Tag Archives: Patti Smith

“It’s damned if you don’t and it’s damned if you do. Be true ’cause they’ll lock you up in a sad sad zoo.”

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They’ll take your freedom in any way they can. They’ll tear out your tongue. They’ll break your heart. You can find a sense of romance in almost anything; but not that. People judge, and people will call you out on things you haven’t done. Things you haven’t said. Do it back, they say. But you can’t. You’re not a cruel person. You’re sensitive and you hate yourself for it. You can hate yourself for so many reasons, this is one of them. But it’s okay because at least you don’t lie to yourself. Kid yourself and spiral into a frenzy of lies; that’s what most do. I’d rather be honest with myself than be a judgemental cunt. This is all for a reason. I have a point.

Monday night, I went out. I’m wishing I hadn’t because since then I’m carrying a feeling I cannot get rid of, and it’s starting to get to me. I’d rather write this down than do the normal thing of telling someone face to face or whatever. Anyway.

I’ll be the first to admit my face isn’t all that. I wear black all the time (I have a pair of red creepers, a red Sonic Youth shirt and a red Iggy Pop shirt..I don’t really wear them.) Just because I wear black all the time doesn’t mean I am going to stab you and offer your heart as some kind of sacrifice. I notice nothing when I go outside, I just put my headphones in and walk. I look at the ground or whatever because over here, eye contact isn’t good. Eye contact, I have learnt is never good. If I look at you when I talk to you it’s probably because I probably think you’re alright. I’m getting better. For a while I’ve been working on the whole self-confidence thing. You know how you get people who do the whole “OH FUCK ME I AM SO VILE TODAY JUST LOOK AT ME” and take about 50 photos of themselves (they do it on a camera phone and probably use Instagram too) and just want attention? Physically, I dislike myself a hell of a lot. I’m fat, short and my face is unfortunate. I’ve re-joined the gym so at least I can stop being a chubber. As a person, I like to think I have some positive traits. My Bob Dylan impression is a treat (can only do it if I’ve had whiskey) and my hugs are alright. Despite the fact that I probably look like a moody twat, I laugh at most things (obviously not at racist jokes and the like, I’m not a cunt.) I’m a lot of good thing, I’m a lot of bad things. I know what I am, no one else has the right to judge.

So, on Monday as I was leaving this bar with some friends I walked past a tabel of about 4 or 5. I didn’t look at them, but I knew they were there. I’m oblivious to most things, but for some reason my ears actually picked up on what was said.

“FUCKING LESBIAN.”

Wow..cheers for that. Do you feel better for that? I hope you did. I really do. I get weird looks ALL the fucking time here. All the time. I only leave the house if I have to. I go to the gym every day, but I walk there and where I live is quiet so I don’t really have to walk past anyone. Going to town for me, is my idea of hell. I hate it. I hate leaving the house.

When I’m in England I’m totally fine. I can walk around London or Manchester at 3am and feel completely safe. Here? Not at all. Not in the slightest. At 25 years old, you’d think I’d be alright with going outside right? Wrong. It’s anywhere but here. Everyday I wake up and wish I was somewhere else. I can’t help but think I was really awful in my past life and this is payback. Never mind, right?

I’d rather live on the streets in a city I love than wake up here one more day. It’s doing more than crushing my soul; it’s destroying me as a person.

They say, “Keep trying.” But I am. Fuck me I am trying, but I get nothing. I’m heading nowhere fast.

I live somewhere that destroys me everyday. I used to be strong and okay with myself. That’s all going. This is why this is coming out.

It took a LOT for me to come out (my mum is so fucking liberal, so I’m blessed in that way) but it still scared me to do so. I know how hard it is to let that part of you, especially when you are from such a small-minded place. My mother always told me, “Be true to yourself and don’t live a lie.” I may act like I don’t listen to people, but that is something I carry with me. It’s hard to keep at it at the moment. I guess I just have to.

To judge someone based on how they look or sexuality or anything is the most pathetic thing in the world. Maybe I should’ve said something to this idiot, but I didn’t fancy being punched. I’ve been hit enough times in my life; I don’t really fancy it again. I cannot hit anyone. I could never bring myself to do it. I’d probably runaway crying. Sure I may be overly sensitive and I may take too much to heart; but at least I can feel. I’d rather be this way than totally numb.

It’ll take a while before I “get over” this, and to any of my friends I had a rant about this all too since..I am sorry. I apologise for most things but..yeah. Anyway. I cannot change what has happened. It’s just pissed me off that we live in a world where people think it is okay to be obnoxious and cruel.

One step forward and about fifty back.

“Throw her to the earth through the burning air. Big bang survivor.”

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Over the past few weeks..maybe months I have ended up playing the same few songs every day on repeat. Fully aware no one will care about what I’m listening to, but maybe one person does. If one person does, then goes to listen to the following songs and likes them- then I’m okay with that. I have no idea how many I’m going to list as there’s a few. I’ll try cut it down.

My love for Jesca is BIG. Big love for her. Her voice is stunning. She is a fascinating artists. She needs to be huge. I want her to take over the world and as many hearts as possible in the process. This song is bloody brilliant. Born To is quite inspirational, then again it depends on the kind of person you are really. Anyway, I think the chorus is just beautiful. I love her..that’s all there is to it really. 

 POLIÇA are SO good. This is the kind of music you just zone out to. Nothing really matters when you listen to them. That’s what you need, you need something that just cancels everything out. It’s sort of like having a friend or whatever that means more to than anything, and no one or nothing can take you away from it. I could be wrong. It’s a beautiful song. Their debut record is utterly perfect. It’s like Heaven in record form.

Alright, I cannot put into words how much I love Metric and how excited I am that their new record is FINALLY here. Was it worth the wait? It’s Metric! Of course it bloody well was. I love this song SO much. Probably my favourite off the album, and if you don’t have it- why not? Mug someone for the money if you must, and buy it. I just love it. Artificial Nocturne is such a wonderful opener to Synthetica. I love the lyrics so much. “I’m just as fucked up as they say I can’t fake the daytime . Found an entrance to escape into the dark. Got false lights for the sun. It’s an artificial nocturne.  It’s an outsider’s escape for a broken heart.” Think I’ve found my favourite lyric of the year.

