Author Archives: Olivia

Spiritualized – Broken Heart.

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With songs, I always seem to be drawn to ones that will cause me to feel a bit shit or make me cry. Not because I enjoy feeling like shit, far from it. But there is something about the vulnerability a singer projects that makes you feel exactly the same.

There is one band, more specifically one song- Broken Heart by Spiritualized. I never really talk about Spiritualized with my friends because well, I doubt any of them would give a shit. So I keep quiet and enjoy them. I like to keep certain bands for just me, and I think Spiritualized are one of them.

Broken Heart is easily the saddest song I have ever heard. I just played it, and I immediately broke down. Maybe it’s because I can stupidly relate to it right now, maybe it is because the way Jason Pierce sings you can feel his pain. Maybe it is the orchestral sounds that add an element of sadness to it that a voice can’t. It’s all of these reasons and more. It’s so painfully accurate. Next time you have your heart torn out, listen to this song. In fact listen to the entire album, Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space. It’s one of the most gorgeous albums ever created, I’ll say that about all of Spiritualized’s albums, but there is something about this one that does something to you. It breaks you and fixes you at the same time.

“Though I have a broken heart, I’m too busy to be heart broken. There’s a lot of things that need to be done, But I have a broken heart.” You know you have things to do, but you cannot face them because everything just hurts. Getting out of bed seems to be the most difficult thing in the world to do. Everything seems pointless and painful.

“I’ve been told that this will heal given time, but I have a broken heart” You know that deep down you’ll get over it, but your heart is in pieces and no part of you at that specific time feels like you can carry on. You can’t do anything. Nothing and no one can heal you. It’s just too much. Dealing with a broken heart is too much to bear. There’s nothing you can do, it’s when you feel at your most helpless and hopeless. You constantly feel worthless.

“And I’m crying all the time, I have to keep it covered up with a smile. And I’ll keep on moving on for a while, but I have a broken heart.” Just when you think the song could not get any more distressing and heartbreaking, you are hit with this stomach churning line. The whole song is like a kick in the gut, a reminder of the worst pain you have ever (emotionally) felt. If you can pull yourself through heartbreak, you can pull yourself through anything. Although sometimes it is just too much. Sometimes you have to do it alone, sometimes you have to have outburst to anyone who will listen. What do I do? Oh I keep quiet and listen to Spiritualized. I played it earlier for the first time in a long time, and it just caused me to bawl. Everything at once just hit me- not from a personal point of view, but hearing how hurt Jason Pierce sounds, it isn’t right that one person can be made to feel this way from the awful actions of another person.

Heartbreak happens to us all; at the time it feels like the worst thing in the world. Then somehow, you manage to overcome it. You don’t know how, but you just do. Maybe it’s because you have no choice.

I am told it gets better, I’m still waiting.

Two Is The Magic Number.

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There is something about a band that only has two members. There’s something about two people creating so much noise and chaos (The Kills) or something so utterly tranquil and beautiful (Beach House) that just leaves me in awe.

Beach House and The Kills are examples of bands only needing two members to create something so wonderful. When you listen to Teen Dream or Keep On Your Mean Side, you can’t help but be amazed that just two people created these works of art.

For me, I’m more likely to be drawn to a band with two members than four or five. Not because they are better, it’s all personal taste isn’t it. But because you know they have to work extra hard to prove themselves and more effort probably goes in.

The White Stripes for instance, probably one of the most influential bands of their time. There is no denying the genius of Jack White, and yes Meg may have a simplistic way of playing the drums- but it worked. With her drumming and Jack’s mind blowing guitar abilities, it was a perfect combination.

Just like The Kills, Jamie’s aggressive guitar sound with Alison’s beautiful, pure voice over it is just brilliant. You don’t need everything to be in depth nor do you need everything to be simple- combine the two and you create something glorious.

Some of the greatest bands ever only had two members such as: Tears For Fears, Eurythmics, Sam & Dave, Gang Starr, Röyksopp. They say three is the magic number, I doubt it. Two is all you need. These are artists that have inspired so many and still do. Their art is sampled by other artists. Their work is still used in adverts, films, television shows- it still exists. What they have produced is highly influential and will not fade out any time soon. That’s what makes it so good. A really shit film could sample a song by Tears For Fears- but it wouldn’t matter, because Tears For Fears are still a band that are important to so many. I remember my mum owing one of their albums on cassette. CASSETTE! They need bringing back!

