Sometimes you need to listen to something really noisy, just so you can feel something like a billion vaults go through your skull in the hopes of adding excitement to your day. Or whatever gets you through.

That’s where you need bands like Teen Mortgage. A duo that feels like a billion electric shocks to your skull. Do you feel anything yet? Probably not. Keep listening.

They are loud. The good kind of loud. The kind that makes you want to be as loud as them. Maybe louder? Only do what you can, if you want.

I know nothing about them, nor do I need to or want to. All I know is that they are pretty fucking good, and again, I’m late to the party. I don’t like parties anyway. This came from needing something loud to listen to at work. It’s doing the job. I have no idea how long they’ve been making music for, but in this case- time means nothing. Does it ever? Sometimes. When it drags, you feel like you could just gauge your eyeballs out to do something. We’re all waiting around for something. Usually for the day to be over. Light relief can always be found in music. I love the sound this band has. There’s slight hints of Melvins mixed with Heavy Lungs, and other bands I love. There’s a beautiful rage in their sound, and you can’t get enough of it. There’s this delightful fury in the songs that makes you want to throw things around and smash ‘em up. Do it. You’ll feel better. They have this energy that’s in the beloved Bruise Control and Death Goals. Loud. So fucking loud. So good. Inject this right into my eardrums.

Pick a favourite song? No. Not yet. I’ve spent a solid few hours listening to them on repeat, and Sick Day has this ridiculous feel to it. It’s the drums. Always the drums. It makes me feel like I’m slamming my head into a wall but with no feeling at all. Of course, the reality would be a headache, or worse. Anyway.

The Change is a solid one too. That’s one to play if you want someone you care about to like this band. If someone doesn’t dig them, it’s all okay to have trust issues over it and reassess your relationship with them. It’s okay. The Change COULD be one of my favourites, but every song I’ve nearly deafened myself with is exceptional. I feel like this bad mood I’ve been stuck in for a while has slightly lifted. I think I just need a nap. I always need a nap. My cat has got it figured out: wake up, have a little snack, maybe run around. Sleep for 5 hours. Repeat. Sleep again. More sleep. Could SHE handle this band? I’ve subjected her to some sorts at home- I think she’d be alright with this.

They’re the best at what they do, and this heavy sound they have is just a real joy to listen to. They’re the kind of band that make you fall back in love with music again. I’d noticed I’d been obsessively listening to set bands/songs over and over again. I don’t like when I do that, so finding Teen Mortage came at the right time. Ed is a giant on the drums. There’s this grand Melvins feel to his style- really sludgy, really loud. Then you’re hit with James’ vocals and guitar- add all this together, and you truly have a band worthy of every fraction of your attention, time, love, ears, anything/everything.

Teen Mortgage make music that is cathartic; it feels like a huge release listening to them. The modern world is too self-centred, and sometimes you just need a band like Teen Mortgage to smack you in the face with the kind of music that would probably scare your family.

Play it loud. Burst those eardrums*

*Don’t!! I don’t want you hurting yourself.