Last September I saw Crocodiles live for the first time. I’d been a fan since 2009, and I had been waiting many years to see then live. Seeing them in a record store playing for just over 20 minutes wasn’t how I imagined it to be, but it was better than what I had previously- which was nothing. Go forward to just under a year and I finally get to see them in an environment I feel comfortable with.
Earlier in the day I briefly hung out with Brandon and Charlie in an alley for an interview. I’ll type it up later if my dictaphone picked anything up. I bought it off Amazon from a dodgy seller. I never learn.
Sebright Arms is a wonderful pub that was just made to have bands like Crocodiles perform. A small, dark room with enough space for you to move your body round in any way you wish. I sure as hell did. They opened with Sunday (Psychic Conversations #9.) Immediately they launched the crowd into a frenzy. 150 sweaty bodies had been waiting for this. I think secretly my girlfriend who came with me, had been waiting for this too.
When I saw them last year it was a little after their record, Endless Flowers had come out but they still played older songs such as I Wanna Kill and All My Hate And Hexes Are For You (personal favourite.) These songs weren’t played last night, but to be honest, I didn’t care. I just wanted to see them play as a full set. Was my mind blown? Hell yes. I was stood right by a speaker so my eardrums are fucked too. I can’t really hear anything properly yet. Everything sounds a bit fuzzy; the remains of the night before are stuck. I’ll cling until 2nd October where it will happen all over again.
Each member of Crocodiles leaves you wonderfully hypnotised. I was stood directly in front of Marco, and when he plays bass you cannot help but fall into a similar trance. His eyes are shut, as if he is another world. You don’t know if you are meant to follow him or to slightly veer into your own way. You’ll probably meet midway anyway. Maybe at the encore. Lose your shit kids. It’s the best way to have a good time. Then we have Robin on keys who pretty much lures you in as soon as she plays. Rocking back and forth, harmonising with Brandon. You can see the enthusiasm so clearly when she plays. I cannot stress enough just how inspiring they are to watch. Robert unleashes unruly fury on the drums; I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have abrasions after playing. He may be the newest member, but the family unity they have is still as pure as it ever was. Charlie is without a doubt the best guitarist I’ve ever seen live. He does something truly mind-blowing on that stage. You cannot help but stare. From the way he flung some beer around as he was playing the guitar to his jolting movements whilst he annihilates the guitar. The force he plays with seems so effortless; he makes you wish you could play the guitar and created your own creepy sound. Brandon’s vocals are just perfect. His yelps during Sunday to the way he sings “R-E-F-U-S-E” on the song Refuse Angels just leaves you in awe. He throttles the mic stand with frustrated force. You can tell that for him, and the others that music is everything to them. And that’s why their music means everything to their fans.
What I loved about this show was the sheer diversity in the crowd. From old guys coming to the show on their own to the lost kids finally finding a home (like myself)- this show was one of my highlights of the year. They played a solid mixture of all four records. I sang my heart out to every song, I swayed and my hearing is less than good right now. I had the best time ever. I’m not sure how to write a typical live review; all I can do is write about how the show made me feel and what I saw. I like to think I’ve sort of done that.
There were leaflets advertising their next London date which is on the 2nd October at Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club. Tickets are only £10 and you can get them here: https://parallellines.ticketabc.com/events/crocodiles-2/ I cannot wait to feel this way again in October.
I’d also like to mention that Virals were incredible last night. They played for a little under half an hour I think, but it was enough for the crowd to know that Virals are a brutal talent. And you know what? My girlfriend who likes Michael Buble (I know..I know, but I see past it) turned to me and said she enjoyed Virals. She’s a good one, I know.
In short, Crocodiles blew my mind (and eardrums) last night. To see your favourite band live is beyond words; it reinforced a lot of things for me. Things that caused me to love them the first time round. Crocs are for sure, the best live band you’ll see. They put their all into it, and you return the favour by losing your mind.
“Sacred hearts are bursting in the chest of every person that I meet.”
I came home from the gym. Threw my bag on the floor and was set to go through the daily gruelling process of looking for jobs and a reason to keep going at it. I checked my emails, what do I see? A promo copy of Crocodiles new record. Today is also my hero, Morrissey’s birthday. Today is a good day. These two things are just magical. I have things to do, and I don’t wish to do them. Not until I’ve written about the year’s best record.
Crimes Of Passion is Crocodiles fourth record. Each record of theirs has always had a lot of sentimental value to me. Summer Of Hate got me through a bad year, Sleep Forever summed up my life at that point and Endless Flowers just reminds me of my girlfriend. In short, I guess you could say Crocodiles music has dragged me through all the bad to finally someone, something good. That’s just how I see it. So what could Crimes Of Passion mean to me? Well to start with, everything.
The record starts with the glorious I Like It In The Dark. This is a song that should be played at all house parties, full of debauchery and the desire to commit some sins. I held no expectations when I pressed play; I knew immediately that I was going to hear a record that was going to make my tummy flip and my heart beat faster- this record is just like falling in love repeatedly with the same person, regardless of how long you’ve been with them, all over again. I Like It In The Darkis the start of a hazy journey through psychedelic bliss. The start of the week saw them give us a taste of their record by streaming Cockroach. The bold tones of this song remains throughout the whole record but there are some gloriously dreamy sounds on Crimes Of Passion. She Splits Me Upand Me And My Machine Gunhave such a beautiful daydream feel to them. They make you feel as if you are in the most secure of states; nothing and no one can touch you. Their first two records were quite wild, but since Endless Flowers their sound seems still rambunctious at times but being such a fan I am- I really really love this sound. They are like very few bands that are around who make different sounding records each time. Look at how drastic The Horrors sound was from Strange House to Primary Colours and to Skying. Look at how bands like The Kills have changed with each record. When I band keep repeating what they do, then it becomes a bore. I firmly stand by the Crocodiles being one of the most exciting bands around. Trust in Zoo Music kids, trust in it.