If you listen to She & Him you feel you’re back in the 60s with the Wall Of Sound era, instead it’s just two wonderful musicians creating beautiful music. The same applies to The Raveonettes- a brilliant duo who I feel are highly underrated. Every album is like a step back, but in a good way. When music can make you feel like you are in some other time and place, that’s when you know it’s good.

You can’t mention duos without mentioning the fabulously weird and brilliant The Knife. Heartbeats is one of the most gorgeous songs I have ever heard, the lyrics are so beautiful. The Knife’s sound is so distinctive, strange and rare. Something I fully admire in a band or singer.

Boards Of Canada are a brother duo from Scotland; they just reinforce my belief that most bands from Scotland are bloody amazing. They have created music that is perfect to lose your mind to. I don’t mean going bat shit crazy, but by sitting on a hill in the summer with their music blaring into your ears as you just lay there taking all the delightful sounds in. Nothing matters apart from the music. The music that you are allowing every part of you to become free. The music takes over. You’re no longer a person; you are part of this sound travelling freely. That’s what Boards Of Canada do. Don’t believe me? Then I suggest you lay down and listen to them. Do nothing, just listen.

Hip Hop is a genre that has some of the best duos. EPMD, Eric B & Rakim, Gangstarr, Mobb Deep, Black Star, Method Man & Redman…I could go on and on about Hip Hop. After Punk, it’s one of types of music that just means a lot. I get pretty defensive about it. Especially now, the more mainstream side of it is highly degrading. Artists such as Common, Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Lupe Fiasco- modern day poets who actually teach you something are the kind I love. Black On Both Sides by Mos Def is an album I hold very dear to me. Everything about is just goes back to what Hip Hop, for me, is about- the lyrics. Lyrics are important to me. Hip Hop, in its truest form is like poetry. Tupac for instance, he was a poet. There used to be passion in this genre, it needs pulling out again.

There’s this whole myth that there is power in numbers, bullshit. There’s power in your art. Within you. Take Morrissey for instance- he could easily take on a band of five members with his lyrics alone. One man alone versus a five member band, he’d come out on top. Then you’ve got a band like The Kills who create such a wonderful riot sound that would make a band with more than two members worry. That’s what amazes me about The Kills every time. It is their ability to create such an aggressive sound that is so big. You imagine them to have some insane drummer and at least two guitarists with the sound they create. But no, it’s just two amazingly talented individuals.

I am fully aware that I could have mentioned so many more duos here, but I’ve mentioned ones that mean something to me. I’m just fascinated by the creation a duo can create. It impresses me more than a four or five member group. There’s just something about it. You can feel the hard work they put into it. The blood, sweat and tears. I am not dismissing a band that has more than two members at all, far from it. We live in a world where we constantly feel like we have to prove ourselves to get somewhere. It’s almost as if a duo is the “underdog” of the music industry. Well sometimes, the underdog has its day.

Deftones- Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away.)

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Hardly anyone knows this, but one of my favourite bands ever are Deftones. One of my favourite albums ever is Around The Fur. I think it’s just a perfect album to escape to.

One song in particular that means so much to be is Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away). It just makes me want to throw all my stuff into a bag, headphones in and just leave. But seeing as I am low on funds, I just play it over and over, and dream about leaving. Leaving for something better. Because let’s face it, there is always something better than what you currently have. You may not think it, but when taken out of the situation you are in- you will look back and think, “Why didn’t I do something?”

The way Chino sings on this song just breaks you. The desperation and frustration that comes through in his voice is astounding, it makes you feel his frustration. It makes you want to pick shit up and throw it. It makes you want to get in the face of the one person who is causing all these feelings to build up, and tell them exactly how low they make you feel. Yet the sad thing is, you want to get away far- but you probably want it to be with them. It’s just a song that leads you to asses all the things in your life that are causing these frustrations. It is okay to be angry, it is okay to have insecurities. It is okay to feel. Do not let another person tell you otherwise. If you’re mad- be mad. If you want to cry- let the tears fall. If you’re happy- fucking hold onto it. Because people will never want to get rid of your hurt, just your joy.

