The Importance Of Garbage.

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I have probably wrote this article before on my blog, but I just feel the need the show my love and admiration for Shirley Manson again. To be honest, I doubt I will ever stop. Shirley Manson is someone I regard as highly as Patti Smith. Her words, her voice, her beauty- they mean so much. She’s my female Morrissey. Her words have been comfort in my darkest hour. Her words got me through teenage angst onto the frustrations of adulthood. Aged 24, fast approaching 25, her words are still having the same effect on me as they did the first time I heard them.

I remember seeing the video to Only Happy When It Rains on MTV in 1995/1996 and I just sat staring. Legs crossed on the floor and staring at what was in front of me, I was in awe. I was in some kind of trance. I felt hypnotised, and I didn’t want to snap out of it. Since the start, Garbage has been a band I have adored. They were more than likely the first band I felt this connection to. My connection to Morrissey came a few years later.

What is it that I adore about Shirley Manson? More than anything, her strength and honesty. I don’t need to divulge into all she has been through, she’s been open about her past and struggles. Some I can relate to more than I wish to- which is why her lyrics are engraved upon my heart. I have cried my eyes out to The Trick Is To Keep Breathing, I have felt less alone whilst listening to Medication, I have felt hope whilst listening to Run Baby Run and Right Between The Eyes. Every single Garbage album I can associate with a certain time in my life, there’s not many artists I feel this for. Yes, the odd song here and there- but with Garbage, it’s something deeper than that.

The songs about despair, doubt, self loathing, love, pain, hate, hurt- every single feeling that is humanly possible to feel, one feels from listening to Garbage.

Of course I sound like a lunatic- but I can assure you, I am a friendly and loving one. I, along with many others, probably feel the band isn’t given the credit and respect that they well and truly deserve. Duke, Steve and Butch are fantastic musicians. Utterly fantastic. Shirley, in my eyes, is one of the best front-women ever. She’s on a par with Debbie Harry, Patti Smith- all the greats, she is up there.

Just after Bleed Like Me was released they announced a tour. My mum got me tickets as a birthday present to see them in Edinburgh. I knew it would be the concert that would change my life. I’d cry at every song. I’d sing every single line back at them as if my life depended on it.

The tour was cancelled. My heart broke and I wept. I had been waiting since 1995 for this moment. It never happened. I still cling on with dear life that a new album and tour will happen. I have that much faith. It has to happen.

I remember the day Bleed Like Me was released. I was in college and I skipped my afternoon lessons that Monday so I could go buy the album. I went to HMV and on the bus journey home I flicked through the booklet and studied it intensely. I got off the bus the stop before my house so I could go buy a can of pop at the shop. As I got off the bus, who did I see? MY MUM GETTING ON THE BUS. She grilled me in loving way, “Why aren’t you at college Olivia?” My reply was, so casually, “It’s Key Skills…I don’t need that for uni besides- Garbage album is out.” She shook her head, smiled and kissed my forehead and got on the bus. My mum knows what music is to me. She knows what Garbage are to me. I suppose anyone else’s mum would drag them back to college and take the CD off them- even worse, make them take it back to the shop. Not my mum, not at all. She just understood.

So I walked home and gave Bleed Like Me all my attention. I played it on my CD player and just lay on my bed playing it over and over. Every single song just took over my soul. I think I had a break down listening to Metal Heart, It’s All Over But The Crying and Happy Home. Happy Home is one of the most euphoric songs by Garbage. The intensely dark build up just blows my mind and takes over me. That’s how I feel whenever I listen to Garbage that something takes over. like I am being told, “It’s going to be alright.” Their music just gives me this blanket of comfort I’ve never found in a human being- much like Morrissey’s music.

Maybe I’m a loser for never finding this in a person. Or maybe I’m just sick of the hurt I see people cause each other that I choose to lose but find myself in music. I like to think it’s the latter.

