Tag Archives: Jillian Banks

BANKS: O2 Ritz, Manchester. 1st November 2019.

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Last night was only my third time seeing BANKS, but to see her perform the songs from her new record III was a completely different experience from the past two shows.

Her voice is stronger than ever, her confidence has grown, and she is easily one of the best performers you’ll ever see. I can safely say this morning that my voice is a bit fucked. I sang my little heart out last night, something which I rarely do. I guess I felt I needed to get everything out. Her music is soothing, it is healing and just makes everything alright. She’s is nothing short of phenomenal.

 She opens her set with Til Now, which is a powerful anthem. It’s a solid ‘fuck you’ and BANKS does this so well. On stage all she needs is Derek, Ben, Nadine and Allison. Nadine and Alison, along with BANKS move in ways that make you feel like you are at something that is more than just a concert. There is something so ethereal and magical about watching the three of them move together. Of course, I lose my mind when Stroke starts. I told my girlfriend we should have brought red bandanas or something to recreate the moves but luckily, we improvised (nearly smacking each other!) During the set I was stood near a guy who was absolutely having the time of his life; moving in ways we all should at shows and screaming every word back at Jillian. That’s how you do it. I think I spent more time watching him! Something I love seeing at BANKS’ shows is just how passionate her fans are. Everyone just screams the words back, as if we have been waiting our whole lives to just get this all out. She is a phenomenal writer, and like I mentioned above her vocals have become even stronger.

 

 

There are so many perfect moments during the show, but for me it came from the most tender and vulnerable part- when she recited her poem, Ode To The Grey Zone, that’s when it all fell into place for me. I was one of them who filmed the whole thing- I just had to. It is such a gorgeous and vulnerable piece of art, and it is something that is so comforting. I needed it. There are so many highlights from her new record that came to life last night. One of the most important ones was If We Were Made Of Water. Did I expect to hear it? Hell no. I lost my mind. It is such a strong song, and on record her vocals on this are insane but when you witness it live, you take on a different meaning. That’s what I love about Jillian- when you see her perform these songs after religiously playing them at home, they really do take on a different meaning. They become a bigger part of you, and that’s the part you cling to. Always.

 Seeing everyone lose their mind to Gimme was brilliant. I think this, and Underdog are the ones that caused me and my girlfriend to absolutely ruin our voice and wake up with sore throats this morning. Completely worth it. Drowning and Waiting Game were as always, a joy to witness. I love that she’s switched up the set, and even though I wanted to see This Is What It Feels Like again- seeing If We Were Made Of Water just completed it all for me. Poltergeist was ridiculous. I love the choreography to this. I think for me, the best part of the show choreography wise was Contaminated. It is such a heartbreaking song, but when you see it performed it takes on a new life almost. The way it is performed is so heartbreaking, and you feel slightly voyeuristic watching it- seeing something so fragile. But even in BANKS’ tender moments, there is so much strength and I love that about her so much. Alaska caused everyone to lose their mind as did Underdog. The whole set was a delight, and I’m just so excited to watch her keep evolving as a performer and writer. She truly is a Goddess. Also, the songs playing before she came on stage made me love her even more. My girlfriend, who is a huge Lil’ Kim fan left her place in the drinks queue to run up to me and recite the lyrics. I fucking love her. Before BANKS came on stage Where My Girls At by 702 was playing- pretty sure I was treating everyone to a nice rendition of that. She played so much Missy too, which is a given!

As someone who has been a fan right from the start, seeing Jillian grow and become the performer she is now is truly beautiful. The chapter of III is her showing us how she has grown and blossomed into this confident performer. I’ve always loved how you can see how much she loves playing shows on her face. When she performs Beggin’ For Thread, and hands the mic to the crowd this beautiful smile takes her over and the dimples shows us just how much it means to her. Maybe because she sees how much it means to us too. Seeing Godless and Propaganda live were out of this world too. Definitely a highlight for sure.

With just three records she has become this vital part of music, and so many people’s lives. I loved seeing so many people from our LGBTQ+  community in the crowd. It felt like home, it felt like a safe space and given the state of the world right now- this is what we need. Her music is a safety net, her shows make you feel like you finally belong and being who you are is enough. The world puts us down enough, we don’t need to do it to ourselves.

