NICK CAVE & THE BAD SEEDS: Manchester Arena- 25/09/2017

2017_featured_nickcave2

 

Never in my life did I ever think I would see Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds live. I treated them like mythical god-like beings that I would worship but never see. It all changed last night. Everything changed last night. I know I always say it but, I can honestly say that Monday night’s show was the best gig I had ever been to. Nothing is ever going to top it. I don’t want anything to ever top it. It was something I thought I could prepare myself for, but honestly nothing can prepare you for ever seeing your idol.
I’ve allowed a few days to pass so I can process what I saw and felt on Monday night and to be honest I think it is one of those things I’ll never get my head around. Prior to Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds arriving on stage, the atmosphere was tense. A lot of people had picked up on it and it was just so heavy. I heard people mention what had happened and how they could sense it. It was an odd environment but as soon they stepped on stage, everything changed.

As soon as they graced the stage, tears fell from my eyes. The tears were from years and years of waiting. Years of admiring this poster I remember seeing to having the man himself stood in close proximity. It was entirely surreal.

The bulk of the set was Skeleton Tree. I’ve only listened to the record a handful of times. It’s such a gorgeous record but the circumstance surrounding it is heartbreaking. However, seeing these songs live changed it all. The emotion was there but more so- I was in awe of all of them. Every single person on that stage is a genius and the best musicians I have ever seen.

For me, the way Warren takes an instrument like the violin and turns it into this wild weapon like a machine gun blew my mind. He took something calming and whipped up a heavenly storm. It felt like the inside of my head when I have a panic attack, except I felt totally at ease with it all.

I know it is utterly expected but I need to write about Into My Arms. It’s a song that has come to mean everything to me. It’s always reminded me of someone, and to finally be able to hold her close as they performed this perfect dedication of love meant the world. And I could see just how much it meant to everyone in the venue.

From Her To Eternity sent me off on a whirlwind. If I could live in the moment of any song, it would have to be that. It’s one of the most important song to me by anyone. From the lyrics, the music, the title and Nick’s voice- it is just a perfect work of art that I always remember being one of the first Bad Seeds songs I ever heard. Those moments stay with you, and so does seeing it live. It’s a moment that you want to always stay in.

From Her To Eternity went right into Tupelo. It was like a storm arriving. It was wild and it was untameable. Every little detail just made you fall deeply in love with the band. More than you already were, and to think it wasn’t possible!

One moment in the set made me cry harder than most. I really didn’t think Jubilee Street would make me cry at all. It’s a song I’ve loved but never did I think I’d get myself in a state. Towards the end of the song when Nick powerfully and beautifully  (I’m getting goosebumps writing this) sings “I’m transforming, I’m vibrating, I’m glowing. Look at me now!” If I could describe in a way that does this moment justice, I would. But if you were there or if you’ve ever seen them do this live, I hope you understand what I mean and what I’m getting at.

Higgs Boson Blues felt like a punch to the face, like your soul was being shaken up. There are songs I wish they did but honestly they could have sung the weather and I’d have been happy, and still declared it as the best gig I’ve ever been to.

As I watched Nick be propped up by the crowd with their hands reaching out to him waiting to be touched and held- I kept thinking it was like a sermon. The stage is their altar and we are their dedicated followers. At one point Nick announces how gorgeous Warren is and he also discusses his purple socks with a guy in the crowd. At the encore, I think he hands him one of his socks. There was also an idiot who twice yelled at Nick, “Get your dick out!” I don’t condone violence, but I wish Nick found the doofus and smacked him in the choppers.

I’m not a religious person, but this gig felt like a religious experience. I’m totally fine with Nick being my god and my teacher. I clung onto every word he sang with such hope, love and admiration. Nothing has felt the same since. I feel as if I could be okay with never going to a gig again after seeing them because let’s face it, nothing in this world is ever going to top it. As I gazed up at the stage, I felt 3 years old again staring at the poster on my uncle’s wall with curious eyes and anticipating what would happen if I delved deeper.

I loved when Nick walked into the crowd in the seating area. He stood like a majestic creature. Controlling the crowd with hand claps and silencing us when he wished. We would do anything he wanted. The stage invasion was such a beautiful moment. To see that many people on stage with the band they adore was just beautiful, and as the set ended with Push The Sky Away everything felt alright. What comes next is going to be okay, no matter what.

I’m sure I have missed out many things that happened, but I’m still trying to stay in that moment of seeing them live, finally. Of course if I had the money I’d have happily done the whole tour. The crowd were wonderful, the band were phenomenal. There are so many reasons as to why this is the best gig I’ve ever been to and if you were there, you’d understand.

