Everything lovely in life has a darkness underneath it. The most frail of voices have a big, creepy sound underneath it. Every good-looking person has a less fortunate looking person after them (beauty and the beast..I’m the beast. Who’s with me?! No? Alright then.) Look, I don’t know where these words are coming from. I don’t even know why I am writing them. I guess it’s because in person, I have not much to say. However, shit like this- I can have as many ramblings as I can physically handle. My mind is telling me to stop. My body is all “KEEP FUCKING TYPING ASSHOLE.” So type I will. I think the music I am listening to is encouraging me too. Just so you know, I’m not on drugs. Not unless you class a cup of tea as a drug. Anyway. My only habit in life is napping. And other things. Nothing too wild. I’ll learn to be outrageous one day. Until then, I’m going to just do this. As ever.
Religious Knives.
Here’s the thing. I really love them. My love for them is just going to leave me in awe. They remind of The Jesus And Mary Chain meets The Organ.
I love the fuzzy reverb sound. I love the distorted bass. I love how all of this makes me feel. Like it is okay to feel like a massive fuck-up but still have the ability to smile about it. There’s a hint of Nick Cave in this too. I’m in love. I’m in love hard right now with this band. They make me feel like I am witnessing a murder scene in a really horrific film. The music they create is so graphic. Every ugly feeling you could possibly imagine feeling comes out to play. Your demons are coming back, baby. You’ve got nowhere to run to. This is overwhelming. This is powerful. This is the war inside your head that you try to shut up. Sometimes, you’ve got to let it overrule you. Just let it happen. There’s no harm in it. Put your headphones in, let the Devil out.
It’s a train wreck. It is a mess. It is an ugly and intense feeling. I am falling in love for a band that are fast becoming everything I want to be part of. And I’m not someone who likes to be part of something. I think my main obsession for Religious Knives has to be the drums. They sound tribal. You mix that with menacing guitars and a fucking incredible vocal- well it’s really no wonder as to why I love them. I can love a piece of music with no problem. A person however? Cautious and careful.
I wish I could fully let out how I feel about this band. Instead I just sound like a babbling buffoon who knows nothing about nothing. That’s probably the case, but I just really dig this band.
Something tells me that their live shows would be like a really intense Halloween party. Pretty sure I’d have a good time witnessing that.
If you love the menacing sounds of The Jesus And Mary Chain, the intense feels of Nick Cave- then Religious Knives need to be a band you cling onto. Do it. Hold on.
Oh, and you can add them to the list of “Amazing bands to come from Brooklyn.” Seriously BK, you’re going to have to tame it soon. I don’t know if I can handle how brilliant you are.
“Something there is about you that moves with style and grace, I was in a whirlwind, now I am in some better place. My hand’s on the sabre and you’ve picked up on the baton, Something there is about you that I can’t quite put my finger on.”
71 years ago, a hero was born. At the time he wasn’t a hero, but he fast became one. Bobby, you are everything and more to me. I know of a couple of fans of him, I know more who do not like them. Let it go, I let it go. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion- but don’t say you don’t like someone if you’ve never heard it. Better yet, don’t say you hate Bobby when you have never listened to Blonde On Blonde. I treat that record like I’d treat a kitten. With care and love. I listen with tenderness and caution.
As you know (or maybe you don’t) Bob Dylan was my mum’s obsession growing up. So, she passed that obsession onto me. For as long as I can remember his music was always played in the house. Being rocked to sleep in her arms as she sang Forever Young. Watching the video to Subterranean Homesick Blues and being told, “Watch him Liv. Just watch him.” And watch him I did. I was in awe of his posture, his waistcoat and his words. Everything about him turned my world upside down and back again. Sort of like when you fall for someone completely unaware. It’s a bitch, but it is also enjoyable. If it goes your way. Personally? It never does. It’s okay, I’ve got music. When I was at Uni and until I lived on my own until ate last year, I had section of my wall just dedicated to him. I’m not ashamed at all. As soon as I get myself sorted, it will be up once more!
For Morrissey, I had to do that silly open letter (I’m sorry if you read it) but for Bobby, I just want to let out what his music means to me. No letter, just..an expression of sorts.
Bobby taught me how to care for everything around me. The unfairness and the equality. Tread carefully, but use your tongue as wisely as possible. He taught me about sufferings past, present and those that were to come. There’s a handful of singers that made me aware of words. Not just how you write them down, but how you say them. I have always had a weakness for the Bobby pronounces his words. Certain words, all words- just everything Bobby stood for, I stood for too. Of course I am too young to have been aware of him from the start. But he was there since I was born. He’s always been a constant in my life. I really wouldn’t be as in love with poetry as I am if it wasn’t for Bobby. I used to read his lyrics as poems to truly feel and understand every single word. I still stand by Hurricane being one of the greatest things he has ever written. The songs about love and the ending of love always mean a lot to me. Don’t Think Twice (It’s Alright) is a song I can associate with one or two. It’s the perfect song to connect a fading love to.
