Category Archives: Influential Women In Music.

Warpaint-Set Your Arms Down.

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“You’ve got to try.” 

When you love something or someone with everything you have, you notice different parts and features every single time you are faced with it. I guess it keeps the love and attraction going. There are different ways of being in love. When you’re in love with a band, it goes beyond that feeling of being in love with a person. A person that you may or may not be with. Then again, if the feeling isn’t reciprocated is it even real on your behalf? You don’t have to think about it. If I were you (and let’s be glad you are not me) I wouldn’t bother wasting your thoughts on it. Direct it all towards a different thing. Go read a book, go for a nap- shut off. When I feel like I just don’t want to be bothered, I just listen to music. I listen to one specific band. It doesn’t take a genius to know it is of course, Warpaint.

My love for Warpaint is one I will openly write about here. I don’t think anyone actually understands what it means to me when I get a comment or email about Warpaint and how I write about them. I’m told I manage to get out how I feel about the band in a way the person wishes they could. Thing is, Warpaint make me feel I can be totally honest and open. Since being a fan of theirs, it is like I have allowed myself to get rid of ugly feelings and replace them with something worthy of feeling. They give you this sense of openness that doesn’t make you ashamed of who you are. We all struggle at some point with who we are. You can be so together on the outside, but inside you’re a mess. Sometimes a band is all that can put you back together again. I probably wouldn’t be so laid back and calm if it wasn’t for Warpaint.

Warpaint teach you to let go. I mean really really let go. A piece of music that sounds like a battle cry for the soul, well- that’s sometimes all you need. That’s why I’m going to attempt to write about The Fool opener, Set Your Arms Down.

Setting your arms down can be seen as dropping your weapons. Giving up to your defenses and facing up to what you are, and who you are. Not to mention all you have done. I remember hearing this record and being in awe of every single build-up in every song. Even in songs like Baby,m there is a sense of intensity in that song that is overwhelming but quickly turns into one of the most vulnerable songs I have ever heard.

Set Your Arms Down is a perfect album opener. As they tell you to set your arms down, you feel it is an instruction for the listening process of the record. You must surrender to this band. You must give it up for Emily, Theresa, Jenny and Stella. They must have every single part of you as you listen to them. Thing is, Warpaint are not a band you just play in the background. They aren’t a band you tidy the house to or play for friends. They are a band you play if you want answers. They are a band you play when you want to find the part of you that has been missing for so long. They take you on a journey that you cannot ever imagine taking with anyone else. They become, with first listen, a part of you. They become a way of life.

I guess sometimes when I write about Warpaint it is like a catharsis. Like I am cleansing myself of something by listening to them and writing it down. A lot of the time, I just throw away how I feel or how certain things make me feel. Warpaint chase away all that fear. It begins on The Fool with Set Your Arms Down. The lyrics really really mean a lot to me. It is like they are telling you to give it all up and face everything. Keep trying, because it’ll be okay. It is basically like a swift kick up the arse. The intense vibe in this song is so powerful. The instrumental towards the end makes you feel as if everything you fear in life is coming towards you- and you are stood frozen. Without your defences, facing it all. The song ends, and it is totally up to you now how you deal with the outcome. Are you going to fight off all you fear? Or are you going to remain a coward?

My favourite lyric in this beautiful song has to be:

“Walk through the fire, walk ’till it gets light.  There is no hiding to  save your life.”

I just find it to be so important, and so true. You have to walk through hell in order to get to where you want to be. You can try to hide as much as you want, but you cannot escape all that bothers you, and at times consumes you. You just can’t That’s what I take from this song. I know I probably seem borderline mental with my love for Warpaint, but everyone has a band that give them a feeling of being able to do anything. Being able to face up to all they must. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that Warpaint give me courage. I don’t know how it is for any real Warpaint fan- but I know that there are some out there who feel this way. Warpaint don’t just sum up how you feel- they also make sense of it. Sometimes it isn’t in their lyrics, sometimes it is just the way their music flows through you.

I have played Set Your Arms Down on repeat so many times whilst going for walks. Walking to nowhere in particular. Sometimes you just need to get out and clear your heard. Warpaint do that. They cleanse you and clear your head in a way that no other band comes even remotely close to doing.

There’s a change on this song. Theresa does the drumming on this song, and she plays equally as strong as Stella. The guitars sound like water flowing through, whilst the bass-line feels like the part of you that is being held together. The song doesn’t lead you astray, it holds you together. Warpaint make you feel like you can do anything, even if you’re a shy and sensitive soul like myself; they kind of bring you out of your shell a bit. Although you cannot physically share what they have given you with anyone else, as it so sacred- you keep it in your heart, nobody can take that from you. Ever.

Miri. Candy Bar, London. 30th April 2012.

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Let’s be honest, nothing good ever happens on a Monday night does it? I know you can have a good/bad time any day of the week. I think I have a point to make..but I’m tired and I have no idea. So I’ll just get to the point.

You know when you hear a voice and every part of you just falls hopelessly in love with what you are hearing? It takes a hell of a lot for me to do that, mainly because I’m probably far too cautious for my own good. I’d say I allowed myself to feel like this after seeing Miri last night because I drank a lot of wine beforehand. True I did drink wine, but it played no part. I was fully aware of what I was witnessing.