I’m in no position to tell you what the best songs are on Crimes Of Passion, I can only simply tell you that this is a remarkable record from start to finish. The songs are full of lust (Marquis De Sade– he was a French writer/philosopher who was sexually free with his words; a bit a genius for sure. Check out his work) and the songs are full of rage (Cockroach.) The songs are full of subjects many shy away from because they just cannot do it. The thing is, Crocodiles free you. They say the things you are too shy to say. Much like Morrissey has been doing for years. If you’re prone to drifting towards the dark things in life, then Crocodiles will be the ones who make music that just sums up those feelings and desires you try to hide.
Crocodiles make the weakest of people feel tough. Listening to them is a sacred experience. As you place your earphones in, strut down the street listening to them- you feel incredibly untouchable. I think this is how people felt when they first heard Velvet Underground. The posses the cool vibe of Lou Reed and the gentle poetry in their words which is found in the likes of literary geniuses such as Wilde, Verlaine and Ted Hughes. Basically, they are romantic with their words and how the music is equally as romantic. As I listen to Crimes Of Passion over and over, I can truly feel my heart being owned by Me And My Machine Gun. I want to say it is 2013’s version of No Black Clouds For Dee Dee but that song is in a different league. It’s the purest of love songs; the ultimate love song.
If you’ve ever seen Crocodiles live you will see that they play with such passion and fury. I’ve only seen them once, last year at Rough Trade. I was mesmerised by how Charles plays. You just watch this transformation happen, you see it in all of them. I remember my eyes being fixated on Charles when they played Mirrors. Certain moments kids, certain moments. Crocodiles are the trigger to a lifestyle full of rambunctious thoughts and the desire for something more. Excuse my language, but Crimes Of Passion is fucking incredible.
I cannot write how other Music Writers do. I cannot remove myself from being a fan, I really can’t. I don’t know if it is a good thing or bad thing. All I know is that, when you know a band have made a record with all they have it is important, if you’re going to write about it- you put your all into it too. There is so much more I want to say about Crimes Of Passion but to be honest, the record speaks for itself. If you want songs that make you want to be pure again, but knowing you cannot be (Virgin) or if you want songs to just wander the streets to (Un Chant D’AmourI’d like to add that this is the perfect song to just lay on the grass, close your eyes and let the sun beat on your eyes; and to just fall in love to) then Crimes Of Passion has it all. It is easy to adore every single song on this record. I’m beyond proud to be a fan of Crocodiles. Their music is like a cloak of armour, a badge of honour.
Crimes Of Passion is out 19th August on Zoo Music. Go to your local record shop and buy this record. The band is heading out on tour in the UK near the same time :
25-Aug UK Glasgow Broadcast 26-Aug UK Edinburgh Sneaky Petes 28-Aug UK Leeds Brudenell Social Club 29-Aug UK Manchester The Ruby Lounge 01-Sep UK Larmer Tree End of the Road 03-Sep UK Brighton Sticky Mike’s
When one of your favourite bands put out a new song, it certainly improves everything. By everything, I truly mean everything. My life revolves around music so this new song by Crocodiles has made me pretty happy.
Crocodiles pretty much make music that I wish I could make, however I am entirely musically null and void. I cannot do a thing but listen to music and write about it. That’s all I can ever do. So when Crocodiles put their new song up, I just had to write about it. It’s going to be rushed because I have to go out (I know, even I’m surprised I’m going somewhere other than the gym.)
Crocodiles have this ferocious and bloody brilliant rambunctious style that fills you with an Arthur Rimbaud style of rebellion inside. They make you feel as if you’ve discovered something menacing but gorgeous. Cockroach is a prime example of that. Their songs are a mixture of love, devotion, rage and despair. They’ve written some of the best love songs and they’ve also written the best “fuck you’s” of all time. They have a gang feel to their sound which is found in the likes of the New York Dolls to Wu Tang Clan- what I’m getting at is, they make you feel part of something. I’ve been a fan since the start, and how I feel in love with them was as I was trying to fall out of love with a person. They helped and they cured. They do this on a constant basis. They’re the first band I turn to. I play them when I have to walk through hell or when I just need to hear words that make a lot of sense. They’re not just a band.
I was excited when I saw the photos of Brandon and Charles in the studio recording their fourth record, but after hearing Cockroach I have every bit of faith that Crimes Of Passion is going to be the best record of the year. Last year Endless Flowers was the best record I heard, so I am more than willing to declare Crimes Of Passion the same.
They have their signature sound of making you wanting to thrash your body around. Making you nod your head so it looks like you’re about to snap your neck. You just have to play it loud and move in the most ridiculous way possible. Their new record is produced by one half of The Raveonttes (Last Dance is a beautiful love song, go listen) Sune Rose Wagner. Everything about Crocodiles is enough to drag you through the mundane to find your own piece of heaven. Cockroach is going to be an anthem amongst fans. Sung with everything we all have; it’s just excellent.