You know how much I love Crocodiles. They’ve pretty much been my life since 2009. They’ve dragged me out of hell and into whatever I seem to be in now. All three of their records mean a lot to me. Endless Flowers is EASILY in my Top 3 favourites of the year. I cannot fault, why would I want to? How could you find fault in this band? You just can’t. Endless Flowers is going to get me through Summer. I’m going to need all the help I can get. I did want to choose another track, but I think (I may be wrong) Endless Flowers is the next single. It’s bloody excellent anyway!

THEESatisfaction are a duo that pretty much, again back up my theory that duos are the best. There’s something about two people making music. You feel more connected because you know they probably work harder as there’s less of them. Just look at The Kills, Beach House etc- you can feel the connection so deeply. You cling onto every word. THEESatisfaction are incredible. Their record will blow your mind. They’re one band I am utterly desperate to see live. 

I never would’ve listened to this song if I didn’t know Shirley Manson had co-written this song. I never would’ve known Sky had a new song out if it wasn’t for Sky. I’ve had this on repeat most of the day. And yes, I love the video. Sky is beautiful. I can ignore the bastarding thing with 8 legs that’s all up in this video and accept it is art. I really can. The bass in the intro reminds me of that song, Owner Of A Lonely Heart for some odd reason. I absolutely ADORE this song. And you know, regardless who co-wrote it or not- this song is fucking insane. It feels like a massive “FUCK YOU.” For that reason alone, it reminds me of Garbage’s Stupid Girl. I just love this song. And if her new record sounds like this, I’m buying it. Actually, I’ll probably buy it anyway. So long as there are no more spiders featured… 

My love for Cold Cave is EXACTLY like my love for Crocodiles. I discovered them both at the same time. On the same day. I’ll always remember it. Something so miserable turned into something worth sticking around. I’ve ALWAYS had much love for Wes (I was a fan of American Nightmare.) I love his lyrics. He’s extremely clever, dark and intense. Everything I love really. I just love this b-side a hell of a lot. His lyrics never cease to amaze me. 

Patti Smith’s new record, Banga is perfect. That’s the only word to describe it. I could pick any song off the record, but I had to..I just had to pick her tribute to Amy Winehouse. We’re sadly (it never should’ve happened) approaching a year since Amy died. I’ve not listened to her music since that day. No part of me has been able to sit down and listen to it. I just cannot do it. I wish I could because I used to play her music every single day. Since she died..I physically cannot do it. Patti’s tribute to Amy Winehouse is just beautiful. I hope her family hear it, I really do. For someone such as Patti to do this is truly wonderful. Most just give Amy a quick mention in thank yous or whatever- but Patti has created such a beautiful tribute. You take it as a reminder that Amy was so delicate and loving, no matter what- we must never forget that.

Swim Deep put out the best song of the year with King City. Don’t question it, don’t doubt it. These lads are the best thing to have come out of Birmingham in such a long time. They’re just fucking insane. Beach Justice is equally as perfect as King City. King City mentions Jenny Lee Lindberg from Warpaint, so obviously I’m going to have a lot of love. Beach Justice has a more, and as much as I hate to use it, “dream-pop” feel to than other songs I’ve heard from them. I’ve pretty much abused my soundcloud account listening to Swim Deep all the time. I’m not even sorry. Swim Deep truly show London up. Don’t always assume London is where it is at! Pay close attention to Swim Deep. Best new band of the year. Easily.

 2:54 have no doubt, put out the best debut record of the year. I could’ve picked any song off the record. I probably would’ve put the whole thing up, but I settled with Easy Undercover because for some reason (which I am currently trying to forget) the lyrics mean the most. I’ve had the record on constant repeat since it came out. I cannot bring myself to take the cd out of my cd player. I cannot go outside and listen to anything but this band. Since 2010 I’ve been in love with them. The first few seconds of Creeping stole my heart away. You know how I feel about Warpaint? Well, it happened with 2:54. They just have something that is not in any other band around right now. Every song they’ve done (album and b-sides) well, they’re just everything I love about music. I’m going to stop before this turns into a “Reasons as to why I love 2:54” thing again.

Patti Smith-April Fool.

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If it wasn’t for Patti, I probably wouldn’t care for words. I wouldn’t care for how people pronounced words or wrote words. Words would be meaningless to me. Because of her, I’m obsessed with words. I believe in words not actions, and I’m possibly in the minority with that. You can fake actions just as you can fake your words- but you still cling onto the fact that there may be some honesty in the words. It just depends. You can make yourself believe in anything if you want it to be true enough.

There are many reasons as to why I love April Fool (I know I’m late on this, sorry.) The main reason being it has Tom Verlaine on guitar. Tom was the frontman of one of the greatest bands ever (and highly underrated) Television. His solo work is just as inspiring and important as his work with Television. I want to talk about Richard Hell, but I will go off on one. I’ll save that for another day. My love for Richard Hell is always kept in my heart, away from harm.

April Fool just shows how delicate and loving Patti is. Her words have been my crutch. You see, Patti is the only solid thing that has EVER made me feel like I can do anything. All too often people are quick to say you cannot do something. Patti is the only force that has made me believe that these dreams I have, that may seem stupid and crazy to someone…aren’t stupid or crazy at all. She taught me how to put my heart and soul into something without letting it drain me. Shirley Manson makes me want to be tough, Patti Smith makes me want to make things happen for me. Everything about her is just so wonderful and beautiful. She is just everything I’d love to me. But I’m me, and I’m starting to see that it’s not such a bad thing.

April Fool makes you want to fall in love with a fellow writer and just escape. Patti’s music and lyrics have always shown me that there’s a better life, and it’ll come if I stick at it. My love for her is probably too much for my body to contain. I keep her words in my heart and constantly on my mind. She goes beyond being everything to me. Some people just have that indescribable quality about them that blows your mind; Patti has that.

“The World’s a beast of a burden….”

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Everyone has a song or two (or if you’re like me, about 50) that when they listen to it, there’s always a specific part in the song that just hits them. It wraps itself around your soul, makes your heart beat double and you just lose your mind. This part of the song is the reason why you’re glad to be alive. This part of the song makes you feel alive and untouchable. You play this song, and nothing can get to you. No negative vibes stick to you. You feel like a Superhero or something. This song makes you feel like you can take on the world. That specific breakdown, that one lyric- it hits you right in the gut. I’ve narrowed mine down to 10 songs that, at the moment make me feel like this. However, as soon as I’ve posted this, I will probably want to change my mind. I’ll try stick to it this time, and I’m not sorry for how much I’ll rant. You don’t have to read this. As you were….