I don’t wish to sound like Garbage are a band I only associate negative parts of my life to. Far from it. So far from it. If anything they made everything alright and brought me back from the brink when I couldn’t take anymore. I still use The Trick Is To Keep Breathing and Run Baby Run to make myself feel alright when everything goes to shit, and yes- it happens more times than I like it to. But, I am human and I have feelings just like anyone else does. Maybe I have too many, but I wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for them. I also wouldn’t be the person I am if I didn’t look up to strong women such as Shirley Manson and my mum.

There will never ever come a time where Garbage aren’t relevant to my life. There will never ever come a time where their music doesn’t influence me or make me feel something I didn’t know I could feel. Beautifulgarbage tugged at my heartstrings and felt like a massive trip into the unknown (I don’t mean in a drug sense, I’ve never done drugs so I wouldn’t know.) Version 2.0 and Garbage were my emotional crutch for so long and still probably are. Bleed Like Me taught me to be okay with the bad parts of me because I’m only human.

I just don’t know where I’d be without them. Everyone has one or two bands that saved their soul and gave them courage. For me, it’s Morrissey and Garbage.

Marina And The Diamonds.

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Lyrics are a huge thing for me. Most of the bands and singers I love are brilliant lyricists. I don’t need to name names, it’s fairly obvious.Pop music is so dreary and plain isn’t it. There is a severe lack of substance. Or is the whole point of pop music to be this empty genre that requires no thought?

Well, pop music is seen as commercial nonsense by some. Most would accuse me of hating anything mainstream. This isn’t true. I just don’t like music that doesn’t have any depth. I don’t like music that doesn’t mean something to me. Most of the music I listen to is the kind of thing you’ll never hear on Radio 1. I’m alright with that because I don’t listen to Radio 1. Frequently I am called a whole bunch of bad things just because I have an opinion and have a dislike for mainstream music.

Now, I love Florence and I love Ellie Goulding- both are played on Radio 1, so I assume that makes them mainstream? Big deal. I like what I like. Regardless of genre. I love TLC, I love Captain Beefheart, I love Morrissey, I love Ramones. I just love music. Anyway, I’ll go about what the point of this piece.

They tell you to never meet your heroes. They say they will fill you with disappointment and not be what you want. Hark in the general direction of the person who said that.Last year I met Marina Diamandis. I also met a brilliant bunch of people too. I can honestly say Marina has the best fans ever. She truly does. They are loyal, beautiful and just good people.

Meeting her and telling her what I needed to say about a specific song to her was one of the bravest things I’ve ever done. That either makes me a coward or just a nutter. Probably both. I’ll admit to being a coward, we all are deep down. But I did it. I told her exactly what Guilty means to me. I can also say she gives amazing hugs. Creepy fan vibe aside, I’m going to tell you why her music is flawless and just wonderful.

I first heard her music late 2008/early 2009. I was just enthralled by what I heard. Finally a female singer touching on subjects that were yet to be touched on in such a manner.

I heard I Am Not A Robot at a time of my life that I can only describe as “shite.” There’s no other way I can word it. Hearing that song gave me the strength to be weak and show how awful I felt. I only showed it to a select few. “But inside you’re just a baby.” Really struck a chord with me, as did the whole song. I could pick so many lines out of that song that just hit me in the belly and made me cry- but the whole song, still to this day makes me feel something no other song has. “Better to be hated, than loved loved loved for what you’re not” is quite simply the most accurate and honest line I have heard in a contempary pop song in a long time. The sheer honesty in that line would crack the hardest of hearts.

Obsessions is another that just blew my mind when I heard it. Everyone has had that frustration with someone. When you hold them, you just feel so sad and empty. You look at them and you feel nothing good. We’ve all been there, and you obsess over your bad feelings towards them- you forget that you love them.