In a few days they are announcing a tour of Europe and the UK. I’ll be there. Even if I have beg, steal and/borrow-I will be there. Singing the songs that mean the world to me. Cannot wait.
This is the kind of song to make you not care for anything else in that moment. It will give you that tough attitude you wish you naturally possessed. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t mastered it, Crocodiles will give you the armour you need to act like someone nobody should ever fuck around with. There aren’t many bands who do this, especially now. I’d obviously quite happily write a thousand more words on how excellent this song is, but I think in 3 minutes and 1 second Crocodiles have pretty much justified why you need to pay even more attention to them.
Five years ago today I was sat in a room at University in an Online Journalism class. This module basically was for us all to start our own blog. What we did with it after the module ended was our own business I guess. I carried on. I carried on because I found a platform where I could express my love for music in a way I’d never done before. It wasn’t just music, it was life events and situations that also tie in with music. Which made me realise that music is my life, it truly truly is. Everyone has a passion in life, it’s obviously what mine is.
Over the past five years of running this blog I have been fortunate enough to befriend bands (Royal Chant, I’m looking at you..lovingly of course) and I’ve discovered new bands that have just blown my mind. I’ve interviewed bands/singers that have inspired me in many ways (meeting Warpaint was beyond words) and I also made my role model, Shirley Manson cry with a piece I wrote about how important Garbage’s record Bleed Like Me is to me. Being thanked by Crocodiles for something I wrote about them meant more to me than I ever thought it would. I’ve never been paid to write anything, and as clichéd as it sounds- no amount of money can put a price on any of that, and also how much I love writing about music.
I’m still convinced that the only person who reads this is my mum. I’ll never get why anyone would go out of their way to read one of my rants, but when I get an email or whatever from someone on the other side of the world telling me they connected with something I’ve written; it justifies why I write. I do it for me, but I also do it in the hopes someone who loves music as much as I do doesn’t feel so alone and strange with their love for it.
With this being my 1000 post, I thought I should try write something of worth. Whether or not it is, well that’s a different subject entirely. It may make sense, it may just wind up being another nonsensical rant, which is usually is. I don’t need telling, I already know. As the end of 2012 approaches (or it may already have depending on your location) you see a lot of people taking to social networking sites declaring how the next year will be THEIR year or they are going to change. It irks me because, you can make whatever change you wish at any point. You announce these things but by the second week of January you hate yourself more than you ever did. Make life easier on yourself, and just carry on as normal. I say this, but I make life hard work for myself at times. It’s a fault, one of many.
I don’t like discussing my weight/how chubby I am because I’m not exactly a fan of myself. I could have easily been like most and said START OF THE YEAR I AM GETTING FIT. Over the past year and a half, I have been working on losing weight. It’s not easy. Fortunately, I really do enjoy going to the gym for a few hours and listening to music. I’d take a book with me but whilst on the treadmill I do look like a panic-stricken bear. When I go there, it doesn’t just get rid of my horrendous fat, but it clears the mind. I currently work at HMV, but it’s only a Christmas job. I love it. I bloody love it. For every grumpy customer, there is one that just makes your day. I’ve held up queues talking to people about bands, I’ve been hugged by customers because I helped them, I’ve had people sing to me then ask “do you have that one?” and the old favourite, “Excuse me..do you work here?” It is a brilliant job and those I’ve worked with are equally as brilliant. It was my third year there, and I think this year was my favourite. It just gives you a sense of pride and self-worth knowing you’ve helped someone. I must add, it is usually the older generation (60+) that are much kinder. Kids today are just rude really. Or maybe it’s the kids over here. I have no idea. Put down your iPads kids, and go take a walk. Use your mind. Come 5th January and I’ll be out of work, and on the Monday I’ll be taking that awful trip to the job centre to sign on. If you’ve never had your soul crushed and your dreams shat on; I suggest you go on the dole. If you want to be treated like dirt and have a wealth of self-hate upon you; go on the dole. My degree is useless, but I have no means of going back to uni. Of course in an ideal world I would have my own record shop, with a healthy selection of books. Later on I’d have my own publishing company. And finally, I’d be able to get a dog. These are hopes and dreams that maybe I’ll one day achieve.
We treat this time of year as a time of reflection. I don’t like thinking about the past, because it can sometimes make you debate what you want your future and present to be. Although, we cannot control the future. I firmly believe if something is going to happen, it will happen. I can relate this to the one I love. Many years ago, maybe something should have happened. Go forward five years and seeing her whilst in London during Pride (oh I know, but this one was alright so…) this year was truly the best thing to have happened. Part of my brain thought, “This could happen..somehow.” Every day since we have been talking, and FINALLY after waiting 5 years, this beautiful and perfect being is my girlfriend. I’m not a happy person naturally, but who is. But I finally know what sincere happiness and what true love is, thanks to her. It was always going to be her- and now it finally is. I’m working on trying to make her buy me a dog. Baby steps, I know. I know. It’s just lovely to be with someone who is full of love and kindness, and wants to change no part of me. Also means I get to spend more time in London too.