Back to the song.

“I don’t care where, just FAR!” The way this is sung is just out of this world. The way Chino emphasises “FAR” breaks your heart. It shatters you. There’s only one way to play this song. Alone and loud.

Everything about this song causes your heart beat to increase. You feel things you didn’t think were humanly possible. It’s like being in love but without the pain and disappointment.

Yes it is angsty, but not in a “I hate the world, woe is me” kind of vibe. It’s sheer frustration that sometimes, we struggle to offload.

It just makes you want to forget all that is fucking you over, and just go. And sometimes, in life, it is needed. Real life can be daunting and sometimes dull, so the best thing you can do is escape and create.

Beach House.

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Beach House are a band I’d like to sit outside listening to, on a warm summer’s evening watching the sun going down with either a group of close mates or someone special. They give that feeling of just being surrounded by love, even though some of their songs may make you feel a bit sad, the music doesn’t.

Lover Of Mine is beyond gorgeous. I could happily play it over and over. there’s just something about it that is so relaxing. I have it on repeat most days. It’s got psychedelic undertones; this is why I am in love with Beach House.

Listening to them, I don’t feel like I am in this era. I feel like I am in the 1960s, catapulted into a field with the blazing hot sunshine on my back as I wander round aimlessly for hours. Sounds perfect, right?

Teen Dream was easily one of last year’s best albums. Why? Well listen to it and you’ll find out. Tracks such as Lover Of Mine, Zebra, Norway and Real Love just reinforced my love for the band. Beach House are a band to believe in. they are proof that a band does not need 5 members to justify how amazing they are. It’s an album to cuddle to, fall asleep to, wake up…just live really. From start to finish it is perfect. Haunting, wonderful- just everything about it is what you want from an album, from a band. It’s just a mind-blowing album. “In a wide open field we know we can feel
Awake and unreal, off to nowhere.” The way this is sung just feels like a dream, it’s perfect.

Better Times follows after Lover Of Mine, both are equally stunning- lyrically and musically. “Been a fool for weeks. ‘Cause my heart stands for nothing, and your soul’s too weak.” What isn’t there to love about this simply gorgeous line? I could play Teen Dream constantly; it sends me off into another place. It’s just beautiful.

I know this basically seems like I am telling you how wonderful Teen Dream is and ignoring previous albums, but you just need it in your life more than anything. Well, not more than oxygen because that would be silly wouldn’t it.

 

Moving on from Teen Dream, Beach House are pretty much a band you need to have in your life on an almost daily basis. Your summer will not be the same without them. Road trips to the beach or wherever with Beach House blaring out as you are amongst the company of your favourite people- there is truly nothing more beautiful. Watching the sunset whilst listening to Beach House, is there anything more perfect?

Watching video clips of interviews with Alex and Victoria, you can sense that unlike a lot of bands, they truly care about the music and what it does for them. A lot seem to just do it for money or to be “cool” (“cool” doesn’t exist; it’s just a term to boost the egos of those who don’t deserve it.) There is no pretentiousness with them, they just create beautiful music. Seriously, if you feel there is something missing in your life- it’s Beach House shaped.

The duo has this glorious way of waking up certain feelings you thought you would never have again. They fill you with joy, and yes there is sadness amongst the lyrics, but if you pay attention to the music and the voice of Victoria you will hear something so beautiful that all the pain you are holding inside just seems so irrelevant because your ears are being exposed to this wondrous sound.

So be sensible and brave- and let Beach House inside your heart, and own it.

Garbage- beautifulgarbage

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Nearly 10 years ago Garbage released their third album, beautifulgarbage. Many seem to have overlooked just how wonderful this album is. October 1st sees the 10 year anniversary of its release, so I’m getting in early (or late…depends on how you look at it) to explain why and how this is a remarkable album that you need in your collection.

 

I was about 8 or 9 when I first heard of Garbage. I remember seeing them on MTV in 1995 and just being in awe of the sound and I instantly fell in love with Shirley Manson. Maybe she’s the reason why I’m gay, or maybe it’s because my mum used to play kd lang around the house- so many reasons, none of which need discussing.

Anyway.