The Family Jewels is easily one of the best debut albums to have been released in a long time. What makes Marina stand out are her lyrics. Her lyrics are so true to life, even Porn Is Good For The Soul is up there. The humour, honesty and darkness in her lyrics are just everything to me. Her wit and darkness in her music reminds me of Morrissey, I suppose that’s another reason as to why I love her

Songs such as Seventeen, Are You Satisfied, Oh No and The Outsider show how it’s okay to dislike yourself at times and have insecurities. That’s exactly why Marina appeals to me. She vocalises having insecurities in a way that no other really has in a long time. There is something so utterly precious about how she words things, and it makes you feel less alone. Music is a comfort blanket for me- her music is that for me a lot of the time.

A bloody good friend of mine once said that Oh No was written about me. He’s not wrong at all. When I first heard it, my jaw dropped and I was in awe of the lyrics.

“Don’t need a relationship, I’ll never soften my grip” I feel this so much most of the time. How I feel condensed into one small line. I’ll never soften my grip, what’s the point? This doesn’t mean I don’t have it in me to love someone because I do, I really do

I didn’t want to make this so personal, but it’s 1.20am and I am tired. When I am tired I ramble. Guilty, Numb and Rootless are the three songs I feel this strong connection to. For the most part, it’s quite overwhelming.

“This better be worth my while.” I feel like this on a daily basis with most things that happen. I just sigh and have this one line play over and over in my mind. The whole chorus to Numb is just this wave of comfort. It’s okay to feel numb, it’s okay to sacrifice things to get to where you want and need to be.

I don’t want to do this, but I feel the need to go into why I love Guilty- but not too in depth.

Guilty for me, just evokes everything I felt and attempted to push aside about my dad. I have no idea what Marina’s relationship is with her dad. I suppose you can make your own assumptions based on the songs she mentions him in. I never felt any love from mine- only he knows how he feels about me. But he’s dead, so I will never know. I’d rather not know than be told something that could hurt me more than it needs to. “I was just a kid that you could not forgive because it’s harder. I was just a kid and all I really wanted was my father.” When I saw this live I just crumbled, I was a mess inside. Meeting her afterwards and telling her, I just cannot put it into words what it means to me. I just told her I was utterly grateful for the song. I don’t want to say what she said- or what my exact words. Too personal. All that matters is that I got it out.

I may sound like some 24 year old obsessive idiot, but the truth is- Marina’s music means more to me than I could actually put into words. Her fans are gentle souls. Marina is just one of the best singers/songwriters/performers that this country has. She truly is a diamond- sorry for the poor pun, but its 1.40am and that’s as good as I’m going to get, or you’re going to get. I just love how she says what she feels without having to justify it to anyone. I admire that in anyone. Even if I don’t like you, I’ll admire your courage. I do it all the time, but I’m frequently shot down, I’ve gone past caring.

In over 1000 words I have rambled about my love for Marina, I think I can go to bed now.

Warpaint- Lissie’s Heart Murmur.

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“On the edge of the water where the ships pass by,
And the sound of your laughter in the endless sky.
Tips my head back, full of swimming thoughts,
Beneath deep breathing that sinks so far down.”

Such a beautiful verse. The way Emily sings this over the piano is enough to make the strongest person in the universe have a bit of a cry. When I first played The Fool, this was the song that I felt this weird connection to. I felt like something had gripped me and launched me somewhere. I cannot describe where.  Then I played the album again and again- and every single song began to have exactly the same effect on me. Whenever I go out, I always seem to play The Fool and I pay attention to nothing. I’ve probably nearly been run over a few times due to putting all my thoughts and concentration goes into what I am hearing. I find new parts of songs to fall in love with every single time I listen to Warpaint.

Lissie’s Heart Murmur has this delicate yet euphoric build up. Certain words that Emily sings just really hit you. I get feelings of loss, uncertainty, love, release and such from listening to this song. It’s just so beautiful. It sounds slightly like a lullaby, so comforting to listen to when you cannot sleep at 4am and it’s raining outside.  When it’s just Emily’s voice and the piano it sounds so angelic and pure. You feel like you are floating and nothing can touch you. That is, essentially the beauty of Warpaint. You just feel free, fearless and care free when you listen to them. For me, that’s the most powerful and amazing thing any band or artist can do.

