Tag Archives: Saddest Factory Records

JASMINE.4.T : I Can’t Believe I Did This Without You.

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There aren’t many bands/singers I will bawl at the second I hear their voice or pay attention to the lyrics. One in particular goes against this, is the beautiful and just wonderful human being- jasmine.4.t.

I’ve written about Jasmine a few times, and her music means so much. Her words mean the world- it’s like feeling at home or safe in the person you are. She’s just amazing and seems to always know what to say. She’s just incredible.

Rather than me tell you why her new single, I Can’t Believe I Did This Without You is incredible and go into detail why, I want to use this to show why this song is important using Jasmine’s words. Anyone can listen to the song and hear it’s importance, but I want to share why it is such a vital song and the importance of the deluxe version of You Are The Morning (which is out on Friday.)

Read carefully, and please support Yulia in any way you can. Free Yulia. Free Palestine.

“This deluxe version of my record is dedicated to political prisoner Yulia Trot aka YBT. I met Yulia at the first queer event I ever attended. It was six months after I had come out, and I was still living in Bristol but staying with friends in Manchester. Yulia and I became really close – she taught me how to do my makeup over FaceTime, supported me through my marriage ending, and when I became homeless I moved onto the sofa of her one-bed flat in Manchester until I found a room. She stayed by my side through the toughest times of my life, giving me the strength to carry on through my transition, and in time we became each others’ chosen family. When I started performing as Jasmine, she would come on the road with me as roadie/security. There were a few times when she put herself between me and men twice her size who wished to harm me.

As the project grew, Yulia continued touring with us, running the merch stand and selling her handmade friendship bracelets for the benefit of Trans Mutual Aid Manchester, an organisation that supports members of my community with essential costs. She became a close friend of the whole band and a vital, supportive and reliable member of our community.

One evening in November 2024, while we were recording a live session for 6 Music, we heard news that Yulia had been arrested that day in a violent raid on her home. She is one of the Filton 24, arrestees alleged to be connected with a group of actionists entering the UK headquarters of Israeli weapons manufacturer Elbit systems in August 2024, where £1m worth of damage was said to be caused. This included killer Israeli drones that have been reported to target Palestinian children in Israel’s genocide in Gaza.

Our beloved Yulia was initially arrested under terrorism law in a gross misuse of legislation that allowed heavy-handed police powers. She was then charged with the non-terror offences of burglary and trespass, but transferred as a political prisoner to a maximum security private prison on the other side of the country, away from her family and friends, where she will be held on remand for a total of two years until her trial. As with several other protestors that the state wishes to make an example of, she was kept in the rehab wing so that she would experience sensory torture from the constant screams of inmates experiencing withdrawal symptoms. The prosecutors’ details were shared with Israeli state officials in a breach of judicial independence. The United Nations have intervened in this case, stating that anti-terrorism legislation “may have been used to circumvent procedural safeguards in relation to detention, and as a specific and general deterrent” in a serious breach of human rights standards. Several international humanitarian law firms have cosigned a letter (https://eldh.eu/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/UK-Filton-18-Statement.pdf) warning that this case signals a serious backslide of democracy and the rule of law.

Since her arrest, Yulia’s chosen family and friends have been regularly visiting her at HMP Bronzefield in Surrey and supporting her financially while in prison. Her absence is felt deeply and the visits to the prison carry an enormous emotional toll for us all. It terrifies me to see how my best friend’s mental health has deteriorated – she is autistic and is really struggling on the inside. There have been several periods where we have worried about her not surviving until her trial.

Entering the prison as a trans woman is terrifying, knowing how trans women are treated in prison. The first time I visited I was groped, and the second time I visited one of the guards made a joke about sexually assaulting prisoners. Though Bronzefield is the largest “Woman’s Prison” in Europe, several inmates there are transsexual men who are forcibly detransitioned on entry and denied access to their testosterone. Recently a trans man died in custody there – he was one of Yulia’s friends. This all happens while pride flags are displayed in the visiting hall. These daily traumas are wearing down on Yulia to the point where she thinks she is no longer herself, and will never be the same again.