Like A Rolling Stone was a song I played religiously it seemed towards the end of my time at University. That was an awful time. So, I did what any music obsessive would do- I had Like A Rolling Stone tattooed on the back of my neck. It was the second tattoo I had done, it was by no means my last. This song just made me feel less alone with not knowing what was going on. When he sings, “No direction home”I just feel as if it was written for me. That specific line. I’ve never really had a home, and I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. I guess it is why I get frustrated that I cannot settle. That line means more to me than most, I wouldn’t be surprised if I ever got that tattooed on me to be honest.
Bobby’s music was always used as a lullaby. I never had an issue with sleeping. The main problem I think was, I just fought it. I would be tired, but I’d stay awake and act as if I couldn’t sleep just so I could hear certain songs to help me sleep. Eventually, my mum caught on to what I was doing and just used to put me to bed with music playing anyway.
I don’t bang on about my political views at all (I’m not religious, but I believe everyone is entitled to their own views and shouldn’t be told they are wrong. HOWEVER, I hate racists and would like to see an end to certain political “parties.”) But Bobby made me socially aware, it of course became more dominant when I was at Uni. Don’t worry, I never went on a protest or anything because I wanted to be seen or to be a typical student. Far from it. Start your own movements, in your own way. I think speaking up to a person one on one when something is wrong is just as powerful (if not more) than chanting up and down a street. Again, that’s just how I see it and I’ll probably be told I am wrong. It’s cool, if it makes you feel better..crack on love.
Bobby is like that cup of tea on a really cold day. His words warm your soul. He soothes your insides. Like whiskey, he is an acquired taste. I fully understand that. Bobby fans are hard to find. We’re a gentle bunch, so be kind to us. We’ll be kind to you.
So many times I have heated conversations with my mum about the best Bob Dylan record. She never understood how much I loved Blonde On Blonde until a few years ago. I remember getting a text it read, “I fully get why you love it. It’s his best work x” I firmly believe it is. Thing is, I even love his Christmas records, and I hate Christmas songs. I do a good Bob Dylan impression, but I will only demonstrate if I feel comfortable with you. And as I don’t feel that too great around most, I rarely do it. I’m such a tease aren’t I. In the most non-sexy way possible.
I could never pick my favourite Bobby song. I have such love for I Want You,It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Bleeding), Maggie’s Farm, Positively 4th Street. There are hundreds more that I just adore. Positively 4th Street is the perfect, “Fuck you..I know what you’re like and I don’t want you around no more” kind of song. Bobby can make you fall in love and make you cut things out of your life all in one go.
Aged 71 years young today, he is still one of the most influential singers of all time. Some may still call him out as “Judas” others know that he is just easily the greatest. For me, he’s everything. Just everything. A saviour and a friend. His words mean more to me that I can put into words. The love I have for him goes beyond description. That’s when you know it is love, and how you know it is forever. No words are enough.
“Split me open, with devotion. You put your hands in, and rip my heart out. Eat the music.”
Writing this is going to give me a headache. I know I get a headache most days, but this will probably cause me to want to lob the computer outside, and watch it smash into pieces. As I feel my face melt and my head pound. This isn’t the general feeling I get from listening to Kate Bush. I listen to her, and I feel okay. There’s just one song that, if you ever want to see me cry- play it. I will cry like a baby because over the past year and a half or so..it has summed up a lot. So I do my best to avoid it. I’m good at avoiding things. You see, I even put off writing this for some time because I’m not good enough a writer to even do this. I know my limits. I don’t need to be pushed into doing something, more like a bloody forceful shove. Unless whiskey is involved, then I’ll just do it anyway.
Where does a person start when writing about Kate Bush? It’s like trying to list the qualities you love about someone isn’t it? You just don’t know where to start so you just say “everything” because it is the truth. As you know, I don’t write in a way that removes myself from whatever it is I am writing about. I stupidly get personal about it all, leaving myself open and god knows what else to the person reading it. However, I am confident nobody will see this so I am okay with it. The other night when I wrote that open letter to Morrissey, what was I thinking!? Writing about Kate Bush is something I know I have needed to do for some time. Like anyone with good parents, I was raised on her music. I think I even made my mum dance like her so I’d go to sleep. I have never ever been able to sing the correct words to Babooshka. Never have, never will. I just sing whatever comes into my head. And for the most part, it is sheer nonsense. To be honest, what goes on in my head is mostly nonsense. Organised chaos.
I love voices that have a drawl to it. Voices that sound a bit rough, gnarly and raw. Voices that many would probably regard as “what in the fuckering is that?!” The stranger, the better. Kate’s voice is far from this. Sure it is strange, mainly because no other female singer has that power. Sure they may say they are influenced by her. Some go as far to just rip her off. I won’t name names, I’m not like that (and mainly because I’m still half asleep so I have no idea.) But you can see over time, who has basically just tried to be like her. Then again, you have some who are so wonderfully influenced by her. There’s a fine line between copying and being influenced isn’t there.