Zola Jesus.

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Around 2 years ago, a singer was brought to my attention. With most music I listen to- I discovered her music by accident at some unholy hour due to having an awful sleep pattern. By awful, I mean I don’t sleep. I should probably ease off the daytime naps I suppose.

Anyway, the voice in question is Nika Roza Danilova aka Zola Jesus. She’s only 22 years old, and when you listen to her music you cannot believe how young she is. I feel like her mum saying this- I’m only 3 years older!

I love her music so much because it is so dark, atmospheric and extremely intense. These are things that I look for in an artist. I love anything dark and intense, explains a lot- I know, I know.

I remember when I purchased Stridulum II; I came home and played it whilst cooking. I was so close to burning myself as I was giving all my attention to the music. I was utterly enthralled in the sounds I was being exposed to. I hadn’t heard anything like this in such a long time. I had heard her previous work, but this album really got me. There is something about it that just grips you and posses you like some kind of beast. Yet you cannot run from it. Her music is like being chased through a desolate forest in the rain- it’s terrifying but you don’t want it stop. I mean, obviously I’d hate to be chased through a forest. I’d probably trip up within seconds and head-butt a tree. Classy, I know.

Her music has such a dark vibe, and with some artists it’s can be quite exhausting to hear. Not with Nika. Her voice has an operatic tone mixed with darkness, it is truly wonderful.

Night is one of my favourites. It is like a comfort blanket. There are quite a few times where I’ve felt pretty shite and I’ve played her album- and all seems okay again. So, just because there’s an intense sound, it doesn’t mean her music will drag you down. Oh so far from it. Her voice will make you feel about 60 feet tall. Her music will make you feel like you can do anything and face anything. It’s so comforting. The ambience on Run Me Out is extremely saddening. You can feel just how frustrated she is- but there is this one person just exhausting her. “You know that I’m tired, you know that I’m ill.” It’s quite painful to hear this. We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt emotionally exhausted yet this one person continues to take and take from you- they just run you out of emotions.

Trust Me is another that feels like a comfort blanket. When you listen to it, it feels like a wave of reassurance coming over you. It is that powerful. It is that precious.

In interviews, she has stated she likes to listen to artists that stand out. She surely does that herself. Her voice, for her age, is extremely powerful and it just captures you. It holds you in a grip. When you listen to her, you cannot help but think “Where have you been all my life?” Her music makes you want to listen to nobody else but her ever again. I’ve spent weeks previously just listening to her music, and only hers. After hearing her music you cannot accept that anything else will be as amazing as hers. It’s like being caught in such a wonderful moment that you know nothing and no one will ever replace.

Yes her music is the kind you’ll never hear in a nightclub or in Asda as you do your weekly shop. It’s not the kind of music you play whilst getting ready to go out with mates. The only way you can truly capture the intensity of the music is by dimming the lights and listening to her on your own. There’s no other way. sheer silence and solitude is the only way you can fully appreciate her music. No interruptions. Just you and her music.

Her highly anticipated (especially by me) third album is out in the UK in September. I am holding out for a tour. I can imagine her live shows to be the most euphoric and intense experience ever. I’d imagine leaving one of her gigs feeling that a lost part of me had been found. I cannot explain it. It’s just, when a piece of music means that much to you and you witness it in a live environment- it means more. It does something to your soul and causes your heart to beat double time. That’s what live music does for me most of the time. Certain artists in particular have done this to me. I imagine Zola Jesus would do this to me.

I must add before I wrap this up, that you listen to her music with LA Vampires and as the act Nika + Rory. It is just as atmospheric and haunting. If she is creating music as amazing as this now- in ten years time, I can only hope she’ll be regarded in the same light as those such as Bjork and PJ Harvey.

