Author Archives: Olivia

Nick Cave.

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“Now the scaffold is high and eternity is near. She stood in the crowd but shed not a tear. But sometimes at night when the cold winds moan, in a long black veil she cries on my bones.”

I was very very young when I first became aware of Nick Cave. I used to spend a lot of time sitting in my uncle’s room at my gran’s. Staring at the guitar, the records, the books and the faces on the wall. The faces that later in my life, became the faces that became more than just a band. More than just a face on the wall. I am writing this with no sense of what I want to get out of it, let alone what I want to put into it. All I love about Nick Cave cannot be put into some silly article I have decided to write. Only a fragment of what I feel towards his music and all it means to me will be exposed. The rest is, as ever, kept in my heart. That’s the safest place for anything to be stored. You control what you let out, and what you let in. You know, it sure is hard to meet fellow fans of Nick Cave. It’s alright though, I know you’re out there. Listening to him. Letting him spew out exactly how you feel. You feel less alone don’t you?

So, I first became aware of Nick Cave at a tender age. I used to spend a lot of time at my gran’s house, whilst my mum worked. I’d make up games, listen to music, read, be read to, go for walks- happy and healthy, for the most part. This was all before I went to school. This was all before I was subjected to subjects that meant nothing to me. I think all along, I just wanted to sit and listen to music. Nothing has really changed. I doubt it ever will. I remember constantly asking my uncle about Nick Cave. I was drawn in immediately to this poster he had of him on his wall. I remember going upstairs sometimes just to stare at this poster. I was in awe, and I think part of me sort of had the idea that later in life- this man would be summing up how I feel towards most things. This man would be responsible for my obsession with words, poetry, love, life, death and the darkness. I’m not right about much in life, but I was right about this.

As I got older, certain songs became more than just  pieces of music. I will always regard Henry Lee as my favourite love based song of all time. I’m not much of a singer, but if I had a girlfriend I would make Henry Lee our song- I’d probably try persuade the poor girl to sing it along with me. In public and in private. Thing is, they’d have to love Nick Cave. So far, no luck! I’m not waiting around for it to happen. Some things just happen when they are supposed to don’t they. You can control the volume of the song you play, but you cannot control those you let in.

Nick Cave made me feel less alone with how I see the world, all around me and how I view myself. He also made me want to be a poet. I grew up on Patti Smith, Bob Dylan and Joan Baez- this is all where my love for words came from. As I got older, I realised my mum had a huge love for Nick Cave too. At this point, it was firmly instilled in me that I had to do something with words. Thing is, with all the notebooks I have filled with songs and poems- I think only two people have ever read what I have written down. I like to think I have improved as I got older. I love words that are dark and create a really tense atmosphere. I love songs like this too. Nick Cave is pretty much the God of all of this. Without him, I probably wouldn’t venture towards the dark side of literature as much.

Writing should be like a healing process, and also finding a part of you. Much like listening to music. I guess this is why I love Nick Cave so much. I love his solo work, Grinderman, The Birthday Part, The Bad Seeds- everything he has ever done, and continues to do is just perfect in my eyes. The passion in his voice makes every word he drawls out just land a place firmly in your heart. Fuck. It goes beyond the heart and soul. Sometimes, a musician gives you a way of life with their art you know? I hold this opinion on a few musicians such as Patti Smith, Ramones, Morrissey, The Kills and Warpaint. There is something about them all that prove comfort in a world that seems to thrive off bad vibes and back stabbing. I want no part in it, which is why I keep my headphones in.

There’s a strong sense of peace and wonder in his words. You think you’re forever lost, then you listen to a Nick Cave and it is like, “I am home. I am free.” It doesn’t matter which song that makes you feel this way because, well, they will ALL make you feel this way. Nick Cave makes you feel like he is your spirit animal, ya dig? It is like he drags out every ugly and unnamed feeling you have ever felt. But he makes it less daunting and less of a chore to feel. I’ve never really sat down and spoke with anyone about Nick Cave. If I had a bucketlist, that’d probably be on it to be honest. Simple means to lead to lasting pleasures. I think? I’m not sure. I like complicated and intense at times. But I’ll settle for a cup of tea. Make it strong.

I haven’t chosen certain songs or lyrics to mention as honestly, I just cannot do it. Pretty much every word Nick Cave has ever written down means the world to me, and more so it is impossible to list even, say five songs. I mean you’ve got songs like Into My Arms that make you want to sing it to the person you are really foolishly fond of. Then you have songs like The Moon Is In The Gutter that just makes you feel less horrific with yourself. Then you have Stranger Than Kindness and Long Black Veil which are etched upon your heart. It is just impossible. He’s not just someone you casually listen to. He is someone who is part of you. He’s left such an impact within your life that you honestly feel a bit sick thinking about life without his words. How awful that would be.

