“When I die, when I disappear. Leave my bones behind.”

10 08 2012

They’ll bring up your mistakes and make you out to be a on a par with vicious people. That’s what they do. Who are THEY? They can be enemies, friends, families or just wretched fuckers who cannot control themselves. Control. Control. What a broad thing it is, what a pain it is. Self-control is something everyone wants. They want to know what they’re doing, they want to have a grip on it. I;ve accepted I’ll never know what’s going on. I press play, stick my headphones in and hope my favourite song gives me answers. Or hope. Or something. Pray, beg, cry out for a punch in the face because physical pain is easier to deal with than the torment you drag yourself through. I don’t listen to myself, and maybe that’s a bad thing. But if you can make sense of this, then you’re better than I am. A song doesn’t always have to give you the answers though. Sometimes a person can just make you realise that maybe…just maybe, you’re not so bad after all. You love this person with all you have, and more. You’d try to tell them but you’d just sound a bit daft. But you live in hope that they know, and one day realise this. But until then, you listen to songs to send you off into a dream.

Don’t come down from that cloud. Keep your head in them, because the come-down is such a drag. It’s all a drag. But there’s something morbidly euphoric about feeling so low, really low and knowing you can never sink that far down again. I don’t know if I’ve ever hit rock bottom. I think if I did, I wouldn’t tell anyone. There’s only so much ugliness one can show another, right? We hide beauty because we think we’re not good enough. A person can be so perfect for you, but they will claim otherwise. I don’t know how this works. Or maybe I do, and I just don’t want to expand on it.

You see, this euphoric state we all long to be in can be found anywhere. There’s one person that you wish you could look at right now, and feel that way- right? Of course. There’s a song that takes you there. It’s not a lullaby, you don’t want to be swayed until you fall into a wonderful slumber. You want something to hurl you into a different world. Do you want to take someone with you? Everything feels super cosmic and you cannot be touched. The eyes are more powerful than the hands. You can fake a hug, but not a gaze. I fail at staring competitions because I always want to laugh. I want to laugh at everything. Mainly because crying gives me a headache.

Anyway, something can put you on a permanent or temporary high. Some of the best music made gives you that high. No, you don’t need to be off your face on something to feel it. You’ve just got to open your soul and expand your mind. Free yourself, and don’t let a person tell you that you’re worth nothing. Know your own worth, and if you can’t do that- someone will show you.

With love comes kindness. With kindness comes patience. With patience comes anything you wish. Wait.





Slug Guts.

27 02 2012

I do listen to what others would call “happy” music, but it doesn’t make me happy. Music created from bands such as The Horrors, The Kills etc make me happy. You know why? Because I can sense how much they believe in what they are saying. It is all about connecting. Music, books, people- if I cannot connect to it, I won’t stick around. Slug Guts, aside from having a pretty cool name are nothing short of brilliant. I’m listening to Howlin’ Gang, and it is just what I need after having a really shitty and fucked up day (I’ll spare you the details..I’m trying to spare myself from it too.)

I love music that has the potential to scare me. I want music to make me feel like I’m being chased through a dark, misty forest with no way of getting help. A joyful sense of being trapped, and being so far removed for society and any way of being contacted. Isolation isn’t always a bad thing. Just society likes to drill into your skull that you must ALWAYS be around people. You must ALWAYS try to impress others and find a partner. Oh really? Cock off love. It isn’t about that, it never has been. Or will be. Strike out on your own, and accept yourself. Then see if anyone else will; consider yourself lucky if someone is willing to and wanting to spend time with you. I’d say I’m waiting for it to happen, but it is obvious it never will. Instead, I’m constantly seeking out new music to bang on about rather than seeking some kind of person to love. I think music will always be the only constant thing I ever have. I’m cool with that.

So let me tell you something about Slug Guts. They come from Brisbane. What I take from their music is that, it makes you feel like you are driving along a dusty, desolate desert. Driving in a rage that is slowly creeping up on you. You’re escaping something. I know that feeling too well. You’ve got what you own in the back of the car, and you’re playing music like this to get you to where you want and need to be. This is the only time where your wants and needs are the same. They are usually conflicting. The music just screams out “I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE” to me, and I love that. I cannot think of anyone who I can say that they sound like, you know I hate doing that. I try my best to never do that because it is lazy and it isn’t fair. I’m a lot of things but I’m not lazy or unfair (depends on who you ask though, some wanker will say I am. Ignore them, they don’t know.)

Their songs may be short, but they get right to the point. Besides, you can just keep on hitting that repeat button when it is over.

I love the vocals. I want to say that they remind me of Nick Cave, but again- lazy and unfair. So I’m just going to say that the vocals and the sheer musicianship is just utterly and perfectly perfect. I just want to listen to Slug Guts over and over..slip into some kind of trance. Wake up, and some kind of Armageddon  will be about to start. Typical. Well, as long as I don’t miss it..

Oh, and their new record is out just in time for Summer. I think it’ll be one of those that you wander around in the blistering heat (maybe not if you’re in the UK, it’ll probably snow or something.) Sweat it all out as you listen to something truly heart-racing and fucks with your mind in such a beautiful and haunting way.