I’ll just declare it now shall I? The Kick Inside is probably THE greatest debut records of all time. Alright, one of the. I have a lot of emotional value held towards New York Dolls debut and a few others, but I’d put it in my top 5 for sure. I’ve always been obsessed with the artwork of this record. I have no idea why, I am always drawn to things I cannot explain. Her vocals on L’Amour Looks Something Like You si my favourite off the record, and in all honesty it is probably my favourite Kate Bush song. I love her vocals so much. I think I used to be terrified of Kate Bush for a while. Then I realised, “She’s bloody mental..look at her moves. I love her!” The fear didn’t last long at all. If I’m scared of something, I usually end up enjoying it after a while. I don’t question how my mind works anymore. It’s a sexy record isn’t it.
I keep thinking of things to write down, and just losing the ability to put it into a sentence. About that headache…
I think for me, personally, the reason as to why I just love her (its pure love) is because her songs are about subject matters singers around now wouldn’t dare touch on. It’s like now, if you have an opinion- keep it to yourself. Bullshit. So long as you’re not being a racist/homophobic cunt or being a twat towards those who have a disability-say something. If you’re going to be a judgemental prick basically, shut the frig up. Anything else, carry on kidda.
She’s written songs that touch on an incestuous pregnancy to a woman’s obsession with a young lad that could be seen as borderline, paedo-ish. As it is Kate, you don’t mind. She takes you far into a different world with her hypnotising voice, and moves- that the subject matter isn’t really a big deal. She just makes you escape in the purest way. You honestly cannot compare what she does to you to anything else.
This Christmas just passed, I was working at HMV (one of the best jobs ever, serious) and this man came up to me and said “Where will I find Kate Bush?” Obviously I thought, “Probably at home” was the best response, and I said it. He laughed. He laughed hard, so I couldn’t walk away. Not that I would. So I took him to the section, and he said “There’s two new ones aren’t there.” So I handed him 50 Words For Snow. I told him about it. I told him everything he should feel whilst listening to it. I told him that it makes the fact that she rarely releases anything now less painful because it is a truly beautiful record. I remember word for word what he said to me (see, I sometimes remember nice things people tell me) and he said, “From the passion in your voice and how your face just lights up-I am going to buy this record. I trust your judgement.” He came in a few days later and thanked me. I also held up a queue whilst serving (calm down) a girl who was buying some Kate Bush records by just talking about how wonderful she is. She stops time, and makes everything around you mean nothing. You feel weightless and comfortable with who you are when you listen to her.
I’m over a thousand words here. I think I could go all day. I’ll carry on a bit longer, then I’ll stop. I could write a book on this woman. I won’t though. Don’t worry.
What is it about Kate that has caused her to still be relevant? Why is she so important? Just what is it? I’ve always tried to work it out, but I never find an answer. I think it is different for everyone. Those that love her all have their own take on it. Maybe it is her lyric content. Maybe it is her voice. Or maybe, it is just her. Every so often a singer or band comes around, and they just blow your mind. Everything about them stuns you. You cannot being to even summarise what it is that you love about them. It is just pure, unconditional love. The kind of love you have for your pet. You just look at them, and it is with sheer love. Nothing more, nothing less.
With a career that has lasted well over 30 years now, I do believe it is fair to say that Kate Bush is probably THE most influential singer pretty much ever. She’s influenced so many from PJ Harvey to my personal favourite, Ariel Pink (please listen to his music, he is a LA based genius who deserves the world. True love for him.)
I could’ve picked apart songs and albums that I love, but I guess it didn’t feel right. Maybe I am totally wrong with what I have written down. Good job I’m not someone who desires to always be right then isn’t it!
In short, I suppose, Kate is just everything you want from a singer. She has a strong vocal range, her moves are insane (if you’ve never tried to dance like her, you’ve never lived) her words are just poetry. There’s darkness, there’s love, lust, rage, fury and utter power in all her songs. I’d say “don’t trust someone who isn’t a Kate Bush fan!” But to be honest, don’t trust anyone who only listens to just one song. You’ve got a back catalogue of perfection, do NOT ignore it. It’ll probably change your life. Then you’ll hate modern music because it isn’t as pure and as touching as this. To an extent.
We should make her a Dame shouldn’t we? Dame Kate Bush. Sounds alright…
Think about it, most of the good things in life come from Yorkshire. Did you ever used to watch Heartbeat on a Sunday after you’d had your bath? No? Just me? BOLLOCKS! You were missing out. Nick Berry was a heart-throb wasn’t he. Not for me, personally. Also we have Richard Hawley from Sheffield (Can we please just make him a Sir already) Bring Me The Horizon are from Sheffield. Arctic Monkeys are good Yorkshire lads. The Long Blondes (I’m not over it) were a personal favourite. I just love Yorkshire. My mum’s from Doncaster. You know, I think York train station is my favourite. I’m 25 going on 50 aren’t I. Anyway, let me give you another Yorkshire lass.
