Author Archives: Olivia

Metric-Synthetica.

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“I got nothing but time, so the future is mine.”

 

You wait and you wait. You wait until you want to cry because it hurts to wait. You want to destroy any record that isn’t THIS record. Then it comes out, or the band stream it before it comes out. Your body freezes. You cannot form words. Your mind resembles this : “FKESORJEROITUPOGJUEPOUFKJSDTUIEYOGAQHU!!!!!!!” You want to go up to people and just tell them about this record. You want to tell them EVERYTHING it makes you feel. Thing is, you no of nobody who will give two fucks about what you feel. So what do you do? You play the record, and you unleash all your emotions into some kind of review in the hopes someone responds with, “I understand. I feel the same.” That’s all you search for. You want someone to connect to the bullshit you write. Thing is, it is your feelings, so it cannot be bullshit. You hope that a Metric fan far (or near maybe) away reads it and loves the record as much as you do.

With that brief outburst done (there’s going to be more) I’m not even sure if I can control how I feel right now. I don’t think I can. You see, all of Metric’s record mean the world to me. I cannot pick a favourite song or record. I love each very much. Each record holds a lot of meaning to me. Live It Out gives me hope. Fantasises got me through hell. Old World Underground is always going to be my “baby.” Grow Up And Blow Away is perfect. Even their EPs are held as highly. I just don’t think I can put all my love out there . I just can’t.

A change of pace is always needed, but cling onto your youth kids. That is the vibe you are going to get from this record. If you don’t enjoy it, maybe you’ve got too much wax in your ears.

When I interviewed Jimmy and Emily in 2009 it was right after I got dumped. I was totally fine speaking to Jimmy. It was more about the musicianship about the band. As soon as I spoke to Emily, I felt myself just become a mess. At some point I just blurted out why Blindness means the world to me. We spoke about that for a while. I listened back to the interview straight after it was over. It was too personal for me to type up, and I took a vow to never ever type it up. Maybe one day I’ll stop being such an arse and type it up. I’m not sure. Thing is, when you feel that low you want to do all you can to never go back there again. It’s fair to say I’ve never felt that way again. If it happens again, I’ll probably heal myself by typing it up again.

Should probably talk about the record now.

The album opens with the powerful and heart-hitting Artificial Nocturne. It’s 5 minutes and 42 seconds of heaven. I adore the line, “I’m just as fucked up as they say.” I am pretty sure us Metric fans are going to fall so in love with that line and quote it anywhere and everywhere we can. We can be fucked up together, right? This record won’t fuck you up. It’ll fix you up- no problem.

The record is basically a dreaming state. It makes you feel like you are dreaming because it is so bloody ethereal. I cannot find any fault in it. Every song has a euphoric build-up. Every song is perfect in its own way. Every song is the song that sums up how you feel. Every song makes you feel so fucking alive.

Now, I’m going to address something real quick because I reckon it’ll pop up. Remember when dicks said Metric sold out when they did a song for the Twilight soundtrack? As someone who doesn’t understand why someone would enjoy Twilight, I was a bit dubious that my favourite band were going to be part of something I really dislike. I heard the song. I became obsessed with the song. It is a gorgeous love song that makes you think maybe..just maybe, someone will feel this way about you. Or maybe you’ll feel this way about someone. I’m going to assume people will say Metric have sold out with this record. Take yourself away, you cannot call yourself a fan. A band cannot keep making the same record over and over. That’s why I adore Metric. Every record they have put out (I’m including EPs in this) has been different to the previous. They are a band that do not fall into any genre at all.

Synthetica by rights, should make lists of BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2012. You see, as it is so close to perfection I think the only people who are going to appreciate this record are the fans. The REAL fans who cling onto every single word Emily sings. Her voice makes you feel like you are floating on a cloud towards happiness. Her voice has got me through some fucking bullshit. Her voice has been comforting arms at 4am when I just didn’t know what to do. I never know what I am meant to do. I may follow my heart, but I have no idea where it is taking me. She has a voice that makes you stare up at the stars, and you feel like you are heading home. Home doesn’t have to be where you currently live. Get up and get the fuck out. Save yourself, because nobody else ever will.

Lyrically, this album is beyond. What I love about Metric is that they have NEVER used pretentious word forms and phrases in order for you to understand. Their words are at a level that make you connect instantly. You connect, and you never ever let go. Every song on Synthetica makes you feel like it was written for YOU. You feel as if Emily is just singing out everything you have been holding in for sometime. When you listen to Synthetica it is like you can let it all go. Let it all out, then let it go. Metric have always written songs that just feel like a huge healing process, I don’t really know of any other band that make me feel this way. You’ve already seen what Emily said what the record was about and all it stands for. But, incase you missed what she said :

“SYNTHETICA is about staying home and wanting to crawl out of your skin from the lack of external stimulation. SYNTHETICA is about forcing yourself to confront what you see in the mirror when you finally stand still long enough to catch a reflection. SYNTHETICA is about being able to identify the original in a long line of reproductions. It’s about what is real vs what is artificial. What else?

