2 hours, come home and look for jobs until I feel my self-worth leave me and I start to hate everything. I then go listen to my records and read a book. I also do a lot of writing. Writing that no one will ever see, because I can handle someone saying “Olivia, that shit you write on your site is awful please stop.” I’ll stop one day, rejoice in that. But if someone read what I wrote in my notebooks and said “Your poetry is WAAAAAAAAANK.” I don’t know how I’d deal with that. It’s probably why I’m too much of a wuss to ever get anything published, let alone read. Sure I’ve shown the odd poem/song to a few but I know they’re only saying it’s alright so they don’t offend me. Racisim, homophobia, any form of discrimination offends me. Telling me I’m crap at something doesn’t mean as much. I’ll toughen up. Lord knows I’m trying. This leads onto something, but I’ve gone round the houses to get there.
I am massively against downloading music. I hate it and I’d like to punch those that do. It’s on a par with those who use Kindles and think it is better than picking up a book. A book, made out of paper that if you drop it..IT DOESN’T BREAK. Imagine breaking someone’s Kindle..oh the sheer joy. Don’t get me started on iPads and whatnot. I’m not a technophobe, I just see how technology is making people more and more stupid; and how they cannot function unless they have some kind of gadget in their hand.
Alright so, I’m against downloading music. Why? Because I want to be able to HOLD the cd/cassette/vinyl in my hand. I want to go into a shop and interact with the staff (you can tell I worked at HMV,right?) I want to wander around for ages and find something I thought I’d never find again. I want to get butterflies in my belly when I find a record I adore. I want all of that, and I don’t want some idiot telling me that record stores are dying out, that we must download. Piss right OFF.
I’ve taken to going to the market in town to buy my records because it is truly my idea of heaven. I go there when I’m having a rough day. I take some money out of my account, and I clutch it in my pocket hoping I find something. I always do. Always. I’ve found Transformer by Lou Reed, a Sarah Vaughan LP and a few 7″ singles by The Jesus And Mary Chain. I’ll never win the lottery, but finding these and more was my equivalent of doing so. There’s something so peaceful (and personal) about going record shopping. I feel the same way about books too. I’m not really someone you want to go book/record shopping with because I can (and do) spend hours just looking; always leaving with something. I remember the first time I went to the market to buy some records, and the old man said to me “We never get any young people in here buying records” and we just had a discussion for about 20 minutes about the beauty of records. I think I’m a 70-year-old trapped in a 26 year old’s body. I was born at the wrong time, and I’ll never fit in. I’ve accepted this as not being a bad thing. I’ve always been like this.
My mum used to play a record with Scott McKenzie and Jefferson Airplane on when I was a baby to get me to sleep. I used to pretend I couldn’t sleep just so I could listen to it. It was the crackling sound at the end of every song that used to make my heart skip a beat. It was the crackling sound that made the imperfections so perfect. You cannot get this from downloading a song, you just can’t. It doesn’t feel personal. It doesn’t feel as if it was made for you.
I’m fortunate enough to be sent a lot of free music. I don’t do this to get free music, so far from it. If I didn’t write about music, I’d have no reason. I really wouldn’t. I get sent free music, but for the most part I go out and buy it on cd/vinyl as soon as its out. I couldn’t call myself a music lover and never buy music. That’d be hypocritical, and just wrong. It’d go against all I believe in, and I don’t like it when someone tries to sway me on things like this. Hate it. I’m not writing this to call out people who download or whatever. I couldn’t care less. It’s just, I know there is percentage of music lovers out there who love spending hours in record shops, holding the record and going home to listen to it.
There’s another thing that irks me a lot about this. People who think it’s alright to leak new records or to just download an album without paying for it. It pisses me off because, these musicians- their music is their LIFE. That’s how they make their money. Would you go to your local shop and steal some milk? No, you wouldn’t. So why is a shop keeper any different to your favourite musician? If they’re your favourite musician, surely you’d want to pay for the music so you could support them. Steal their music= they never make any money which means they never tour and you bitch about never seeing them. Pay for their music=they make a living and you get to see them live. For me, it’s a no brainer. The latter will ALWAYS win.