Helen Boulding.
Her second record is out soon, 16th July. It’s produced by Pete Glenister (he’s worked with Kirsty MacColl so you know he’s a good ‘un.) Anyway, the single The Innocents (it’s lovely isn’t it) is out July 9th. I’m not going to compare her to anyone, I always find that to be utterly lazy. Not to mention a bit offensive to the artist. So I shall say, dear reader, if you like artists such as : Bat For Lashes, Ellie Goulding- you know the kind. Female singers with a powerful and strange (the good kind) of voice that leave you wanting more. Then, you’ll probably enjoy Helen Boulding.
What I love about the new single is how pure it is. It captures the innocence of how are born a blank slate. Thing is, you can start over at any time. Don’t let anything or anyone tell you different- or try to stop you.
There are some tour dates floating about, and she is also playing Hop Farm (30th June.)
I’d also like to mention that she has collaborated with members of The Cure and Killing Joke. That my friends, is a BIG DEAL.
“In my own strange way I’ve always been true to you, in my own sick way I’ll always stay true to you.”
53 years young he is today. Bless him. Look at him. Stood there, with a cute cat on his head. Just look at him. Look into those eyes. Those eyes have seen the things that have led to him writing about the things that created the songs that saved your life. Are you glad you were saved, or would you rather not? Well, that’s up to you. Keep your misery in a firm chokehold and remind it that you own it. It doesn’t own you.
Where the heck do I begin writing about Morrissey? Well, from the start would probably be wise. I’m not wise. Anyway. Morrissey. Birthday. TODAY.
My love for Morrissey cannot be measured. My love for Morrissey cannot be put into words. Yet I feel the need, as I drink tea out of a Morrissey mug to express my love for him. It’s his birthday, not that I need a reason to do this but still.
Alright, so Morrissey. You tyke, how on Earth do I start this? I’ll do it in letter form. Consider this an open letter from an outsider. You’ll never see this but I guess I have to blurt it all out. Here goes nothing, with everything!
Dear Morrissey,
I am just another fan of yours. I’m just another fan who has been obsessed with your words and music for as long as I can remember. I’ve only seen you 4 times, and I only have 1 tattoo that shows my love for you. Is it enough? Tattoo wise, I think so. The body is a blank canvass so..I might as well decorate it the way I want it to be.
You see Morrissey, your words have given me hope and laughs. Tears and strength. Giggles and pain. You’ve summed up every frustration and fury I have ever felt. You’re one of the few reasons as to why I am obsessed with words. You’re also probably why I love cats too. They’re fascinating aren’t they? What you have done is help me make sense of every good and bad emotion I have ever felt and continue to feel. I play Black Cloud and I think of the one I cannot have, and will never have. I play Speedway and I think of every shit thing I have done- and I feel no remorse for it is over and done. I play Alma Matters and it is like two fingers to those who are well, you know what they are. I play Everyday Is Like Sunday and it reminds me of where I grew up and quickly grew tired. You are the soundtrack to my life. For everything I have been exposed to- you have a song for it. I used to want to have a girlfriend who was clinically obese so I could play You’re The One For Me Fatty to, but I didn’t want the local supermarket knowing us on first name basis. So I no longer want. I must confess, I never want to be with someone who loves you like I do. Mainly because I don’t want that connection. I’d much rather bond with them over another band. I won’t mention names. I won’t share you, you know how it is. Then I listen to your songs, and I think I’ve now resigned myself to a life of books, notebooks, lots of cats and a rocking chair. It’s not that bad is it? I’m not a bitter person, far from it. I cannot be bothered with bad feelings- your lyrics taught me how to let go. I cannot thank you enough for this.
Your music has provided me with everything I need to drag me through the days. I don’t discuss the nights because I try to sleep. I try, I bloody well try. Every single time I have seen you live, I cry as soon as you walk on. As you stride to the centre of the stage like a graceful creature (a cat perhaps) I feel as if something truly powerful is taking over me. The first time I saw you live was after I had been dumped for the first time. I will not go into details, I refuse to. But I remember the train journey from the middle of England to Manchester to meet my mother. We then went from Manchester to Stirling. I never knew how one night could change my life. You know, I could’ve been one of those people who throw their lives away due to hurt. I then watched you sing your heart out. As I watched you, I sang along. Tears fell down my face. At the end of the concert, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me. I felt as if nothing in life mattered anymore. I had felt something so bloody awful beforehand, and you eased it. You took it from me, and gave me life again. This is just another way as to how you saved my life. You changed my life.
I’m writing this as if you will see this, but you won’t. All I can do is hope maybe a fan who feels the same way as me reads this and feels less alone. That some stranger has managed to get these feelings out, so they do not have to. That’s what you did for me.