I’m fully aware I sound like a mental obsessive fan, but it pains me that artists such as Zola Jesus are overlooked yet certain ones are rammed into our ears and we are forced to “enjoy” them and buy their music. No thanks. You stick to your meaningless, empty sounds- and I’ll stick to my intense, meaningful music.

Hopefully this year will put Zola Jesus where she rightfully deserves to be, or maybe yet again people will ignore this absolutely beautiful human being with voice of an angel. Who knows. All I know, is come September I will be in the possession of one of the best albums of this year.

Why I Adore Warpaint.

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It’s no secret that I am in total love with Warpaint. From the way they play to reading their interviews. I just find them utterly fascinating and a band that I hope, will influence others (especially females) to pick up an instrument and start a band. They make me want to start a band, but alas, I am not musically gifted. I’ll stick to writing songs that nobody will ever see (or needs to see for that matter.)

Although my love for Emily, Stella, Jenny and Theresa doesn’t need justifying- it’s an excuse to link you to a few videos that just make me love them more than one probably should.

I love this clip of Stars so much. I think Theresa’s voice here is stunning, and Stella’s drumming as usual blows my mind.

The jam at the end of this is brilliant. I think it’s probably my favourite performance of Undertow. When I first heard this song I think a whole world of nonsense just filled my head. I couldn’t believe something so perfect could be created. I love EVERYTHING about this song. I love the way each instrument is so played so clearly. I love Emily’s vocals on this. I could probably write thousands of words as to why this song is one of the greatest things I have ever heard. I won’t. Not yet anyway….I must add, my favourite part is when Emily sings “I went running running running running” and Jenny comes in and harmonises. I think it’s gorgeous.

This is the most beautiful song off The Fool. It’s so simple but powerful By powerful- I mean the lyrics hit you in the gut. “Don’t you call anybody else baby, ’cause I’m your baby still.” It is impossible to hear this song without thinking of someone you don’t want to think about. However, I can fortunately listen to it and have no emotional connection to it anymore. I think if I let a person get close enough to ruin Warpaint for me, I’d be a mess! This song is so moving. This and Stars are the two songs I play when I can’t sleep. They just ease me into sleep and off into a dream. Beautiful.

When I interviewed Theresa, I told her this was my favourite song off the album. There’s something about this which everyone can relate to. You know what it’s like- you have something, you think you want and need it- then you think about it, and it’s not for you. It’s just not right. Everyone has felt like that at some point. “When it all falls into place, could it be that I don’t want it anyway. Could it be as sad as that.” The sheer honesty and directness of this feeling here is overwhelming. I love this version of it. Acoustic Warpaint is always wonderful.

The intro to this is out of this world, then Emily’s haunting voice kicks in, “I’ll break your heart….” I adore this song SO much. Whatever I write about this does not do the song justice. Again, like Undertow- I could write thousands of words about this song. I’m sure the song speaks for itself. It’s brilliant.

This song feels like a monster emerging from water. It has this grip over you as soon as you hear it. Everything about it is amazing. I love how each band member shines here. It’s a personal favourite.

I feel this song and Lissie’s Heart Murmur are highly underrated. The atmosphere these two songs create is inexplainable. You just have to lay down, close your eyes and truly listen. Cut the world off, and fall into your own.

Is there really a more peaceful song? I don’t think so. The vocals here are perfect. The song is perfect. Also, naming the song after one of the greatest singers ever is a plus too. It’s truly truly wonderful.

This is a beast of a song. It is so heavy, dark, cryptic and just everything I want in a song. You can totally lose yourself in this song. Nothing else really matters. Just play it and lose your mind. You’ll feel better. Then have a glass of water afterwards- you’ll probably need it.

I think I’ve exhausted most of their amazing live performances. However, there is one performance by Warpaint that I will always remember where I was when I saw it. I will remember watching it, mouth open and in awe of the performance. In awe of the talent- especially Stella using a studio prop (a box) as a drum. I think that performance showed them to be passionate performers that needed you to allow them to take you in. To take you into this magical, mystical world of Warpaint. It’s been over 2 years since they did that to me- I never want out. Ever. So, the final video is Warpaint performing Undertow acoustically at Reading from 2010.