Florence + The Machine- What The Water Gave Me. With this song, I’ve got more than one part that sends me into some kind of frenzy. An outer body experience. You know how religous people go on about having some kind of religious experience? That’s what I get from Florence. Especially with the second record. Ceremonials feels like some kind of ritualistic cleansing of the soul. After you listen to it, you feel pure and free again. It just enlightens you in so many ways. If you’ve ever felt trapped and frustrated-play this record. It will blow all of those taunting feelings away from you. At around 2.14 in this song, that’s when it first hits me in the gut. I cannot put it into words, but the build up from there on just sets my soul on fire and throws me into an outer body experience. The chorus at just 3 minutes when it is pretty much acapella and the music kicks in again at around 3.28, when Rob’s guitar just throttles you and makes you want to shake every limb, and move in ways that look like you are having a fit- THAT is the best part of the song. This overwhelming sense of euphoria Florence creates is SO good. It’s a rare thing to find, so when you find it- hold onto it with all you have. I could quite happily write thousands and thousands of words about this song, but just listen to it and let yourself feel free- and be overcome with a wonderful euphoric feeling. I know most of Florence’s songs make you feel this way, but What The Water Gave Me is on a different level completely.

Patti Smith-Frederick. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not really a fan of lovesongs. However, I do believe that this is the greatest ode to love, devotion and admiration I have ever heard. And will ever hear. The way she sings, “Frederick, name of care” at around 26 seconds in, you can just sense how much she loves him. I can safely say that this is my favourite Patti song. Don’t get me wrong, I adore her politically charged songs; but this one is everything a lovesong should be. It just oozes dedication and pure love. It takes time to find a love like this, Patti was one of the lucky ones to experience this feeling. That feeling that makes you feel this way. The feeling that is blanket of care and a beacon of hope. That’s what love should be, yet most of us take it for granted. Or most of us just haven’t felt it yet. You’ll know when you feel it though, because you will feel exactly how Patti feels in this song. It’s a feeling that cannot be rushed, but to feel it like this-well it is utterly sacred. Cherish it my loves, because some may try to take it from you. But don’t worry if you haven’t found it yet. Don’t let society force you to fall for just anyone. You’ll meet your very own Frederick or Patti one day, for sure.

Foals-Spanish Sahara. This was probably one of my favourite songs from 2010. The stunning build up in this song just made you feel like you were stood right in front of Yannis as he poured his heart out into this song. You felt each fragment of fury and every haunting aspect of the horrors that can consume you- when you are least expecting it. You felt comforted by this song, because you felt like you could leave your horrors and nightmares behind and just carry on. I’ve never seen Foals live, but to see this song live, I’d imagine it’d be one of those life changing moments that cause something in your brain to click. It just makes you think, “Fuck it. I can do this.” A song like this is one that most spend their career trying to write. Driving themselves insane just to touch on something even slightly as moving as this. This song, I’ve used many times to just make sense of everything. You know what it’s like. You have a shit day and feel like there is really no point. Music is my only constant. It’s the first thing I go to when it all gets too much, and Spanish Sahara is one of the songs that gives me, strength I suppose. Their song, After Glow also does the same.

Dum Dum Girls-Coming Down. I remember falling in love with Dum Dum Girls a long time ago. Their first album had this sound that I adore. A surfer pop/lo-fi feel mixed with a Wall Of Sound vibe. A lot of bands I listen to have this sound. I personally thing it is stunning. Mixing a garage rock sound with what Phil Spector created just shows how timeless certain genres immediatley became decades and decades ago. I didn’t think I could love their second record as much as I loved their first. So, I sat down and listened to it. I listened to it with no distractions. I was in awe of everything I was hearing. Dee Dee Penny is evidently one of the best front-women around right now. There’s a part in Coming Down that anyone who’s listened to it, will know EXACTLY which part I am going to mention. The song is quite sad and my lord, it really tugs at your heartstrings. The song lasts 6 and a half minutes, and is 6 and a half minutes of utter beauty and brilliance. However, at 3 and a half minutes- Dee Dee hits this note that just makes you freeze. You shut your eyes and nod in agreement. She’s letting it all out for you. You cannot let it out yourself, she is doing it for you on this song. Everything you feel that’s been building up for so long just comes out in this song. That note she clings onto and lets out- you cling onto it with her. It’s like your safety net. I’m not ashamed to admit that this song is my safety net, my crutch. When I listen to it, every sense is heightend and things do not seem that bad anymore. I’ve cried to this song, and I’ve been wonderfully joyful whilst listening to this song. It’s just everything to me, and honestly- it made 2011 a lot easier to drag myself through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7lQFdvDDZA

The Horrors-Sea Within A Sea. I would’ve picked She Is The New Thing, but you really cannot deny that this song is a stroke of genius. A masterpiece- much like the whole album if I’m honest. I know exactly where I was when I first heard Sea Within A Sea. If memory serves me correctly, the video to this was launched on The Horrors website at 8pm one evening in 2009. I remember sitting in front of my computer hitting refresh on their site waiting for this to appear. There was a countdown to something. Most of us knew it would be something to do with new material. 8pm came, and the shadows of The Horrors was there. You knew what was about to happen. The song is just under 8 minutes long, and just reinforces my belief that songs that last over 5 minutes are the best. Easily. The euphoric part comes in just after 3.40. The synths really really kick in, and Faris’ voice captivates you more than it ever has done before. The build up as he sings, “So you may think the path we share, is one of danger and of fear….” is so amazing, it creates this wonderful tension between you and the song. You wonder what will happen next. Will there be another build up? Will it smack you in the face? YES. Yes to all of it. If you’re one of those who are only just getting into The Horrors (you’re late. You’ve really missed out, seriously. Go listen to Strange House. PLEASE) then hopefully you will see just how amazing The Horrors have always been. They’re a band that no one can predict their next sound. That is why I adore them, with all I have. The Horrors have captured every sound I love, and created their own- but changing on very record.