 

 

Last night was the first night of the UK/EU III tour; so, if you are lucky enough to be going, you are in for a real treat. If you’ve never seen BANKS live before, prepare to have your mind blown. If you’ve seen her before, you’ll truly see how she has grown, and you’ll just be so proud of her.

BANKS: O2 Institute Birmingham 22nd October 2017

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Although the gig was about 5 days ago, I have every moment from it stored carefully in my mind. There is something about BANKS that just makes her standout. There is something about her that I’ve not seen in anyone else. That I’ll never see in anyone else. It’s a form of healing but it is also a work of art that cannot be ignored.

I toyed with reviewing the show because I really cannot say anything else about her shows that I hadn’t covered earlier this year. However, it is fairly obvious that with each show she just gets better. Her band and dancers get better each time. Her fans are the best also. If you are ever seeking a dedicated fan base, then just speak to her fans. I’ve loved her since 2014, and I remember that feeling I got. I felt like someone just got me. Someone could pull out everything I was feeling and thinking, and expressing it in a way that I knew I couldn’t. Like I said, healing. The front row of her shows consist of fans who are so passionate and an absolute credit to her. They also make you proud to be a fans of hers. I could easily write an essay about them. If I was in a band, I’d be honoured to have such a solid fan base. They sing every word back to her with such urgency and again, passion in their voice. No one cares if you can sing or not- it doesn’t matter. No song towers over the other with how loud they are. Every single song is sung as if their lives depend on it- and these songs have probably saved their live, and provided a safety net. I’m just speaking for myself, but I reckon it’s a pretty accurate assumption. Fuck With Myself and Gemini Feed are stunning, and the way the crowd yell “There is no fixing to the problem when you’re talking to, an idiot!” during Trainwreck is a brilliant moment too. You can sense how much it means to everyone.

Her set list for her Birmingham show hasn’t really changed from when I saw her a few months ago. A couple of songs were missed a lot (Weaker Girl and 27 Hours) but it#s alright! Her Manchester and London shows did get 27 Hours but they also FINALLY got a live performance of her cover of Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. BANKS fans know how much she loves her and we’ve waited so long for a full version of this song. I didn’t get to see it, but the live clips I’ve seen have been amazing. It shows her voice in a different way and it shows also, how powerful she is.

What I absolutely love about her shows is that it feels like a pure body of art. It is a masterpiece that has so much thought, love and care put into it. The dance routines she has to certain songs make you see and feel the songs differently. The choreography to opener Poltergeist is one of the best things I have EVER seen. The way they move their bodies in a way that looks like they are possessed is so hypnotising. You cannot help but focus on the movements rather than the song at times but like I said, it makes you take the song differently. I love the choreography to Haunt too.

A few weeks ago she put out Underdog. I was hoping she would do this, and she saved it right for the end. The choreography to this is also mind-blowing. They stalk the stage as if they’ve got the devil with them. They move in this wonderful darkness that has a hold of you and doesn’t let you go. The way they move their bodies is just astounding. Pretty sure if any of us did it we’d end up in A&E with a broken back or something! Obviously it would be worth it.

To be a little personal, I cried during Crowded Places. I was doing so well until the last minute or so of the song. I held it together until that last part of the song. I don’t know if it was because of what the song recently got me through or because of how beautiful it was to see everyone sing a long. Everyone sang as if they wrote the song, and it was just gorgeous.

I adored seeing Beggin’ For Thread and This Is What It Feels Like again. There is something about seeing these two songs live for me that just makes me feel like some kind of spiritual/out of body experience has hold of me. She hits this note during This Is What It Feels Like, and my god it just…it’s so powerful and so captivating. I could hear it on a loop for hours and hours and it would still leave me in awe. It’s another moment in her show that shows just how fantastic she truly is. It’s such an ethereal thing to watch and to hear. The crowd really belts out this song to her, especially Beggin’ For Thread. Waiting Game is also effortlessly wonderful, and the choreography to this is just perfect. Once you see BANKS, you cannot stop. You have to find way to cope with waiting to see her again. It is worth the wait. We waited long enough for someone like her to exist, so holding out for a tour seems easy enough, right?