On the off-chance that Stella, Emily, Theresa and Jenny should see this- thank you. Just thank you for creating something a music lover like myself can believe in.

 


 

 

 

The Horrors- Still Life(Video.)

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Skying is FINALLY released on Monday. I’m looking forward to nipping down to my local record shop and buying it. When I have sufficient funds/can justify it, I’ll purchase it on vinyl too. The Horrors music probably sounds even better on vinyl.

Anyway, here’s the video to their new single Still Life. Personally, I feel it has the same vibe as Mirrors Image- which is, of course a brilliant thing. I could go on and on about my love for Tom,Rhys,Joe,Faris and Josh- but it’s fairly obvious isn’t it.

They are a band that this country should be proud of. They are truly amazing.

Is Anyone Worthy Of Looking Up To?

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If there’s one thing that irks me mire than anything- its people overlooking those who deserve respect and admiration. It annoys me when artists that are ever so bland and recycled are held up so high- that we are forced to idolise them. At aged 24 fast approaching 25, I can see right through these people those younger than me are forced to look up to. Even when I was in my teens, I always looked up those nobody really cared for. I suppose I felt some kind of connection. You know, being the odd one out etc.

So, Gaga frequently says she is FOR THE GAYS. Gay men, but not lesbians it seems. She declares she is for the freaks. Am I missing the point, or is she claiming us gays to be freaks? Call me a freak all you want, but I’m not the one going on about a disco-stick or wearing a meat dress. My mum used to play a lot of kd lang around the house. Constant Craving was one of my favourite songs when I was younger- it still is. Her voice is so powerful but at the same time, extremely delicate. She doesn’t use her sexuality to sell records. She doesn’t bang on and on about being a lesbian to sell records. She doesn’t go on about doing it for the gays. She does her job- she sings, she performs, and she entertains.

Obviously I understand that when you are launched into the public eye you are given this unwanted responsibility to be a role model. One person who I feel should be looked upon more than anyone else is- a family member. The one you are closest to. That’s the first person you should look up to. For me, I’d take looking up to my mum more than anyone else in the world. She raised me on her own, she is constantly there for me, her wise words make me feel less useless and her humour gets me through the day. The bond I have with her is one I know I could never ever live without. She’s not just my mum- she’s my rock and best friend. She’s pretty much everything to me.

There are so many people I admire in music and in literature- they have created work that just blows my mind and makes me wish I could create something so powerful and inspiring. I hope one day I write something that will make someone feel how Morrissey and Patti Smith make me feel with their words. However, I’m not a genius so this is just another empty aspiration of mine.

So, what kind of person should we look up to? Should it be someone who sells millions of records? Should it be someone who promotes hair products? Someone who mimes on stage? Someone who sings about being the only girl in the world? Someone who creates a false reality for others to foolishly attempt to follow in? Personally, none of these reasons are as to why I would look up to someone. I admire those who have struggled on the way to the top. Someone who doesn’t sell out. Someone who stays true to them and doesn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. Someone that isn’t a gimmick. This is why I look up to those such as Morrissey, Patti, Lester Bangs, The Kills, Hunter S Thompson- I could list others, but these are the main ones. Those who have been around long enough (or were) to create something memorable. Their art is something I hold very dear to me.

Morrissey’s words, the way Lester put all his passion into a review, the way The Kills play- it’s just all so inspiring. Words are a huge thing for me with music. I love lyrics. Words are the most beautiful thing in the world. The way things are said and sung can instantly change how you think and feel. See, I cannot feel any connection at all with Gaga’s lyrics to Born This Way at all. I feel nothing towards her music. Give me a song by The Kills, and I will feel something I cannot put into words. For instance, when I hear Alison sing on The Last Goodbye, “Can’t quite see the end. How can I rely on my heart if I break it, with my own two hands.” It just rips me apart inside but at the same time this wave of comfort takes over because it feels like someone understands. Never rely on your heart, it’ll crush you.