Warpaint-Lissie’s Heart Murmur. Every song by Warpaint makes me feel content and glad to be alive, so picking just one song was enough to cause a slight headache…and having to listen to Exquisite Corpse and The Fool a few times before I picked a song to stick with. Sure I could’ve chosen Stars, Billie Holiday or Warpaint. But, I had to go with Lissie’s Heart Murmur because let’s face it, it’s my favourite Warpaint song. For me, listening to Warpaint is a sacred experience. The intro to this song, the piano sounds like tears falling free from your face. At the end of crying, that feeling you get when you realise it’s all going to be okay- that’s what this song feels like to me. It feels like the aftermath of crying your heart out. I can’t pick out a set euphoric moment in this song, the whole song is just a beautiful experience. It is so perfect, to the very core. I could quite happily play this song, and never listen to anything else. Emily’s voice is so haunting and mesmirising on this song, more than on any other song. So many times I have just laid on my bed and played this song over and over through headphones. It’s one of those songs where you have to listen to, on your own- with no interruptions. I don’t think I’m doing this song any justice, so I’ll just link you to it. Hopefully you’ll understand why I love it so much.

The Cure- A Forest. Like my view on the song above, I can’t possibly pick a moment in this song that makes me feel so happy. I love The Cure, and Seventeen Seconds is my favourite album by the band. I remember hearing it and feeling like I was in some kind of trance. I felt like I was in a permenant dreaming state, I didn’t want to wake from it. I still feel like that when I listen to the album now. They created  a sound on that record that has evidently influenced so many, Warpaint being one of them. Personally, Jenny’s bass playing always reminds me of The Cure. That wonderful, floating feeling you get. You feel like you are drifting off into someone so pure and perfect. A Forest is probably my favourite song by The Cure. I love the slight distortion on Robert Smith’s voice in this song, you really have to listen hard to hear what he is saying as the music creeps in and takes over. It is a chilling and eerie song, much like the whole album really. Some say this song and album define The Cure. But let’s be honest not, you can’t ever define a band like The Cure. I feel that, no matter what I say about this song it really won’t show it in the light I want it to. But any genuine fan of The Cure (as in someone who doesn’t just like Friday I’m In Love) can see just how inspirational they ae. Not to mention ahead of their time with all their records. They were the blueprint of this sound. Utter perfection.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzFmlRCyVUs&feature=related

The Kills-Superstition. Attempting to pick one song by favourite duo EVER was a chore. I couldn’t do it. I left it for ages, wrote down some idead. Scribbled them out, wrote new ones. A mini riot occured inside trying to figure out which song I could use. I wanted to use The Last Goodbye, then Pots And Pans. Then I wanted No Wow. Then I wanted Cat Claw. I settled finally with Superstition. When Alison lets out that scream in Superstition, it is just so electrifying. You feel like she is right there, in your face letting out this gnarly growl that actually, sounds so heavenly. I could pick any song by The Kills. With all their b-sides and four records, it was difficult. I could’ve gone with their cover of Pale Blue Eyes; but that song is too precious for me to even touch on. Their version of it gets at your heart, well and truly gets at you. Superstition shows The Kills at their rawest and most brutal. Jamie absolutley slays the guitar here, and Alison’s voice..well, what can one say. They both have a chemistry that sucks you in, and once you’ve been captivated by it-nothing else seems relevant. You’ll base all relationships and friendships on their connection. If you don’t feel how they do about each other towards a person; then it isn’t meant to be. The Kills are rage, passion, angst, fury, frustration and raw. All brutal things done in such a beautiful way. They’re more than just a band to me, they’re life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UjWVVOeehI

Scott McKenzie-San Francisco. For sentimental value, I’ve chosen to put this song here. It’s a pretty short song I guess, and the whole song just makes me close my eyes- thinking I’m wandering around San Francisco, taking everything in. Are the people still gentle there? Do they have flowers in their hair? Let’s hope they do. This song reminds me of my childhood, it just makes me happy. It makes me want to live in San Francisco. Then again, it doesn’t take much for me to want to leave where I currently live! This song makes me think of summer, even if it is like hurricane season outside. I know I could’ve picked other songs instead of this one. But, a song doesn’t have to have a grand build up in order for it to give you a sense of euphoria. That comes from within, what you take from the song is a bonus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ_WG3d3GL8&feature=related

Morrissey-Speedway. My final choice is of course, Morrissey. Is this my favourite Moz song? Oh of course. It just defines my life and how certain people are. You know, the ones who are petty towards you and what you do- but they’re just projecting. It’s best to ignore such fuckbags isn’t it. Oh, and ignore I do. The lyrics are so beautiful. What I’ve always loved about Moz is that he has NEVER had to use grand words in order to make you connect with him. He doesn’t have to polish his words in order for you to relate to him. When he sings the word “Forever” at around 2.48, the song pauses, then a few seconds kater kicks back in. The build up is incredible. You will only appreciate this if Moz is your saviour. Seeing this live last year just completed me. It came at a time when it was much needed. You know the deal. Shit happens, people act like wankers, you don’t know what to do- you then find yourself in a song. This song has always played an important role in my life, but moreso last year. However, that is in the past. This is just Moz at his finest, I adore the line, “In my own strange way, I’ve always been true to you.” I guess we all know of a few who we can attach that lyric to. But, they don’t deserve to have such a song related to them now do they.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38x5GYAS6xY

“Outside of society, they’re waiting for me. Outside of society, that’s where I want to be.”

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Writing this is as awful as telling someone you “like” them. You know that nauseating feeling that kicks in when you are about to spill your heart, and words just fall out. Words that make no sense, words that go over the other person’s head; and you have no idea what’s going on. This is what this is like, except there is no bad outcome from this. Thing is, I feel whatever I write will not justify just how amazing Patti Smith is. I could write this as a look at her inspiring career or as a review of a specific album. But, as it’s her 65th birthday today- I feel some kind of open letter is the only way. So, that is what this is going to be. An open letter to my idol, my role model- Patti Smith. I’m not going to apologise for anything I say- no matter how honest I am. Never apologise for being honest. One of the many things Patti taught me.

I’m fully aware she will never ever see this, but sometimes- you’ve just got to let it out.