SYNTHETICA is about insomnia, fucking up, fashion, all the devices and gadgets attached to our brains, getting wasted, watching people die in other countries, watching people die in your own country, dancing your ass off, questioning the cops, poetic justice, standing up for yourself, sex, the apocalypse, doing some stupid shit and totally regretting it but then telling everyone it made you stronger, leaving town as a solution to unsolvable problems, owning your actions and owning your time.”

When I read this description, I felt my body become covered in goosebumps because I was filled with hope, joy and every positive feeling I could handle. As I listen to this record, I realise that all Emily said Synthetica is- it truly truly is, and more. It has gone so far beyond what I expected. I have no idea what I expected, but I knew it was going to be incredible. I guess my biased opinion didn’t let me down on this one.

So I guess you can call this a really bad album review. I didn’t really review it. Why should I? I just wanted to tell you that Metric are about to put out one of the best records of the year, and these songs…christ..these songs are going to do something to your soul. The Wanderlust features Lou Reed and that alone pretty much cements this as one of the best records of the year. The production is stunning, as with all their records. The musicianship is as tight as ever. This is well and truly worth the wait.

“I won’t ever make them make a loser out of my soul.”

Siouxsie Sioux : Happy Birthday!

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“You’ll see I’ll make it easy for you. Just one blink and I’ll help you to  break through.”

I fell asleep in the garden earlier whilst listening to Warpaint. Pretty sure the heat went to my head, so anything I type as per, will make no sense. At least I have a decent excuse this time. I don’t have one for anything before. So you can be right to assume I’m just a twerp really.

There’s a lot of things I love about life. Tea, books and cute animals. I also have a lot of love reserved for anything that is Punk/stemmed from that genre and strong women. Today is the birthday of a woman is not only a strong force but, also emerged from the Punk scene. I’d never call Siouxsie a Punk, but I know many would. It all depends I suppose. I’d just call her an icon to be honest. So, with this I’ll just attempt to delve into the reasons as to why I love her, and why she is still so bloody important.

For the most part, the music industry has been dominated by large men in ill-fitting suites who just see currency signs when looking at a person. That’s nice and all, but let’s be real here- that shit is a bit worthless. You can sell millions with one record, and nobody will care for you after that. You’ll probably be found sleeping behind a bin down near Charing Cross begging for change whilst scratching at yourself. What I’m trying to say is, people will leave you rotting at rock bottom when they cannot see any worth in you. Thing is, you don’t have to be famous for this to happen. Ever been abandoned by a group of people? Get in line kid, I’ll let you stand next to me. We’ll talk about it.

With an artist such as Siouxsie, it really didn’t matter if she told 8 million or 8 records. What mattered was that she was so different to anything and everything around. She was so unique. She dressed in a way you wish you could. If you dolled yourself up like her now, you’d probably be looked at like you have 12 heads. But forget what people say you know? Go out there and dress like her if you want. I’ll probably think you look fabulous.

The first time I saw Siouxsie’s face I just knew I wanted to be part of that world. It was around the time my stepdad put me onto The Cure properly. He told me about the history between Robert Smith and when he played with Siouxsie. I was so amazed and obsessed with this. I was fascinated, and I resented my age because I wish I could’ve witnessed this myself, just like he and so many others did. I was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ll never believe I was meant for this time, but hey- make do of what you are, and all you have. I know that.

It is hard to put into words how much you borderline idolise a person. It wasn’t just her voice and music that made me look up to her, it was the way she carried herself. When you can see how strong a person is, mixed with a hint of fragility in their eyes once in a while- you truly connect with that. Maybe that’s just me, but that is always what I look for. Her lyrics, I must say are utterly powerful and quite heartbreaking. If you can tear yourself away from the hypnotising sounds, you will hear just how powerful and borderline political her lyrics are. It will always piss me off when people call them Goth. I think it annoys me when anyone tries to label Siouxsie & The Banshees to be honest. Siouxsie’s voice is one that you can hear in so many. From Shirley Manson to PJ Harvey. I live in hope that some singers that are emerging now are still influenced by her. Her voice holds so much. It is delicate but it also has a lot of fight in it. You can hear the fury in her voice as she unleashes words of poison. Yet it doesn’t harm you, oh no. It makes you feel like you are part of this movement that The Banshees created. Siouxsie went beyond being a singer. Her gender played no part, but it sure as hell helped so many female singers at the time find their own voice, and follow their dreams.

There is so much a person could say about Siouxsie. I mean, everything about her is just so remarkable and bloody inspiring. She makes you want to vocalise all that plagues you, and start a riot of your own. I used to look at her photo and wish I was as tough as her. I still do. It happens when I look at her, Patti Smith and Shirley Manson. They are three incredible females that deserve a lot, a hell of a lot more respect and recognition for what they have done, and still continue to do. I may not be a famous musician who can speak up about how they inspire me, I just do it in my own little way. Maybe it is when I wear one of my Siouxsie shirts, and I feel a sense of pride and maybe a little bit of strength be embedded in me. Small things. It all takes time. I’m not one for going fast, so I’m okay with it all.

I have sung my heart out in my room and danced like I was having a seizure to her music. That will never change. Once someone touches your heart in a deep and raw way- they never truly leave. You can associate that to lovers if you want, but I wouldn’t. Aside from singing with Morrissey, I just…man I don’t even know. She is a truly flawless human being who maybe isn’t aware of what she means to so many. I sure as hell hope she does.