Lyrics are a big thing for me. If I can’t believe in what I am listening to, I won’t enjoy it. It is always about connecting with a singer on a personal level. When you feel like, “Oh shit..they are telling my life story” that’s when you know you’ve found something truly special. It’s a bit like falling in love really. You feel a bit sick because you feel something quite intense, but at the same time-it is something that makes so much sense. You’re not entirely sure if you can wrap your head around it all.

As I said, lyrics are huge for me. Miri’s lyrics are like someone has torn your heart out and written down all that has been engraved upon it. Some of the things, you wish to forget. Some of the things, just get you through the day. Take her song Blue Skies. Keep in mind that the gig was acoustic. It was heartbreaking. I honestly felt someone had gone into my head and written down everything that was floating around. It is such a beautiful song. If you have a constant feeling of longing and wanting burning inside you- this song will be everything to you. I cannot stop listening to it.

I should probably write about the actual gig, but I’m sure I spent most of it just staring in awe attempting to take it all in. It was a truly beautiful moment. She even made a really shit song by a really shit person good (she covered Cheryl Cole, but it’s okay. She did it really well so you forgot it was a cover.)

You know when you watch a person sing, and you can tell that it means everything to them? We need more artists like that. We need more honesty and passion in music. You think you’ll find the next best thing on a reality show? Hell NO. She was playing in Candy Bar last night, and you missed out if you weren’t there. Candy Bar was the perfect place to see her. An intimate setting that really allowed her to show off just how perfect her voice truly is.

I could honestly write a thousand more words about last night but it’d just seem like some kind of mental rant and I think I need to stop doing that.

http://soundcloud.com/findmiri

Uh Huh Her. Shepard’s Bush. 24th April 2012.

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Writing this on nearly no sleep means this will not make sense. There’s a good chance that this will read as some strange emotional outburst. I’d apologise, but I’m not sorry. I’ll save them for a time where I am actually sorry.

When you have loved a band for so long, finally seeing them live gives you this feeling that, at best, you cannot describe. But at worst is the most frustrating thing in the world. That’s the thing about Music, you can have these frustrating feelings that sooner or later- will get the better of you. Going to a gig, you can just let it all out. You can justify your tears because certain songs make you feel less alone. Certain songs you feel were written for you. Certain songs give you the courage to do something that terrifies you. Sometimes, you’ve just got to face your fears. Or a band help you do so.

I first started listening to Uh Huh Her when Common Reaction came out. I was in a bad place. It was worse than bad, but you don’t need to know. Sometimes you’ve got to destroy who you were in order to become what you want to be. In the process, you let go and leave behind. The songs on this record made every change and fuck up I caused around me less daunting to face. I still can’t listen to Dreamer without wanting to cry like a baby, it’s just a really sad and longing song. Even the most emotionally stable could be reduced to tears after hearing this song. I’m totally fine now, but if I listened to it now, I’d still breakdown. Some songs are just that powerful. Their latest record, Nocturnes in my mind was probably one of the most underrated records of last year. The production on all they’ve ever done has always been something I have admired.  Then came the live show.

Waiting to see the band that have meant the world to you for such a long time is intense and a long process, yet it is beyond worth it when the time comes around to see them.

Everything about Uh Huh Her justifies why I have so much love for duos (okay so live they’re not a duo but still..) They just have a better chemistry, and the stage presence is perfect. You can see this in the likes of Beach House, The Kills..and all the other duos I constantly declare my love for. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep it together when the PA system played The Horrors followed by The Kills, standard behaviour I guess.

If you’ve seen Cam and Leisha on this tour (or live in general) you’ll know it’s pretty much an amazing experience. You treasure it so much more because they do not tour the UK/Europe all that often, I guess that’s why their fans are pretty fucking loyal. And maybe a bit mental too (the good kind.)

I have no idea where I was when I was just stood there singing along. It still doesn’t feel like it has happened, it doesn’t feel real. I’ve had this feeling before. The first time I saw Morrissey I had this exact same feeling, and I got it last month when I saw The Horrors. When a band are such a huge part of your life, the very second they walk on stage it is like every feeling you have is fully justified. When you listen to their songs on a daily basis, you do truly connect but when you see it live, you pick up on certain lines lot more. It’s a bit like, “OH SHIT…NOW I GET IT!” Wait Another Day’s meaning to me just hit a new level last night, I’m pretty sure I felt part of me break and fix at the same time. Something clicked and I’m trying to work out if it’s a good or bad thing, maybe I’ll never know. Maybe I’m not meant to. But it did something. I’ve Had Enough is on the same level too. I’m also pretty sure I See Red acoustic is one of the most stunning things I have ever witnessed.

Throughout the gig I had a few mini outbursts (good ones, I don’t mean I hit anyone. I’m not like that.) The main one occured when Cam introduced Ladyhawke to come out and play Black And Blue with them. For that moment it wasn’t like you were at a gig. It was like you were watching a group of friends have fun at band practice. It was amazing that a venue this size could produce something so intimate. With music, especially live music you can allow yourself to forget everything for a while (with the occasional reminder.) For me, last night for that hour and a bit I could forget all I had on my mind. From worrying about my mum to other stuff, I allowed myself to let go for a while. Now, I’m back to clinging onto it and worrying again. But, I’m human and sadly I cannot switch off. Uh Huh Her’s music make it okay for you to cling onto certain feelings, maybe they are the ones that keep you going. Even if they could be the ones that are eating you up a bit.