I adore the fact that so many new bands are putting their music out on cassette. I bought a few last year, and one came in the post this morning (thank you to Bek at Soft Power Records!) and I may not play them as much as I’d play a CD because I don’t want the quality to be ruined. The same goes for my records. I own two records by The Ink Spots that I refuse to play to death. I don’t want the quality to fade. These guys were around in the 30s/40s; the way their records sounds to this digital bollocks is, well, you just cannot compare at all. I will take the crackling imperfections over the over-produced dullness any day.
I have a lot of love reserved for the likes of Sacred Bones, Art Fag, Soft Power Records and Zoo Music because they put out music on tape and vinyl. It appeals to those who spend hours getting lost in record shops. Lost in their own little world and when they find something they’ve been aching to find; well, there’s nothing on earth you can compare it to. Collecting limited edition 7″ singles from your favourite band is so beautiful. When I’m 80, I’ll still be playing them with fond memories. I love going to record shops and buying a record on the day it comes out. I used to miss lessons at college and university to do this. I once did it when I bought Bleed Like Me by Garbage. I got off the bus, my mum got on the bus. “You’re home early.” I told her the truth, she said it was alright. She understands.
Last year the sales of vinyl went up, but sadly that isn’t enough to shut these gadget obsessed fools up is it. I think if you have to explain why its important, then maybe you’re fighting a losing battle. I don’t wish to convert anyone or anything like that; mainly because my words don’t hold that much power nor will anyone read this. I know if anyone does, they’ll just assume I’m a dick. They don’t know me, so I guess they’re pathetic for passing judgement. I haven’t written anything as long as this in a while. It’s a shame so many words have gone to waste, but we all need to unleash our frustrations at times don’t we.
I personally don’t think record shops are going to die out. People are still going to want to physically purchase music. There’s a record shop in Soho that has a record by The Walker Brothers that I’m going to try to get next week/the week after. I’ll be spending my time wisely (I’m using it as a reward for when I’ve handed my CV out to anyone who will take it!) Record shop owners are as passionate about selling you music as the musicians are as making it. My dream has always been to own my own record shop, but I have no money so that’s one I can just kiss goodbye. Music is such an important force. To dumb it down and make people just download music without going to a shop and buying it..it’s just really sad. You can tie it in with how society is fucked, but you don’t need me to tell you that. I’m pretty sure you can work that one out yourself.
I’ll give you some songs from bands that have put out some brilliant tapes/vinyl recently. Go support your local record shop. They need you, and you need them.
FEATHERS are the most blissed-out band I ever did hear. I’ve heard a lot of bands that are similar to them before, and I know I throw my love about for some bands around all too freely (I just love music) but with Feathers; it is genuine. It’s always genuine. Yet there is something about Feathers that is just so perfect, it’s hard to believe a band like this exist. I don’t know where to place my joy right now. Being shown a band like Feathers or the delight at the lineup of this year’s Primavera Sound festival…THE JESUS AND MARY CHAIN AND NICK CAVE ON THE SAME LINEUP. Fuck you if you’re not getting excited over that. I’m far too excited about it; but I know I won’t be going. So my excitement as ever, is null and void. In my head and heart; I will be there. Imagine if they toured together. I’m going to have a hernia if I carry on thinking about that. So, FEATHERS.
Feathers are as delicate as their name. Their sounds gently flow in and out of your ears. I’ve only heard 3 songs but I know they’re going to be incredible. They have a song (which is their debut single) called Land Of The Innocent. It’d fit perfectly in some dystopian film. It has a highly haunting vibe to it, but it leaves you immersed in awe. I’ve had it on repeat for a while now. I don’t think I know what the stop button is right now. The vocals are simply perfect. The purity that comes through makes you wish you could sing. Makes you wish you could be as fascinating as this band. All you can do is take in their music, and act as if it was written for you.