Nick Cave. The Bad Seeds. From Them To Eternity….

NICK CAVE & THE BAD SEEDS: Skeleton Tree.

gallery-1464874465-nick-cave-skeleton

“I called out, I called out
Right across the sea
But the echo comes back in, dear
And nothing is for free.”

To write about something knowing the circumstance, even if you are a huge fan, proceeds to give you an unsettling feeling inside. If you’ve listened to Skeleton Tree, you may have felt uneasy and as if you’re experience grief and loss. If anything, this record, teaches you how to feel or how to be aware of how you feel. For me, that’s something I have always taken from Nick Cave’s music. But this time around, something isn’t sitting right. It isn’t sitting right because we know the circumstance. There’s comfort in this record but there’s a wealth of pain that is striking.

I grew up on Nick Cave’s music. Boys Next Door to his sixteenth record with The Bad Seeds, every record has had some impact on me. It’s been there when a person has, and hasn’t been there. It’s a safety net and a handbook for life because I just never seem to know what I’m doing. Writing about Skeleton Tree is tough. I’ve never written about a record I didn’t love. This is a record I love, that’s obvious. I just find it hard to allow myself to have any solid opinion because of the heart of it. The lyrics are gorgeous, and the lyrics justify once more, why Nick Cave is my favourite song-writer of all time. He doesn’t write songs, let’s be honest. They aren’t songs. They go beyond that, they go beyond being bodies of art. Beyond being 4 minute symphonies and 6 minute wonders. Genius. It’s the only word to describe him.

Jesus Alone was the first song we heard from Skeleton Tree. When I heard it, I knew in the pit of my stomach that on 9th September 2016 I would not be listening to a record that sits easy and fits perfectly amongst my collection. This is one that falls into sacred listening. I’ll gladly talk about this record with anyone, but by no means would I want to listen to with anyone around me. It’s a record you need to be alone with. You need to be completely and utterly alone.

Girl In Amber has lines that are just nothing short of painful but absolutely beautiful. It’s not always what Nick says but how he does so. The pain in “Don’t touch me” is so raw. We’ve all felt something so terrible, and the thought of being comforted hurts more. You don’t want any form of physical contact, but you give in to it because sometimes that is all there is. That’s all that can fix it.

I’ve listened to Skeleton Tree enough times now to say that Magneto possess my favourite lyrics.  My heart broke when I heard this, “Oh, the urge to kill somebody was basically overwhelming. I had such hard blues down there in the supermarket queues. And I had a sudden urge to become someone, someone like you.” This song is one of the heaviest on the records and is so gripping and heart-breaking. The more I listen to it, the more I find certain parts to relate to. It does not make for easy listening, and it isn’t a record you play in the background to kill some time. The complete opposite.

I’ve always been drawn to the way Nick writes about love and religion. I’m not a religious person, but I love the way in which he writes about God and what might be above and below us. I love the way he writes about love in a beautiful way that shows its good and ugly side. I Need You shows this exceptionally fragile side of his words that makes it one of the best moments on the record. Take the song however you want. I’ve not made my mind up. The words will break the toughest of hearts, and part of you squirms when you listen to it because of how painful it is. It is nearly 6 minutes of desperation and pleading of the heart. His voice has this different tone to it, a tone I’ve not heard from him before. You can sense the grief, and part of me doesn’t want this to be my favourite off Skeleton Tree because of how open and vulnerable it is. But when your hero can make something like this, you feel less alone. However, I may say it is my favourite but I still can’t listen to the whole song. There’s a part that just ruins me, and I have to move on to the next song.

In a way, Skeleton Tree feels like the stages of grief. Distant Sky gives you hope. Else Torp’s vocals add something quite haunting to the song, and it works so well. Her voice and Nick’s- it is a perfect match that adds comfort and reassurance.

In under 40 minutes, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds take us on a journey through emotions we all wish to never feel. But, it’s inevitable. We will all experience a loss of some kind, and if you are one of the lucky ones who haven’t- this record will easily make you feel as if you have. I think if I had watched the film before listening to the record, maybe I’d say more of worth. I never really wanted to write about Skeleton Tree. It doesn’t feel right in me doing so, but there was something at the back of my mind that needed to get this out at length. I messaged my uncle earlier about the record, and we both agreed that Nick Cave can do no wrong. Irrespective of the circumstance, it’s their sixteenth record and it’s brilliant. It is painful to listen to, but the way Nick does it makes you feel like he is stood next to you as the words fall into your ear.

