A loss is a painful thing to experience and is something nobody can avoid. You can attempt to shut off from the world and wrap yourself in some form of a protective bubble but something will get in and you will experience an all too frequent situation.
Regardless of how close you were to the person you have loss, you are told several clichés in order to make you feel better. At the start it is raw, your brain is in some weird state and your heart aches. The loss can be temporary or it can be permanent. The feelings however, well, nobody can tell. The beauty (and isolation) in emotions is that only you know how they feel to you. Others will be feeling the same thing, but it hits you different.
Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be writing this, but I’m a person who is more than likely too sensitive for their own good. I can cry at the sight of a cute puppy just like I can cry quite easily at all the bad happening in the world. “Better out than in” is something that probably seems quite apt.
I was born on the Isle of Man. It is home to strange things such as cats with no tails and it’s in the middle of the Irish Sea. I saw the bad in it on a daily basis when I was living there- it is far from everything I know. But if you wander round the place you will see some truly beautiful places. I miss being away from the sea because there is truly nothing more relaxing than staring out to the sea with the sea air whirling around you. Play your favourite song and stare into the unknown. Peel beach is my favourite beach on the Island; even when it is cold and pissing it down, it is still beautiful. More importantly a woman who many (myself included) regard as a fighter and just a beautiful spirit lived there.
In December 2012 I wrote about a woman named Katherine Crow who had recorded a song at Abbey Road studios in the hopes for a Christmas number 1. At the time I was working at HMV and I refused to serve anyone who was just buying one copy of the single. Why buy one when you can buy three. This sales technique worked, but I don’t have the guts (or the extremely outgoing nature) of working sales. I was just passionate about the cause, like everyone else on the Isle of Man.
On Wednesday evening Kath passed away. Aged only 39, that ugly and vile disease that affects so many took her. Cancer is part of way too many people’s lives and to live in a world where no more families or friends or loved ones had to ever endure the pain and hurt it causes, well…I just live in hope. We have to, it’s the only way.
I did not know Kath personally but like anyone who knew her story or is from the Isle of Man; they were just touched by how tough and just how bloody lovely she truly was. To write this in past tense goes beyond my head, I have to keep going back to change it because it makes no sense. I have no point as to what I’m writing, and I’m fully aware I only ever write about Music as it is all I know. But, if you knew of Kath you knew she had a gorgeous voice. I only saw her perform twice and both times I sobbed. See, I just cry too easily- especially with live music.
I remember a story she told both times; she would say she had to drink a lot during performances otherwise her top lip would disappear and demonstrated this, it was too funny and is something I’ll always remember. That voice, that humor. When I was living at home and was forced to go food shopping with my mum, we would sometimes bump into Kath outside Tesco and she just had the glowing presence about her. Just watch this interview below and see how genuine and lovely she was.
Her presence, her smile, her voice and so much more will be missed. Her strength, passion and determination was infectious and inspiring. If we can take anything from this heartbreaking and devastating event (I’m sure there is a better word, but I can’t think of it right now, sorry) then let it be the courage and passion she had.
An event is being held on the Isle of Man on 31st October til 2nd November for the Isle of Man Hospice; The Big Beat For Hospice. A group of talented musicians are going to be making a load of noise for charity. Three days of drumming, sounds perfect right? You can donate to the cause right here: http://www.justgiving.com/bbfh Just donate whatever you can for a cause that’s sole purpose is to really make a difference. You can find out more about the event on their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TheBigBeatForHospice
Rest easy Kath. You’ll be missed xx