Feathers have that relaxed feel that Warpaint have; except Feathers have synths. Synths can be overbearing and just crap at times. Feathers use them wisely. Much like the likes of Cold Cave do. There’s a hidden darkness here which is married into the synths. Female Cold Cave? Why not. Why bloody not. There is something about Feathers that just sends you into another universe. One full of hidden pieces of heaven that is sacred to you, and only known by you. These glorious sounds are enough to cheer up the most grumpy souls (ie:ME!) Their music elevates the soul, purifies the mind and makes the body want to flail around like a careless drunken dancer. Just let them take you over, because I doubt any other band will this year.
They have a song called Soft which sounds nothing like Land Of The Innocent. This one has more of a German electro feel to it with a hint of the New Romantics era. I think I have found my ideal band of the year. I’m utterly blown away by how brilliant a band can be, with not even a single/record out yet. Their debut record is out this year, thankfully. I doubt I could wait. I’d probably fall victim to some form of madness, a desperate bout of insanity because I craved a record. It’ll happen one day (it’s actually happened as I wait for the new Warpaint record, I need it NOW.)
Feathers are nothing short of divine. I know nothing about them but I do know I have fallen hopelessly in love with their music. Thank goodness a band like this exist.
“Monday – humiliation. Tuesday – suffocation. Wednesday – condescension. Thursday – is pathetic. By Friday life has killed me.”
I’ve had the lyrics to this song playing around my head since Sunday. No other song has remained in my head/thoughts aside from this song. I’ve taken to playing it on repeat to figure out what it is that has caused this. Aside from Morrissey pretty much being my idol, I don’t know if I have any other explanation.
I binned off the gym today and went for a long walk instead. I wanted to walk at a pace that meant I could listen to this song over and over, and think about all this song means to me rather than spending two hours sweating a lot and thinking, “WHY DID YOU LET YOURSELF GET SO FAT.” I’ll make up for it tomorrow.
So I walked and walked playing I Have Forgiven Jesus over and over. I thought about things I didn’t want to, so managed to get rid of them and focused on Morrissey’s lyrics and what they mean to me. We are born pure and free of all the bad things we expose ourselves to/are exposed to by others. We choose to be how we are at times. But other times, it just happens. When we have no say in how we are, it unleashes this unruly fury within and you try to blame something or someone. Blame religion, blame how society didn’t hand it to you, blame a parent for not being there. But you never want to take the blame yourself. I can take the blame myself, and others will give me the blame too. You learn to carry it, and you adapt to being a burden to most. Keep quiet. In my head I am tough, but the rest of me knows I am anything but. I Have Forgiven Jesus is a plea. “Why did stick me in self-deprecating bones and skin?”Of all the things I’ve ever wondered, that is top of my list. It’s easier to be rough on yourself isn’t it. Doesn’t get to you as much when someone else has a go.
For me, this song goes beyond being a comfort for teenage angst well once had. It becomes a crutch for the despair we sometimes feel as being an adult. I don’t know which is worse, but songs like this make it easier. If I was never introduced to Morrissey’s music (from a VERY young age) I don’t know if my passion for music and words would be as grand as they are. You can seek comfort and reasoning in many things. Mine will ALWAYS be in music, and more than likely- Morrissey’s music. I’ve written this for Morrissey fans for they will understand this more than most.
The way the world is, and how some are it is easy to fully understand Morrissey’s frustrations here : “And why did you give me so much love in a loveless world?”You can carry all the love in world within you, but when you have no way of letting it out, what does the love turn to? That’s your own call.
I’ve been fortunate enough to see Morrissey play my favourite songs live, or if you want to be totally honest; the songs that saved my life. I’ve seen Speedway live, I don’t think I can ever find the words to describe that moment. I know I’ll never witness I Have Forgiven Jesus live, and I don’t know how I’d cope with that. I’d probably try to get on stage with Morrissey and hug him. Then try to blurt out a “Thank you” amongst the tears I’d be trying (but failing) to fight off.