Garbage are one of the few bands I have been a fan with from the start. I grew up with them. I like to think I learnt a lot from Shirley’s lyrics. Songs such as Medication, You Look So Fine, The Trick Is To Keep Breathing, Metal Heart- well they mean the world to me, and I’m not entirely sure if I could even begin to explain how so.

 

Beautifulgarbage opens with Shut Your Mouth. The way Shirley sings here is pretty much like always, “I’ll act like I don’t give a fuck, but I fucking do.” And I think a lot of us live that way, feel that way towards people and their actions. There’s always going to be someone in our lives that we like to act like they do not matter to us anymore, that their actions and words are meaningless- but deep down, it’s the opposite. The feeling fades in time, trust me.

 

The album is full of heartbreaking songs which I feel paint the picture of a horrific break up, I know the vast majority of break ups are horrific but some can be liberating. Either way, someone always gets hurt. Not every song is about a break up here, obviously. Androgyny, So Like A Rose, Parade to name a few aren’t.

Nobody Loves You ends with one of the most gorgeous lines to have ever fallen from Shirley’s mouth, “Coughing up feeling just for you, to find something real to hold on to. But there is a hole inside my heart, where waves of my love come tumbling out.” This is so painfully accurate. I suppose we have all had someone we try to cling onto, and any gaps within ourselves we just urge some kind of feeling- whether it be love or just the ability to care, to just come out. You put all you have into feeling that maybe, you just don’t feel.
“You say that all the good is gone, that I have forgotten who I am. Free as a bird, wild as the wind. But somehow I cannot let you in.” You see that this person cares for you, but no way and no how- you cannot let them in. I guess some people cannot be let in. It happens to us all, no matter how strong you are.

 

So Like A Rose is euphoric. The build up in these 6 minutes is beautiful and hurtful. There is something about the ending of the song which makes you feel like you are floating through air. “Sleeping with ghosts, it’s such a lonely experience. The stars are out tonight, only they can hear you breathing.” The only comfort you have are ghosts (if you believe in them) and the stars. That’s all you have, but hearing it in this song makes you feel less alone.

 

If there’s one song by Garbage that is going to break your heart, then it’ll be Cup Of Coffee. It opens with such such gut wrenching line, “You tell me you don’t love me over a cup of coffee and I just have to look away.” This pretty much sets the tone for the whole song. Someone tells you it’s over, but the song isn’t about the break up, it’s about what you feel afterwards. The emptiness that this person has left you to feel, all alone. You walk the streets that you know they will walk on, you walk past their home- but you keep going because it hurts too much to stand and look.

“So no of course we can’t be friends, not while I still feel like this. I guess I always knew the score. This is where our story ends.”Then the person wants you to still be friends even though they’ve metaphorically ripped you apart. Friendship? No thanks love, move on. You always knew it would end, because most things do.

 

The album is full of insecurities and the like, which is probably why I hold this album so very close to me. Drive You Home projects these insecurities extremely well. “I got down on myself, working too hard. Driving myself to death, trying to beat out the faults in my head. What a mess I’ve made. Sure we all make mistakes. But they see me so large that they think I’m immune to the pain.” You work so hard and put as much of yourself you can into being better and to stop fucking up, but the truth is- you will fuck up. You’re human, it’s what you do. Yet, people perceive you to be someone who doesn’t feel the pain of mistakes, but you feel it. You feel it more than most. You just know how to hide. “I never said I was perfect, but I can drive you home.” You know you’re not perfect, but who is? But you know that you can make the one you love/care for feel safe, even if you are carrying a shitload of insecurities around with you.

 

The album is gloriously heartbreaking and you need it. It’s as important as Garbage, Version 2.0 and Bleed Like Me. I’ll never understand why beautifulgarbage was always overlooked. Maybe it’s not as raw as the first two albums, but to the true Garbage fan- it’s everything they want. Any album or single, any piece of music they get from Garbage is a blessing. Garbage are like The Smiths- to love them, you love them for life. You don’t just like the one song. You love everything they do. You love the B-Sides such as Trip My Wire and Soldier Through This. Everything they do is important to you. Their lyrics provide comfort on good and bad days. You’d be lost without this band. That’s what makes me love Garbage. They can say how I feel and think, because sometimes I don’t know how to, and that- that is what makes a band like Garbage standout from others. Everyone has a band like this, which means the universe to them.