Waiting this long to see Cam, Leisha (and Josh of course!) was something that was truly worth it. And I guess with life, sometimes you just have to wait for what you want. No matter how long it takes- it’ll happen, if it is meant to. I know that this is probably the worst thing I’ve written but I’m still in the process of taking the gig in. It was just perfect, if you were there-you know it was. If you’ve seen them on this tour, again, you’ll know how perfect it was. How they are. They deserve to be fucking huge. Their DIY approach to how they make music is so inspiring and much-needed. Another thing that needs pointing out is, at the end of their shows they truly make time for their fans by selling the merch and doing signings. There’s not many bands around that do this, and it is one of the many many reasons as to why Cam and Leisha are an asset to music and the industry.

Until next time…

*(But seriously, I am sorry for how all over the place this is. Lack of sleep and stuff does this to you. Sorrysorrysorrysorry! xx I also think the gig has left me wanting a hug. I may go buy a puppy or something.)

Ladies First: Female Rappers.

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Hip Hop is a massive love of mine. They’re not rappers, they are modern-day poets. Well, some are. Not all. Read the lyrics of Tupac and you will see that it is poetry. Read the lyrics of Soulja Boy and well, maybe not yeah? Maybe not. However, the Hip Hop industry has always seemed to favour men. I don’t know why, you may not know why. Nobody may know why. Thing is, there are SO many female rappers around. Go back to the start of Hip Hop and strong female MCs have ALWAYS been there.

The first ever female rappers I remember hearing were Monie Love and Queen Latifah. They did an amazing track together, Ladies First. Not only was it incredibly produced; it was also (and still is) one of the cleverest Hip Hop tracks written. The way they bounce off each other was probably enough for any female of the early 90s hearing this song, want to rap. More importantly; make a difference.

When I heard Ladies First, I just immediately became aware of how sexist the world was and how society viewed women. I was so young, but after watching the video and hearing the song..I just kept asking my mum so many questions. She just sat me down and said the world and life, was unfair- but I didn’t have to settle for it. Ever. That I shouldn’t be told I couldn’t do something because I’m a girl. The term “Feminist” leaves the tongue of some many like a bitter taste. Like it is a bad thing to want rights for your own gender. But, I firmly believe that you don’t have to have boobies and a vagina to be a Feminist. It’s just called being a decent human being, you know? Any good person wants equality for all. Regardless of age, gender, sexuality, colour, religion, disability or no disability. With so much hate and hurt in the world- we need to come together and be kind. Be gentle and comforting. There is nothing weak about wanting to be held. There is nothing weak about having a kind heart.

A lot of female rappers seem to think, if they talk about having sex with whoever, wearing next to nothing and just selling themselves out-it’ll bring them money. Sure it will, but will it give them respect? I say this, but I really really adore Foxy Brown. She’s always been a favourite of mine. She’s struggled with a hell of a lot. Gets knocked down and ridiculed, but in my eyes- she’s one of the greats. Now, I know she wears hardly anything- but listen to her lyrics (okay maybe not Hot Spot or Candy) but she has some songs that are just mind-blowing. B.K Anthem just tells you about Brooklyn in a way that’s never been done. The Letter (which features THE legend Ron Isley) and Broken Silence are heartbreaking and honest. To put yourself out there in that way, well fuck it, I respect her. I respect anyone who metaphorically rips their heart out and spills their guts out. Admitting to their faults and just being so open- I just admire that. I don’t care who you are, if you’re honest- then that’s all that matters.

Hip Hop is one of the most honest genres of music. It’s real. You believe in every single word. Everyone faces struggle in life. Some every so often, some every single day. Some use Hip Hop as a crutch to just plough on through. To hear songs like those I mentioned by Foxy Brown are enough to make a woman who is feeling utterly low and damaged, to just pull through. She’ll feel comforted by it because another female is expressing those insecurities and has cut herself wide open for all to see and hear.

Then you have the whole, Lil’ Kim vs Foxy Brown thing. It was ugly, and it was brutal- but it made for great entertainment for those voyeuristic blood suckers. Of course it got personal, it always does. It was almost impossible for the Media to state that these two female rappers were both as good as each other. For me, I was always on Team Foxy. I couldn’t really connect to Kim for some reason. Her early stuff was too much, but gradually, I guess she became more grown and easier to listen to. But like I said, Foxy is the one.

If you want to class M.I.A as a rapper, she’s probably the best around right now. She has a message. Maybe it is too political for most, but as far as I’m concerned, Hip Hop has always pointed out all the wrong in the world in order to make it right. That’s what M.I.A does, most of the time.

I want to touch briefly on Nicki Minaj for a second.

She’s probably hated as she is loved. Some claim she’s a gimmick, some see she’s for real. The only person who knows what she is about is, well, her. Personally? I love her. I’ve been a fan since 2008 when I was listening to some of her old mixtapes I heard online. I just became obsessed with what I was hearing. Sure it was a bit vulgar and overly sexual, but her honesty well, was admirable. To have the guts to be as open and nasty as some male rappers- well fuck it, she was playing them at their game. And she was winning. Now look at her. Her second record, Roman Reloaded is free of those topics. I can’t find fault in it. And I’ll admit, I do get pissed when people slag her off. They seem to ignore her background. They seem to think she just came from nowhere and became a star overnight. Bullshit. She’s always been a star, she was just busy in the background working hard to get to this point. She’s frequently laid into because she is apparently a gimmick. Some dressing up and not going by her real name/creating alter egos has never been done before? Sure..I mean, Ziggy Stardust was real wasn’t it? It isn’t cool to be someone who gets off on being disrespectful to others. If you want to slag her off, go ahead. But it just makes you seem pretty childish. Are you on stage every night pouring your heart out? Nope. So shush your noise, and go put your hate into being frustrated at the state of the world instead. Maybe I care too much, or maybe I just don’t get why anyone would care that you hate someone you do not know? I mean, it does seem pretty stupid to hate someone you do not know doesn’t it? Maybe I’m alone in that. Maybe..maybe.