Dearest Patti,

Aside from my mum you are the only person I have ever admired to the point where, when I grow up- I want to be just like. I’m only 25 years old, and I have a lot of growing to do as a person. I don’t think we ever stop growing as people-emotionally and mentally. I first heard your music when I was, well, before I was 13- I know that. I’m pretty sure I saw something on a music channel, but as I was so young I just carried on as normal. I revisited your work when I was around 16/17. That horrific age where you know nothing but think you do. I knew nothing; I probably still don’t. My teenage years were years I am grateful I never have to go through again. You were, like Morrissey, my comfort blanket. You see, I’ve never really fit in with anything or anyone. I’ve never had a place in any social group. I just carry on and do whatever. I’ve never had many friends; I’ve always had books and records as my own. It gives you more inner peace and a sense of self more than a person could. I’d always lose myself in a book or a piece of music. When I heard Horses, and you chanting “Go Rimbaud go!” Something just clicked. I cannot describe what it is, I really can’t. All I know is that, you made an emotionally exhausted teenager feel something other than self hate.

Your words are poetry, and your songs are a glimpse of Heaven that no other could ever touch on. Everyone goes on about how a person taught them to love and what love is. I used to think I was one of them; I was wrong. I discovered what love was when I heard Frederick. All I hear in that song is the meaning of true love. What it is to really devote yourself to a person. What it really is to admire another person in a way that is so unconditional, peaceful and unselfish. It is such a pure love song; it makes you want to find your very own Frederick. If more people felt that way about others, then maybe we’d live in a peaceful universe. But we don’t. I firmly believe it is important to find inner peace before you try to solve the world.

Speaking of inner peace, I’ve never been one for feeling okay with who I am. I’ve never been one for not accepting myself. I’ve never seeked approval from other’s. I seemed to constantly fight with myself over many years over who I was, and what I was. You know how it is. Kid realises they are gay, kid starts to hate themself because society frowns upon it. I could’ve stayed in that dark place so easily. So fucking easily. But, I played your music. I played your music and connected. I realised that my sexuality doesn’t define me. Nothing defines a person. When you seek to define yourself, you lose sight of who you are. Your music was my light at the end of a tunnel that I thought had no light. You were my light, my absolute crutch. Did you ever think your music would have this much impact?

It took me just one day to read all of Just Kids; I can safely say that it changed everything for me. Much like Albert Camus did. You know what Arthur Rimbaud is to you? Well Patti, that’s exactly what you are to me. I read your lyrics, I read your interviews, I listen to your songs- all with the utmost attention. It all makes me feel something that I really cannot put into words. Your art, because that is what it is, your art just makes me glad to be alive. A lot of people list teachers from school as their greatest teacher. The ones that make them want to learn and to find their calling. For me, it was you. It was you who got me into all the great writers and musicians.

Your intelligence and passion is a rare qaulity that so many people seem to now lack. There will never ever be another person like you, especially in the music industry. You were such an incredible force that was hugely needed. But you know what? You still are needed, you always will be. You were (and will always be) the Godmother of the genre that stole my heart and owns my heart-Punk. Punk wasn’t just a genre of music, it was a way of life- it was a being. A movement that shook up music in a way that nothing else has ever done. And probably will never do.

I know, I know that these words will never reach you- and I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way about your music, and the way you have changed lives. You’ve done more than change my life- you made me find this strength and peace I never thought I had. I studied your lyrics more intensley during my last year of University a few years ago, I learnt so much- and your work just makes me want to be a better writer. I always want to be better; but I never seem to get there. I guess, having this mindset just makes me work harder and practice constantly. I always have something I can write with in my pocket.

Patti, this is only small fragment of what your music has done for me. I found your music when I felt so fucking lost; you saved this lost soul. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart and with all my soul- thank you.

Olivia x

 

Freedom in the form of a Mixtape.

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Remember remember the 5th November, as it is one week before my birthday!

We are informed at this time of year to have Bonfires and set off fireworks because of Guy Fawkes. We are told he’s a bad fellow. Truth be told, he wasn’t. He like most of us, wanted freedom. James I was the King at the time of Guy’s plot to blow up Parliament in 1605. All Guy wanted was freedom. I could go on and on about this but I’ll just offend some uneducated fool so basically I’m going to give you some songs that are about freedom. If you’re not free inside, can you be free on the outside; and vice versa? I obviously don’t condone people blowing shit up or any form of violence- but I fully understand the fury and rage someone feels when they want to be heard. Yet no one listens. Anyway, have some songs.

Covers.

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I hate covers, but every so often I hear a cover and my hate fades away. Hate is a bit harsh isn’t it. I don’t hate many things. But I really don’t understand why you’d want to take another song and possibly ruin it. However, sometimes a cover is better than the original. In short, I have mixed feelings about cover versions. I get a bit upset when a song I love is covered and just destroyed. There’s no need for it. But, there are some covers that I have grown fond of. I am partial to making an exception sometimes. I’ve attempted to pick 5 covers that I adore a hell of a lot. I will probably want to change my mind as soon as I’ve posted this.

Lykke Li has easily put out one of the best albums this year, and I’d say it’s been highly underrated. Her voice always breaks your heart. However, when she goes acoustic you really really feel her words. They hit you right in the gut. Many have covered Unchained Melody, but none have captured the pain within as much as Lykke Li does. A cover should mean the artist puts their own personal touch on it, she really does. When she holds the note around 2 minutes in, it just covers your body in goose bumps and you tremble. It’s such a gorgeous cover but at the same time, causes you to ache.

Apart from The Smiths, The Walker Brothers are my favourite band of all time. With one listen of this cover, it’s pretty much easy to see why. Scott Walker is like a god to me. His music is pretty much everything to me. A stunning singer who should be regarded as the greats. Let’s be honest, he’s probably the greatest. The Walker Brothers are one of the many that have covered this song originally by Jerry Butler (written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David.) The Walker Brothers add huge drums to this giving it a Wall Of Sound feel to this cover. Of all the break-up songs in the world, this is probably my favourite. It’s just a beautiful that, although it may pain you to listen to it- it comforts you too.

Cat Power is a strong vocalist. Her music always moves my soul, it goes beyond the heart. Her music has got me through some times I hope I never ever have to go near again. Her music is a lifeline. Seeing her live was one of the best gigs that I have ever been to. I’d waited years to see her, and I was right at the front. It was just perfect. Cat Power has covered a lot of songs in her career. She’s even released a covers record. I could’ve picked the obvious such as Sea Of Love or I Found A Reason, but I had to go with one of her Bob Dylan covers. I fully understand Cat Power’s love for Bob Dylan, I feel exactly the same. I hate it when Bob Dylan’ssongs are covered, I firmly believe the only person who should sing a Bob Dylan song is Bob Dylan- that was until I heard Cat Power’s version of Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again. My mind was blown, my heart beat double time. I fell in love with her music and Bob Dylan all over again. It’s a truly wonderful cover, quite possibly her best cover she has done.