Goddess and The Altar are two of the most captivating records I own and constantly listen to. Her music can ease the rut I get myself into, they can calm me down after a panic attack, they help when the depression wants to kick in and my medication feels like it is doing nothing for me. Her words, her music are my safety net. Her live shows feel like home. Not every band or singer can have this much of a grip on someone, but when we find them- we cling.

The confidence she has on stage is so subtle but you know it is there. Her fans have this outpouring of love for her that you sense she just feeds off, and it is such an amazing thing to see and be part of. There is such diversity in her crowds, and I think that is part of what makes her shows so special. She can connect with anyone and it is so powerful.

Her music will soothe any soul and her live shows will make you feel like you can take on the world. The comedown from her shows isn’t great. All you can think about is when you’ll see her next. But you know, worth the wait. Always.

BANKS: Albert Hall, Manchester. 10th March 2017.

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One of the best feelings you can experience is waiting years and years to see a band or singer you adore. Not only do you adore them, but they’ve undoubtedly saved your life and made it easy for you to face those days where getting out of bed seems damn near impossible. You’re not brave, but the music and words give you this strength that you never thought you could possess. You don’t know what to do with this strength, but when no one else is around at 3am when you wake yourself up from having a panic attack, the music keeps you safe. The music keeps you sane. You have a small support network but those people aren’t close by. You cling to what you can, when you can.

Since 2013 I’ve been obsessed with Banks. Her words got me through something that in some ways, I put myself through a few years before. A situation I was too immature and fucked up to handle. The songs on Goddess made me see how badly I had hurt someone I loved and adored. Fast forward a few years, and we’re together. The songs don’t hurt as much. We’ve both healed. Time can heal. Goddess is built on songs that ooze hurt and pain, but they give you strength. The Altar is a body of work that shows honesty and vulnerability in a way that again, gives strength. That’s what Banks embodies- strength and love for yourself. Her songs are a form of healing and clarity.

Her set opens with the chilling Poltergeist. Using two microphones to distort the vocals, Banks has this stage presence that hits you right away. The way she focuses on the dance routine during this song is nothing short of hypnotising. Your eyes are hooked on every mood she and her dancers make, and the songs suddenly take on a whole new meaning. Banks moves like nothing else I’ve ever seen. Her moves are so delicate and well thought out. She reminds me so much of Aaliyah with the way she carries herself and glides across the stage.

There are so many stand out moments from the show last night that made me realise that her songs are more than just words and music. To see them come to life like this was mind blowing. Every part of me just wanted to sing a long, but all I could do was gaze in awe. The person I’ve been using as a crutch for so long was right there. One of the most beautiful points of the show was her asking everyone to put their phones away, and she performed a fragile version of Better. This song performed this way just changed everything. It took the song elsewhere, and you just connected in a completely different way. Mother Earth was the song I feel broke and fixed hearts and minds. Lyrically, it is probably one of the best songs Banks has written so far. The way she is so open and so pure when she performs this song just melts your heart. I knew it would be the song to break me and make me cry, it just has this power but in the best way imaginable. You just feel when you hear it that you can possibly take anything on and that she is right there with you going through it all. She gives you so much hope with this song, and I cannot thank her enough for it.

This Is What It Feels Like is one of the songs I was massively looking forward to. It was one of the first songs I heard from her, and she dedicated it to all those who had been there from the start. The way she choreographed her hands as she sang This Is What It Feels Like is so captivating. Drowning also left me hypnotised. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the stage and it was sung with such determination and power. Beggin’ For Thread was just absolutely one of my favourite songs from the set, and it just made me so happy to see this song come to life like this. Her dancers add this eerie feeling to the whole set that just lures you in, deep into this world in the most comforting way.