This year I have learnt that patience prevails. If you wait, it will happen. With reference to above, I can also link this in to music. Since 2009, I have been a huge fan of Crocodiles. They dragged me through a break-up, showed me a different (and better) world with their music and their lyrics claimed a part of my heart that needed claiming. I missed out on several tours, cue heartbreak and loathing wherever I was living at the time. 4th September they did a free gig at Rough Trade. Oh fate, how I love thee. I was already in London. I think I was staying for a week. I walked past Brandon and Charlie just outside Rough Trade. My stomach flipped. If I was 14 and mental, I may have chased them. Instead, I am a 26-year-old who gets tongue-tied most of the time. Their free gig at Rough Trade was a special moment for me. I paid no attention to anyone in the crowd. I don’t even think 100 hundred people were there. I sang to every song, I swayed and shut my eyes. I opened them, in awe and in shock of being right in front of the band that did more for me than they will ever know. Sadly, I was too much of a wuss to go up to them at the end and talk to them. Next time, I will. I vow to talk to them. About something, or nothing in particular.
My favourite music moment of this year has to be Dee Dee from Dum Dum Girls covering Just Like Honey by The Jesus And Mary Chain, just for me. Just for me. A nobody from nowhere. It started as a sweeping statement from myself on Twitter one evening. I was listening to Psychocandy, and just wrote on Twitter something like “Imagine if Dum Dum Girls covered Just Like Honey.” The next day I woke to a reply from Dee Dee telling me to email her. So I did. She replied telling me she would try to do a cover for me. A few months later, she emailed me the cover and wrote “For your ears only xx.” I do not think anyone in this world can understand what this meant to me, and still does. And yes, I did cry. I’ve been a fan for many years of Dum Dum Girls, and for this to happen just blew my mind. If I see them when they come to the UK, I just need to thank Dee Dee face to face for it. That’s all I can do. Their music has made certain events less shite, you know how it is. Coming Down is my go-to song. Rest Of Our Lives describes my love for the one I love. Season In Hell gives me hope and Catholicked brings me back to life.
This has gone on long. I think I’ve said too much, but I have more to say.
I’ve been freelancing for close to 7 years now, and I started this blog in 2008 as part of an Online Journalism module whilst at Uni. I think I was the only one in that class to keep up their blog. There have been times where I thought there was no point in writing. No point at all. There have been times where if, Writer’s Block was a person I would gladly thump it in the gut. But then I hear a song or find a new band, and my love is restarted and I cannot imagine me not writing. I just HAVE to do it. It keeps me going. I have never been paid to write. Never. No one has offered to do so. I’m not about money. I own nothing of worth. Material things mean nothing to me. My Docs have holes in them and I rip jeans more often than I should. I look like a 70s reject. I look like the lovechild of Joey Ramone and Patti Smith; if they ever had a child. I have had more job rejections than I can count, and each one is a kick in the gut. But a motivation to try harder. Although, I don’t know if I can try harder than I do. I’d love to write a book, but god knows what it would be about. Obviously music. I’ve always wanted to follow a band around and write a book about it (Royal Chant I am looking at you, and Warpaint.) The film, Almost Famous is to blame for that goal.
This year (and last) I’ve had many kind words said to me from bands, PR companies and record labels with regard to what I have written about them and their work. You cannot put a price on that. Of course I believe still, that the only person who reads this is my mum but hey. If you’ve got this far, then I’ll buy you a cup of tea one day. I’m easy to find, but please don’t look as you will be disappointed. This part is a thank you to all the bands that have got in touch with me, all the PR companies and record labels. You’ve made writing even more enjoyable. There are stand-out bands and labels I’d mention, but that wouldn’t be fair. You are all brilliant, so thank you.
I will always ALWAYS welcome new music from any genre, so please get in touch (olivia_cellamare@hotmail.co.uk) I don’t care if no one bar your mum knows you exist or if you’ve supported some household name on a lengthy tour. Music is music. Send it.
Don’t forget who you are, and do not let anyone tell you that you cannot do something. Or that your goals are stupid ideas. Freedom comes from the heart, goes up into the mind then is unleashed. Don’t make a prisoner out of yourself. It’s all okay. It’s going to be alright.
As if thinking of my favourite songs of the year didn’t hurt my head enough, I’m going through albums. This year I listened to less new music, mainly because my obsession for certain bands (that are either dead or split up) just came back. I may have missed out, I may not have. Who knows, why should you care. I do stand-by that EPs were better than full length records this year, but again; just my opinion. I found some obscure bands at 2am due to not being able to sleep, I also couldn’t get enough of Girls Aloud’s greatest hits (Something New is the best pop song of the year easily.) Some amazing debut albums came out this year from Emeli Sande to 2:54 to Willis Earl Beal. This year, in every sense has been alright. For me personally it picked up in July. Oh and when I saw Crocodiles FINALLY in September. Anyway. I’ve given myself a headache trying to think of my favourite albums of the year. My top 5 is a solid decision, but those before? I cannot put them in order. So what I’m going to do is be a boring twit and list the first 5 in no order. Then the 5 after will be in order. I’m making life hard for myself again, I know. It’s what I do. It is the only way I know how to function it seems.
Ellie Goulding-Halcyon.
The XX-Coexist.
Beach House-Bloom.
Cat Power-Sun.
Garbage-Not Your Kind Of People.
Spiritualized-Sweet Heart Sweet Light.
Willis Earl Beal-Acousmatic Sorcery.
Toy-Toy.