The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart.

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Every part of me hated writing this, but I had to get it out. I’m fully aware how crap it reads, but it had to be done. I suppose. I guess I just wanted to write about how much this song means to me right now.

Currently everything feels ever so wrong. When I get this, I have no choice but to use a band or singer to be my crutch.

Usually it’s The Strokes, Morrissey, Metric, Bob Dylan and Cat Power.

Now? Now I’m using The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart. Why? Well, because right now, they’re the only band I listen to that vocalise every ounce of hurt and disappointment I feel. Nobody I know listens to them, so that makes my attachment to this band less painful, I suppose.

 

I’ll just start with a song off their new album, Belong. Heart In Your Heartbreak is the one song in the world that makes me feel less alone and slightly okay- even if I do want to have some form of outburst when I listen to it. Everything about this song just reaches me in a way nothing or no one has. Or maybe, I just can’t let them. A song won’t let you down, but a person will.

“And there’s no use to say just how much it kills, when it still kills all the same. Every thought of her name like a hand to an open flame.” Something so simple can just sum up the immense pain of having your heart torn out. Someone mentions the person, and every part of you aches-in a bad way. When someone used to mention them, and you were happy. Now? Even just their name makes you feel awful.

The chorus. Fuck. The chorus is just a massive ode to a mistake. We’ve all made them haven’t we? We’ve all given a part of ourselves that don’t deserve it, but at the time- you feel it is right. I still think it was, and always will be. Anyway, chorus:

“She was the heart in your heartbreak. She was the miss in your mistake. And no matter what you take, you’re never going to forget.” She was once everything, but you were nothing. You can get drunk out of your mind, do whatever- but you cannot forget this person. It’s an internal war that will not get out.
“She was the tear in a rainstorm. She was the promise that you would’ve sworn. And no matter what you say, it’s never gonna come back.” They make you cry, you’d make promises for them- to them, and you never make promises. You can bend over backwards until you crumble for them- but they will never be yours. You know why? Because they probably never were.

 

Then you realise, you are utterly alone in this feeling. Yes others have felt the same, but you are entirely alone. But you’ve got this song to carry you through. Hell…you want to stand outside said person’s window with this song playing, just so they understand how crap you feel. But you know, sooner or later they’ll feel the same. You won’t be an empathetic shoulder for them to cry on, or will you? Probably because you’re a pushover.

Anyway, this part sums up the loneliness and shame you feel: “And your friends don’t understand that the world could end, and it would feel no worse than this. Every thought of the look in her eye, like a cold California sky.” It’s lovely and it helps having good people around, but nobody can shift this cloud of awfulness over you at all. Nothing and nobody has the answers. Maybe it isn’t answers you want. You just feel like you’ve lost one of the best things you had, except you didn’t really have it. You were close. You fell, and you fell alone. The falling part was great, but you hit the ground and as you hit the concrete- you had parts of you damaged that you don’t see any point in fixing.

 

“And no matter what you pray, it’s never gonna take the pain away. And even if she’d stay, you know it’s wrong. And no matter what you pray, it’s never gonna take the pain away. ‘Cause even if she’d stay, you know she’s gone.” And if by some strange stroke of luck they decided they wanted you, you know deep down it just wouldn’t be right, it’d be no good. You’re too hurt to call them let alone let them back in. Maybe in time. But wanting them to leave the one they are with, and come back to you is just wishful and stupid thinking isn’t it.

 

So in time, you’ll be alright. Or so they say. But you’ve been here a few times before that whatever faith you had, well, it’s nonexistent. Maybe you’ll function better carrying a bit of pain around. Maybe it’ll make you a better person, toughen up.

Whatever it’ll do to you, you just have to make sure that you act like it doesn’t matter and it never happened.

Until you get there, you’ll just play this song over and over

 

Trentemøller

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Lyrics are a vital thing for me. There is something comforting about someone else vocalising your frustrations, pains, highs,lows and disappointments. This is probably why I love lyricists such as Morrissey, Bob Dylan etc. However, recently I have found myself enjoying just music. No words. Just beautiful, haunting sounds that are equally as comforting as words from another.