We need more strong women like Siouxsie around now. Especially now. There is empowerment in the words that roll off the tip of your tongue and what you think; not in the clothes you wear. I’m far too old-fashioned at times, but that’s how I am. I learnt how to hold a view on something and not let it go (without being disrespectful of course) from the likes of Siouxsie.

She finally received the Inspiration Award at the Ivor Novello Awards this year, it should’ve happened years before. But hey, better late than never right?

Happy Birthday Siouxsie xx

Silverchair.

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“It’s only self rejection, with a mean left.”

 

I’ve tried writing this about five times now. Maybe it’s a sign that I shouldn’t bother. However, I feel I have to. Not many will care for this band. I can’t see how a person couldn’t, but I’m just being biased. I love this band more than I can even understand. About a year ago they called it quits. What do they call it..a “hiatus.” That’s the really bad H word isn’t it. I don’t know what the other one is really. Anyway, Silverchair. A band that dragged me through secondary school when all I wanted to do was never see a face again in that hell hole. If you were ever bullied, you’d understand. But I got tough and..hid in the library. Story of my life really. So, when they announced this break they were going on, I felt a bit of my heart crumble away. Much like it did when The Long Blondes broke up. Except, I never got over that. I never have and I know I never ever will. Silverchair saved my mind. I owe it to a friend. I remember her showing me the cover to Freak Show, and she let me borrow the CD. I went home and had it on repeat. Did it change my life? I think it is fair to say it did.

For me, Daniel Johns is one of the greatest guitarists ever. Although I fully appreciated the band’s musicianship it was the lyrics that made my head spin and my heart feel less alone. As I got older, certain songs became everything I felt but couldn’t vocalise. Miss You Love for instance was a song that held so much relevance for a long time. I guess it still does. For me the song is about someone who has no idea what to do with love. I’m not entirely sure if I know what I would do, or if I ever will. I think most are like that. We have a view on ourselves to make ourselves attractive to others. I’ve gone past that. I’ve never been one for impressing another person. I wouldn’t know how to do it. If you’re impressed by someone who can do an impression of some South Park quotes or can recite Edgar Allan Poe or John Cooper Clarke poems- then I am available. Not for much though, I’m fussy. I think? I don’t know. Just don’t be a cunt.

Their lyrics summed up angst ridden teens everywhere. Thing is, you can still be an angst ridden adult. It just seems to be frowned upon. Or you are called grumpy. I’m not grumpy (please don’t wake me up if I’ve said I’m going for a nap though) I just hate unfairness, and I like to point it out when I see it. Songs such as Emotion Sickness and Anthem For The Year 2000 really do touch on being massively pissed at society, and quite rightly so. They didn’t word songs in a way that nobody couldn’t connect to. What you MUST remember is how young they were when they started out. They were living out the frustrations. Sadly, Daniel Johns was living out his own nightmare. Yet he came through the other end. Truly showing himself to be a person well worth looking up to, I know I did. And I still do.

Aside from being pissed at society, the self-deprecation in their lyrics made them easy to connect with. All too often, when growing up you are told to dress, think,feel,be,act a certain ways. You aren’t encouraged to think and speak freely. You have a limit to your freedom, that alone can cause so much fucking frustration inside. They ripped out all your frustrations and put it out there. They hung out every ugly feeling possible, and you felt less alone. You felt less disgusted with your own reflection. Am I the only one who feels this way about them? I hope not.

Hand on heart, Neon Ballroom is one of my favourite records of all time. It is heartbreaking and it is a healing process. I recommend anyone who feels a bit lost to invest in this record. It may not fully cure you, but it will ease the tension you have inside.  Every song is dark, but you find bits of hope in this record. You find them in weird places. That’s the good thing about music, you can find a way to plough on through in places and sounds you never thought you could. It used to be a record I couldn’t listen to often because of all it meant to me. As I get older (still a bit lost) I see the record for what it is. A reflection of a generation that needed to be heard. Silverchair were the voice for so many, and I hope they still are. They’re a band that you connect with so deeply that introducing them to a friend seems like a hard task because of the lyrics. You know it’s easy to go up to someone and say, “Hey have you heard the new song by The Strokes?” or something because The Strokes are a band that you can listen to over and over- no part of you will feel an ugly amount of pain when you listen to them. Listen to certain songs by Silverchair and you may feel a wee bit fragile afterwards. They’re not a band for those who love upbeat, happy pop songs. Far from it.

Yet, there was positivity to be found on Young Modern. I’ll be honest with you though, I really didn’t enjoy that record. I don’t need to go into detail as to why I didn’t. It just happens I guess doesn’t it. You cannot like everything.

Silverchair, unlike most bands that firmly have a place in my heart didn’t win me over like the other did. They didn’t make me want to write. Instead, they made every angsty emotion I was carrying around less daunting. Less heavy to carry. They made, for most of my time at school, it easier to wake up every day and drag myself there. I guess you can say they kept me alive, in a way. They started out when they were only 12 years old. For a band to write songs like that at such a young age is not only incredible, it is inspiring too.

They may never make another record again, but what we do have is enough to still fall back on when everything seems a bit messed up.

“Did they tell you, you should grow up, when you wanted to dream. Did they warn you, better shape up if you want to succeed.”