I do have an issue with organised religion, but I don’t think I need to vocalise it. Nobody needs to know, but it’ll obviously be because it’s to do with me being gay. I find it hard to believe in a god or follow a religion that opposes of love; regardless of who it is with. Love is love; and it isn’t your business who it is between. There’s so much hate in the world, why add to it by being a judgemental and unaccepting wanker? There’s just no need.
I could summed this all up in a sentence or two, but I suppose Morrissey just makes me want to write. Morrissey may have forgiven Jesus but I doubt I ever will. Or maybe it just doesn’t require any more thought. I remember going to Church when I was younger, and I always felt like I didn’t belong. I just don’t like walking round Churches or being in them. It always feels wrong to me. Of course I know it is important to believe in something, I’ll always take the Spiritual path. Always. It feels wrong to me because I have no connection to any religion. I’m not saying I’m an Atheist or anything like that. There’s something out there, of course there is. But who is to say what it is? None of us have died and come back to tell us what is there. These are the kind of thoughts that can take up far too much time when other things could take its place.
I could quite happily carry on writing about my love for this song but, enough is enough.
“Dawn cracks the dark, And it breaks the silence. Of my waking hours, And my heartbeat’s license.”
I was walking home earlier, and for most of the journey I had one song on repeat. I do this a lot; find a song to love and just play it until my ears no longer wish to hear it. Of course when it comes to Dum Dum Girls (and others) there are songs of theirs I will never grow tired of. As I was walking, I had a thought; and this is where it gets dangerous. Stop reading.
I was listening to DDG’s cover of Trees And Flowers on repeat as I was walking home. I felt, even though Dee Dee didn’t write the song, she summed up every little thought floating around me- in head and heart. I walked and carried every single word. You see, I have this fear (you could call it me being stupid if you want) that I’m going to be one of these people who die having done nothing of worth. I know we create our own self-worth and shouldn’t let others define it, but there comes a time where people’s views on you just drains you. Their expectations crush you, and you want to remove yourself from them. 26 being treated like a 6-year-old. You build up resentment towards people. But you cannot express it, so you turn it into self-resentment. It’s easier to dislike yourself and beat yourself up than it is to let someone else do it. Thing is, people are cruel. To each other and to themselves. Not everyone is gentle and kind. Not everyone wants to be. I try, and one day I’ll grow tired of trying.
“For I hate the trees, And I hate the flowers. And I hate the buildings. And the way they tower over me. Can’t you see. I get so frightened, No one else seems frightened. Only me.”
I wish I could write as beautifully as this, but I just write honest nonsense that holds no worth. Or I just need to find something I’m good at. One day, one day. And typically so, it will be too late.
Trees And Flowers is a guide and a safety net. I have unspoken fear within me, and I’ll keep it unmentioned for I don’t think we should discuss our fears because people will use them against you. Sometimes they will be obvious with it, sometimes they will be subtle. Regardless of how they do it, they sure will. DDG’s version of this song adds a lot more loneliness and vulnerability to it compared to the original by Strawberry Switchblade. Dee Dee’s voice has never sounded so pure and vulnerable. If you’re going to cover a song, you should make it your own. Dee Dee goes beyond this. She makes you feel as if she wrote it, and she wanted to share this frightening feeling with whoever hears it, so they felt less alone with what they carry around with them.
Of course, I could be entirely wrong with all of this. Maybe I am. I don’t strive to ever be right and it doesn’t bother me admitting when I’m wrong. I worry when I’m right or if anyone should agree with me. A worrying thought for sure. I do constantly worry that my own (lack of) self-worth is going to do a lot more harm than it should, the only solution to it is out of my hands. In the space of 7 days I have sent out 50 job applications. I’m constantly being told I’m not trying hard enough or whatever. If I was violent, I’d probably punch them. But I cannot waste my strength on people who are a bit toss can I? No. I can’t. They just add to it. As do I. I’d go mental if I didn’t write, or go to the gym. It’s an outlet to frustrations out of my hands.
Trees And Flowers, as sad as some of the lyrics are, is a piece of hope. I’ll cling onto it, it’s all I can do.
Beat In My Bones. 