Any kind of music that makes me feel as if my brain is going to explode or if my body is being pulled about in different directions is fine by me. It’s pretty much what I look for. I don’t like mushy stuff, that doesn’t benefit anyone (maybe it does, but it just isn’t for me.) Those mushy songs portray love in the worst way. And general feelings. I want to feel as if I’m in the midst of a fight that I shouldn’t be in. I want the drums to turn into bruises and the guitar to feel like a bash to the face.

The Cheating Hearts have this huge gang feel to their sound, but there’s just two of them. I’m a massive fan of duos, and when they make more noise than most that’s when I know I’ve found something I’m going to treasure. The Cheating Hearts are a mighty fine German band who sound like The Cramps mixed with (early) The Damned. They make you feel as if you are not in this era. They’ve got a typical Rock & Roll feel mixed with something really creepy. An ideal tour for me would be these guys and The Creeping Ivies. It would be brutal, raw and intense.

I know the word “cool” is redundant and let’s be honest, nobody apart from Lou Reed captured the real essence of cool. But if you want the REAL meaning, just watch Almost Famous. Lester Bangs character nails it perfectly. However, The Cheating Hearts are slick and real cool. This is a band that should be influencing young ruffians to pick up an instrument and make some noise. If I was 14/15 and hearing these guys, I’d be quick to find some friends and make some noise. Instead, I’m just a 28 year old with no musical talent constantly wishing I did. Oh to pack up daily life and exchange it for dive bars and going to places I never thought I would. I can dream, it’s all I have.

Their record wonderfully titled, Fuck Love came out just over a year ago. I’m late to the party but you know, better late than never…well, depending on the circumstances I guess. Fuck Love is a gritty and rowdy records. It’s for those who adore the weird side of things and embrace with arms and minds open. There is something really magical about this record, and like I mentioned above, it really does make you feel as if you’ve gone back in time. They do not sound “now.” I struggle to work out what a “now” sound is. It is a lot of synths? Count me out.

Their bio says that they will soundtrack your next break-up. Sometimes having your heart gorged out needs a soundtrack, The Cheating Hearts are that soundtrack. Some may want to listen to Adele and cry into a box of Milk Tray, but fuck that. Throw yourself into something like this and forget what happened. A break-up doesn’t have to ruin you, nothing in life does. Sure it is easier said than done, but I’m all for rambunctious sounds like The Cheating Hearts to tell my story/unleash it all for me. Sure if your heart isn’t broken these guys can still be you soundtrack, I’ll be constantly playing them without thinking about anything other than how bloody great they sound.

The Cheating Hearts are a brilliant explosion of all things I look for in music. Their lyrics are witty in all the right places and the music is all I could wish for. With only one record released, Fuck Love just leaves you wanting more. There’s only so much having it on repeat can do for you until you start craving for more music. With one listen I just knew I was headed into something I couldn’t get enough of.

The Cheating Hearts are going to put you in a chokehold and rip out your heart when they are done. You’ll love it and you won’t be able to stop yourself from having that feeling over and over again. Don’t fight it, there’s just no point at all. They dress in wedding garments and look like a couple who are on the run. Their look is as crucial as their sound. They look like how they want you to feel when you listen to their music, and trust me you will. This Garage Rock/Punk sound they have going on is nothing short of incredible and I need more.

You can buy/listen to Fuck Love here:

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