Yeah, I know I intended to make this a weekly thing….it’s been months. Sorry!

I am useless with money. I get my wages every week, and I am guaranteed to buy at least one thing that is of no use to me. This week, I bought a bike. I know you think it’s not exactly useless. But, I seem to have forgotten how to ride a bike. It’s currently in the back garden. Every time I wander into the kitchen, I stare at the bike and a few insulting words come into my head. I will not be beaten by this damn bike. I’ve been told over and over that you don’t forget how to ride a bike. I guess I’ve just got a shite memory, I think that’s genetic.

So, I’m sitting in my room listening to The Dead Weather. This will not be about Jack White; it will be about Alison Mosshart. A woman who I think is ridiculously under-appreciated and beyond beautiful. If I could look like anyone, it’d be her. She’s just got this “thing” about her that makes her some kind of rick goddess. The way she dresses, the way she sings and the way she throws herself around on stage is, as clichéd as it sounds, is effortlessly cool.

When I saw The Kills live last year, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She had this presence that I’ve never seen in any band or singer before. The band didn’t say much to the crowd, yet both Jamie and Alison had this chemistry on stage that just left me in awe. Midnight Boom was quite frankly the most underrated album of last year. Anyone who didn’t find the video to Last Day Of Magic strangely sexy is silly. They beat each other up! Alison also shoots Jack White to pieces in video to Treat Me Like Your Mother, which again, is sexy. Maybe I’m just weird, but if I was to get beaten up by Alison Mosshart, I’d ignore the pain and love the fact I was getting beaten up by a gorgeous woman. I’m doing myself no favours here at all. I should probably learn how to ride my bike. It’s black and red, it folds up. No idea how I fold or unfold it. One of the peddles is a bit dodgy. I’m scared I’ll be riding it and the bastard will just fold up.

Alison’s voice needs more recognition. Have you heard her when she was in Discount? Check them out; I think some tracks are still up on Last Fm.

In short, Alison Mosshart is sexy. Extremely beautiful. I hate the word “sexy” it’s so tacky isn’t it? I’ve never been called sexy, I don’t expect I ever will. I think there’s something quite creepy about it. I’m not sure what though, and I’ve used it a few times to describe Alison here. Then again, there’s a few people you can describe as being sexy without sounding like a weirdo in a mac eating spam sandwiches (this isn’t me. I don’t own a mac, nor do I eat meat.)

Maybe I’ll learn to ride my bike listening to The Kills. Thing is, I’m sure I’ll just get even more distracted than I usually do and just end up cycling to somewhere unknown and have no idea how to get back home.

I’m aware that this is probably utter nonsense. I’m not going to apologise, I do it all too often. Alison Mosshart should be more appreciated. She and Jamie should also put out a new album, even though it’s only been a year since Midnight Boom was released. The Kills are raw, in an Iggy Pop & The Stooges sense. That’s probably why I adore them so much. Jamie Hince is a killer guitar player, just like Jimmy Shaw from Metric. They both have this intense energy that you can’t take your eyes off. They also make it look so simple. But, when you watch someone do something that they love, of course it looks easy.

Was there any point to this? Probably not, but there’d be no fun it if there was! I now have cramp in my legs from sitting down writing this. Guess I won’t be riding my bike this evening!