A large part of the show was songs from The Altar which was easily one of the best and most underrated records of last year. Since September I’ve played it religiously. It’s been a record that has eased me out of a state after I’ve had a panic attack, and her voice just soothes my head. Trainwreck is performed with such attitude as is Gemini Feed and of course, Fuck With Myself. The way she performs these songs just gives you this belief that you’re as tough as her. Weaker Girl is again, another mind blowing performance. The way everyone shouts “I’ma need a bad motherfucker like me” is incredible. Every song is just screamed back at her, it makes you feel like you’re in an arena not an old church in the middle of Manchester. She has the crowd right where they should be, and none of us want to ever leave.

Judas and Haunt again bring out this bold and brave side. Judas especially is performed with this venom that makes you feel the hurt she’s experienced from whoever or whatever has hurt her. I know I’ve said it countless of times before about her, but when she does this you just truly connect to the music. She’s so easy to connect with and to feel, and believe in every single word. I don’t even know what I did before I had her music.

The set ends with 27 Hours followed by This Is Not About Us. Of course there are other songs I would have loved to have heard but that’s just for my own personal sentimental value. The set was nothing short of perfect, and if anything, I’d have just wanted her to stay on stage for hours. Her dancers, her band, and her stage presence- just everything felt like something that came purely from the heart and soul. Wherever she goes when she performs these songs, she takes you with her.

It didn’t end just there. Before we went to the show, I wrote a letter to give her. The letter consisted of me telling her how much her music has helped and healed. How it still does, and how it gets me through my own hell. I handed the letter to her, and as we hugged, I had to tell her something I had needed to say for so long. I told her that she had saved my life. A bold and big statement that is entirely the truth. This was more than just a concert. It did something that no other show has ever done to me. I’ll keep its meaning close to me and go to it when it all seems too much. There is so much more I could say about the show last night, but if you were there or if you’ve seen her live- then you’ll understand exactly what it is that her music and her presence does.

BANKS: The Altar.

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“And I’m chugging along in a train.
And I’m heading the wrong way, and I’m a trainwreck”

 

Since it came out, I have religiously, ritualistically and obsessively listened to The Altar by Banks every single day. I listen at work- her voice can sometimes tame my panic attacks. Not always. But after I’ve had one, her voice provides this level of security that I guess, I need. Her lyrics have always been a massive thing for me. She has this brutal honesty that is so fragile- it can break the person listening. Goddess came out in 2014, prior to that a couple of EPs. Everything she’s released has been nothing short of ahead of its time. She’s ahead of us all. There’s no one quite like her. She’s my kind of strange. The kind that delves into what others want to distant themselves from. Her words are gut wrenching, heart breaking and truthful. It is okay to have these feelings, it is okay to explore and expose how you feel. Music is a safety net. Goddess was my safety net when it came out. The Altar is exactly the same. There’s something about her that draws you in. I don’t have the words for it, but my god she’s out of this world.

I try to avoid doing track by track reviews, but some records bring it out of you. Sorry!

Gemini Feed: I’m sorry now for going on about how important the lyrics are and how with this record she takes it darker. I love the attitude she has on the chorus, “And to think you’d get me to the altar.”  She finally sees what a piece of work this asshat is and lets them know they have no chance. As if she’d want that kind of forever, that commitment with them. I love the line, “If you would have let me grow, you could have kept my love.” When someone hides you away or doesn’t let you be the person you are, they lose you and rightfully so. If they saw you for what you could be, maybe they’d still have you. Tough luck, right?!

Fuck With Myself: The song is equally as strange and as brave as the video. This shows Banks really go for it with respect to her exploring her sound. This is the sound of someone really pushing themselves but still holding onto what they are known for- their honest lyrics. She’s not going to let someone fuck her over again, she knows her worth and if you can’t see it, then you don’t deserve her.

Lovesick: One of her most pure songs of love and adoration. The way she expresses how much she loves, wants and adores this person is so beautiful. This has this beautiful and gentle feel to it like Fuck ‘Em Only We Know has. I think the line, “I knew your love before I kissed you” is one of the most unconditional declarations of desire and love I’ve ever heard. I could quite happily write an essay on this song and probably that one line, but I think the song explains itself. It’s so exposed in a way that just leaves you in awe.