The Creeping Ivies-Stay Wild.
Bowl Cut-Anti-Everything EP.
Okay, I’ll stop listing records and write about my top 5.
5. Pop.1280- The Horror.Probably the most intense record released this year. It is dark, it is creepy and best of all; it is sinister. Everything cryptic you could feel is conjured up in this record. It’s not a record you play in the background whilst doing mundane tasks. No way. This is a record you play when you are alone. Do not listen to this when surrounded by anyone because they will just distract you from the music. The basslines and aggressive drums blow-up your eardrums and just freak you out. If this doesn’t move you in a menacing manner, then you’ve listened to it wrong. Simple as. I love The Horror because for me, it just has everything I love about music. I’m not a morbid person, I probably give off that vibe because I am prone to being grumpy (people need to stop being arses, that’s why. But I’m a bit shit so it all works out I guess) but this record takes you to a dark place in such a poetic manner. It’ll haunt you, but you don’t want it to leave you alone. Go with it.
4. Tamaryn-Tender New Signs.Every year a record comes out that makes you feel like you are living in a dream. It grabs your soul, and sways you. It is the much-needed hug at 3am when you cannot sleep and you miss the one you love because of distance. It is the comfort that you need when you feel hopeless. It is music for the soul, and it warms your bones. It owns a piece of your heart, and the ethereal vocals do something that just soothes you like no other. Tender New Signs was that record, for me. It is much like what The Fool by Warpaint was to me in 2010. It is on that level. So pure, and so divine. Tender New Signs is a dream that you cannot bring yourself to wake up from. Not many things in life are perfect, but this record is.
3. 2:54-2:54.The next three records are as follows: debut record of the year, EP of the year, favourite record of the year. 2:54 put out the best debut record of the year. Everything about it had that mind-blowing eerie vibe to it. Like you are being hunted down in a forest. Let’s be honest, you wouldn’t mind Colette or Hannah hunting you down would you. No, you wouldn’t. I just think they’re the best UK band around because they have something different to other bands. You can tell they are serious about the music, and play with such passion. I remember hearing the demo to Creeping in 2010 and just being hooked. I wanted more, but there wasn’t much around. I played it to death, and I’ve pretty much done the same with their record. Every song sends you into a trance that you never want to be shaken out of. I know I compare everything to Seventeen Seconds by The Cure, but I truly felt the same way listening to 2:54’s debut as I did when I first heard Seventeen Seconds years ago. Some people get excited about Christmas and such, I get excited over bands that make raw music like 2:54. If Sugar didn’t make you jolt your body, then something was up with you.
2. Dum Dum Girls-End Of Daze.EP OF THE YEAR. Anything DDG do just amazes me. Dee Dee’s songwriting on this EP just left me in awe. Season In Hell gave me hope, Mine Tonight broke my heart, I Got Nothing made me feel less alone and Lord Knows made me feel less shit about the bad in me. The cover of Trees And Flowers reduced me to tears (doesn’t take much, shut up.) End Of Daze feels like starting over. When you listen to End Of Daze, you feel as if you are being cleansed of all the bad that has gone on. Any bad you have done or any bad you have had done to you; it all fades as you listen to the glorious EP. I’ve taken walks listening to Dum Dum Girls, I’ve nearly broken gym equipment listening to them. I’ve found peace listening to them, in Dee Dee’s words. It is like finding a safety net, a cure for all. If you want hope and love, you will find it in a Dum Dum Girls song. Season In Hell is one of my favourite songs of the year because it just makes you feel like everything is worth it. When she sings, “Doesn’t the dawn look divine” it just lifts you up. End Of Daze is the purest healing process you will ever be exposed to. Be vulnerable, and take the words in.
1. Crocodiles-Endless Flowers.To hell with what anyone thinks, this is the best record of the year. You shouldn’t need telling why, but whatever. Maybe you do. Everything about Endless Flowers is wonderful. Summer Of Hate and Sleep Forever were quite brutal and raw. Endless Flowers is a gentle caress. No Black Clouds For Dee Dee is a gorgeous ode to Brandon’s wife (Dee Dee from Dum Dum Girls) and I think anyone who is in love will fully relate to the song. Everything about it is innocent and beautiful. Dark Alleys is my favourite. It’s over 5 minutes of euphoria. Seeing some of the songs from Endless Flowers, Summer Of Hate and Sleep Forever was truly one of the best things I experienced this year. Maybe it was because I had waited over 3 years for it. I guess I could class 2012 as just waiting things out, because the good finally happened. My girlfriend gave me a copy of Endless Flowers on vinyl as a Christmas present, and part of me doesn’t want to ever play it because I want it to stay as perfect as it is. Then the other part of me wants to hear it in all its fuzzy glory. I obviously will play it. Maybe I love the record even more now she bought me that, and it just reminds me of her. But it is truly my favourite record of the year because well, I just love Crocodiles. They’ve been a crutch over the past 3 and a bit years; Endless Flowers just reinforced my love for them. Not that it needed doing, but you get my point. I could go on forever about this record, but I’ve said enough. It’s my favourite, simple as.
Today was just another boring day. Then I came home from work and discovered that my favourites, Dee Dee (Dum Dum Girls) and Brandon’s(Crocodiles) single as Haunted Hearts was floating around on the internet. I’m having a moment listening to this. And by that I mean I am currently glad I am not deaf, or dead. This is truly brilliant. And I’m going to try tell you why.