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I took a walk just now. Whilst walking, a Metric song came on and it just made me realise that it is okay to be my age (25) and still be a dreamer. Someone who isn’t always sure of everything around them, but knows what they want. They do all they can to get it, but something gets in the way. That something at times, holds you back. But you still keep going. Sometimes a song is all it takes for you to keep on dreaming. To keep everything in you alive. It is hard, I bloody well know it is. You see, I’ve been a freelancing fool for 6 and a half years now. I’ve had this site since early 2008. I’ve had times where I wanted to just say “Fuck this..fuck it all. I can’t no more.” The constant self-doubt I carry on my back keeps me going. If I ever thought I was good at something, I wouldn’t do it. The self-doubt makes me work harder I guess. If I didn’t write, I’d probably be sectioned. I’d gnaw at my hands and rip my eyes out from frustration. Yet, for some stupid reason, I feel the need to write. I have no idea who reads this. Or even why someone would read the nonsense I write, but I just want to thank you. If I could buy you a cup of tea and hug you- I would. If you’re a friend of mine, that’s pretty cool. But I know none of my friends read this. It’s cool. I’m pretty sure most read this and think, “What the hell is this idiot doing? I can do better than her. She’s useless.” Probably. You probably can. I do it for the love of music. I don’t do it for any other reason. I know I want to make a living from this, but truth be told-I never will. I guess you cannot put a price on something you love. So this is going to be a collection of songs that make me feel alright with being a dreamer, I guess. Thing is, I know what the reality around me is. I’m not happy with it, but only I can change it.

Maybe one day, one of my daft dreams will come true. Maybe one day I’ll get some poetry published. Maybe I’ll write a book. Maybes are okay- but you cannot live off them. Keep the dream alive, and do what you need to do. The following songs just give me hope, in their own unique  non-conventional way.

 

Religious Knives.

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Everything lovely in life has a darkness underneath it. The most frail of voices have a big, creepy sound underneath it. Every good-looking person has a less fortunate looking person after them (beauty and the beast..I’m the beast. Who’s with me?! No? Alright then.) Look, I don’t know where these words are coming from. I don’t even know why I am writing them. I guess it’s because in person, I have not much to say. However, shit like this- I can have as many ramblings as I can physically handle. My mind is telling me to stop. My body is all “KEEP FUCKING TYPING ASSHOLE.” So type I will. I think the music I am listening to is encouraging me too. Just so you know, I’m not on drugs. Not unless you class a cup of tea as a drug. Anyway. My only habit in life is napping. And other things. Nothing too wild. I’ll learn to be outrageous one day. Until then, I’m going to just do this. As ever.

Religious Knives.

Here’s the thing. I really love them. My love for them is just going to leave me in awe. They remind of The Jesus And Mary Chain meets The Organ.

I love the fuzzy reverb sound. I love the distorted bass. I love how all of this makes me feel. Like it is okay to feel like a massive fuck-up but still have the ability to smile about it. There’s a hint of Nick Cave in this too. I’m in love. I’m in love hard right now with this band. They make me feel like I am witnessing a murder scene in a really horrific film. The music they create is so graphic. Every ugly feeling you could possibly imagine feeling comes out to play. Your demons are coming back, baby. You’ve got nowhere to run to. This is overwhelming. This is powerful. This is the war inside your head that you try to shut up. Sometimes, you’ve got to let it overrule you. Just let it happen. There’s no harm in it. Put your headphones in, let the Devil out.

It’s a train wreck. It is a mess. It is an ugly and intense feeling. I am falling in love for a band that are fast becoming everything I want to be part of. And I’m not someone who likes to be part of something. I think my main obsession for Religious Knives has to be the drums. They sound tribal. You mix that with menacing guitars and a fucking incredible vocal- well it’s really no wonder as to why I love them. I can love a piece of music with no problem. A person however? Cautious and careful.

I wish I could fully let out how I feel about this band. Instead I just sound like a babbling buffoon who knows nothing about nothing. That’s probably the case, but I just really dig this band.

Something tells me that their live shows would be like a really intense Halloween party. Pretty sure I’d have a good time witnessing that.

If you love the menacing sounds of The Jesus And Mary Chain, the intense feels of Nick Cave- then Religious Knives need to be a band you cling onto. Do it. Hold on.

Oh, and you can add them to the list of “Amazing bands to come from Brooklyn.” Seriously BK, you’re going to have to tame it soon. I don’t know if I can handle how brilliant you are.

Forever Young: Happy Birthday Bob Dylan.

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“Something there is about you that moves with style and grace,
I was in a whirlwind, now I am in some better place.
My hand’s on the sabre and you’ve picked up on the baton,
Something there is about you that I can’t quite put my finger on.”

71 years ago, a hero was born. At the time he wasn’t a hero, but he fast became one. Bobby, you are everything and more to me. I know of a couple of fans of him, I know more who do not like them. Let it go, I let it go. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion- but don’t say you don’t like someone if you’ve never heard it. Better yet, don’t say you hate Bobby when you have never listened to Blonde On Blonde. I treat that record like I’d treat a kitten. With care and love. I listen with tenderness and caution.