Since my record was centred around themes of queer solidarity, queer friendship and queer love, three things that I believe Yulia personifies, it made sense to dedicate this deluxe version to her. These are some of the songs that she loved the most and often requested live, in particular “Did U No”, which was her favourite. I visited Yulia in prison during the recording session for this track, and I remember crying, screaming, and channeling my rage at the state into the vocals when I returned to the studio that evening.

We had planned to record “Did U No” for the album originally, as it was also a favourite of Phoebe’s, but sadly we ran out of time in LA. It is such a joy, now, to be able to finally get it down. It is joined by “Find Ur Ppl”, which was the second song that I wrote after coming out (following “Woman”). “Find Ur Ppl” is a song about meeting Yulia and the Manchester community, which feels vitally important given how many young trans people are in danger, isolated and in need of the safe haven of queer camaraderie. “I Can’t Believe I Did This Without You” and “I Don’t Think Anyone Else Could Hold The Same Place In My Heart” are two new songs on this release that I wrote during the LA recording sessions for the album, up on the roof of Sound City Studio between takes. I recorded five songs as demos and sent them as a thank you to my bandmates and producers after returning home to Manchester from LA. It’s nice to have more polished versions of these two. The remaining song, “Please Can We Hold Each Other Yesterday,” is a more recent ode to lost time with loved ones. I demoed this track on my phone and Steph Marziano (the awesome producer of these new tracks) liked it so much, as it was, that she suggested we didn’t re-record it and release it as is. I love how these tracks have turned out, with the help of Steph and the incredible band lineup that I have been playing live with this summer – Phoenix Rousiamanis on violin and keys, Maeve Westall on drums and Emily Abbott on bass.

Now when I sing these songs, I am singing them to my best friend, my mother, my sister, my daughter – the political prisoner Yulia Trot. Of all the things that I have lived through, nothing has felt as big as losing her. I hope that one day she will be able to hear these recordings. I hope that one day she, all of her co-defendants, and all of Palestine, will be free.

Please support Yulia’s friends and family with visit costs and read more at freeyulia.com and follow @freethefilton24 on Instagram.”

Jasmine will be on tour in the UK and Ireland in November:

11th Nov – Scala, London, UK
12th Nov – Thekla, Bristol, UK
13th Nov – The Art School, Glasgow, UK
15th Nov – Academy 2, Dublin, IE
16th Nov – Gorilla, Manchester, UK

jasmine.4.t : The Deaf Institute, 31st May 2025.

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Sometimes you listen to a record, a song or find a singer and you just know that they are going to impact your life in a way that will stay with you for a long time. A band in particular for me that first gave me this feeling was Garbage back in 1995. Fast forward 30 years, and I get the same feeling with the Angel of Manchester- jasmine.4.t.

Her debut record, You Are The Morning is an ode and celebration of Queer love and community. She lets us in delicately on her journey as a transwoman, and that is something to truly treasure. I’ve been to a lot of gigs in my time but I can honestly say that Jasmine’s show last night at The Deaf Institute was the safest I’ve ever felt and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one. I want to mention briefly (and I will be writing about them separately soon) the support acts from last night Ether Mech and Lucas Assagba. Both acts were divine, and the perfect way to start the night.

There are many reasons as to why the show was so special last night- but the two worth noting are, it was homecoming show for Jasmine and her band. They sold out The Deaf Institute! One of the most iconic and best venues in our beautiful city and it was sadly drummer Eden’s last show with them. Sadness and joy- the two things I felt a lot of last night! I knew in my gut I was going to feel every feeling possible last night, and being in the eyeline of the setlist made me prepare myself slightly. But the second Jasmine and Phoenix stepped to the stage, any mental preparation I did went right in the bin. I saw a few videos on Instagram this morning of the set, and in some of them you can see my little head just staring at the stage with this ridiculous grin on my face. The show felt like home, and I was SO proud to see Jasmine.

For me, I thought Elephant was going to be the one that broke me but instead, I cried out of sheer happiness. To see a room so full of love, kindness, acceptance, and safety really got to me. It’s awful right now for those of us who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community and it’s extra fucking hard on our trans siblings, and to be in a room for those few hours where how we identify doesn’t mean we are at risk felt like being home. I really hope Jasmine knows exactly what she’s done and keeps doing with her music, because it’s so powerful. It’s beyond music, she’s beyond being a singer.