The title track closes the record, and ends with echoes of “And it’s alright now.” Music is a solid source of security and a way of coping. Both for the person creating it, and the person listening to it. Skeleton Tree evokes this to the very core. I could go on and on about how much I love the record and how much I love him, but every single song reinforces my love for Nick Cave and his words. They’ve got me through hell and back. I can only hope that this record has done

What 20,000 Days On Earth Taught Me.

 

 

 

Last Friday I took the day off work. I past a poster of Nick Cave’s film at a tube station, immediately checked the showings and made my way to the cinema. I’ve never been to the cinema on my own before, but I felt 20,000 Days On Earth was a film I had to see on my own. Mainly because I didn’t want whoever I went with to talk through it or slag it off in any way afterwards. Nick’s a hero of mine, and this felt like some kind of ritualistic viewing that just had to be done on my own.

I’m rubbish with sitting through films. I can think of other things I’d much rather be doing mid-way such as taking a nap. I would rather create my own world through reading a book or through a piece of music. I knew I wasn’t going to be taken anywhere in particular when watching 20,ooo Days. I went with the hopes of learning and with more love for Nick Cave than I had done before.

You know the story about my love for Nick Cave. It all started with being fascinated with a poster of him on my uncle’s bedroom wall at my grandma’s old house. I used to go up to his room whilst he was out, and just stare in awe at this massive poster of him. I don’t know what it was about it, but I was just obsessed with looking at it. As I got older and heard his words, it became clear why this man was going to be such a vital part of my life. He explained to me what romantic love was before I was subjected to it later than most.

What I learnt from his film was the madness, torture and passion that goes into writing. It doesn’t matter if you are poet or a journalist, you will experience self-doubt, self-hate and the inability to sleep before 3am. You torture yourself to get something good out of you. I did it for years. I relied on naps, custard creams and bad films on BBC2 to get me through daily life. The less I had, the more I wrote. That’s the only way I can put it. I had no money and too much time, the combination of this meant staying up to write anything, something…just so I could. The love to write about music is there, really because I’ve only ever really sat down with one person to speak about music with. That ship has now sailed, for I am frequently told that what I listen to is shit, depressing and/or weird. It teaches you to shut up, but I still write. There must be someone out there. Possibly. Hello.

20,000 Days was not a film I was expecting to have such an emotional grip on me. I am fully aware that seeing it once was not enough. I will more than likely go back to see it, because I want to pick up any details I may have missed out. Anyone who loves and adores Nick Cave would quite happily sit through an hour and half of him reading the phonebook- that’s not the point. What he did with this film was quite simply make me understand exactly why I love him- his mind. A person’s mind is their best quality. Sure we all say looks do count, but the mind is something really powerful and worthy of getting to know. Just because someone wears a nice shirt and has a good jaw line doesn’t mean their mind is any good. They may be really vacant upstairs and can only tell you what the TV tells them.

A few things Nick said during this film have really stuck with me. Like a line from a song that you feel was made just for you. I’ll start with this one:

Your limitations make you the wonderful disaster you most probably are.”  There is no one on this planet who has never fucked up. Remember that. I balls things up on a daily basis, I can’t imagine not ever making a mistake daily. As you get older, you stop caring. I’ve recently been panicking about turning 28 in a few months, and I’ve kept my insecurities to myself, I always have. Hearing someone who I deem as a hero say these words has made a lot of things easier. Those who have never fucked up have never lived. Remember that also. I know what I can do, and what I can’t do. The things I cannot do no longer bother me, I simply accept that they are things I’m just not meant to do or even acknowledge. I’m alright with that. We are all disastrous in our own way, but it doesn’t have to rule you.

-“Mostly I write. Tapping and scratching away, day and night sometimes. But if I ever stopped for long enough to question what I’m actually doing- the why of it- well I couldn’t really tell you… I don’t know.  This one really does speak for itself, I suppose. If you ask anyone why they do something they love, it comes to a point where they can no longer tell you- it just is a part of them that they cannot define. I think, sometimes if you cannot explain why you love something that is enough. When you have a career based on words, sometimes you realise that words aren’t enough to describe it. Does that make sense? In my head it did, but written down it probably doesn’t. I once tried to figure out why I love writing about music, it freaked me out slightly so I stopped. I panicked a little and went back to whatever level of normal I am.