As you know (or maybe you don’t) Bob Dylan was my mum’s obsession growing up. So, she passed that obsession onto me. For as long as I can remember his music was always played in the house. Being rocked to sleep in her arms as she sang Forever Young. Watching the video to Subterranean Homesick Blues and being told, “Watch him Liv. Just watch him.” And watch him I did. I was in awe of his posture, his waistcoat and his words. Everything about him turned my world upside down and back again. Sort of like when you fall for someone completely unaware. It’s a bitch, but it is also enjoyable. If it goes your way. Personally? It never does. It’s okay, I’ve got music. When I was at Uni and until I lived on my own until ate last year, I had section of my wall just dedicated to him. I’m not ashamed at all. As soon as I get myself sorted, it will be up once more!

For Morrissey, I had to do that silly open letter (I’m sorry if you read it) but for Bobby, I just want to let out what his music means to me. No letter, just..an expression of sorts.

Bobby taught me how to care for everything around me. The unfairness and the equality. Tread carefully, but use your tongue as wisely as possible. He taught me about sufferings past, present and those that were to come. There’s a handful of singers that made me aware of words. Not just how you write them down, but how you say them. I have always had a weakness for the Bobby pronounces his words. Certain words, all words- just everything Bobby stood for, I stood for too. Of course I am too young to have been aware of him from the start. But he was there since I was born. He’s always been a constant in my life. I really wouldn’t be as in love with poetry as I am if it wasn’t for Bobby. I used to read his lyrics as poems to truly feel and understand every single word. I still stand by Hurricane being one of the greatest things he has ever written. The songs about love and the ending of love always mean a lot to me. Don’t Think Twice (It’s Alright) is a song I can associate with one or two. It’s the perfect song to connect a fading love to.

Like A Rolling Stone was a song I played religiously it seemed towards the end of my time at University. That was an awful time. So, I did what any music obsessive would do- I had Like A Rolling Stone tattooed on the back of my neck. It was the second tattoo I had done, it was by no means my last. This song just made me feel less alone with not knowing what was going on. When he sings, “No direction home” I just feel as if it was written for me. That specific line. I’ve never really had a home, and I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. I guess it is why I get frustrated that I cannot settle. That line means more to me than most, I wouldn’t be surprised if I ever got that tattooed on me to be honest.

Bobby’s music was always used as a lullaby. I never had an issue with sleeping. The main problem I think was, I just fought it. I would be tired, but I’d stay awake and act as if I couldn’t sleep just so I could hear certain songs to help me sleep. Eventually, my mum caught on to what I was doing and just used to put me to bed with music playing anyway.

I don’t bang on about my political views at all (I’m not religious, but I believe everyone is entitled to their own views and shouldn’t be told they are wrong. HOWEVER, I hate racists and would like to see an end to certain political “parties.”) But Bobby made me socially aware, it of course became more dominant when I was at Uni. Don’t worry, I never went on a protest or anything because I wanted to be seen or to be a typical student. Far from it. Start your own movements, in your own way. I think speaking up to a person one on one when something is wrong is just as powerful (if not more) than chanting up and down a street. Again, that’s just how I see it and I’ll probably be told I am wrong. It’s cool, if it makes you feel better..crack on love.

Bobby is like that cup of tea on a really cold day. His words warm your soul. He soothes your insides. Like whiskey, he is an acquired taste. I fully understand that. Bobby fans are hard to find. We’re a gentle bunch, so be kind to us. We’ll be kind to you.

So many times I have heated conversations with my mum about the best Bob Dylan record. She never understood how much I loved Blonde On Blonde until a few years ago. I remember getting a text it read, “I fully get why you love it. It’s his best work x” I firmly believe it is. Thing is, I even love his Christmas records, and I hate Christmas songs. I do a good Bob Dylan impression, but I will only demonstrate if I feel comfortable with you. And as I don’t feel that too great around most, I rarely do it. I’m such a tease aren’t I. In the most non-sexy way possible.

I could never pick my favourite Bobby song. I have such love for I Want You,It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Bleeding), Maggie’s Farm, Positively 4th Street. There are hundreds more that I just adore. Positively 4th Street is the perfect, “Fuck you..I know what you’re like and I don’t want you around no more” kind of song. Bobby can make you fall in love and make you cut things out of your life all in one go.

Aged 71 years young today, he is still one of the most influential singers of all time. Some may still call him out as “Judas” others know that he is just easily the greatest. For me, he’s everything. Just everything. A saviour and a friend. His words mean more to me that I can put into words. The love I have for him goes beyond description. That’s when you know it is love, and how you know it is forever. No words are enough.

Kate Bush.

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“Split me open, with devotion. You put your hands in, and rip my heart out. Eat the music.”

Writing this is going to give me a headache. I know I get a headache most days, but this will probably cause me to want to lob the computer outside, and watch it smash into pieces. As I feel my face melt and my head pound. This isn’t the general feeling I get from listening to Kate Bush. I listen to her, and I feel okay. There’s just one song that, if you ever want to see me cry- play it. I will cry like a baby because over the past year and a half or so..it has summed up a lot. So I do my best to avoid it. I’m good at avoiding things. You see, I even put off writing this for some time because I’m not good enough a writer to even do this. I know my limits. I don’t need to be pushed into doing something, more like a bloody forceful shove. Unless whiskey is involved, then I’ll just do it anyway.

