22 09 2015

Berlin heartthrobes Bikes are brilliant. They are a proper rowdy and obnoxious band. Their sound is part Iggy and The Stooges and part drunken street brawl. The songs are awfully short (like myself) but don’t let that be a deterrent. They’re one of the finest bands doing this kind of music. What kind of music is it? Oh it’s just noise to the outsider, but anyone else would realise very quickly that it’s a stroke of potential genius. The G word is lobbed around too often, so I’ll say it is potentially genius, but in my heart I know it has already reached that point.

When I find a band like Bikes I feel like I’ve won the lottery. However if you saw my bank statement you would probably think I’ve been a victim of fraud. Truth is, I’m shite with money. I found a new record store to venture in next week when I get paid, but today on my lunchbreak all I could do was lustfully look at it as I walked past. It didn’t help that my uncle (he’s on holiday in Canada) sent me a photo of two records he bought today (The Cramps and Fucked Up.) My time will come next week on pay day.

Money woes aside, Bikes are the kind of band you go to when you’re broke,bored and unsure. They’re the right kind of loud and they just make you want to pack up your stuff, and escape to Berlin. As you make your escape, you decide that Bikes are going to be your soundtrack and you throw yourself into their scene. Bruised and sore, covered in various shades of booze and sweat. They are the epitome of a good time for those who want to throw themselves into the unknown. Their sound is a mixture of weirdness, Punk and Garage Rock. All the typical things that I adore rolled into one to make this incredible sound.

They’ve been going for quite some time now, and I’m foolishly only just now discovering them. I first heard them about half an hour ago, and I knew I had to try write something about them, even if it makes no sense. I’ve never planned any form of writing, and I’m fairly sure it shows. Bikes are the tyrants that are coming to save you. Their menacing and infectious sounds can pull anyone through the worst day of them and are just a real joy to the ears, and soul.

You can do a whole bunch of nothing to this band or you can go on a journey of self-discovery, regardless of your mood and general state of being, Bikes are a band to really get behind and play as loud as you can stand. They’ve got a song called Ocean Penis, that’s pretty great.

All you snotty nosed brats and restless adults, let Bikes be your soundtrack.

Get the tunes here:


16 07 2015

Living in a house which is detached from others is good for one thing- I can play my music loud without worrying if I’m disturbing anyone. However, I have moments where I can be considerate so I wouldn’t play it loud anyway. There are some bands that you play at a comfortable volume and there are bands that you play as loud as you can until your ears feel like they are bleeding and your body is pleading for you to turn it down. But the mind wins.

UV Glaze are obnoxiously loud. I won’t say who they are/are not for. Anyone with decent hearing should listen to these guys. Sure they aren’t to everyone’s taste, but personally I love them. If this is what Berlin is churning out, then someone please sort me out with a job over there (one day…and I’d probably sit in the Ramones museum all day talking to items of Joey’s wardrobe.) UV Glaze have this brutal and heavy sound that makes you conjure up equally sadistic notions, not to the point of danger. They just bring out the filth in us all. If we all unleashed it sometime, then maybe we’d be more laid-back and welcoming. They’re the kind of band that probably leave you bloodied and bruised after a live show. Sometimes you just need a band like this in your collection. In my case, I need it all the time.

I know nothing about this band. I don’t know their names or how long they’ve been going, so all I can tell you is how fucking brilliant they are. The singer sounds like he’s in constant pain when he sings. As if every word could be his last, they are delivered with such urgency and in a way that makes you imagine him singing them whilst wriggling on the floor in an uncomfortable manner trying to push the demons out. It’s as dark as The Birthday Party and as heavy as the likes of Sleep. It’s just a divine collision of noise and rage. There’s this beautiful angst in the music that makes you want to bin your mundane everyday life off and seek out what you’ve been told to leave alone.