I love Wicked Game. I used to be obsessed with this song when Iwas younger, I had a bit of a fascination with Chris Isaak, I loved his music. What I love about this song is that it just oozes the need to fight how you feel. As someone who does that more times than they should (I’m starting to get a bit better) this song is just perfect. I’ve always loved the line, “This world is only going to break your heart.” It just sums up the whole feel of the song. Don’t bother, you’re just going to get your heart broken. However, getting your heart broken will always happen. There’s no point trying to avoid it. Shit happens, you’ll be fine-carry on. I love the way she sings, “I never dreamed that I’d meet someone like you.” We’ve all felt that way. You meet someone you thought you’d never in a million years meet. I don’t wish to make my take on this any more personal than I have, so I will now move onto my final cover…..

I love The Kills as much as I love the Velvet Underground which is probably close to an obsession. I don’t call it that, I just call it a passion for excellent music. Pale Blue Eyes is my favourite Velvet Underground song (closely followed by Run,Run,Run.) The Kills are influenced by Velvet Underground, and have covered a few other songs by them; but this is my ultimate favourite. It’s my favourite cover EVER. I love Jamie’s guitar on this, it’s just so emotional and powerful. Then you have Alison’s voice. Her voice ALWAYS sends me off some place else. Don’t ever try to have a conversation with me if The Kills are playing near us- my attention will be elsewhere. And I’ll probably start singing and be in some kind of trance for about an hour. Pale Blue Eyes has some of the most wonderful lyrics ever. The opening verse is so haunting, “Sometimes I feel so happy. Sometimes I feel so sad….baby you just make me mad.” We’ve all got someone we care about, but they just make us mad. You can’t say why, but they just do. I love this song so much, and there was a time when this song was too much to listen to due to it being so bloody apt. But, that’s been and gone now; and I can safely say this is my favourite cover of all time and I can listen to it being, and just be in awe of Alison and Jamie’s talent. I did want to choose their cover of I Put A Spell On You by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins but I’d just rant forever.

I know I’ve missed out some brilliant covers, and as I’m a decent person (depends who you ask I suppose!) I’ll link you to some others:

Siouxsie & The Banshees- This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us.

Warpaint-Ashes To Ashes.

Patti Smith- When Doves Cry.

The Horrors- The Best Thing I Never Had.

Foals-Everybody Wants To Rule The World.

 

Punk And Poetry.

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A couple of years ago, I was in my last year of university. Struggling to think about what to do my final project on. I was heartbroken and I was consolling myself by getting drunk and watching The Wire. I went to the occasional gig to attempt to pick myself up again. So, I had some kind of brainwave one night as I was listening to Morrissey. I decided to do my project on lyrics. One article in particular was on Punk and Poetry. The link between the two has always owned my heart. Punk music and poetry are two of my greatest loves and throwing myself into an article where I got to express my love, and just listen to music in such great detail meant a lot to me. We had to send the articles off to get published, and as ever- I was rejected. So, I might aswell put the article here :

When you think of Punk, what is your first thought? That all Punks were not educated and spat in the streets? That all Punks beat up folks and started riots just for the hell of it?

If it is, then I wish to enlighten you. Punk music was one of the most influential genres of music. The passion, the angst, the love, the despair- everything about it seemed so raw and beautiful.

One of the biggest influences of artists such as Iggy Pop, Patti Smith and Richard Hell was the French 19th Century poet, Arthur Rimbaud. After reading a lot of his work, it is plain to see as to why he was such an influence.

His words had love, hate, disgust and despair. As I am quite crap at reading French, I managed to stumble across some (accurate) translations of Rimbaud’s work. This is poetry that should be studied in schools. This is poetry that comes straight from the heart. Reading his work, it’s plain to see as to why he is such an influence on the mentioned artists.

Take, Night In Hell for instance, “I have just swallowed a terrific mouthful of poison. –Blessed, blessed, blessed the advice I was given!” It probably reads better in French, but how great is that? A Season In Hell is probably Rimbaud’s best work, it is so good

Richard Meyers became Richard Hell. However, the influence did not just end there, oh no! His band mate (and front man) from Television, Thomas Miller became Tom Verlaine, after Paul Verlaine whom Rimbaud had an affair with.

Labelled as the “Godmother Of Punk,” Patti Smith has mentioned Rimbaud numerous of times in both songs and poems. Land is one of her greatest songs. The way it is free flowing is just magnificent, it is a truly remarkable song- and poem. Throughout the song, you can hear “Go Rimbaud, go Rimbaud.” Reading through Patti Smith’s song lyrics, it is easy to see why and how she loves Rimbaud’s work.

Without Rimbaud, would there Patti Smith? Who knows, regardless of who has influenced her- she is still a motivation force to many female singer/songwriters today, and not just songwriters, poets too.

Godmother, or Goddess of Punk- whatever you wish to call Patti Smith, you cannot deny just how relevant she will always be. Her words, whether in song or poem, hypnotise you and send you to another world.

Although Because The Night was originally by Bruce Springstein, he couldn’t find a place for it on his album. Luckily Patti Smith took it and made it not only one of the best love songs ever, but it reads as a beautiful poem.

Imagine someone being so in love with you, that they recited this song to you. Astounding.

She has influenced a vast amount of people from Shirley Manson to Morrissey, who is known to occasionally cover Redondo Beach at some of his concerts.

If Patti is the Godmother of Punk, then who is the Godfather? Lou Reed or Iggy Pop? Everyone has their own opinion on it, maybe there’s no right or wrong answer. Both are equally as influential as each other.

Lou Reed’s Heroin is punk at its poetical best. Not moved by it as a song? Then read it, you will see just how heartbreaking it is but at the same time, it is a fine piece of poetry. Picking out a standout line from Heroin is hard, every line moves into another perfectly, so to just pick one is probably going to cause me another headache! I think, “I have made the big decision, I’m gonna try to nullify my life” may just sum up the whole song. It’s so sad, especially that line.

Some may say Lou Reed’s music is an acquired taste, if that’s the case then I urge anyone who dislikes his songs to just read the lyrics. Read the lyrics and you will see that this man is a poet, and not many can compete with his writing ability- especially nowadays.