A few weeks ago, I was stood in the smoking area of a club in Manchester. This man started talking to me, and as I spoke he said “You remind me of a young Morrissey. How you speak, and your presence.” We then started singing Every Day Is Like Sunday together. A drunken moment that is forever etched in my heart and mind. I’ll never forget that. If he was a woman, I may have proposed. Or bought her a glass of good wine. Probably the latter.
I wish you a Happy Birthday. I wish you happiness, health and love. I hope you are fully aware of what you mean to myself and to so many others across the world. You’re the light that never goes out. You are hope, truth and wisdom.
I simply cannot thank you enough, so all I can do is end this with a simple yet honest- I love you.
It’s Morrissey’s birthday today. You know, the one person I will probably ever love. It’s the safe option for he cannot love me back nor does he know of my existence and reject me. But hey Moz, if you see this call me. My number starts with 0 and ends in 0..I think. However, my phone has been cut-off so maybe we could write letters. I bought a fountain pen in January, so far I’ve only used it to write cheap poetry about things and people. I’ll even make you cups of tea, on the hour. Anyway, this is all for later on- my birthday post for Moz. For now, you are going to get an album review of sorts. Well, not really. I’m just going to babble on about a band for a bit.
I checked my emails this morning. As ever. Sifting through the “DO YOU NEED VIAGRA?” As I don’t have a penis and I’m also gay- I really don’t need Viagra, thanks for the suggestion though. I also had the “SORRY, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN SUCCESSFUL WITH YOUR APPLICATION.” Fuck you very much. Through the barrel of this bullshit, I was thankfully greeted with something that brought a smile to my face- even if it is World Goth Day. If you must know, I am wearing my Bauhaus shirt. I wear it most days. I sun bathed wearing it, and black jeans. I’m not really sure about this Summer lark you know. I may just stay indoors. Why do I need to go outside when I am being sent something so bloody beautiful via email?!
Joe Innes & The Cavalcade have cruel lyrics merged with a folky sound. By folky I don’t mean something mundane and cack such as Laura Marling and Mumford and his posse. No no, this right here, what I am listening to is a different level. Shall we call it part of the anti-folk scene? Do you hate scenes? I do. Let’s call it a movement. That sounds better. Like a riot is about to start. Everyone enjoys a riot (not like the ones we saw last year, that was just mindless violence.) Joe Innes & his delightful band are wonderful. If I was anymore positive about this band, I’d sound like some kind of motivational speaker. I’m not that kind of person. I do not like to interfere. Ever. Do your own thing.
Right so, if you dig stuff like Emmy The Great, Bright Eyes, Adam Green and..I’m trying to think of someone else but I can’t. Bollocks. Basically, if you like music that is gentle- then this is for you. Perfect to sit by a lake with a bottle of wine. Go home when you think going for a swim is a good idea though. I can’t swim. So if I drink wine, I always make sure there are people around and no water at all.
The lyrics are dark. Look, anyone who writes a song about burying a dead rat is close to perfect in my mind. Anyone who holds something towards this and needs to write a song about it, well- you’re my kind of person. There is something so painful about the lyrics you know? Because it is so true to life. Ever seen a dead rat in the road and wanted to bury it? No? Just me? I should stop being so caring. I’d risk my life to save an animal. The Frighteners is my favourite track off their debut record. It is creepy, ghoulish and ever so sinister. Everything I love about music is in that song.
I feel I should write something pretentious like, “This band feel like Summer.” Thing is, Summer in the UK is basically rain isn’t it? So that’s not nice. In short, Joe Innes & The Cavalcade are pretty damn good. That’s an understatement. I should give you a link to this record shouldn’t I?
The songs are perfect for those who doubt themselves, doubt love and doubt the world at times. All this doubt keeps you going, keeps you alive. Well, that’s how I see it anyway. I live as if I am unloveable, I don’t want to disappoint. Future girlfriends (if it ever happens again) you need to know this. I’ll probably play you a song by Joe Innes & The Cavalcade to get my point across.
There’s angst, hurt and so much vulnerability in these songs. I dig it, and I hope you do too. The record came out at the end of April, so you have no excuse.
Joe Innes has supported some bands I bloody adore so much such as Sea Of Bees, She Keeps Bees and Caitlin Rose. If you’re at a loss and need something to kick-start your soul, invest your time/ears in Joe’s music. They’re playing a gig in Dalston on the 27th May. I’d go..but I’m in London 3 days after. I always miss out!
“Now the scaffold is high and eternity is near. She stood in the crowd but shed not a tear. But sometimes at night when the cold winds moan, in a long black veil she cries on my bones.”
I was very very young when I first became aware of Nick Cave. I used to spend a lot of time sitting in my uncle’s room at my gran’s. Staring at the guitar, the records, the books and the faces on the wall. The faces that later in my life, became the faces that became more than just a band. More than just a face on the wall. I am writing this with no sense of what I want to get out of it, let alone what I want to put into it. All I love about Nick Cave cannot be put into some silly article I have decided to write. Only a fragment of what I feel towards his music and all it means to me will be exposed. The rest is, as ever, kept in my heart. That’s the safest place for anything to be stored. You control what you let out, and what you let in. You know, it sure is hard to meet fellow fans of Nick Cave. It’s alright though, I know you’re out there. Listening to him. Letting him spew out exactly how you feel. You feel less alone don’t you?