It doesn’t take a genius to realise how important Dum Dum Girls and Crocodiles have been to me over the past few years. Crocodiles debut record dragged me through some shit times when it came out. Dum Dum Girls bring out the vulnerable side that isn’t so bad. Both bands have songs that ooze out any love and any frustrations you may carry around. When I hear No Black Clouds For Dee Dee I just automatically think of my girlfriend. When I hear Coming Down, I feel less shit about whatever I see. Although I’m 26, both bands are helping with the pain of growing up.
Brandon and Dee Dee are evidently the best couple in music. You don’t need to have a brain like Einstein to know how much they adore and love each other, just listen to their songs. So when they make music together, the love is still going to be there, right? Of course.
I cannot tell you enough how excited I am about them making music together as Haunted Hearts. I really can’t. Imagine if they toured together and brought it to the UK. I am writing that in the hopes they see this, and do it. It’d be like that time I saw Morrissey for the first time and felt life make sense for once.
Brandon’s vocals are caressed gently by Dee Dee, which are both hypnotically intertwined which just catapults you into a state of bliss, and of course ; love. The way they sing “tie me up” and “tie me down” is just so utterly divine.
There are so many things I could say about this song, but all you need to know for now is that it pours out the purest sense of devotion. Devotion in a way that most wouldn’t understand. Music is the foundation and glue to most of the best things in life. This is a beautiful moment in music, and I honestly cannot wait for the record. I think I’m going to just be a recluse for a while when it comes out. Just to deal with how beautiful it is going to be.
You’ve obviously heard Blank Girl by Dum Dum Girls and Brandon, right? It’s on the I Will Be record, and that again just shows how they make such beautiful music together. Not forgetting their Christmas song, Merry Christmas Baby (Please Don’t Die.)
The single is out on the 5th February on their label, Zoo Music. Which although is a bit after Valentine’s, would still make a good present (that’s a hint..a massive hint.)
I feel I should give you 5 reasons as to why this song is nothing short of perfection, so here it goes :
Their vocals together is like a dream. You know how some things in life are just meant to be? Well, that’s the case here. This had to happen, sure it took a while. But it’s happened. Proof that you’ve got to wait it out, and the good will come. So yeah, the vocals are stunning.
The guitar makes you feel like you’re on a trip. You’re floating off into the sun with the one you love with you and nothing really matters. And why should it, when you have the one you adore with you. It warms your bones.
You can keep hitting repeat and you find different things to fall in love with. I’m on my tenth listen I think. I don’t plan on stopping until it’s time to go to bed.
It’s an unconventional love song, and they are ALWAYS the best kind.
It makes you want to write your own masterpiece and dedicate it to the one you adore.
So there you have it. Another ramble as to why I love a song more than I love some things. I don’t care. This has brightened up my dull Monday. I know most are going to say this songs sounds a bit like The Jesus And Mary Chain, but to be honest it sounds like two people who are in love, making incredible music. And guess what? That’s exactly what it is!
You have good years and bad years with music, well life in general. Last year was alright but this year was pretty damn good. I bought more records this year than I did last year. I never have any money, but the money I do have spare goes on music. Rather on stuff I need. Such as clothes, as most of mine are a bit worn out. Or some new boots as my Docs are hanging on for dear life. They’ve been through a lot, but I think I can drag them through hell a bit longer.
This year for all reasons possible was rather good. Ignore all the crisis in the world and how society at times is fucked, then you’re okay. It’s been alright. And there have been some rather wonderful songs to go with it. Now, if this was a list of SONGS THAT MADE OLIVIA HAD A HERNIA WHEN PLAYED IN A VEHICLE, then Call Me Maybe would be my number 1 choice. Quite possibly one of the best pop songs to have been released in a long time. But did it come out last year? I’m not sure. But that song makes me happy, and I don’t even care. We’ve all made our own versions of it. Probably full of smut, but who cares.
So, here’s my list of songs that brought all kinds of joy and various emotions into my ears; and everywhere else. There are so many songs I know I have missed out, but I’ve got a really bad memory and I’ll want to change my mind after writing this. As always.
10. The Creeping Ivies- Ghost Train.Music should have elements that just freak you out. It should make you feel as if spirits are haunting you (I don’t mean a bad glass of whiskey.) It should fill you with sinister vibes that you just cannot shake, but the thing is- part of you doesn’t want to get rid of them. The haunting chills you get from Ghost Train are just stunning. My love for Becca and Duncan is ridiculous. They make me feel I am anywhere but in this time. That’s something that is entirely rare. I have woken up many a mornings where this song is in my head, and stays there for the duration of the day. That’s when I have my good days. The Creeping Ivies just make perfect eerie music that just reinforces my love for music.
9. Swim Deep-King City.I know I could have picked Honey, but King City mentions Jenny Lee Lindberg from Warpaint. That alone makes this song brilliant. It gives you a Summertime feeling, even if we are in the murky depths of November. I remember first hearing it and just being blown away. They have this gentle, euphoric tone to their music that just soothes you. It is like your being swayed. Your worries and troubles mean nothing when you listen to Swim Deep.
