Lana Del Rey(again..I know, I know.)

27 01 2012

I HATE LANA DEL REY.

Now I’ve got your attention, I’m going to attempt to put into words just how much it pisses me off all this slagging off and playground behaviour towards someone with genuine talent.

As you all know, before she was Lana Del Rey- she was Lizzy Grant. OH FUCK ME HOW DARE SHE CHANGE HER NAME. I mean, Iggy Pop is clearly his real name. Ziggy Stardust was NEVER a made up persona. Lady Gaga was actually christened with that name, Pink is actually called Pink and Snoop Dog was also born with that name.

Get over it.

I watched a documentary about the Blues recently, and this old guy (very wise and interesting, I’m shit with names though..so….) said this or similar : “They are called performing artists. The clue is there. It’s ART. Artifical. It’s an act, they don’t have to be themselves.” Like I said, that was basically what he said. And let’s face it; it’s true. Most singers create a persona. Some are a gimmick for the right or wrong reasons. So why on Earth is Lana fucking crucified for not going by her real name?

Are you mad because her dad is rich? Give a shit. That’s personal business. I care about Lana’s music. I don’t care about her personal life or what her family gets up to. I just love her music. You go on about how she’s had “work” done on her lips? So fucking what? Who cares if she has or hasn’t. I don’t think she has. I think she’s just got a wonderful pout. Some people pout (we’ve all got that annoying friend who has photos of themselves pouting on Facebook, pricks.) and I reckon Lana is a pouter. Again, who cares. Lana isn’t a singer because she wants you to pull her apart at every single chance. She’s a singer (and a signed one) because she has…GASP! HORROR! TALENT! Which is more than can be said for half the shit that pollutes the airwaves and the like.

Let’s mention SNL briefly. Have you ever had to do something, and you were so fucking nervous, and you just crumbled? Have you ever wanted to ask someone out? You build yourself up to it, and as you approach the person- with the words you want to say on the tip of your tongue and your heart racing, and you come out with “Hey..I err… I dig your elbows.” Then they laugh at you, and that’s it. You never want to speak your emotions ever again. It’s happened to us all. We’ve ALL folded under pressure. Lana is a human being; she’s not a robot who can just block out the fact she was being broacasted to millions of people. If it was me, I probably would’ve ran into a corner, pissed myself and cried for my mother. With no record out, she was the first to do this. That shit is nerve-wracking. Some were saying, “Oh if she was nervous, she shouldn’t have bothered.” Fuck off maaaan. Maybe she was fine, but as soon as the camera hit her- she fell apart. It happens. Let it go.

I read recently that she says people seem fascinated with her failing. She’s not wrong. People are expecting her to fail, but why? Why would you wish for somone to fail? You don’t go to school or whatever and think, “I hope my teacher balls up teaching us Science today!” or “I hope the taxi driver goes the wrong way or breaks down.” Fuck your bad vibes man. There’s so much suffering and shitness in the world, why would you waste your time on hating a person you do not know?

What drew me to Lana in May last year was how vulnerable she seemed. Her honest lyrics haunted you, and her frail presence just lured me in. I knew I was watching something so precious and perfect. It was Diet Mtn Dew that I first heard. Then I read up about Video Games. Her voice on Video Games always ALWAYS flaws me. I’ve never heard anything so pure. However, for me- it was Blue Jeans that did it. Personally, I love it more than Video Games. I can take or leave Video Games. It’s Blue Jeans that I adore. Now, some twerp has leaked the album. I haven’t downloaded it because I don’t want to be one of the tits that kill music. I listened to about 3 songs- then just stopped. I stopped because I wanted to have the record in my hands on Monday. I heard Dark Paradise, and I was internally freaking out. It is perfect. It is one of the best things I will hear all year, that I am sure of.

She has easily put out the best debut album of the year. EASILY. I know I change my mind a lot, but I’ll be sticking to this statement.

It just, I guess it upsets me because I love music. It is my life. And to see awful things such as the X-Factor being praised and artists with genuine talent being shot down. I just don’t get it at all. So what if how Lana dresses seems “manufactured.” I don’t think it does. I’ve seen her wear a leather jacket, jeans and trainers- how the fuck is that manufactured? It isn’t. She’s being true to herself. I’d take her over Gaga and Adele ANY day. I cannot relate to them at all. I can relate to Lana’s dark tales and vulnerable stories.

I kow the whole blogging scene (fucks sake) seem to LOVE to rip anything apart that gets a whiff of popularity. Just grow up and shut up. You’re not the one on stage singing songs from the heart. You’re not the one being pulled apart from what you say/do and how you look. You’re just sat behind a screen eating Wotsits- you probably don’t wash your hands after you pee. You vile, vile creature. I’ve written about Lana before- and I got hate for it- so I deleted it because I couldn’t be arsed. I’m just sick of people being so negative and ripping a person apart. There’s no need for it.

If you don’t like it- don’t listen to it. You don’t need to be a harsh, cold, cruel idiot. It just makes you look like a pretentious twit who has nothing better to do other than hate. What’s the point? I’m not saying you should like Lana, far from it. I just don’t understand why there is so much hate for a person who’s not even put her record out (Monday, it’s out on Monday FINALLY!)

I could go all Chris Crocker on this and just say..LEEEEEEEEEEAVE LANA ALONEEEE!!!! But, I’m trying to tame my madness.

So whatever, big deal she’s made up a name. She wanted to create a name that’s as beautiful as the music- which she has done. She’s not the first person to have gone by a different name. Life is all about changing and finding out who you are. Lana is just another 25 year old like myself trying to find her voice. She isn’t the only one; she’s doing it in a public way. That takes guts and heart.

I adore the line, “Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain.” from Born To Die. There’s something about it that just makes you feel and think as if you are in love. Her music and her lyrics are truthful; so beautiful. There’s more to Lana than people realise. They seem to be blinded by her past. We’ve all got a past. It’s not like she was a robber or mugging old people every Thursday just for kicks. All she did was put out a record under her real name. It’s not big deal.

Like I said, if you don’t like it- don’t listen to it.


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