I think females have a long way to go in the Hip Hop industry, and Music in general. There’s still blatant sexism floating about. Not just in Music, but everywhere in life. It’s like, “Oh she’s a female rapper, she must be a lesbian.” Oh please do fuck off. kd lang’s a lesbian and she doesn’t rap. You don’t need to dress like a tramp to be taken seriously and to be heard. Kids aren’t inspired by that- they need something real. Something they can hold onto for life. Something that teaches.

One of the first female rappers I really admired was MC Trouble. She sadly passed away in her sleep during the production of her second record. She may not have been around for long, but she’s easily as influential as the likes of Queen Latifah, Monie Love, Roxanne Shante etc.

I cannot mention female rappers without mentioning the one who had THE most distinctive voices ever in Hip Hop, and was part of one of THE most influential female groups ever. Lisa Lopes aka Left Eye from TLC was just so perfect and pure with her words, and the way she rapped. She totally owned the mic and every stage she stood on. Her small frame didn’t stop her from being so great and highly influential. I remember when she died (10 years on Tuesday) I just broke down. It was a shock, it always is. A truly heartbreaking moment in music. Maybe the standard of female rappers slipped when she passed. I have no idea. I don’t know. All I know is that she had something that will now always be missed. She was such a strong character. She taught girls how to be strong and utterly fearless. My love for her is totally different piece altogether. Maybe one day when it stops being a sore subject, I’ll get it out.

Hip Hop will always be a huge love of mine, and a vital part of my life. I do believe female rappers have a long way to go, but we’re getting there. You don’t need to be half-naked to be sexy. You don’t need to have a vulgar tongue to be heard. Be strong, stand up and say something that hasn’t been said before.

An ode to Riot Grrrl:”She’s a rocker dressed like a killer, she’s got lips like wine not sugar.”

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As much as Punk and Shoegaze mean to me, there’s always been another movement in music that has meant the world to me. A movement that I feel, was just as vital as Punk. A movement that has the same values as Punk, and is as equally as influential.

Punk basically started in New York. That’s the heart and soul of it. Fast forward a couple of decades in Olympia, Washington. Female fronted bands developed a DIY ethic (much like Punk) and were making their own sound. Creating their own movement that moved like a hurricane. So powerful and as I said, so important. Without this movement, where would we be? Thing is though, I feel most have forgotten about this movement. That now all women must do now to sell records is strip off and sing songs that mean nothing.

I don’t want to write this as a THIS IS WHAT RIOT GRRRL WAS. If you know, then you know. If you don’t, then get to know. Go listen to Heavens To Betsy, Sleater-Kinney etc. Go listen to them. They will show you what music truly is. Play with angst. Play with passion. For gods sake play with HEART. Have something to believe in, and carry it with you. Make some noise.

For me, Riot Grrrl was something entirely sacred. I explored the world of Riot Grrrl because I was a HUGE fan of Le Tigre. I went back and explored the past projects of Kathleen Hanna, which of course, led me to Bikini Kill. That was it. I was hooked. Transfixed. I was old enough (12 years old) to understand why people were mad at society. I was angry too. As a kid, I was constantly bullied all through secondary school. So music was my outlet. Music was the thing I turned to in order to gain some kind of sanity in my life. I needed something I could use that no one could take from me. All my hell and fury was coming out of the songs by Sleater-Kinney, Bratmobile and The Butchies. I felt part of something. I had no voice to unleash all of this, so music did it for me. Punk did it and Riot Grrrl did it. As did Garbage but you already know that.

I favoured Sleater-Kinney above all. I have no idea why, I just did. I connected immediately to their songs. I fell in love Carrie Brownstein. I wanted to be as tough as her so much. Instead, I was just a lost sensitive cause who had no idea what to do. Sleater-Kinney were more than just a Riot Grrrl band. And yes, I was beyond pissed off when they broke up in 2006. I’m not mentioning it. I live in false hope that one day..one day. I know it won’t, but still. You’ve got to cling onto something. I loved Sleater-Kinney because every word of despair that was falling out of the speakers and into my ears was providing me with hope, of sorts.

The whole Riot Grrrl movement helped me come out. For years and years I struggled with it- internally. Hating yourself because of who you are is not living. Thing is, my mum isn’t even homophobic so what was I scared of? So much. In time, as I listened to more and more Riot Grrrl songs with older ears- I found the courage to do it. Mainly because I found so much comfort and security in a band that stemmed from the Riot Grrrl movement-Gossip. Their debut record, That’s Not What I Heard had songs on it that I felt “Oh holy shit…” towards. Fast forward a few years and Standing In The Way Of Control dropped. I followed the band up and down the UK. I skipped lectures at Uni to see them anywhere and everywhere I could. I met them and I felt like..I don’t know. I can’t put it into words. So in 2008, I had the guts to come out. Sure I did it by text message to my mum, but I was in a different country. She likes to mock me for how I did it. Sometimes, the most daunting thing in life is really the easiest thing to confront.