So, I first became aware of Nick Cave at a tender age. I used to spend a lot of time at my gran’s house, whilst my mum worked. I’d make up games, listen to music, read, be read to, go for walks- happy and healthy, for the most part. This was all before I went to school. This was all before I was subjected to subjects that meant nothing to me. I think all along, I just wanted to sit and listen to music. Nothing has really changed. I doubt it ever will. I remember constantly asking my uncle about Nick Cave. I was drawn in immediately to this poster he had of him on his wall. I remember going upstairs sometimes just to stare at this poster. I was in awe, and I think part of me sort of had the idea that later in life- this man would be summing up how I feel towards most things. This man would be responsible for my obsession with words, poetry, love, life, death and the darkness. I’m not right about much in life, but I was right about this.
As I got older, certain songs became more than just pieces of music. I will always regard Henry Lee as my favourite love based song of all time. I’m not much of a singer, but if I had a girlfriend I would make Henry Lee our song- I’d probably try persuade the poor girl to sing it along with me. In public and in private. Thing is, they’d have to love Nick Cave. So far, no luck! I’m not waiting around for it to happen. Some things just happen when they are supposed to don’t they. You can control the volume of the song you play, but you cannot control those you let in.
Nick Cave made me feel less alone with how I see the world, all around me and how I view myself. He also made me want to be a poet. I grew up on Patti Smith, Bob Dylan and Joan Baez- this is all where my love for words came from. As I got older, I realised my mum had a huge love for Nick Cave too. At this point, it was firmly instilled in me that I had to do something with words. Thing is, with all the notebooks I have filled with songs and poems- I think only two people have ever read what I have written down. I like to think I have improved as I got older. I love words that are dark and create a really tense atmosphere. I love songs like this too. Nick Cave is pretty much the God of all of this. Without him, I probably wouldn’t venture towards the dark side of literature as much.
Writing should be like a healing process, and also finding a part of you. Much like listening to music. I guess this is why I love Nick Cave so much. I love his solo work, Grinderman, The Birthday Part, The Bad Seeds- everything he has ever done, and continues to do is just perfect in my eyes. The passion in his voice makes every word he drawls out just land a place firmly in your heart. Fuck. It goes beyond the heart and soul. Sometimes, a musician gives you a way of life with their art you know? I hold this opinion on a few musicians such as Patti Smith, Ramones, Morrissey, The Kills and Warpaint. There is something about them all that prove comfort in a world that seems to thrive off bad vibes and back stabbing. I want no part in it, which is why I keep my headphones in.
There’s a strong sense of peace and wonder in his words. You think you’re forever lost, then you listen to a Nick Cave and it is like, “I am home. I am free.” It doesn’t matter which song that makes you feel this way because, well, they will ALL make you feel this way. Nick Cave makes you feel like he is your spirit animal, ya dig? It is like he drags out every ugly and unnamed feeling you have ever felt. But he makes it less daunting and less of a chore to feel. I’ve never really sat down and spoke with anyone about Nick Cave. If I had a bucketlist, that’d probably be on it to be honest. Simple means to lead to lasting pleasures. I think? I’m not sure. I like complicated and intense at times. But I’ll settle for a cup of tea. Make it strong.
I haven’t chosen certain songs or lyrics to mention as honestly, I just cannot do it. Pretty much every word Nick Cave has ever written down means the world to me, and more so it is impossible to list even, say five songs. I mean you’ve got songs like Into My Arms that make you want to sing it to the person you are really foolishly fond of. Then you have songs like The Moon Is In The Gutter that just makes you feel less horrific with yourself. Then you have Stranger Than Kindness and Long Black Veil which are etched upon your heart. It is just impossible. He’s not just someone you casually listen to. He is someone who is part of you. He’s left such an impact within your life that you honestly feel a bit sick thinking about life without his words. How awful that would be.
So there you have it. Another annoying ramble from myself as to why I love, adore, respect and admire Nick Cave. I don’t even think I have conveyed it well enough. I don’t even think this is any good- but that doesn’t matter. It’s come from the heart, and that’s the best any of us can ever do.
“The moon is in the gutter. And the stars wash down the sink. I am the king of the blues, I scrape the clay off my shoes. And wade down the gutter and the moon.”
“You have been left alone. The creature of innocence. You lie for what you’re worth.”
There’s always a singer that goes beyond what is expected of them. They’re not just someone who spills their guts out on stage. They’re not just someone who manages to convey every frail and petrifying feeling you have burning inside of you. They’re that friend at 4am when no one else is around. They are the secure arms around you that you need when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. Thing is, you can always hit lower than rock bottom. There is something lower than that. It takes a lot to hit it, and it takes even more to get yourself up from out of it. The romanticism in suffering and aching has always been glorified by many singers and writers. Personally, I love it. Yet I know there are so many that would shy away from it. I say, never turn your back on anything dark- for there will come a time in life where it will provide comfort.