The set opens with Jasmine and Phoenix stepping up to the stage to play Kitchen, and they then treat us to Bobby (and Alex G cover.) These quiet moments showed just how tender music can be. Jasmine then introduces Eden and Emily to the stage where they rip the venue apart with Guy Fawkes Tesco Dissociation. This live hits you in a way a record cannot touch; it’s also a song I’ve sang/yelled at my cat many a time (I’m so sorry Mary, I do it because I love you.) Skin On Skin and Highfield nearly bloody break me as does Breaking In Reverse, but I kept it together because I was just happy to be in a room so full of love and joy. For me, the tenderness of Roan truly cemented just how gorgeous a musician Jasmine is. It was such a quiet moment, and nobody moved. We all just stood in awe of her. The song is beautiful anyway, but you truly feel how much it means to Jasmine when you see it live.

I think a lot us who went last night will agree that the performance of Woman was one of the most precious moments of the show. Jasmine split the crowd so her gorgeous friend, Bola could dance whilst they sang such a vital song. After the hate and hurt that comes from the UK Supreme Court Ruling (and the world in general being hateful), having the crowd chant “Fuck the Supreme Court” felt GOOD. Another person simply cannot police how you identify. Another person NEVER EVER has the right to make you feel small or make you feel like you should hide who you are. Queer people have ALWAYS been here. Trans people have always been here and they always will be. Non-Binary people have always been here, and we’re going nowhere. I never felt more proud of who I am than I was last night, and feeling secure in that is down to the home I have found in Jasmine’s music.

The band rip through Did U Know (which NEEDS to be recorded) but the set ends with an INSANE cover of Toxicity by System Of A Down. We all know that Jasmine has a delicate voice, but have you heard her properly scream and belt out a song? MY.GOD. I loved Emily’s stagedive during this, and the way she launched herself back onto the stage and play her bass as if nothing happened! Everything was left on the stage last night, and it was an honour to see it. I’m just so proud of Jasmine, and to be there for her sell out homecoming show was just extra special. I feel I could write thousands of words on why this was one of the most important gigs I’ve ever been to, but I think, if you’ve listened to her music- you will really get why it means so much. On record you can feel the emotion, but when you see it live, it feels so different. Songs like Roan live felt different and you could just see the love pour out of Jasmine as she sang this. Everyone on that stage last night (support acts too) gave their all, and in return, they received all the love in the world back.

The setlist I took from the stage last night is now signed, framed, and hangs above my record player in my room. It’s more than a setlist. It’s a sign to keep going and to be proud of who I am. I think aged 38, I’ve finally got there.

Jasmine has just announced another tour for later in the year, so if you missed out this time- you’ve got a second chance. I simply urge you to go see Jasmine live because you will truly know what it means to feel safe and seen. And hopefully there will be more System Of A Down covers.

I cannot write this without mentioning Yulia- Jasmine’s friend. If you follow Jasmine on social media or have been to her shows, you will know who Yulia is and how important she is. She is currently in prison because quite simply, like anyone with common sense, believes in a free Palestine. Please read and support Yulia here: https://www.freeyulia.com/info/ It is a heavy read so please be careful.

jasmine.4.t : You Are The Morning.

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On Friday, one of the most pure and honest records will be released. This is a record that holds so much weight in the most divine way possible. It is vulnerable and vital. It’s a record I wish I had growing up so I could navigate being queer better than I did. I think most of us wish for that and thank god this record exists because it gives so much hope. The hope is in the title of the record. The hope is in all the songs, even the sad songs. I hope anyone who is LGBTQ+ that listens to this record finds a home in it and feels safe and loved. Because you are. You absolutely fucking are- don’t let anyone ever make you feel different.

Passionate rant over. Well, maybe not.

A few months ago, I heard Elephant by jasmine.4.t and my god the way I cried when I heard it. I sobbed. I wasn’t an adult listening to the song. I was a little queer teen who didn’t know what was going on listening to it, and every emotion possible came flying at me. Now, I listen to it with a lot less tears. The tears are reserved for the rest of Jasmine’s debut record. I think if the songs don’t make you cry, then you’ve not given it the attention the record deserves. If the title track (You Are The Morning) doesn’t break you or if Breaking In Reverse don’t make you sob, then god knows what you’ve been listening to!