So there you have it. Another annoying ramble from myself   as to why I love, adore, respect and admire Nick Cave. I don’t even think I have conveyed it well enough. I don’t even think this is any good- but that doesn’t matter. It’s come from the heart, and that’s the best any of us can ever do.

“The moon is in the gutter. And the stars wash down the sink. I am the king of the blues, I scrape the clay off my shoes. And wade down the gutter and the moon.”

Be kind.

IAMX/Chris Corner.

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“You have been left alone. The creature of innocence. You lie for what you’re worth.”

There’s always a singer that goes beyond what is expected of them. They’re not just someone who spills their guts out on stage. They’re not just someone who manages to convey every frail and petrifying feeling you have burning inside of you. They’re that friend at 4am when no one else is around. They are the secure arms around you that you need when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. Thing is, you can always hit lower than rock bottom. There is something lower than that. It takes a lot to hit it, and it takes even more to get yourself up from out of it. The romanticism in suffering and aching has always been glorified by many singers and writers. Personally, I love it. Yet I know there are so many that would shy away from it. I say, never turn your back  on anything dark- for there will come a time in life where it will provide comfort.

I could easily sum this all up in one sentence. I could easily put my thoughts about Chris Corner into one small sentence, but he deserves more than that. He deserves more than a “He is a genius” kind of thing. So, as I respect him and love him more than most I say I love, he’s going to get a ramble of sorts. If you don’t love him or if you’re not a fan- then maybe this isn’t for you? I honestly don’t expect anyone to read this or anything like that. I guess I just need to offload my love for him somehow. I’m going to try. And with great efforts come hitting a wall, being lost for words. I am fully expecting to just struggle with getting the words out. I’ll try, as ever.

To even try to think why I love Chris/IAMX is enough to make my brain explode. It all started in 2007. I heard Nightlife for the first time. I was at Uni, and I had a sense of freedom. But something was holding me back. I’ve always been painfully shy. I know some may mistake it for arrogance. I’m not like that. I’m just shy, and I try my best to stop being that way most of the time. A lot of the time, I have nothing to say. Yet sometimes, I do have something to say. But I’ve learnt that keeping quiet is easier, you know? Why say it when someone gets the words out for you? That’s where Chris Corner comes in. Before I truly got into his music, I found myself reading his lyrics like a poem rather than giving in to the actual songs. I have so many songs by him that I could put in the “songs that saved my life” pile. One song in particular that just sums it all up has to be I Am Terrified. The sadness in this song is so overwhelming. I’d probably cry right now as I listen to it, but I’m far too tired. I feel as if I could sleep for a whole week and still be exhausted. I don’t know. I Am Terrified is like a plea of sorts and also owning up to not being strong. For so long I thought it was important to be tough. As I get older, I sort of feel, “well fuck it. I get sad sometimes but I’m okay for the most part. If I want to cry, I’ll go have a cry.” You should never fear what you feel- this is another valuable thing I have learnt from Chris Corner.

Have you ever been with someone who always demanded you be strong? Yet you know they are fucking you over? It happens to us all. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. You cannot avoid it. You’ll survive though, we all do. There’s no harm in hurt. It’s all on how you deal with it. You see, Chris Corner makes you feel as if he is talking to YOU. That every word he writes down then sings is made just for YOU. Why on Earth is this man not given the respect and love he does? Well, those that love him know that none of this matters. The love you have for him in your heart is enough. His music makes you believe you can survive and be what you need to be. The outcome doesn’t scare you. You can do this. You may feel alone, but you’ve got the music. Songs like Running just make you feel like you are not alone with how you feel. We are told to embrace being different, yet when we show a hint of it- we are shot down. Why is being true to yourself constantly seen as a battle? Set yourself free, and play Running. Play it through headphones. Play it when you are on your own; something will take you over. Just let it happen.

Without sounding like a massive pretentious prick, his music honestly sounds better at night time. As it gets dark, his music fills you with life. At night, that’s when most of us are alone (I don’t mean lonely. A person can feel lonely even when in the company of others) so you seek out a sound for a touch of comfort. I have played his music so many times in utter darkness and it honestly feels like my body is being taking into a different universe. Every feeling (that is positive) you truly feel and is heightened when you listen to IAMX at night. If I could drive, I’d probably play it loud and drive for hours and hours. Getting lost and not caring if I find my way back. You can take a journey like that inside your head anyway, can’t you.