Where does a person start when writing about Kate Bush? It’s like trying to list the qualities you love about someone isn’t it? You just don’t know where to start so you just say “everything” because it is the truth. As you know, I don’t write in a way that removes myself from whatever it is I am writing about. I stupidly get personal about it all, leaving myself open and god knows what else to the person reading it. However, I am confident nobody will see this so I am okay with it. The other night when I wrote that open letter to Morrissey, what was I thinking!? Writing about Kate Bush is something I know I have needed to do for some time. Like anyone with good parents, I was raised on her music. I think I even made my mum dance like her so I’d go to sleep. I have never ever been able to sing the correct words to Babooshka. Never have, never will. I just sing whatever comes into my head. And for the most part, it is sheer nonsense. To be honest, what goes on in my head is mostly nonsense. Organised chaos.

I love voices that have a drawl to it. Voices that sound a bit rough, gnarly and raw. Voices that many would probably regard as “what in the fuckering is that?!” The stranger, the better. Kate’s voice is far from this. Sure it is strange, mainly because no other female singer has that power. Sure they may say they are influenced by her. Some go as far to just rip her off. I won’t name names, I’m not like that (and mainly because I’m still half asleep so I have no idea.) But you can see over time, who has basically just tried to be like her. Then again, you have some who are so wonderfully influenced by her. There’s a fine line between copying and being influenced isn’t there.

I’ll just declare it now shall I? The Kick Inside is probably THE greatest debut records of all time. Alright, one of the. I have a lot of emotional value held towards New York Dolls debut and a few others, but I’d put it in my top 5 for sure. I’ve always been obsessed with the artwork of this record. I have no idea why, I am always drawn to things I cannot explain. Her vocals on L’Amour Looks Something Like You si my favourite off the record, and in all honesty it is probably my favourite Kate Bush song. I love her vocals so much. I think I used to be terrified of Kate Bush for a while. Then I realised, “She’s bloody mental..look at her moves. I love her!” The fear didn’t last long at all. If I’m scared of something, I usually end up enjoying it after a while. I don’t question how my mind works anymore. It’s a sexy record isn’t it.

I keep thinking of things to write down, and just losing the ability to put it into a sentence. About that headache…

I think for me, personally, the reason as to why I just love her (its pure love) is because her songs are about subject matters singers around now wouldn’t dare touch on. It’s like now, if you have an opinion- keep it to yourself. Bullshit. So long as you’re not being a racist/homophobic cunt or being a twat towards those who have a disability-say something. If you’re going to be a judgemental prick basically, shut the frig up. Anything else, carry on kidda.

She’s written songs that touch on an incestuous pregnancy to a woman’s obsession with a young lad that could be seen as borderline, paedo-ish. As it is Kate, you don’t mind. She takes you far into a different world with her hypnotising voice, and moves- that the subject matter isn’t really a big deal. She just makes you escape in the purest way. You honestly cannot compare what she does to you to anything else.

This Christmas just passed, I was working at HMV (one of the best jobs ever, serious) and this man came up to me and said “Where will I find Kate Bush?” Obviously I thought, “Probably at home” was the best response, and I said it. He laughed. He laughed hard, so I couldn’t walk away. Not that I would. So I took him to the section, and he said “There’s two new ones aren’t there.” So I handed him 50 Words For Snow. I told him about it. I told him everything he should feel whilst listening to it. I told him that it makes the fact that she rarely releases anything now less painful because it is a truly beautiful record. I remember word for word what he said to me (see, I sometimes remember nice things people tell me) and he said, “From the passion in your voice and how your face just lights up-I am going to buy this record. I trust your judgement.” He came in a few days later and thanked me. I also held up a queue whilst serving (calm down) a girl who was buying some Kate Bush records by just talking about how wonderful she is. She stops time, and makes everything around you mean nothing. You feel weightless and comfortable with who you are when you listen to her.

I’m over a thousand words here. I think I could go all day. I’ll carry on a bit longer, then I’ll stop. I could write a book on this woman. I won’t though. Don’t worry.

What is it about Kate that has caused her to still be relevant? Why is she so important? Just what is it? I’ve always tried to work it out, but I never find an answer. I think it is different for everyone. Those that love her all have their own take on it. Maybe it is her lyric content. Maybe it is her voice. Or maybe, it is just her. Every so often a singer or band comes around, and they just blow your mind. Everything about them stuns you. You cannot being to even summarise what it is that you love about them. It is just pure, unconditional love. The kind of love you have for your pet. You just look at them, and it is with sheer love. Nothing more, nothing less.

With a career that has lasted well over 30 years now, I do believe it is fair to say that Kate Bush is probably THE most influential singer pretty much ever. She’s influenced so many from PJ Harvey to my personal favourite, Ariel Pink (please listen to his music, he is a LA based genius who deserves the world. True love for him.)

I could’ve picked apart songs and albums that I love, but I guess it didn’t feel right. Maybe I am totally wrong with what I have written down. Good job I’m not someone who desires to always be right then isn’t it!