One artist in particular that I currently cannot go a day without listening to is Trentemøller. He’s a Danish producer/ electro musician. His debut album came out in 2006, and his second album came out last year. Pretty big gap, right? Regardless, it was worth the wait. With musicians like him, it is always worth the wait. He’s remixed so many artists from Depeche Mode to Röyksopp. Everything he touches, he makes utterly beautiful. I’ve honestly never felt this towards an artist before. Yes I adore Morrissey- but my love for him is different. With Morrissey-well, he just tells my life story constantly. With Trentemøller, it is like being thrown onto another planet. No words to comfort you, just these glorious sounds that you can create your own meaning from.

Take Me In is my favourite. The fact it lasts just over 7 minutes makes me very happy. I love songs that last that long. The song is utterly euphoric. I’ve been playing it all day. I just want to stop people, and make them away of his genius ways. Bloody wonderful.

Miss You was the first track I heard. I found it by accident. I have no idea what I was listening to when I found it, I may have been listening to Burial and this song was recommended. It’s just gorgeous.

This is the kind of music where you just sit and do nothing to. Close your eyes, ignore the world and give all your thoughts and energy to the music.

You don’t always need words to express how you feel.

Summer Camp- I Want You.

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Since February this year I have been obsessed with a song by Summer Camp called, I Want You. No day has gone by where I haven’t played this over and over every single day. There is so much that I love about this song, it just causes every part of me to be entirely happy. The lyrics, the girl’s voice, the music- everything. When it kicks in- it blows your mind. Then when it ends you play it all over again just so you can get that “Fuck me, this is out of this world” feeling all over again.

“If I could i’d kiss your lips so hard your entire face would bruise.” Such a gorgeous line. We’ve all had someone in our lives that we just want. Nothing else, no one else is enough- just that one person. You want to hold them so fucking close, so you’re part of them for a while. The desperation in this song is heartbreaking, anyone who cannot relate to it clearly has a heart of stone.

When the bass comes in, it just transforms this song into one of the best things I’ve heard in a long time. It’s just stunning from start to finish. Forget wanting a person so badly it hurts, I just want to play this over and over- when I’m not listening to this, nothing feels right. Extreme? Possibly. I just can’t get enough of this song.

It’s simple yet at the same time utterly complex. “You’re so smart, you break my heart.”– that line means a lot to me right now, for too many personal reasons.

It’s only April, but it’s my song of the summer. More than likely my song of the year too.

Burial.

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There’s something about the music that Burial creates that just makes everything alright again. You can just sit or lay in the dark listening to his music, and everything just seems to fall into place even when it is so far from that. The sound is like a wave of comfort that no other musician has ever created. Does this sound extreme? Good, because that means you’re not listening closely enough if you don’t see…well, hear it.

A lot of music that you love hits you in your heart and you just feel it, it sinks into the pit of your stomach. It’s like that feeling you get when you’re around someone you become fond of, butterflies I suppose. The feeling you get from hearing a certain piece of music or your favourite band in general can cause you to react in a way that leaves others looking at you as if you are mental. Or maybe I’m alone in this, more than likely.

Anyway, Burial’s music doesn’t hit you in the heart- it goes deeper. It gets you right in your soul. That part of you that you never thought a piece of music could get you, he does exactly that. You don’t expect it. You shun him because you think, “Oh it’s dub step or whatever- it holds no substance.” Bullshit. Utter bullshit. Burial is remarkable. If you can’t see it now, after all these years- then I have no idea what will make you see it.

Oh I know what will- try listening to Ego or Mirrors- the two tracks he recently did with Four Tet and Thom Yorke. Seriously, if those two tracks do nothing to you, then you have no soul. And you more than likely need a hearing test too.

Burial is perfect music to just ease your brain, to make everything seem normal for once. It’s perfect escape music. Get on a train or lay on your bed- play his music and shut your eyes. Good music throws you into a different world; it takes you on a journey, where only you and this piece of music exist.

His sound is quite dark, yet at the same time distinctly euphoric. There are not many vocals in his songs, and although I love words- sometimes it’s nice to just have a sound rather than a voice. A sound can make you take what you want from it. It can cause you to create your own meaning rather than listen to a song about having your heart torn out and feeling the same desperation as the singer. With Burial, the sound takes you and you make it your own. You create what it means to you. That, makes a brilliant artist.