8. Jack White-Love Interruption.Anything Jack White does is just a piece of musical heaven. A stroke of genius. He has this way of creating something so insane yet pure. The lyrics to Love Interruption are mighty strange, yet you relate to them. You won’t let love corrupt you in any way, anymore. The music is so simple and stripped back but you can hear such frustration in his voice. A hint of longing just purifies the song. Ruby’s delicate and quivering vocals makes the song a lot more honest and vulnerable than it would be without. It’s just a gorgeous song that sums up everything love should be, and all you won’t let it be.
7. Ellie Goulding-Figure 8.This song pleasantly smacks you in the chops. I wanted to pick Only You, but that’s because I’m obsessed with the drums in it. A tribal feel to it, but I’ve gone with Figure 8 because there is something about this song that makes you feel a bit alive, yet sad at the same time. I think you can take the “And lovers hold on, to everything” in many ways I suppose. In a way, it is like Ellie is telling lovers to hold onto anything and everything. Or maybe she is saying lovers cling onto anything because they do not want to be without. Her second record is nothing like her debut, and that’s why I adore it and why I adore Ellie’s music. She still has such honesty to her songs, and the lyrics are darker; which is probably why I love them.
6. Beach House-New Year.Very nearly picked Wild, but I’ve gone with New Year because it means a lot to me. So does Myth. Myth just breaks my heart. New Year is 5 minutes of hope. In fact, the Bloom record is just a collection of songs that give you hope. It is like Victoria and Alex are giving you life lessons. Words to provide comfort and hope to those who listen. Everything about their music makes you feel as if they are cradling your soul. Soothing and swaying you as you face things you wish you could turn from. It is hard to turn away from some things and some people. Sometimes we can bring ourselves to do so; sometimes we can’t. I make life so difficult for myself (and probably others) but when I listen to Beach House, especially New Year, it is almost as if nothing really matters for that moment. New Year just makes you think about everything in a way you’ve never done before. It opens up your eyes and soul. It heals your heart.
5. Tamaryn-Heavenly Bodies.As Warpaint didn’t release anything this year, I’m declaring Tamaryn responsible for making the most ethereal song of the year, and the most tranquil record of the year also. Heavenly Bodies makes you feel as if you are drifting towards the most perfect and relaxed place possible. It makes you feel alive, even as your eyes become sleepy as you listen to this gorgeous song. You fall in love with everything surrounding it. You notice different layers to Heavenly Bodies as you listen to it through headphones. It is like a magical journey to something so divine as you listen to it. I adore the line, “She’s a fool but time is a thief.” I cannot explain why, but I just do. The song brings out a true sense of inner peace, and guides those gently, who feel slightly lost.
4. Crocodiles-Endless Flowers.The perfect opener to my favourite record of the year. I hold this song, this band and this record very dear to my heart. Their lyrics are romantic. Even when dark, they still have a romantic feel to it. No Black Clouds For Dee Dee is my favourite love song of the year. Yes, it reminds me of the one I love and adore. Endless Flowers is another song that gives you hope. I love the line, “I’ll bide my time swimming in your eyes, on some faraway screen.” It is easy to lose yourself in the one you love, and their eyes. Endless Flowers is a taste of devotion. A wonderful song that makes you wish you could create your own kind of ode to love.
3. Dum Dum Girls-Lord Knows.I’m going to try keep my ramble about this song as brief as I can. Lord Knows offers redemption and comfort in those who have hurt others. “I want to live a pure life” is such a vulnerable line. What I adore about Dee Dee is her vulnerable lyrics. She isn’t afraid to be so open with her words. That takes courage and strength that most shy away from. The intro to the song feels like the sun rising, giving you hope for another day. A chance to be better. The repetition of the chorus is like a chant, a mantra to stop you from hurting those you love. I love love love the line, ” ‘Cause every time you think of me, the black covers what might be.” Lord Knows offers so much solace, much like most of their songs. It is pure and truthful. It oozes out everything you wish you could. I guess next time you mess up, play this song. You’ll be alright. You always are.
2. The Long Wives-Judas Hex.I play this song nearly every day. I listen to The Long Wives a lot. Brandy’s voice is easily one of the best around. Discovering her music this year made everything a bit easier. We all have shit days, and how we get through them should make us tougher. I try to be tough, but I don’t think I have it in me. I don’t see it as a bad thing anymore. I’d rather be sure of how I feel rather than be emotionally numb. Judas Hex is so dark and simple. Just her voice and a guitar. Her voice is so so haunting. It isn’t overpowering at all. You don’t need a grand voice to be heard. Her voice is quietly powerful. I know it sounds like a contradiction, but she has something that no other will ever have. Or has ever had. Judas Hex evokes such devilish imagery in your mind, but they aren’t enough to scare you. You just embrace it, go with it. There’s no harm in it at all. Brandy’s voice lures you in, and once you are there- no part of you can leave. You just don’t want to. She is easily my favourite solo artist of the year. She’s just beautiful in all ways possible.
1. Saint Lou Lou-Maybe You.This song breaks my heart. This song makes me happy. This song is the best song of the year. It is gentle, it is delicate and utterly sad. I do like sad songs, but I don’t like obviously sad songs. Only when you pay close attention to the lyrics do you notice how heartbreaking this song is. What drew me in at first was the music. It felt like being on a bed of water, floating towards a state of bliss. Then I listened very closely to the lyrics and such sadness crept up on me. Since I first heard Maybe You, I have played it every day. I just have to always hear it. I have no idea what their record will sound life, but if it has the same elements as Maybe You (dreamy, blissed-out with shades of sadness) then they will probably become responsible for creating a sound that hasn’t been done before, and is of course, much-needed. I’ve mentioned before in previous posts the line I love the most in this song, but I adore “And if you’ve got an emptiness inside, you should let our worlds recollide.” The song offers reassurance and reconciliation. It’s just beautiful. There’s nothing else I can say about this song that I haven’t already said to anyone who may listen to me.