In short, I suppose, Kate is just everything you want from a singer. She has a strong vocal range, her moves are insane (if you’ve never tried to dance like her, you’ve never lived) her words are just poetry. There’s darkness, there’s love, lust, rage, fury and utter power in all her songs. I’d say “don’t trust someone who isn’t a Kate Bush fan!” But to be honest, don’t trust anyone who only listens to just one song. You’ve got a back catalogue of perfection, do NOT ignore it. It’ll probably change your life. Then you’ll hate modern music because it isn’t as pure and as touching as this. To an extent.

We should make her a Dame shouldn’t we? Dame Kate Bush. Sounds alright…

Helen Boulding.

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Think about it, most of the good things in life come from Yorkshire. Did you ever used to watch Heartbeat on a Sunday after you’d had your bath? No? Just me? BOLLOCKS! You were missing out. Nick Berry was a heart-throb wasn’t he. Not for me, personally. Also we have Richard Hawley from Sheffield (Can we please just make him a Sir already) Bring Me The Horizon are from Sheffield. Arctic Monkeys are good Yorkshire lads. The Long Blondes (I’m not over it) were a personal favourite. I just love Yorkshire. My mum’s from Doncaster. You know, I think York train station is my favourite. I’m 25 going on 50 aren’t I. Anyway, let me give you another Yorkshire lass.

Helen Boulding.

Her second record is out soon, 16th July. It’s produced by Pete Glenister (he’s worked with Kirsty MacColl so you know he’s a good ‘un.) Anyway, the single The Innocents (it’s lovely isn’t it) is out July 9th. I’m not going to compare her to anyone, I always find that to be utterly lazy. Not to mention a bit offensive to the artist. So I shall say, dear reader, if you like artists such as :  Bat For Lashes, Ellie Goulding- you know the kind. Female singers with a powerful and strange (the good kind) of voice that leave you wanting more. Then, you’ll probably enjoy Helen Boulding.

What I love about the new single is how pure it is. It captures the innocence of how are born a blank slate. Thing is, you can start over at any time. Don’t let anything or anyone tell you different- or try to stop you.

There are some tour dates floating about, and she is also playing Hop Farm (30th June.)

I’d also like to mention that she has collaborated with members of The Cure and Killing Joke. That my friends, is a BIG DEAL.

Happy Birthday Morrissey.

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“In my own strange way I’ve always been true to you, in my own sick way I’ll always stay true to you.”

53 years young he is today. Bless him. Look at him. Stood there, with a cute cat on his head. Just look at him. Look into those eyes. Those eyes have seen the things that have led to him writing about the things that created the songs that saved your life. Are you glad you were saved, or would you rather not? Well, that’s up to you. Keep your misery in a firm chokehold and remind it that you own it. It doesn’t own you.

Where the heck do I begin writing about Morrissey? Well, from the start would probably be wise. I’m not wise. Anyway. Morrissey. Birthday. TODAY.

My love for Morrissey cannot be measured. My love for Morrissey cannot be put into words. Yet I feel the need, as I drink tea out of a Morrissey mug to express my love for him. It’s his birthday, not that I need a reason to do this but still.

Alright, so Morrissey. You tyke, how on Earth do I start this? I’ll do it in letter form. Consider this an open letter from an outsider. You’ll never see this but I guess I have to blurt it all out. Here goes nothing, with everything!

Dear Morrissey,

I am just another fan of yours. I’m just another fan who has been obsessed with your words and music for as long as I can remember. I’ve only seen you 4 times, and I only have 1 tattoo that shows my love for you. Is it enough? Tattoo wise, I think so. The body is a blank canvass so..I might as well decorate it the way I want it to be.

You see Morrissey, your words have given me hope and laughs. Tears and strength. Giggles and pain. You’ve summed up every frustration and fury I have ever felt. You’re one of the few reasons as to why I am obsessed with words. You’re also probably why I love cats too. They’re fascinating aren’t they? What you have done is help me make sense of every good and bad emotion I have ever felt and continue to feel. I play Black Cloud and I think of the one I cannot have, and will never have. I play Speedway and I think of every shit thing I have done- and I feel no remorse for it is over and done. I play Alma Matters and it is like two fingers to those who are well, you know what they are. I play Everyday Is Like Sunday and it reminds me of where I grew up and quickly grew tired. You are the soundtrack to my life. For everything I have been exposed to- you have a song for it. I used to want to have a girlfriend who was clinically obese so I could play You’re The One For Me Fatty to, but I didn’t want the local supermarket knowing us on first name basis. So I no longer want. I must confess, I never want to be with someone who loves you like I do. Mainly because I don’t want that connection. I’d much rather bond with them over another band. I won’t mention names. I won’t share you, you know how it is. Then I listen to your songs, and I think I’ve now resigned myself to a life of books, notebooks, lots of cats and a rocking chair. It’s not that bad is it? I’m not a bitter person, far from it. I cannot be bothered with bad feelings- your lyrics taught me how to let go. I cannot thank you enough for this.

Your music has provided me with everything I need to drag me through the days. I don’t discuss the nights because I try to sleep. I try, I bloody well try. Every single time I have seen you live, I cry as soon as you walk on. As you stride to the centre of the stage like a graceful creature (a cat perhaps) I feel as if something truly powerful is taking over me. The first time I saw you live was after I had been dumped for the first time. I will not go into details, I refuse to. But I remember the train journey from the middle of England to Manchester to meet my mother. We then went from Manchester to Stirling. I never knew how one night could change my life. You know, I could’ve been one of those people who throw their lives away due to hurt. I then watched you sing your heart out. As I watched you, I sang along. Tears fell down my face. At the end of the concert, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me. I felt as if nothing in life mattered anymore. I had felt something so bloody awful beforehand, and you eased it. You took it from me, and gave me life again. This is just another way as to how you saved my life. You changed my life.