I’ve played You Are The Morning a number of times, and every listen just gives you so much reassurance and hope. There is so much love on this record, and it represents queer friendship in the most delicate way possible. Jasmine has dedicated the record to queer friendships, and they saved her life. There are moments of love, joy and hope on this record- and given how brutal the world is at the moment, our community need this record more than ever. There’s so much innocence but hints of hurt on the record. Best Friend’s House will ruin you. It defines finding safety and acceptance and just being able to be. That’s all we want- we just want us to be. It’s not even a minute and a half long, but the song is SO powerful. The whole record is powerful, and I hope Jasmine knows just how much of a powerful record she’s made here.

Before I touch on other songs, I want to highlight the importance of the closer, Woman. On this song, Jasmine is backed by the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles, and much like our Jasmine, they use their voice to elevate the trans community. The song defines knowing who you are and being secure, and happy in that. That’s all any of us can hope for. It’s what we all deserve. It’s the perfect way to close the record, and it’s the perfect ending to make you play the record all over again. And again.

I thought I could find words to sum up just how wonderful this record is, but honestly? I don’t think anything anyone writes about this record will do it justice. No words are good enough. You just need to sit and listen to it. I absolutely LOVE Jasmine’s vocals on Guy Fawkes Tesco Dissociation. Her vocals on this are raw. The whole record has a DIY/lo-fi feel to it. And sure, snobs out there will say “THIS ISN’T PUNK!” But they’re idiots. Punk is more than a Ramones record, and they probably would have said the same. It’s going against what’s expected. It’s about not being a sheep or being how everyone wants you to be. It’s about being secure in who you are and being unapologetically yourself amongst other things. At the heart of it, this is a Punk record for the queer community. We need it. My god we need it.

There are so many tender moments on the record, and it really comes alive on New Shoes, which is the oldest song on the record. The song was originally made for Jasmine’s ex-spouse. It touches on problems early on in a relationship but has optimism to it. It’s such a beautiful song, and when the guitar hits with the piano? My god. The goosebumps! Another tender moment is Roan. It’s such a gorgeous song. The whole record is beautiful in every single way.

I’d be utterly foolish to even try tell you what the best song on this record is, I couldn’t do it. I don’t see how anyone could. It’s just an open book, and it’s the purest record I’ve heard in a long time. I honestly don’t think we’ll get anything as fragile as this record again- it’s such a rare record. It’s the kind of honesty that stops you. I’ve tried to listen to the record whilst at work and do whatever I need to do, but my attention goes straight to every word that Jasmine sings. What I’m trying to say is- this isn’t a record you stick on and go about your day. For the first few listens, let the record just totally take over you. Don’t do anything. Just sit and listen to it. Play it to someone who means something to you. Make them listen, and maybe they’ll understand. I’ve got so many thoughts about the record, and I don’t want to be too personal because no one needs to hear my thoughts ha! Not even I want to hear my thoughts most of the time! Elephant and Breaking In Reverse are the ones that really hit me in the gut. They’re the ones I know I’ll lean into the most. God help my cat when the record arrives this week and I blast it out- she’s going to want to leave. Sorry little Mary, you’re getting You Are The Morning on repeat!

I love how the tone of the record is set with the soft opener, Kitchen and that softness stays throughout the whole record right up to the closer, Woman. I feel this is the type of record that, when I listen to it again in say, 6 months time, I’ll still feel this way about it but something new will hit me. I can only liken it to the record by NoSo (Stay Proud Of Me) with how sensitive and joyful it is. There are sad moment, there are joyful moments. It is a masterpiece. A tender masterpiece that gives you so much hope. Skin On Skin is up there with being the most paper-thin songs I’ve ever heard; it’s gorgeous. I love everything this song represents. And it goes right into the hauntingly sensitive Highfield- truly one of the most beautifully created songs we will ever hear.

When Jasmine came out as trans to those close to her, some accepted her. Some didn’t. I will never understand how you cannot accept someone for being who they are, but maybe that’s because I don’t believe in loving someone with conditions. And maybe it’s because I’m lucky to have a very accepting mum. But I’ll never understand how you can turn your back on someone just because they are being themselves. Anyway- it’s THEIR loss. Always.