Without being exposed to Riot Grrrl I don’t know what I would’ve done. I probably would’ve remained being an empty shell that never knew what she wanted to do with her life. In my last year of Uni, I did a module called Women In Journalism and I did a presentation on Riot Grrrl and fanzines. I’ll admit I fucked it up a bit. Mainly because I decided at last-minute I hated everything I wrote so I just did my presentation off the top of my head. Besides, it was an excuse to listen to some of the bands all over again and pass it off as “research.” Maybe I’ll go back to appreciating Riot Grrrl everyday when Beyond Pink but their new record out this year. Here’s hoping.

All too often the press will deem a woman as being a “bitch” if she is as honest as the likes of Shirley Manson to Brody Dalle to Courtney Love to Kathleen Hanna to Joan Jett. They fail to acknowledge that they are STRONG musicians and have influenced so many. Their words have tended to souls and saved lives. How does that make someone a bitch?! Sure a lot of angst was flying around, but it wasn’t angst that was like “MY JEANS DON’T FIT ME.” It was angst towards society and how they were (and still are) putting women down, ignoring topics such as rape and domestic violence. The whole Riot Grrrl movement was a platform for women from Washington and beyond to stand up and say “THIS ISN’T RIGHT, AND WE WON’T STAND FOR IT NO MORE.” It may be over in a music sense, but the struggle is still there. You’re shot down if you call yourself a Feminist and you are looked at as if you have 6 heads when you speak freely on taboo subjects such as rape. FUCK.THAT. You can try to shut them up all you want, but it won’t work. Music is more powerful than you can wrap your head around. I wish the Riot Grrrl movement would occur once more. We bloody need it.

Maybe we’ll never have a movement like this again, who knows. But I’ll be forever in debt to the bands involved. Not just for the music but for their words and courage. The zines they created and the music made showed that the whole DIY ethic is something you can never and should never compromise.

Never compromise your art and all you believe in. Ever.

Patti Smith-April Fool.

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If it wasn’t for Patti, I probably wouldn’t care for words. I wouldn’t care for how people pronounced words or wrote words. Words would be meaningless to me. Because of her, I’m obsessed with words. I believe in words not actions, and I’m possibly in the minority with that. You can fake actions just as you can fake your words- but you still cling onto the fact that there may be some honesty in the words. It just depends. You can make yourself believe in anything if you want it to be true enough.

There are many reasons as to why I love April Fool (I know I’m late on this, sorry.) The main reason being it has Tom Verlaine on guitar. Tom was the frontman of one of the greatest bands ever (and highly underrated) Television. His solo work is just as inspiring and important as his work with Television. I want to talk about Richard Hell, but I will go off on one. I’ll save that for another day. My love for Richard Hell is always kept in my heart, away from harm.

April Fool just shows how delicate and loving Patti is. Her words have been my crutch. You see, Patti is the only solid thing that has EVER made me feel like I can do anything. All too often people are quick to say you cannot do something. Patti is the only force that has made me believe that these dreams I have, that may seem stupid and crazy to someone…aren’t stupid or crazy at all. She taught me how to put my heart and soul into something without letting it drain me. Shirley Manson makes me want to be tough, Patti Smith makes me want to make things happen for me. Everything about her is just so wonderful and beautiful. She is just everything I’d love to me. But I’m me, and I’m starting to see that it’s not such a bad thing.

April Fool makes you want to fall in love with a fellow writer and just escape. Patti’s music and lyrics have always shown me that there’s a better life, and it’ll come if I stick at it. My love for her is probably too much for my body to contain. I keep her words in my heart and constantly on my mind. She goes beyond being everything to me. Some people just have that indescribable quality about them that blows your mind; Patti has that.

Courtney Love.

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When you truly love a singer, you look beyond all the bad press. You know that the press are just out to set a person up for a fall. For some fucked up reason mistakes are held up high and any hints of success are immediately ignored. Humans are becoming less and less compassionate. Increasing in their cruel streak.

I’m not saying Courtney Love is perfect. She will tell you she isn’t. Nobody on this planet is perfect. We all do things we aren’t proud of. Some on a daily basis. If you learn and keep growing as a person, you’re just fine. Fuck what anyone thinks though, right?

I’ve always loved the music Courtney Love made. Whether it was on her own or in Hole. I never cared for her personal life at all. She had a drug habit? Big deal. She was married to Kurt Cobain? Big deal. I was never a fan of Nirvana. Everytime I hear some wanker say “Courtney killed Kurt” I do want to throttle them. Were you there? No. You weren’t. You probably only claim to dig Nirvana because you want to seem cool. Rip your jeans and hate the world. It’s just an image to you. I was never a fan of Nirvana, but I respect Kurt as a musician. His lyrics could cut through your heart with his honesty. So how come nobody has ever saw this in Courtney’s lyrics?

If you want to find a strong female musician who, against it all, kept going when she was expected by so many to just keep on fucking up and giving up- then Courtney is your woman. Those who are quick to judge her and slag her off, have you ever listened to her words? Have you heard Live Through This? That record is empowering in its truest form. It touches on subjects most are afraid to touch on due to them being “taboo.” How can you expect society be open when it shuts up on haunting subjects? We truly need women like Courtney in music. I still live in hope that some 14-year-old girl is listening to Hole and feels the need to start her own movement. Live Through This starts some kind of fire inside of you. When you’ve listened to this record, you just see the world in a different way. You see the unfairness and how unequal society still is and it makes you want to do something about it. What are YOU going to do about all the wrong you see?