Say what you want about Iggy Pop (would you buy car insurance from him?!) but the guy is timeless.

The Stooges were THE best punk band, and the opening riff to I Wanna Be Your Dog will always be the best intro to a song ever! God Bless you Ron Asheton.

Iggy Pop may not have created poetry in the same sense as Patti Smith or Lou Reed, but the guy has given us a lot of one-liners that just take you by surprise, like “Did HE just say that?!” His on stage (and off) antics may have caused some to immediately dislike him, but Iggy is charming. You can tell just by reading his lyrics. I will declare my love for I Wanna Be Your Dog for the rest of my life, so I won’t bore you right now with it. The Passenger as a song is Iggy at his best, read it lyrically and you’ll see just how good a song writer he is, a flawless piece of music and words.

I’m Sick Of You is the perfect “leave me alone, I can’t stand you” kind of song. For the angst side of punk, Iggy And The Stooges blessed us with a number of songs releasing their frustrations and disappointment with every day life. In a few weeks Iggy will be putting out a new album which is like nothing he has done before- it’s self described as “quieter album with some jazz overtones.”

There will never be another genre of music quite like punk, just like there will never another Patti, Lou or Iggy- and that’s just fine. They’re all in their 60s now and still going, something tells me they will still be an influence to so many regardless of what they do, and the type of music the ones they influence do.

Punk may be dead, but it’s still relevant.

The Importance Of Patti Smith.

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Writing about Patti Smith is quite pointless of me really. Why? Well, no words are going to be good enough to describe how vital she is to music. No words are going to do her justice at all. She is just the ideal performer to look up to. Her words have taken over hearts and found lost souls. Her music means the world to so many of us.

There are no words that could possibly express all of this. However, I’m going to give it a go.

The amount of nights I have fallen asleep listening to her music or just gone for walks listening to her music. There is something so deeply empowering about Patti Smith. Her lyrics feel like a protest within you and you just have to get all of these feelings out, somehow. Someway. She starts this fire within you, and I’m pretty sure if you are one of the lucky ones to have been around when she first came out- you’ve still got that fire burning inside of you. I know if it was me, I would. But sadly, I was born in 1986.

She is not just a singer or a poet or whatever you want to call her. She’s everything, she’s an artist. A true artist. She is the Godmother of Punk- the most vital music genre of all time. The most powerful and rawest kinds of music ever created. The sheer angst and honesty in this genre mixed with love, passion and daily frustrations is something that anyone can relate to. Now, whether or not they allow themselves to be exposed to this is a different matter.

Patti is someone I personally I regard as the most important female in music. You see, a person’s gender is not important but sexism has and always will be around in music- and daily life sadly. However, Patti is this strong figure that I feel more and more females should look up to and admire. She never had to expose herself to be heard. She never had to sleep with the CEO of a record label to make it. All she did was do something she loved with no compromises. All she did was work hard and never gave up. She never took the easy way out. She stuck at it and in the process become so important to so many. This something that should be praised not ignored.

When I think of Patti I think of someone I hope I can sort of be like. I don’t mean being the founder of a music genre or famous- but strong. I’m fully aware that this contradicts my article on looking up to famous people but let me explain.

Patti is a figure that I feel anyone can relate to- so to see someone like her still going after all these years- that is something to be admired. Her strength, her words, her art- it’s a lifeline for most. Myself included.

Her music is a crutch. Her music opens you up into a world that you could possibly be forbidden to visit. The world she has created with her art is something many have tried to do, but not quite got there.

You sit back and listen to her music and you just go some place. It’s astounding.

I remember watching Dream Of Life and just being in awe of her. Her presence affects others in this angelic way. It is almost as if she is super-human. Maybe she is. She has influenced so many from Shirley Manson to Morrissey to Michael Stipe- all three remarkable musicians who are equally as important to the music industry as Patti is.

There will always be another *insert generic pop singer’s name* but there will never ever be another Patti Smith. Who else could possibly do what she has done again? Nobody. See, she’s that special and that well respected that folks know it just cannot be done. It’d be rude to even attempt to do so.

One aspect of Patti that I adore the most is her poetry. For my dissertation at University (2009) I wrote and article on Punk and Poetry. A lot of Patti was mentioned; a lot of Arthur Rimbaud was mentioned. The way she writes is so eloquent, so pure, and so true.  I adore her book, Auguries Of Innocence. The words she uses and how she uses them is utterly enthralling. You feel as if you are in a different era when reading her work in the book. It is just glorious.

Her poetry should be studied in schools, colleges, universities. Her words are like a spiritual guidance at times- not only with her poetry, but her songs.

The songs she has covered from Gloria to W hen Doves Cry, the way she sings them- she makes them her own. That is what makes a cover acceptable and genuine. That is what makes a cover work. Her cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit, for me- is out of this world. I was never a fan of Nirvana, but her cover is so passionate. Kurt sang it with frustration, Patti sings it with passion. You believe in all the words that fall so freely and gracefully out of her mouth because of all the heart and soul within them.

So many musicians have over and over again proven to be hypocrites who do not believe in the words they give us.

This isn’t the case with Patti. If religion is something that you believe in to have your soul saved- then Punk did that for me. There’s no doubt about it. It is the only genre that has truly grabbed my heart and kept it. I couldn’t imagine feeling this way about another genre. Yes I adore all kinds of music and singers- but Punk is the one that just makes my heart skip a beat, like a lover is supposed to.

Fall in love or lose myself in Punk? Give me the latter.

Thank you Patti for being an inspiration. Thank you Patti for Punk and poetry. Thank you Patti for your words and music.

Is Anyone Worthy Of Looking Up To?

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If there’s one thing that irks me mire than anything- its people overlooking those who deserve respect and admiration. It annoys me when artists that are ever so bland and recycled are held up so high- that we are forced to idolise them. At aged 24 fast approaching 25, I can see right through these people those younger than me are forced to look up to. Even when I was in my teens, I always looked up those nobody really cared for. I suppose I felt some kind of connection. You know, being the odd one out etc.