Mind Games: Mind Games is brutal. It’s exceptionally harsh to the core. You can sense the hurt and betrayal in her voice. It possess a wealth of hurt that makes you flinch slightly at certain lines. The way she sings, “Do you see me now?” I think we can all relate to where we leave something, and someone else realises what they are losing (maybe) and you wonder if they ever noticed the times you tried and the times that were trying. This used to be such a hard song to listen to, but lyrically it’s one of her finest.

Trainwreck: Today she released the video to it. I really thought she couldn’t push herself further than she did with the Fuck With Myself video, but Trainwreck is on a different level. It’s easily my favourite off The Altar. I can’t count how many times I play it a day and how many times I’ve played it since September. I can’t pick out specific lines, I really can’t. It just perfectly expresses the demises of something that’s beyond repair and a person that’s beyond fucked up. The music and the lyrics fit so perfectly together. It’s a brilliantly produced record, and this song in particular shows how great the production is. This is the one I am most looking forward to seeing live in March.

This Is Not About Us: It wasn’t until recently that I paid this song the attention that it really deserves. I changed my mind on it because I read the lyrics before going back and listening to it. It picks up perfectly on relationship issues some have and that sometimes the issues aren’t you and the person, it’s something entirely differently and Banks goes into it in a way that some would rather shy away from than confront.

Weaker Girl: The way in which she sings the word “motherfucker” is one of my favourite moments on the record. This is easily one of the strongest songs on the record, obviously I love every song but this one is so tough and you know that although she exposes this vulnerable side- she’s tough too, and that side isn’t to be messed with. It’s the kind of song that’ll be nothing short of euphoric when she plays it live (I hope she does.)

Mother Earth: She released The Altar the day after I saw The Kills in Manchester. I remember listening to this song first, and the high I was on from seeing them and meeting Alison ended as soon as I listened to this. I don’t think I even played it in full. This is one of the most open songs on the record. Songs like Someone New and Under The Table from her first record are painful but beautiful. Mother Earth is exactly the same.  This song shows how strong her voice is, how brilliant a writer she is. Her voice cracks at the right parts- the parts that need emphasising. It’s such a haunting song, and at times it is tough, really tough to listen to but the words are just wonderful.

Judas: This is one of the harsher songs on the record and you can really hear the disappointment in her voice, it’s like she’s singing it through gritted teeth in some parts. The way she projects hurt and betrayal is so beautifully executed. For me it’s all in this line, “Reminiscing all the backwards ways you made me stay. Begging me for thread, I think you need to change your brain.” I love how she references to exceptional songs from Goddess, and maybe these three songs are about one person in particular. That’s how you’re left thinking.

Haunt: This is another really open song, lyrically. The words are so full of hurt and such heavy sadness but she writes about it in a way that’s reassuring. I think it’s because she freely and easily calls the person out for hurting her. She’s openly saying it would have been better if the person cheated because that kind of hurt is easier to get her head around. Instead, this person is just a shitfest and they repeatedly haunt her, as she knows waiting for them just isn’t worth it anymore.

Poltergeist: Banks manages to really portray her hurt and anger in a way that is done purely through her voice. It’s not what she says, but how she says it. She effortlessly let’s her hurt out in her songs that makes you connect in all ways possible. She does it so well on Poltergeist and it is one of her most cleverly written songs, especially in the way she calls this person out. I think with this one she’s exposing Industry type idiots. The ones who just want something and don’t know how to deal with being challenged. Banks isn’t someone to mess with, and she expresses that so elegantly on this one. I love the line, “You mistaking all my mistakes for my crooked nature.”

To The Hilt: This one is on the same level as Under The Table and Someone New. It’s got this wealth of sadness to it that just breaks you. The sense of loss in this song is overwhelming. It’s an overwhelming song. When you listen to this through headphones, you can really pick up on her voice and she makes you feel as if you’re the one that she’s lost. There’s nothing worse than losing the one person that no matter what, believes in you. Trust me. But sometimes, years have to pass before you get them back and you get them back in a better way. Personally speaking. To The Hilt is one of the best songs Banks has written so far. It’s the ones that are the toughest to listen to that are the best because she really hits you in the gut with her words, and her vocals on this are so brave and so powerful. It’s truly one of the best things she’s done so far. It slowly builds and builds, and when it gets there- she gets you. She has you gripped.