I could easily sum this all up in one sentence. I could easily put my thoughts about Chris Corner into one small sentence, but he deserves more than that. He deserves more than a “He is a genius” kind of thing. So, as I respect him and love him more than most I say I love, he’s going to get a ramble of sorts. If you don’t love him or if you’re not a fan- then maybe this isn’t for you? I honestly don’t expect anyone to read this or anything like that. I guess I just need to offload my love for him somehow. I’m going to try. And with great efforts come hitting a wall, being lost for words. I am fully expecting to just struggle with getting the words out. I’ll try, as ever.
To even try to think why I love Chris/IAMX is enough to make my brain explode. It all started in 2007. I heard Nightlife for the first time. I was at Uni, and I had a sense of freedom. But something was holding me back. I’ve always been painfully shy. I know some may mistake it for arrogance. I’m not like that. I’m just shy, and I try my best to stop being that way most of the time. A lot of the time, I have nothing to say. Yet sometimes, I do have something to say. But I’ve learnt that keeping quiet is easier, you know? Why say it when someone gets the words out for you? That’s where Chris Corner comes in. Before I truly got into his music, I found myself reading his lyrics like a poem rather than giving in to the actual songs. I have so many songs by him that I could put in the “songs that saved my life” pile. One song in particular that just sums it all up has to be I Am Terrified. The sadness in this song is so overwhelming. I’d probably cry right now as I listen to it, but I’m far too tired. I feel as if I could sleep for a whole week and still be exhausted. I don’t know. I Am Terrified is like a plea of sorts and also owning up to not being strong. For so long I thought it was important to be tough. As I get older, I sort of feel, “well fuck it. I get sad sometimes but I’m okay for the most part. If I want to cry, I’ll go have a cry.” You should never fear what you feel- this is another valuable thing I have learnt from Chris Corner.
Have you ever been with someone who always demanded you be strong? Yet you know they are fucking you over? It happens to us all. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. You cannot avoid it. You’ll survive though, we all do. There’s no harm in hurt. It’s all on how you deal with it. You see, Chris Corner makes you feel as if he is talking to YOU. That every word he writes down then sings is made just for YOU. Why on Earth is this man not given the respect and love he does? Well, those that love him know that none of this matters. The love you have for him in your heart is enough. His music makes you believe you can survive and be what you need to be. The outcome doesn’t scare you. You can do this. You may feel alone, but you’ve got the music. Songs like Running just make you feel like you are not alone with how you feel. We are told to embrace being different, yet when we show a hint of it- we are shot down. Why is being true to yourself constantly seen as a battle? Set yourself free, and play Running. Play it through headphones. Play it when you are on your own; something will take you over. Just let it happen.
Without sounding like a massive pretentious prick, his music honestly sounds better at night time. As it gets dark, his music fills you with life. At night, that’s when most of us are alone (I don’t mean lonely. A person can feel lonely even when in the company of others) so you seek out a sound for a touch of comfort. I have played his music so many times in utter darkness and it honestly feels like my body is being taking into a different universe. Every feeling (that is positive) you truly feel and is heightened when you listen to IAMX at night. If I could drive, I’d probably play it loud and drive for hours and hours. Getting lost and not caring if I find my way back. You can take a journey like that inside your head anyway, can’t you.
Maybe I should’ve written this and taken some songs apart. But I decided to jut attempt to get out how his music makes me feel. There is love, power, disdain, fury, vulnerability, fear, raw and gentle all throughout his music. There are so many songs that just mean so much to me, but I truly challenge anyone (even if they claim to be tough) to not break down a bit whilst listening to This Will Make You Love Again. I played it once when I thought “oh fuck..my life is over.” We all have that moment in our lives. It is never over though is it? There’s always something to give us hope. I mean, I used to think I was someone who couldn’t love. I can love, but by no means does that mean I think I am loveable. I don’t think I am but hey..I’ve got music, right? The Alternative was like a crutch for me for so long. I listen to it religiously now, obviously I hold a lot of sentimental value to this record. It stopped me from sending myself crazy I guess. It’s just one of the most beautiful records I have ever heard and probably will ever hear. This Will Make You Love Again makes you feel okay with life. It makes you want to seek the one you wish to have, and play this to them- so they truly get it. Maybe they wouldn’t understand. If they don’t love IAMX or haven’t heard of Chris Corner, then find someone new.
I feel as if I could write about how much of a genius Chris is forever, yet at the same time- my words do not do him justice. I think the only way to end this is to quote one of the most beautiful verses of all time:
“When the joys of living just leave you cold. Frozen from the failing mess you’ve made your own. And if you want an ending to your screenplay life, well here’s the consolation that will change your heart and mind.”