For me, Courtney is the underdog that has so much heart and soul you cannot ignore her. How could you want to silence such a force?

I first heard Hole in 1994. I remember seeing the video to Doll Parts and my young eyes were just obsessing over what I was seeing. I couldn’t get my head round the video. I loved the angst feel to it. You know, one of the first tapes I remember being given was a 4 Non Blondes album by my mum. She knew I loved the angst feel. I wasn’t an angry child. I was much like I am now. Quite, sensitive and stupidly gentle. I just loved music that was loud, bold and honest. I still do.

When you hear how much a singer believes in what they are singing, you really cannot help but believe in every word too. You fall for it. It is just like falling in love. You get the butterflies when you hear their voice. You cling onto every single word. You believe in it with all you have and refuse to let anyone say a bad word against them. Maybe it can be destructive, but look beyond that and you see all it is, is unconditional. So long as they put out the songs that sum up how you feel, you will love them with all you have.

Maybe I just love Courtney so much that I cannot see why anyone would choose to keep such a strong woman down. Or maybe I’ve answered it myself right there. Maybe it is because she is so strong, she is seen as a threat you know? Because she speaks her mind and writes from the heart, she is seen as some kind of threat. Well you know what, I’d rather have someone as strong and fierce (I don’t mean it in a Tyra Banks fashion) be seen as a threat than someone stupid (insert any politician really.)

Her lyrics touch on anything and everything. From rape to romance. From wanting to never wanting again. To wanting to give yourself to a person to wanting a person to take everything from you. Maybe you’re scared of the fact that you can identify with her lyrics, you hate how open she is and you hate how you cannot be open. Face that fear.

I don’t understand how a person such as Courtney is ridiculed and shot down- yet if it was anyone else, they’d probably hold that person up so high. I can list the few singers that caused me to write songs/poems and Courtney is one of them. Earlier this evening, I just sat on my bed and wrote her a poem. She’ll never see it, no one will ever see it. But she’s been an inspiration to me ever since 1994, it’s the least I could do.

It pains me that Courtney will be one of these artists that people will pay attention and love when she is no longer with us. Why can’t we just see how talented she is now and stop being a general asshat towards her talent? If it wasn’t for her, a lot of the female musicians we have now wouldn’t have bothered to pick up a guitar and start their own movement.

Females such as Shirley Manson, Brody Dalle, Gwen Stefani are all as equally as inspiring to me (and others) as Courtney is. Strong and honest. Stop seeing these qualities as a threat. Try and silence them as much as you want, but its obvious you never ever will.

If it wasn’t for Courtney I don’t know if I would’ve cared for lyrics as much as I do. Yes, I love Morrissey but with Courtney she let out the fears, pains and furies one feels as a female. Now more than ever, as an adult I can relate a hell of a lot more. There’s so much more to her than what you have read about her. Don’t believe the press, believe in her lyrics. That’s where you will find the truth.

Her vulnerability in her lyrics mean more to me than I can even attempt to express. She made it okay for you to feel like you are falling apart, but still find that one tiny thing to give you the strength to drag yourself through. Basically “Live Through This.”

Billie Holiday.

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97 years ago today the GREATEST female singer of all time was born. Her voice could break your heart, it still does. Listen to Strange Fruit and you will feel such hate for humanity because of how cruel they are. Listen to P.S. I Love You, and your heart will ache from how loving it is. Her voice was a voice that STILL inspires so many singers now. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have so many of the strong female singers we have now. She was as powerful as she was weak, and that is what made her believable and easy to relate to.

I did part of my dissertation at Uni about her. I learnt so much about her. Until then I just respected and loved the voice. The further I delved into her background, the more I felt towards her music. Her music oozed love and pain. Just like her life. Swindled out of money during the last few years of her life, it’s just so sad. A vulnerable and talented woman who changed music forever.

Happy Birthday Billie Holiday xx

Camila Grey.

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I wrote this about a week ago..maybe a bit longer? I lose track. Me and the concept of time just do not go together at all. I don’t own a watch. I just don’t like having to schedule stuff. Anyway, I wrote this little thing about Cam from Uh Huh Her. Except what I wanted to do was write about her as musician. Not as..well, anything but I guess. You know what happened? BAD SHIT HAPPENED. I was called various things and got some wonderfully shit messages from people who evidently took this the wrong way. You see, they failed to see that I was writing about a musician and just got mad possessive over an actress that USED to be in The L Word. Oh, and just so we’re clear- The L Word was a TV show. Shane was a fictional character, she doesn’t exist. You are not her, so please lesbians- stop trying to act like her. However, I’m aware that many try to emulate this character in order to get some vagina. Be yourself. That’s more attractive (however, I’m constantly myself and no one wants to know but..hey, why listen to me right?!) It pissed me off because I stupidly put a lot into writing about Cam. I admire and respect her, as a musician. Yes I know she is highly attractive (as is Leisha, I know.) But I wrote it as a profile of a musician that’s been around for some time now, and I personally felt that her work needed to be recognised. Not just as a member of Uh Huh Her. However, it turns out I was wrong to do that because some that cling onto The L Word had a problem. So, I deleted it. I thought, why should I even bother. I’ll just stick to writing about Garage Rock bands or whatever and leave out anything else. FUCK THAT. I’ve changed some parts, and this is staying. If you cannot see that this is about a musician called Camila Grey- then don’t read it. Just don’t bother. If you feel the need to slag this off, why bother? Go do something productive with your time rather than missing the point on something purely innocent.