27 Hours: There are three songs on this record that I play more than others- Lovesick, Trainwreck and this one, 27 Hours. This is perfect to end the record on because it has you playing it all over again. Maybe that was her intention, but this song again is another that shows how strong her voice is and how far she’s come since her EPs and probably Goddess was just a hint of what she’s about. It shows how destructive a person is, and the other person isn’t budging and she can’t work out why; “How can you not walk away after everything I’ve done?” It feels like she’s stuck in destroying things and can’t get out of the vicious cycle of doing so and is unsure how another person can stick with her for doing so. By no means does it feel like a love song, but maybe it is. Banks isn’t conventional and her kind of love songs are dark. Very dark and they’re the best ones. They are the ones that are easier to connect with.

The Altar is a body of unfiltered confessions, declarations and a comfort blanket. Her voice has gotten stronger, her writing cuts even deeper and is braver. She’s not afraid to be so open and vulnerable. She allows us to be fragile with her on the songs; this is a powerful connection and is truly a phenomenal record.

BANKS-Goddess.

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“But I’m so tired of eating
All of my misspoken words.”

 

After waiting for what seems like an eternity or something equally dramatic, the gorgeous Banks has FINALLY released her debut record. Anyone who has heard her EPs knows just how bloody great she is, and how she manages to make you long for a full length record in just one song. Goddess is a record for those who have ripped hearts out, had their hear ripped out, those in love, in shame, in doubt and in pain. In short, it is one of the best records to come out this year.

In some songs Banks is longing for the love of the one who holds all her affections, but in others she is the one wanting to leave romance behind. She’s a storyteller, and she has this ability to really rip you apart with her honest words. Songs such as Change show the harshness of love and how manipulating it can sometimes be but opposite to this are songs like Waiting Game which echoes a desire to be loved. Personally, I feel You Should Know Where I’m Coming From to be the best song on Goddess, but I’m likely to change my mind.

Goddess isn’t a record for those who are tough; it is for those who have recently been hurt and if you can get through Someone New without crying then you are a stronger person than me (although it doesn’t take much.) There is so much that needs to be said about this record, but I really have no idea how to get the words out. It is one of those records where you just have to really REALLY listen to it. Take in every single word that Banks sings, and how she sings them. She sings these songs as if they were made for you. Her lyrics at times are sad, but not in a “woe is me” kind of way, but in a way that just stops you in your tracks and throws you back to a time where you felt that way.

One of the best things about Banks is that she is unlike anyone else, but if you’re someone is keen on comparisons, then basically Banks has an Aaliyah like quality to her voice. It is delicate and extremely powerful in the right places. She can break you and mend you with her songs, and that is what makes her not only believable but accessible too. Goddess is a mighty fine debut record, and one I’ll probably never grow tired of listening to.

Banks sings about love and relationships in a way most would shy away from. She’s not afraid to exploit the ugliness of them and the beauty of them. The good, the bad and everything in between she unleashes, and she does it in such an elegant way that makes you become addicted (there’s probably a better word) to her voice. Goddess is the kind of record you play when you stumble home at 2am and are unsure about everything around you. Banks’ voice will ease you into a peaceful slumber and you’ll wake with a clear head.

I don’t know what it is exactly I love about her music, but I’m guessing is it the sheer honesty and detail in her lyrics. Take the song, Fuck ‘Em Only We Know- the lyrics to it are full of detail and love, “I know exactly just how many kisses fit between your eyes.” That’s modern romance in all its glowing glory. And back to You Should Know…the line “If I told you solitude fits me like a glove, would you let me out?” is probably my favourite on Goddess.

In all its seductive and haunting glory, Goddess is one of the most impressive records I’ve heard in a long time. It doesn’t feel like a debut record, and I think that’s what makes it effortlessly brilliant and memorable. It is one of those records that her fans are going to cling harder onto than they did with her EPs, and why? Because the song cut into the heart and soul a little deeper. Her songs are bold, beautiful and vulnerable, and that is why Goddess doesn’t feel like someone’s first record. Some say perfection doesn’t exist but they’ve probably not heard Goddess yet.