The record may have stemmed from dark moments in Jasmine’s life, but my goodness she has created something so full of love, full of hope, full of joy and full of light.

I feel I have so much more to say about the record, but I think it’s best to wrap it and mention that Jasmine is a huge supporter of Trans Mutual Aid Manchester. They do amazing work here, and if you want to support them to, please go here. They do brilliant work in our community, and they are a joy to support. Thank you.

*(I think Breaking In Reverse may be song that owns my heart because I’m too sensitive for my own good!)

JASMINE.4.T: Elephant.

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For the past few months or so, I’ve been obsessing over a singer that is based in the city the city that I too, call home. I should have written this months ago, and now I’ve got a list of records I want to write about that’s longer than I intended to have. I’m not one for prioritising things (life is too short for order and structure) but this should have been done months ago. I guess the best time to do it is now. On a Tuesday afternoon as my cat has another nap next to me, occasionally moving when she thinks a bird is flying past.

Jasmine.4.t is everything you could want from a singer/songwriter. She’s honest, relatable and has a beautiful way with words. For the most part, I listen to music that could be loud enough to wake the dead but we all need balance. Jasmine is that balance, and she does it in the purest way possible. She recently supported the equally stunning Tom Rasmussen at their Manchester show last week (I couldn’t go and I feel I will regret this forever) and you can only imagine how beautiful that would have been. Jasmine’s voice is there to comfort anyone, but there’s something else to her beautiful sound that feels like home. Her voice is so delicate, so gentle; you cannot help but feel connected to the words she sings and how she sings. How can someone so wonderful create such beauty? Turns out, pretty easily. Her voice feels like the comfort you need when everything is really heavy. It’s like a protective cloak.

Jasmine’s new song, Elephant was released today and if you listen to it in passing, you’ll just think it’s a really good song. That’s absolutely fine, but if you want the meaning, here you go: “I wrote ‘Elephant’ very early in my transition about my first t4t love. It’s about when it hurts because you’re trying to be friends but you both want to be more. My life in Bristol fell apart when I came out and, having no safe place to live, I was staying on queers’ sofas in Manchester, traumatised and in no place to start a relationship.” When you read that, it changes how you hear the song in the best way. It shows this vulnerability that we may not get often, and I guess that’s why you really feel every word, right? No one should ever feel unsafe, and I think as Queer people, we do find it hard to feel safe and when you find a safe space- you cling onto it. I think that’s why I stay home a lot- my safe space is wherever my cat is. I cried when I played Elephant earlier because it is such a beautiful and honest song. I keep using those two words to describe Jasmine’s music, but I don’t think there are any other words right now I can think of. Initially I was going to write about their music in general, but Elephant is too an important song to not give attention to. There’s light and heaviness on this song, and in Jasmine’s sound in general. The tender moments are to be treasured and the louder moments are there to be truly felt and be turned up. You get a real sense of community in her music, and that feeling doesn’t come around often. It is to be treasured and to be kept close.

The video shows Manchester in all its glory, and why it’s such a beautiful city. Even when it’s pissing it down (all the time, we get it. We hear it all the time!) it’s still the best place, and it’s still home. I’m so happy that Jasmine calls this city home and feels safe here.  It’s important to mention that Jasmine’s band are also trans, and having that support on tour for each of them must be such a relief to know you always have someone there who understands and again, keeps you safe.

Jasmine’s debut record, You Are The Morning will be out 17th January. The last song on the record, Woman sees Jasmine backed by the Trans Chorus of Los Angeles. I reckon that’ll be the song that makes me cry like an absolute baby. If Elephant is anything to go by, I’ll probably weep listening to the whole record anyway! I am SO excited to hear the record and to see what’s next for Jasmine and her band (Phoenix Rousiamanis and Eden O’Brien.) They deserve the world and more.

I also want to mention that Jasmine does a lot of work for/with Trans Mutual Aid Manchester. They’re a grassroots organisation based here, and they do amazing work in the community. If you have a few minutes to spare (which you do, because you’ve read this! Please read up about the work they do and how you can help here: https://linktr.ee/tmamcr )