So, Gaga frequently says she is FOR THE GAYS. Gay men, but not lesbians it seems. She declares she is for the freaks. Am I missing the point, or is she claiming us gays to be freaks? Call me a freak all you want, but I’m not the one going on about a disco-stick or wearing a meat dress. My mum used to play a lot of kd lang around the house. Constant Craving was one of my favourite songs when I was younger- it still is. Her voice is so powerful but at the same time, extremely delicate. She doesn’t use her sexuality to sell records. She doesn’t bang on and on about being a lesbian to sell records. She doesn’t go on about doing it for the gays. She does her job- she sings, she performs, and she entertains.

Obviously I understand that when you are launched into the public eye you are given this unwanted responsibility to be a role model. One person who I feel should be looked upon more than anyone else is- a family member. The one you are closest to. That’s the first person you should look up to. For me, I’d take looking up to my mum more than anyone else in the world. She raised me on her own, she is constantly there for me, her wise words make me feel less useless and her humour gets me through the day. The bond I have with her is one I know I could never ever live without. She’s not just my mum- she’s my rock and best friend. She’s pretty much everything to me.

There are so many people I admire in music and in literature- they have created work that just blows my mind and makes me wish I could create something so powerful and inspiring. I hope one day I write something that will make someone feel how Morrissey and Patti Smith make me feel with their words. However, I’m not a genius so this is just another empty aspiration of mine.

So, what kind of person should we look up to? Should it be someone who sells millions of records? Should it be someone who promotes hair products? Someone who mimes on stage? Someone who sings about being the only girl in the world? Someone who creates a false reality for others to foolishly attempt to follow in? Personally, none of these reasons are as to why I would look up to someone. I admire those who have struggled on the way to the top. Someone who doesn’t sell out. Someone who stays true to them and doesn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. Someone that isn’t a gimmick. This is why I look up to those such as Morrissey, Patti, Lester Bangs, The Kills, Hunter S Thompson- I could list others, but these are the main ones. Those who have been around long enough (or were) to create something memorable. Their art is something I hold very dear to me.

Morrissey’s words, the way Lester put all his passion into a review, the way The Kills play- it’s just all so inspiring. Words are a huge thing for me with music. I love lyrics. Words are the most beautiful thing in the world. The way things are said and sung can instantly change how you think and feel. See, I cannot feel any connection at all with Gaga’s lyrics to Born This Way at all. I feel nothing towards her music. Give me a song by The Kills, and I will feel something I cannot put into words. For instance, when I hear Alison sing on The Last Goodbye, “Can’t quite see the end. How can I rely on my heart if I break it, with my own two hands.” It just rips me apart inside but at the same time this wave of comfort takes over because it feels like someone understands. Never rely on your heart, it’ll crush you.

Then I listen to Warpaint and I feel like I am being thrown into some kind of magical whirlwind. Music is the best way to escape. Warpaint’s music has done this to me for the past 2 and a bit years. Their sound catapults me elsewhere. Everything I want a piece of music to make me feel- theirs does. As for Morrissey? What can I say. That man is a life saver. He gives one hope in a hopeless world. I’m not the only one who feels this way about him. His fans are so passionate and loyal. I think if you like Morrissey- that’s it for life. You love him no matter what. He’s not really someone you can enjoy just the odd song of. You love him with all you have, and even then it doesn’t feel enough. His live shows reignite your soul and give you something to hold onto. The times I have seen him, as soon as he walks on stage the tears just fall. No other artist has ever done this, or will do it. Why? Well, the just don’t mean as much as he does.

I pretty much grew up on Morrissey and Bob Dylan (told you I’ve got the best mum in the world) and I think that’s what instilled my love for words and how they are presented in various forms. I am not saying looking up to someone like Rihanna is wrong. Well, I personally wouldn’t because I don’t feel any connection to her music nor do I think she’s done something worth looking up to. Neither do I think Gaga is worthy- but sadly, millions do. If I have to look up to someone, I want it to be someone who has been around long enough to leave a mark.

Patti Smith. Where does one begin when talking about this beautiful human being? She is the Godmother of Punk. Punk for me is one of the most important genres ever. The rawness and sheer honesty in this genre is ever so vital. Most say you had to be there to appreciate it- maybe that’s the case. But I understand the frustration and rage these people felt- because I feel it most days. There is something better, and you can’t get out because nobody will give you a break. I’ve got a degree and over 4 and a half years worth of experience with freelancing. Does anyone want to know? Do they bollocks. Do they want to pay me to write for them? Not at all. But I love writing and music too much to give it up. That is why I love Patti Smith and The Kills amongst others. They’ve come from nothing and they have created something so beautiful. They have created art that just leaves you wondering, covered in goose bumps, in awe of what they have done. That is something worth looking up to.

I’m not one for using my sexuality at all as a way to define who I am. I personally feel me being a lesbian to be something that doesn’t define who I am at all. It’s not important to me. However, I feel that there is a distinctive lack of lesbian representation within music (and other art forms.) When a lesbian is played in a TV role- she always seems to be quite butch and/or emotionally damaged. Trust me; we are not all like that. Do the media care for this? It seems like it doesn’t. A lot are portrayed as woman who cannot commit. It does nothing for the lesbian community. Then you have the music side. Elton John and George Michael- two highly successful gay artists. Who do lesbians have? Kd lang isn’t as “commercially” known as those two. Holly Miranda isn’t as big as she deserves to be (her voice is gorgeous, give her a listen.) The Organ was one of the best bands ever- they split up a few years ago, but their album Grab That Gun is amazing. Obviously a musician- or anyone should not be defined by their sexuality.

But sometimes the community want a voice. A voice that can be trusted. Gaga isn’t a lesbian- so how could she possibly know what it’s like to be a lesbian? If anything, she seems to be like some kind of massive “fag hag.” A phrase that I detest so much. I find it highly offensive and I have no idea why someone would want to call themselves that. Yes, I understand why people admire her- but let’s be honest, she’s not doing anything that hasn’t been done before. Before her- we had Madonna, and before Madonna- the beautiful Grace Jones. Nothing is different anymore. If you want to look up to someone- look up to those who have done it before, and before them. Everything seems to be a carbon copy.

Being an individual isn’t about throwing glitter on your face and yelling you are a free bitch. Being an individual isn’t about embracing who you are- that should be automatic. Someone shouldn’t have to tell you to accept yourself. It’s your skin and your bones- you are the one who has to accept it without being told.

Look up to whoever you want- but make sure in 20 years time, it is someone you’re not ashamed of doing so.