I idolise this man. I have done ever since I can remember. I fell in love with his perfect stage presence. His unconventional beauty. His lyrics. His music, his art, his wisdom- just him. You wanted to be just like him, you wanted to be friends with him. Some may use the word “cool” to describe him, but I find that word to be highly redundant. It’s such an empty word to describe a person. Joey deserves more than that, especially as today would’ve been his birthday.
I remember when I first heard the Ramones. My uncle was a Punk (and I firmly believe once it is in you, you are a Punk for life) and I used to be fascinated with his record collection. I still am. Most of what I love comes from his influence. I picked up a Ramones record and I was in awe of the artwork. They didn’t look like a band- they looked like a gang. You could tell by just looking at them that they had a “do or die” kind of approach. I personally believe that’s the best way to be. If you are not willing to bleed and ache for your art- then don’t do it. Never do something unless you are going to put your heart into it. That’s one of the many things Ramones taught me. I feel in debt to this band.
I had a Ramones hoodie. I let someone borrow it. I’m never getting it back. I pretty much lived in that hoodie. I just want it back. I need a new one. Sorry, about the outburst.
What I loved about Joey was how for most who didn’t know who he was, he probably seemed like a lanky daunting creature. His gangly frame completed with ripped jeans and a beaten leather jacket. Most probably would look at him and think “here comes trouble.” The only time he probably kicked up a fuss was on stage. Thrusting the mic stand about and yelling every word for you to scream back. I watch the old clips and just wish I was there. I have a couple of Ramones records on vinyl, and they are honestly one of the few treasured possessions I have. I don’t own anything expensive at all. If you’re going to mug me, I wouldn’t bother at all. I have no money and my bank card has snapped in half. I’m a walking mess and a disgrace to myself. I like to think my leather (not real leather) shields me from being approached by the likes of bible bashers and charity workers. I don’t want to be told I’m going to Hell nor do I have the money to send to someone else. I’ve been living off cup-a-soup. Feel free to send me YOUR money.
Joey was a gentle giant. Hiding behind his hair, was he really that shy? I think that was part of the appeal. From him, I learnt that being shy isn’t a bad thing so long as you have a way of letting it all out. Find a form of art to just let it all out.
Joey made me, and still makes me feel less hideous about my messy hair and my clothes that are falling apart. It doesn’t matter about the outside. Keep your insides pure and honest- and do what you have to do in order to keep yourself alive.
Joey, wherever you are, I hope you are having the best birthday ever. Thank you for being an inspiration and role model for someone like me. Much love xxxx
You know when you tell someone you really love foreign films, and you can see it in their eyes that they immediately think, “What a pretentious twat!” I’m going to assume this happens if you tell people you like bands that do not sing in English. You see, I love foreign films. It all started when I was in secondary school and my French teacher showed us Amelie. Like anyone with half a brain, I know it is a bloody brilliant film. I loved how it was shot. I’m such an arse when it comes to music or films- I don’t always pay attention to the outside of it. I usually pay attention to the production and such. I have no idea why, and I honestly hate it. I once took a notebook to a gig. The first gig I ever reviewed. But I realised very quickly that the best way to review it, was to be part of it. I usually write-up a gig review the day after so I can process everything that happened. I don’t have an amazing memory, but with gigs I do. I can remember dates, pointless facts and gigs. Obviously I know what is important in life.
Belgrado come from Barcelona. I’ve never been, so I won’t mention anything else about the place. Their music makes you feel like you are alive in the 80s when Siouxsie and Bauhaus were ruling the airwaves. Okay, so maybe they didn’t rule the airwaves so let’s pretend that they did and the 80s wasn’t made up of truly awful pop music. Much like it is now. Belgrado are pretty new, and their debut LP came out around a year ago. It is basically one of the most underrated things to have happened yesterday. Better late than never, I suppose.
There are so many reasons as to why I love them. They have this brutal force in their music, and the vocals are so haunting. If The Cure are looking for a band to collaborate with, I’d recommend Robert Smiths gives these guys a listen. The haunting guitars would just cause a riot. In my head, this will one day happen. I’d love it too. Every song by Belgrado makes me feel like A Forest by The Cure does. This is what I look for in a band, in a song. If I don’t feel like that, I probably won’t give it all my attention. I’d say I’m like this with people but people are disappointing for the most part aren’t they? A song is easier to give yourself up to. A band is easier for you to trust and give every part of yourself too. Maybe it should be this way, maybe it shouldn’t. There is really no right or wrong in this. As ever, it is all a matter of personal choice.
To even try to compare Belgrado to anyone else is pretty silly. Sure they have a huge 80s gothic sound going on, and they will make fans of the typical bands happy. But they have something different going on. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe it is because they play with such a raw force, maybe it is because of the female vocals that make the songs a touch more gentle. There are so many reasons as to why I love Belgrado, but the main one is that they blow whatever is left of my mind.
Beat In My Bones. 