*I’d also like to add that Inhaler by Foals is bloody brilliant and I reckon their new record will be a massive highlight of 2013.
I was thinking about something earlier as I was leaving the house to go the gym. My days off are spent there in the hopes I can somehow change how I look and stop disliking myself as much as I do. Self-hate doesn’t leave you, does it? Or maybe it does. Maybe I am set to loath myself in my 20’s so I can learn to like myself from 30 onwards. I’ve got 4 years left of this, maybe I’ll go against this theory. Or maybe I’ll give in to it. It depends. I use my stubborn ways for the wrong thing. Always bad, never good.
So this thing about self-hate. I dislike it when people say things such as “I AM SO VILE. I AM SO FAT.” when they weigh next to nothing. The worst kind put this on certain websites. No one really cares about how much you hate yourself. You see, I dislike myself but I’m not going to announce it everywhere for attention. In a way, I’ve just “announced” it but no one I know or whatever reads this so it doesn’t matter. I’m not doing this for pity or for anyone to say “You’ve got a good face. You’re okay as you are.” I don’t want that. I don’t want any form of attention. Good or bad. If I get a hair cut, please don’t notice. Just don’t pick up on it. Go look at something else. Like a painting; that’s much more interesting.
I don’t dislike myself because I’m a miserable twat. I just do. There’s no explanation to it; but I constantly work on trying not to. I don’t dislike myself as much as I did when I was a teenager or going back a few years. You have to take baby steps with things like that. I don’t go to the gym because I want the body of a stick insect. Far from it. I have in my head, a goal. I’ve not told anyone nor will I ever. I know a person’s weight or appearance doesn’t define them, but we live in a judgemental world sadly. I get constantly told to stop wearing black all the time. Am I going to? Am I fuck. I’d go out in my superhero pjs if I could (one of the many brilliant presents my girlfriend got me for my birthday.) but they’re a bit long and I’d trip up.
I thought that, the older I get; the less dislike I’d have for myself. To an extent I’m right. I doubt myself a lot, especially with writing. I don’t do it because I want someone to say I’m any good. I do it because if I thought I was good, I’d stop. Self-doubt isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it is the one thing that can make you carry on. It lasts longer than hope. I’ve never been good at much, and I don’t mean it in a bad way. Some part of me just doesn’t settle. Or maybe doesn’t want to. The thought of being in one place for the rest of my life makes me feel sick. Maybe this is because I’ve never really felt at home anywhere. Maybe I should work on that, or maybe it’s okay to carry on drifting through. I’m alright with being unnoticed. I don’t think my purpose in life is to be noticed. Why would I want that.
I think a lot of people think they’re not good enough, but surely if you surround yourself with people who make you feel inadequate then you are hanging around the wrong kind of people? I could be wrong. I could be right.
You’ll make friends and enemies on the way. You’ll have good days, you’ll have bad days. You’ll like yourself, you’ll dislike yourself. But NEVER any account must you let someone make you feel shit about yourself, ever. You can do that all by yourself, but it’s easier to understand and control. You don’t always have to walk with your head held high, sometimes the cracks in the pavement are much more interesting than your surroundings. You don’t stop learning. Time is a drag, and it seems like it is never on our side. Someone will love you even if you cannot stand yourself. You may not be able to understand how or why; but they do. It is there. They are there.
The uncool and the lonely trade nauseating stories about how hard it is; how leaving the house is a chore. How standing up rids them of energy, sitting down zones them out. Some kind of feeling takes them over. The find some kind of identity in the songs that cause others to feel as if their ears are bleeding. They feel like something full of shame. Full of shame, drained of devotion. How you seen it happen? A haunting glare is in their eyes. Maybe you’ve been this person. Maybe you’re getting there. There is always one person you fight to not be anything like that. Their traits make you feel ill. The things they’ve said and done are placed inside of you; you’ve let it go but it doesn’t let you go. It is frustrating because you are someone who doesn’t have a tight grip. But this thing…this THING has got a grip on you. You could call it a death grip, but you know it won’t be the end of you. For you know you’ll rise above it.
I mean, it is fairly easy to get sucked into something you despise, and turning your back on it also exhausts you. Self-exclusion is a sign of strength, but others don’t see it that way. But why should you care how others see it? Do what you want, always.
It is draining stopping yourself being like someone you cannot allow yourself to be. Sometimes someone says, “You’ve got their eyes” or “I’ve seen that look before from….” That shit crushes you, but you carry on. The only person who can stop you from doing anything or being anything is yourself I guess. Comments can put your self-belief in the ground. You seem to caress the bad and shun the bad. Why is that? Because the shit people say about us, that ruins us- is easier to believe. You’ll pull yourself above it at some point. Patience gets you further than anything else. As you get older, you learn that more than before.
Eternal youth starts inside. The lines on your face and the heaviness in your eyes are stories. Tell them how you want, but tell it from the heart.
Beat In My Bones. 