I’m writing this as if you will see this, but you won’t. All I can do is hope maybe a fan who feels the same way as me reads this and feels less alone. That some stranger has managed to get these feelings out, so they do not have to. That’s what you did for me.

A few weeks ago, I was stood in the smoking area of a club in Manchester. This man started talking to me, and as I spoke he said “You remind me of a young Morrissey. How you speak, and your presence.” We then started singing Every Day Is Like Sunday together. A drunken moment that is forever etched in my heart and mind. I’ll never forget that. If he was a woman, I may have proposed. Or bought her a glass of good wine. Probably the latter.

I wish you a Happy Birthday. I wish you happiness, health and love. I hope you are fully aware of what you mean to myself and to so many others across the world. You’re the light that never goes out. You are hope, truth and wisdom.

I simply cannot thank you enough, so all I can do is end this with a simple yet honest- I love you.

Stay gentle, be cautious if you must.

All my love,

Olivia xxx

Joe Innes & The Cavalcade.

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It’s Morrissey’s birthday today. You know, the one person I will probably ever love. It’s the safe option for he cannot love me back nor does he know of my existence and reject me. But hey Moz, if you see this call me. My number starts with 0 and ends in 0..I think. However, my phone has been cut-off so maybe we could write letters. I bought a fountain pen in January, so far I’ve only used it to write cheap poetry about things and people. I’ll even make you cups of tea, on the hour. Anyway, this is all for later on- my birthday post for Moz. For now, you are going to get an album review of sorts. Well, not really. I’m just going to babble on about a band for a bit.

I checked my emails this morning. As ever. Sifting through the “DO YOU NEED VIAGRA?” As I don’t have a penis and I’m also gay- I really don’t need Viagra, thanks for the suggestion though. I also had the “SORRY, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN SUCCESSFUL WITH YOUR APPLICATION.” Fuck you very much. Through the barrel of this bullshit, I was thankfully greeted with something that brought a smile to my face- even if it is World Goth Day. If you must know, I am wearing my Bauhaus shirt. I wear it most days. I sun bathed wearing it, and black jeans. I’m not really sure about this Summer lark you know. I may just stay indoors. Why do I need to go outside when I am being sent something so bloody beautiful via email?!

Joe Innes & The Cavalcade have cruel lyrics merged with a folky sound. By folky I don’t mean something mundane and cack such as Laura Marling and Mumford and his posse. No no, this right here, what I am listening to is a different level. Shall we call it part of the anti-folk scene? Do you hate scenes? I do. Let’s call it a movement. That sounds better. Like a riot is about to start. Everyone enjoys a riot (not like the ones we saw last year, that was just mindless violence.) Joe Innes & his delightful band are wonderful. If I was anymore positive about this band, I’d sound like some kind of motivational speaker. I’m not that kind of person. I do not like to interfere. Ever. Do your own thing.

Right so, if you dig stuff like Emmy The Great, Bright Eyes, Adam Green and..I’m trying to think of someone else but I can’t. Bollocks. Basically, if you like music that is gentle- then this is for you. Perfect to sit by a lake with a bottle of wine. Go home when you think going for a swim is a good idea though. I can’t swim. So if I drink wine, I always make sure there are people around and no water at all.

The lyrics are dark. Look, anyone who writes a song about burying a dead rat is close to perfect in my mind. Anyone who holds something towards this and needs to write a song about it, well- you’re my kind of person. There is something so painful about the lyrics you know? Because it is so true to life. Ever seen a dead rat in the road and wanted to bury it? No? Just me? I should stop being so caring. I’d risk my life to save an animal. The Frighteners is my favourite track off their debut record. It is creepy, ghoulish and ever so sinister. Everything I love about music is in that song.

I feel I should write something pretentious like, “This band feel like Summer.” Thing is, Summer in the UK is basically rain isn’t it? So that’s not nice. In short, Joe Innes & The Cavalcade are pretty damn good. That’s an understatement. I should give you a link to this record shouldn’t I?

Here you go : http://joeinnes.bandcamp.com/

The songs are perfect for those who doubt themselves, doubt love and doubt the world at times. All this doubt keeps you going, keeps you alive. Well, that’s how I see it anyway. I live as if I am unloveable, I don’t want to disappoint. Future girlfriends (if it ever happens again) you need to know this. I’ll probably play you a song by Joe Innes & The Cavalcade to get my point across.

There’s angst, hurt and so much vulnerability in these songs. I dig it, and I hope you do too. The record came out at the end of April, so you have no excuse.

Joe Innes has supported some bands I bloody adore so much such as Sea Of Bees, She Keeps Bees and Caitlin Rose. If you’re at a loss and need something to kick-start your soul, invest your time/ears in Joe’s music. They’re playing a gig in Dalston on the 27th May. I’d go..but I’m in London 3 days after. I always miss out!