I’ve been attempting to complete a job application form since about half 1 this afternoon. I’ve left it alone for now because I simply cannot write about myself without thinking like a massive wanker. I probably sound like one when I write about music, but we all have our faults.

As you know, Manchester is pretty much the home to the best music around. It’s picked up over recent years and let’s be honest- it is shitting on London from a great height. Of course London is wonderful and all that but the Manchester music scene feels more…I guess, “warmer.” And also, a darker sound.

Sex Hands have a creepy name and a creepy sound. Their eerie and sinister feel to their music is perfect to me. I love music that sounds like this. Yesterday I was sent a few emails from Christian rappers and singers. I’m not sure why I was their target. I probably need to repent for some stuff. I’m sure there is a list somewhere of all my wrong-doings, and I remember them all too well. Sex Hands don’t make you want to repent. They make you want to play their music obnoxiously loud, and if you have a shitty neighbour then this is the music you have to play as loud as you can.

Sex Hands are a fine Manchester band that I’m not even going to say who they sound like as that’s not my style. But if you love weird and wonderful music, then this is the band for you. They have some cool shirt designs on their bandcamp page, and if anyone wants to buy me one I’d be happy with that.

Their perverse and fucking excellent record, Season 1 has some stunners of song titles on there. We’ve got the delightful Jam Sandwich and the frivolous The Moist Maker. If you’re looking to woo someone, play them these songs. If they don’t want to be yours after this, then move on. Pretty sure if I played my girlfriend any of these songs she would just shake her head at me. Or walk off. Maybe both.

The record is handsomely influenced by the TV show Friends (song titles) and to be honest, if these songs were on episodes of Friends I probably would have liked it. Sex Hand riot filled songs are made to be played loud and aggressively. This brilliant and exciting sound they have just reminds me of why I love music so much. The energy they have is brutal and a pleasure to have ringing in your ears.

In a dream world these guys would be playing scary venues with the likes of Bad Grammar. Creating a super haunting atmosphere and screaming into the crowd whilst thrashing their instruments about. When a band play with this much passion, it is pretty easy to love them in an equally intense manner. Some music is just made to be played so loud you feel as if your ears are going to bleed, I can only hope their live shows captivate this. I have every faith that it will.

If you like music that sounds dirty and is wonderfully perverse, then Sex Hands are for you. If not, then don’t be a prude and listen to them. Basically, just listen to them.

Listen to their delectable sounds here:

Oh and be careful when typing their name into search engines. Or live on the edge and don’t have the parental lock on.

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