Maybe I should’ve written this and taken some songs apart. But I decided to jut attempt to get out how his music makes me feel. There is love, power, disdain, fury, vulnerability, fear, raw and gentle all throughout his music. There are so many songs that just mean so much to me, but I truly challenge anyone (even if they claim to be tough) to not break down a bit whilst listening to This Will Make You Love Again. I played it once when I thought “oh fuck..my life is over.” We all have that moment in our lives. It is never over though is it? There’s always something to give us hope. I mean, I used to think I was someone who couldn’t love. I can love, but by no means does that mean I think I am loveable. I don’t think I am but hey..I’ve got music, right? The Alternative was like a crutch for me for so long. I listen to it religiously now, obviously I hold a lot of sentimental value to this record. It stopped me from sending myself crazy I guess. It’s just one of the most beautiful records I have ever heard and probably will ever hear. This Will Make You Love Again makes you feel okay with life. It makes you want to seek the one you wish to have, and play this to them- so they truly get it. Maybe they wouldn’t understand. If they don’t love IAMX or haven’t heard of Chris Corner, then find someone new.

I feel as if I could write about how much of a genius Chris is forever, yet at the same time- my words do not do him justice. I think the only way to end this is to quote one of the most beautiful verses of all time:

“When the joys of living just leave you cold. Frozen from the failing mess you’ve made your own. And if you want an ending to your screenplay life, well here’s the consolation that will change your heart and mind.”

 

Joey Ramone- Happy bloody Birthday.

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I idolise this man. I have done ever since I can remember. I fell in love with his perfect stage presence. His unconventional beauty. His lyrics. His music, his art, his wisdom- just him. You wanted to be just like him, you wanted to be friends with him. Some may use the word “cool” to describe him, but I find that word to be highly redundant. It’s such an empty word to describe a person. Joey deserves more than that, especially as today would’ve been his birthday.

I remember when I first heard the Ramones. My uncle was a Punk (and I firmly believe once it is in you, you are a Punk for life) and I used to be fascinated with his record collection. I still am. Most of what I love comes from his influence. I picked up a Ramones record and I was in awe of the artwork. They didn’t look like a band- they looked like a gang. You could tell by just looking at them that they had a “do or die” kind of approach. I personally believe that’s the best way to be. If you are not willing to bleed and ache for your art- then don’t do it. Never do something unless you are going to put your heart into it. That’s one of the many things Ramones taught me. I feel in debt to this band.

I had a Ramones hoodie. I let someone borrow it. I’m never getting it back. I pretty much lived in that hoodie. I just want it back. I need a new one. Sorry, about the outburst.

What I loved about Joey was how for most who didn’t know who he was, he probably seemed like a lanky daunting creature. His gangly frame completed with ripped jeans and a beaten leather jacket. Most probably would look at him and think “here comes trouble.” The only time he probably kicked up a fuss was on stage. Thrusting the mic stand about and yelling every word for you to scream back. I watch the old clips and just wish I was there. I have a couple of Ramones records on vinyl, and they are honestly one of the few treasured possessions I have. I don’t own anything expensive at all. If you’re going to mug me, I wouldn’t bother at all. I have no money and my bank card has snapped in half. I’m a walking mess and a disgrace to myself. I like to think my leather (not real leather) shields me from being approached by the likes of bible bashers and charity workers. I don’t want to be told I’m going to Hell nor do I have the money to send to someone else. I’ve been living off cup-a-soup. Feel free to send me YOUR money.

Joey was a gentle giant. Hiding behind his hair, was he really that shy? I think that was part of the appeal. From him, I learnt that being shy isn’t a bad thing so long as you have a way of letting it all out. Find a form of art to just let it all out.

Joey made me, and still makes me feel less hideous about my messy hair and my clothes that are falling apart. It doesn’t matter about the outside. Keep your insides pure and honest- and do what you have to do in order to keep yourself alive.

Joey, wherever you are, I hope you are having the best birthday ever. Thank you for being an inspiration and role model for someone like me. Much love xxxx

Belgrado.

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You know when you tell someone you really love foreign films, and you can see it in their eyes that they immediately think, “What a pretentious twat!” I’m going to assume this happens if you tell people you like bands that do not sing in English. You see, I love foreign films. It all started when I was in secondary school and my French teacher showed us Amelie. Like anyone with half a brain, I know it is a bloody brilliant film. I loved how it was shot. I’m such an arse when it comes to music or films- I don’t always pay attention to the outside of it. I usually pay attention to the production and such. I have no idea why, and I honestly hate it. I once took a notebook to a gig. The first gig I ever reviewed. But I realised very quickly that the best way to review it, was to be part of it. I usually write-up a gig review the day after so I can process everything that happened. I don’t have an amazing memory, but with gigs I do. I can remember dates, pointless facts and gigs. Obviously I know what is important in life.