So here, have some kind of article about a musician that I just admire, that’s all. Let’s try do this without the negativity from some, alright?

I guess I could’ve just written this about the band, but let’s be honest most know who Leisha Hailey is and what her past music endeavours were (The Murmurs then re-named Gush in 2001..) But, I feel for some horrible reason people are lacking their knowledge on Camila Grey. So, as I am a sadcase who has no life- I’m going to write about her. And guess what? I won’t be mentioning how hot she is. It’s about the music right now, but yes..she is very beautiful. Anyone with eyes can see that.

So here’s what you need to know. Cam isn’t just some beautiful woman prancing about with instruments. Oh no, she’s not like that. Actually, before I go into detail about her past music deal, I’m going to mention something that caused me to have a mild fit. I was watching an interview of Cam a while ago, and she was mentioning bands she liked. I kind of already knew she probably had a solid music taste judging by the music she makes. So, she lists a couple of bands then BAM! She mentions a band that I have loved since I was a baby. I had their music played to me at a very young age, and partially the reason as to why I’ve always been drawn to lyrics. She mentioned The Fall. Camila Greys digs THE FALL. Fucking..Mark E Smith. She is a fan of one of the best bands to have EVER come from Manchester. You really cannot imagine my reaction to this. I felt like someone had told me I had won the lottery or some shit. I think I yelled “FUCK OFF!!!” at the computer as she said it. I couldn’t get my head around it. You never really hear someone mention The Fall anymore, I have no idea why as they are such a vital band. Mark E Smith’s way with words is hilarious and accurate, for someone who I think is nothing short of amazing to mention The Fall? No words. Honestly. Oh, and she collects vinyl- so combine all these factors and you pretty much have my favourite person in life that I have never met. Just watch this clip :

Right, I’ve had my brief outburst as to why I personally think she’s amazing. Now I’ll be a bit more “professional.” Oh, before I continue- I stand by my wish to sit in a pub with her and discuss The Fall. I own a few albums on vinyl, and I think her and I need to discuss The Fall together. Can someone make it happen? Thanks.

Cam was educated at Berklee College of Music. She met her former band mate of Mellowdrone (listen to them, seriously they were/are pretty damn good) Jonathan Bates there. She’s worked with Busta Rhymes, in my head this means she has done a rap album with him full of mental freestyles over blues samples..and it has yet to be released. The world isn’t ready. This is what goes on in my head, and sometimes I worry myself. Would be pretty cool if we ever heard Cam rap, right? Oh wait..what?

I think this justifies my idea that she has done a rap album with Dr.Dre and Busta. And as you know, she also toured with Adam Lambert. I think he may have rapped on the record too. Probably did a little beatbox freestyle. This has to happen. Can we make this happen? I know I said I was going to be “professional” with this, but I’ve clearly messed that up.

Alright, so what I love about Cam (I don’t want you to think I don’t love Leisha, because I do. I just think more need educating about Camila, that’s all. No bad feelings here.) I love that you can tell she fucking loves music. You read any interview, watch any live performance or read any interview- you can just feel the pure passion she has for music. I got into Uh Huh Her’s music in the summer of 2008. I have no idea how I found their music but I know I was listening to them before I ever watched The L Word. That’s right, I am such a SHIT lesbian. I heard Common Reaction and just thought it was an incredible debut record. I didn’t even know Leisha was in the band. I watched the video to Not A Love Song and thought..”SHE LOOKS FAMILIAR!!! Oh wait..there’s a unicorn.” The fake unicorn impressed me more than it probably should. And because of that, I now stick ice cream cones on the heads of horses… I don’t, just in case any anti-animal cruelty people come knocking. I’m a vegetarian, I love animals. Probably more than I love people. Animals are more loving and compassionate aren’t they. So yeah, I didn’t know Leisha had a band. So I read up about Uh Huh Her, got the record and fell insanely in love. I think I played Common Reaction to death, however I never ever listen to Dreamer. That song ruins me. I don’t care that I’m a stable person now, but listening to that song can make me just fall to pieces. I can’t think about it. Wait Another Day is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard, and I think I now hate how much I can currently sort of relate to it.

After hearing Common Reaction, I went back and listened to their EP, I See Red. The title track is probably my favourite by the band. Although, if you play Another Case to me..I’ll probably do anything you want. Within reason. Oh, and Explode makes me think every single part of me is going to just combust. In short, the band mean a hell of a lot to me. However, when I listen to them at the gym I really don’t enjoy Debris coming on when I’m on the rowing machine and an attractive woman is near me on the treadmill. That song wasn’t made for that kind of situation. It always seems to creep up on me at times where it shouldn’t. But I just love how it has a Grunge feel to it. The guitar..good lord the guitar. That alone is enough to send me funny. If they do this when I see them in April (SHEPARDS BUSH!!) I’ll probably have to leave the room.

Although they’re not hugely popular, I mean who cares- but with a band like Uh Huh Her, you do NEED them in your life. What I admired about them the most is how they self-funded Nocturnes (one of the best records of 2011) It also showed just how loyal their fan base is..even if some are partial to yelling “I LOVE YOU ALICE” at gigs. If that happens on the 24th April, I will NOT be responsible for my actions at all. It’s just disrespectful more than anything.