This stuff is real nasty and grimy and is something you should play to shock someone. Just to get a reaction, then watch them slowly but surely embrace the band with you. Bands like this make music exciting. I don’t want to hear about how some good for nothing so and so broke your heart. Fuck that! I want the shit that matters, and what matters is found in UV Glaze.

UV Glaze take you off into this sinister world. They’re not holding your hand as they do so. Not at all. They don’t care if you follow them or not, but once you step into this mindfuck of a world you will never ever want to leave. Whatever you feel when you listen to them, just go with it. You don’t need mothering now. This band are here to kick you in places you’ve never been kicked before. They’ll wake you up with their demonic drums, their brutal guitars…everything. It will all make sense after one listen. After that, don’t look back on what you used to know. It’s all here, in UV Glaze.

You can stream some songs here:

And you can buy the music here:


6 04 2015

With it becoming a little warmer, I thought it would be best if I seek out some bands that don’t give off a warm feeling in their music. I thought I’d find a band that are suitable for foggy and stormy weather. The kind of weather that Jack The Ripper probably enjoyed.

Aside from having a pretty damn good band name Judy, You’re Not Yourself Tonight are yet again, another band that back fuel my love for duos. This gruesome twosome (they look pretty clean actually) have only two songs on their bandcamp page. That’s enough for me to go on, but obviously I want more.

JYNYT come from Berlin. A city I have yet to visit, but I am 100% sure that when I visit I won’t want to leave and will probably throw a really good tantrum in order to stay there. The Ramones museum will be like a religious trip for me, and I’ll probably beg the staff to give me a job there. That would more than likely be one of the best jobs in the world for me. Talking about the Ramones all day and staring at Joey’s clothes. Bliss.

JYNYT are loud and wonderful. These two things are destined to go together. Loud music is one of the best, I just love noise. Not a fan of loud people though. Silence from people is nice. They make proper noise, the kind you want to hear in creepy basement bars in an unfamiliar place. I know nothing about the band, but I know that their music is pretty special. They’ve got this way of sounding huge with only two of them being in the band. They release that dormant beast inside of you with their eerie sounds.

By obsessively listening to JYNYT for the past half hour or so, I’ve reached some kind of conclusion that they are a band that really come to life when you see them live. You can imagine La La beating the shit out of the drums and Ant Car flailing the guitar around with sweat falling from everyone around them and onto whoever. Their rowdy sound is ideal for cramped venues that smell of spilt beer and decades of bodily fluids.

I have no idea what they’re up to (I don’t know anything about them, and for the most part that makes it easier to write about them) but I know this, they are an exciting band to listen to and really, two songs just isn’t enough.

You can buy/stream their music on their bandcamp page:


21 12 2013

A while ago I wrote about a band called The Virgin Tongues. A band that are quite dear to me; a band that make music I really really love. A band that RIGHT NOW do need your help. The Virgin Tongues have not had it easy; but aside from those who take the easy way out and go on talentless shows, no band ever really has I suppose. Work for your art.

Whilst recording their debut release in Iceland, singer Duncan fell 32 ft the night before a show. Sustaining multiple injuries including damage to internal organs; he survived. Nothing can stop this band. They are fighters. They are a band to be proud of; a band to back.

They recently launched a fundraising campaign to get the band back together and to finish their debut record. You can read more about it here:¬†–2

The band were kind enough to use the words I’d written about them previously, which is far too kind of them. But that’s the kind of guys they are. Hard-working and caring; there’s no better band to back.

On Christmas Day, Duncan will feature on Ola’s Kool Kitchen. If that isn’t a brilliant name for a radio show, then I have no idea what is. You can follow Ola on Twitter: for more information about times for Duncan’s interview. The show will be broadcasted on the following: Radio23, Rock XS Radio and Magic Monster Radio. The show will¬†also feature Jason Holt from Spectrum. The show will be made up of 5 broadcasts over 3 stations with the first one on Christmas Day (Wednesday.)

Make sure you tune in; support radio and your new soon-to-be favourite band.

Thank you.