-“Songwriting is like putting a child in a room with a Mongolian warrior and then adding a clown and if the clown doesn’t work you kill the clown.” Quite possibly may have misquoted it, but you get the point. His description on how to write a song is pretty accurate. It is a form of torture but also an intense release. His songs have a glorious sense of euphoric madness to them, and he’s not someone you listen to casually on and off. He’s someone who, once you listen to whether it be The Birthday Party or with the Bad Seeds, that’s you hooked for life. For me, it was The Birthday Party that did it for me. I loved their somewhat aggressive sound, and I do think that Rowland S. Howard was one of the greatest guitarist of all time. Combine that with Nick’s genius way with words, and you have an untouchable band. Nick’s way with words can teach you what love is. Love in the way that no one else has ever really portrayed. It isn’t all leisurely walks in the parks whilst gazing at the sky. It goes deeper than that. It challenges you and the person you love. For better and for worse, it is there. His way with words is not enviable at all, he just makes you realise that there is nobody quite like him and you couldn’t imagine anyone ever coming close to just how brilliant he is. The world would be a better place if we all took time out from our day to listen to Let Love In from start to finish, every single day.

I don’t know what I was expecting from the film, or if I was expecting anything at all- but I learnt a lot. I cried at some parts during the film. When he spoke about his father, and when his father said he looked like an angel on stage- that got to me. When he said losing his memory/mind was something he feared, that hit me right in the gut. When the woman in the front row cried during Stagger Lee (it was Stagger Lee, right? I could be wrong) as Nick was holding her hand, that got me teary eyed. The film was made up of beautiful moments that just made me love Nick Cave more than I thought I possibly could.

 

Oh, and Happy 57th Birthday Nick!

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds-Push The Sky Away.

 

It is impossible to write about a person and a band that are so perfect, that no words can do them justice. All the words and phrases that float about your head then crash into some kind of frenzy just aren’t good enough to sum up everything you are hearing and everything it makes you feel. You can wait forever fo this (by “forever” I mean a few years) and when it hits you, it is the most glorious feeling ever. I’ve been reluctant to write anything recently because I heard the new record by a band that I’ve loved from a very very young age. A band that after 21 years released a new record. There wasn’t much hype, just sincere anticipation. Patience failed me that day, and I felt uneasy writing about anything. Thus proving, not everything is worth waiting for.

But Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds you see mean more. A lot more. Nick Cave is on a par with Morrissey and Patti Smith; he means that much to me. The words, the wisdom, the voice; it is everything. Was waiting for Push The Sky Away worth it? Thankfully it is. It exceeds all expectations and fills a music based gap. It feels like a dream that we have that haunts us yet we allow it to hold some meaning, and everything we do is a step to figuring it all out.

Writing about Nick Cave in any capacity is something that makes you realise how much you love him. As I listen to Push The Sky Away, I feel like that 4-year-old who sat staring at my uncle’s poster of him on his wall. I stared at it for what seemed hours. My gran used to find me staring at this poster and I remember asking her, “Who is that man?” And she said, “That’s Nick Cave.” I remember it so well, and the look in Nick’s eyes in the poster. It made me feel like he was staring at me. Maybe it was a sign, I have no idea. I’m not that mental. But go forward into my early teens and an obsession flared up and stayed with me ever since. As I listen to Push The Sky Away, I feel like that 4-year-old left in awe of someone who would later become my hero for many many reasons.

Push The Sky Away is a record that I feel is a lot more relaxed than any other The Bad Seeds record. My heart is always going to be with The Birthday Party, just because I love the sheer aggression in the music. However, with The Bad Seeds there is a lot more poetry and soul to the music. Of course Nick Cave is basically a poet, regardless of who he is making music with. But with The Bad Seeds, there is an element of poetry to it all. There are so many romantic tones drifting in and out of Push The Sky Away, and these are the reasons as to why I adore Nick Cave. He can be utterly dark yet so tender with his words at the same time. There aren’t many that do this, and if they do; do they do it as well as Nick Cave? Well, that’s a personal opinion. Don’t force it upon anyone.

Higgs Boson Blues is easily my favourite off Push The Sky Away. Maybe after I’ve played it a few more (hundred) times I may change my mind. I’m not entirely sure, but Higgs Boson Blues makes you shut your eyes and imagine you are sat next to Nick Cave driving to nowhere in particular. The open windows cause the dust in the roads to hit your eyes, mildly irritating them but as you wipe it away it is like wiping away the dirt of life. Push The Sky Away is like a re-birth, a cleansing of the soul and the start of something new. All you once had no longer matters. You’ll find meaning in any song by The Bad Seeds. You’ll find anything and everything. A swirl of emotions that make you realise that THIS is the record you have been waiting for.