Have I spoken about Camila enough? I haven’t? Okay. I love her voice. It has a seductive but gentle feel to it. I feel like a right arse typing that, but it is true..isn’t it? Her voice can sound so delicate on some tracks, yet on others she sounds so…I don’t even know what the word is. Just listen to Criminal..then go listen to I See Red. You should be able to get the general gist of what I am getting at. Oh and also she absolutely and amazingly mothereffin’ KILLS the guitar. It is seriously enough to make you want to grab the nearest person to you, and get up in their face and yell “WHY IS THIS THE MOST PERFECT THING I HAVE EVER HEARD.” My friends are already concerned about my welfare and general behaviour at the gig in April. It’s okay. So long as I have a bit of whiskey and a fruit tea, I’ll be totally fine. It’s just after the gig that could be the problem. I’ll compare everything in life to it, and just end up experiencing disappointment. Something which I force myself to never feel, it’s been working just fine in my 25 years on this planet.

So there you have it. A brief rambling as to why I love Camila Grey and as to why she is a bloody incredible musician. I don’t think I’ve done her justice have I? But all I can do is write as a fan who adores those who make amazing music. When you feel some kind of connection to a band, you feed off the love they have for what they do- and it makes you believe in them, and yourself even more. What I learnt from Uh Huh Her, especially with regard to the second album is that you should never EVER compromise who you are to get what you want. Do it your way, and only your way because it is the only way you will reach any kind of satisfaction with yourself, and what you do.

Holly Miranda.

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You know when a voice is just so perfect, and when you listen to it you are so unsure of the right words to use to describe it? That’s pretty much my feelings towards Holly Miranda. I started writing this last year (sometimes, I’m really slow with important stuff. I know my bad traits all too well) and for some stupid reason I left it. I guess I just didn’t know what to write, or how to write it. So I re-read what I had written and in a fit of “I AM SO SHIT” I deleted it. I deleted it just before starting it again. Normally I’d just ignore it and never think about it again, but it has been on my mind most of the evening. It makes a change because most of the time my thoughts are all over the place. Maybe it is because I haven’t had a nap today.

I was a huge fan of The Jealous Girlfriends. Organs On The Kitchen Floor is a song I play a hell of a lot still. It reminds me of self-indulgent cowards, we all know some. I try to avoid them. However there are some things in life you just cannot avoid. So enough putting off writing this. I spend my time just writing and writing. Seems like the quote to sum up my life is from the film, Almost Famous : “I’m always home, I’m uncool.” It doesn’t phase me anymore, especially when it means writing about Holly Miranda.

So yes, it all started with her being in The Jealous Girlfriends. I have no idea where I was when I first listened to them, I think I was at University to be honest. Seems about right. I think it was around 2007. Then a year or so later, I really go into Holly’s solo work. It just blew me away. I just wish I had the right vocabulary to express to you how much I love her voice. It isn’t your typical kind of voice, it’s why I love her SO much. You know when you hear a singer, and you just think “I want to meet this person and talk about music, and everything about it.” That’s how I feel. I’ve got about 10 musicians I feel this way about, Holly is one of them for sure. I’m just drawn to musicians that make music with all they have. You can tell they do it for the love of the art- not for the money. Selling out massive arenas isn’t what its about- it’s about staying true to your art. I just love that. Those who do not compromise who they are and what they do are people I find easy to admire and connect with. I find it to be the most inspiring trait a person can have.

Her voice is so damn soulful. It has such a bluesy feel to it- much like Janis Joplin. Did I just compare Holly to Janis? Yeah, I did. I went there. I’m not sorry. I don’t expect you to agree, but seriously..they both have that rugged yet vulnerable texture to their voice. It is so so perfect. Aside from me absolutely being in love with her music, there’s another reason as to why I’m writing about her.

Like a hell of a lot of musicians, Holly has a Pledge page where you can donate money in order to help the record be funded. Even if you’re not a fan of her work, please check out the Pledge site because you may just find your new favourite band. You can check out Holly’s page at : http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/hollymiranda Also, money will be going towards a charity Holly has chosen to endorse which is : http://www.i-live-here.com/malawi.html

I don’t regard sexuality to be a big deal in music, and I don’t see how you can use it to define a sound. Maybe it’s because I’m secure in my sexuality and don’t use it to define who I am. Who knows. Anyway, Holly is gay (big deal, I know but stay with me..) and I read a quote once and it pretty much said,

“I have no problem being out, but I don’t think it has anything to do with my music.” 

Can we just take a moment to applaud her for speaking the TRUTH. Her personal life is just that..PERSONAL. Same with anyone. I don’t care who you’re involved with. Just be happy and safe, you know? Music is music. It’s a force that brings people together regardless.

Holly’s music is just something I hold very dear to me. As you know by now I’m not a fan of covers but she’s done some AMAZING covers such as Ex-Factor, Let’s Get It On (her version of it is a serious deal..if it doesn’t sexually frustrate you, seek help), I’d Rather Go Blind..she’s just..man, if I had the right words I’d use them. But, I’ve done all I can. Holly if you see this (I wish you would) then I am so sorry I haven’t done you justice with this. I just think you’re incredible. I’ve put this under my “Influential Women In Music” category, because I believe she truly is influential in so many ways.

Anyway, have some songs to make up for the fact that I’m useless and she isn’t. ENJOY!