Then I listen to Warpaint and I feel like I am being thrown into some kind of magical whirlwind. Music is the best way to escape. Warpaint’s music has done this to me for the past 2 and a bit years. Their sound catapults me elsewhere. Everything I want a piece of music to make me feel- theirs does. As for Morrissey? What can I say. That man is a life saver. He gives one hope in a hopeless world. I’m not the only one who feels this way about him. His fans are so passionate and loyal. I think if you like Morrissey- that’s it for life. You love him no matter what. He’s not really someone you can enjoy just the odd song of. You love him with all you have, and even then it doesn’t feel enough. His live shows reignite your soul and give you something to hold onto. The times I have seen him, as soon as he walks on stage the tears just fall. No other artist has ever done this, or will do it. Why? Well, the just don’t mean as much as he does.

I pretty much grew up on Morrissey and Bob Dylan (told you I’ve got the best mum in the world) and I think that’s what instilled my love for words and how they are presented in various forms. I am not saying looking up to someone like Rihanna is wrong. Well, I personally wouldn’t because I don’t feel any connection to her music nor do I think she’s done something worth looking up to. Neither do I think Gaga is worthy- but sadly, millions do. If I have to look up to someone, I want it to be someone who has been around long enough to leave a mark.

Patti Smith. Where does one begin when talking about this beautiful human being? She is the Godmother of Punk. Punk for me is one of the most important genres ever. The rawness and sheer honesty in this genre is ever so vital. Most say you had to be there to appreciate it- maybe that’s the case. But I understand the frustration and rage these people felt- because I feel it most days. There is something better, and you can’t get out because nobody will give you a break. I’ve got a degree and over 4 and a half years worth of experience with freelancing. Does anyone want to know? Do they bollocks. Do they want to pay me to write for them? Not at all. But I love writing and music too much to give it up. That is why I love Patti Smith and The Kills amongst others. They’ve come from nothing and they have created something so beautiful. They have created art that just leaves you wondering, covered in goose bumps, in awe of what they have done. That is something worth looking up to.

I’m not one for using my sexuality at all as a way to define who I am. I personally feel me being a lesbian to be something that doesn’t define who I am at all. It’s not important to me. However, I feel that there is a distinctive lack of lesbian representation within music (and other art forms.) When a lesbian is played in a TV role- she always seems to be quite butch and/or emotionally damaged. Trust me; we are not all like that. Do the media care for this? It seems like it doesn’t. A lot are portrayed as woman who cannot commit. It does nothing for the lesbian community. Then you have the music side. Elton John and George Michael- two highly successful gay artists. Who do lesbians have? Kd lang isn’t as “commercially” known as those two. Holly Miranda isn’t as big as she deserves to be (her voice is gorgeous, give her a listen.) The Organ was one of the best bands ever- they split up a few years ago, but their album Grab That Gun is amazing. Obviously a musician- or anyone should not be defined by their sexuality.

But sometimes the community want a voice. A voice that can be trusted. Gaga isn’t a lesbian- so how could she possibly know what it’s like to be a lesbian? If anything, she seems to be like some kind of massive “fag hag.” A phrase that I detest so much. I find it highly offensive and I have no idea why someone would want to call themselves that. Yes, I understand why people admire her- but let’s be honest, she’s not doing anything that hasn’t been done before. Before her- we had Madonna, and before Madonna- the beautiful Grace Jones. Nothing is different anymore. If you want to look up to someone- look up to those who have done it before, and before them. Everything seems to be a carbon copy.

Being an individual isn’t about throwing glitter on your face and yelling you are a free bitch. Being an individual isn’t about embracing who you are- that should be automatic. Someone shouldn’t have to tell you to accept yourself. It’s your skin and your bones- you are the one who has to accept it without being told.

Look up to whoever you want- but make sure in 20 years time, it is someone you’re not ashamed of doing so.