Belgrado come from Barcelona. I’ve never been, so I won’t mention anything else about the place. Their music makes you feel like you are alive in the 80s when Siouxsie and Bauhaus were ruling the airwaves. Okay, so maybe they didn’t rule the airwaves so let’s pretend that they did and the 80s wasn’t made up of truly awful pop music. Much like it is now.  Belgrado are pretty new, and their debut LP came out around a year ago. It is basically one of the most underrated things to have happened yesterday. Better late than never, I suppose.

There are so many reasons as to why I love them. They have this brutal force in their music, and the vocals are so haunting. If The Cure are looking for a band to collaborate with, I’d recommend Robert Smiths gives these guys a listen. The haunting guitars would just cause a riot. In my head, this will one day happen. I’d love it too. Every song by Belgrado makes me feel like A Forest by The Cure does. This is what I look for in a band, in a song. If I don’t feel like that, I probably won’t give it all my attention. I’d say I’m like this with people but people are disappointing for the most part aren’t they? A song is easier to give yourself up to. A band is easier for you to trust and give every part of yourself too. Maybe it should be this way, maybe it shouldn’t. There is really no right or wrong in this. As ever, it is all a matter of personal choice.

To even try to compare Belgrado to anyone else is pretty silly. Sure they have a huge 80s gothic sound going on, and they will make fans of the typical bands happy. But they have something different going on. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe it is because they play with such a raw force, maybe it is because of the female vocals that make the songs a touch more gentle. There are so many reasons as to why I love Belgrado, but the main one is that they blow whatever is left of my mind.

Warpaint-Set Your Arms Down.

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“You’ve got to try.” 

When you love something or someone with everything you have, you notice different parts and features every single time you are faced with it. I guess it keeps the love and attraction going. There are different ways of being in love. When you’re in love with a band, it goes beyond that feeling of being in love with a person. A person that you may or may not be with. Then again, if the feeling isn’t reciprocated is it even real on your behalf? You don’t have to think about it. If I were you (and let’s be glad you are not me) I wouldn’t bother wasting your thoughts on it. Direct it all towards a different thing. Go read a book, go for a nap- shut off. When I feel like I just don’t want to be bothered, I just listen to music. I listen to one specific band. It doesn’t take a genius to know it is of course, Warpaint.

My love for Warpaint is one I will openly write about here. I don’t think anyone actually understands what it means to me when I get a comment or email about Warpaint and how I write about them. I’m told I manage to get out how I feel about the band in a way the person wishes they could. Thing is, Warpaint make me feel I can be totally honest and open. Since being a fan of theirs, it is like I have allowed myself to get rid of ugly feelings and replace them with something worthy of feeling. They give you this sense of openness that doesn’t make you ashamed of who you are. We all struggle at some point with who we are. You can be so together on the outside, but inside you’re a mess. Sometimes a band is all that can put you back together again. I probably wouldn’t be so laid back and calm if it wasn’t for Warpaint.

Warpaint teach you to let go. I mean really really let go. A piece of music that sounds like a battle cry for the soul, well- that’s sometimes all you need. That’s why I’m going to attempt to write about The Fool opener, Set Your Arms Down.

Setting your arms down can be seen as dropping your weapons. Giving up to your defenses and facing up to what you are, and who you are. Not to mention all you have done. I remember hearing this record and being in awe of every single build-up in every song. Even in songs like Baby,m there is a sense of intensity in that song that is overwhelming but quickly turns into one of the most vulnerable songs I have ever heard.

Set Your Arms Down is a perfect album opener. As they tell you to set your arms down, you feel it is an instruction for the listening process of the record. You must surrender to this band. You must give it up for Emily, Theresa, Jenny and Stella. They must have every single part of you as you listen to them. Thing is, Warpaint are not a band you just play in the background. They aren’t a band you tidy the house to or play for friends. They are a band you play if you want answers. They are a band you play when you want to find the part of you that has been missing for so long. They take you on a journey that you cannot ever imagine taking with anyone else. They become, with first listen, a part of you. They become a way of life.

I guess sometimes when I write about Warpaint it is like a catharsis. Like I am cleansing myself of something by listening to them and writing it down. A lot of the time, I just throw away how I feel or how certain things make me feel. Warpaint chase away all that fear. It begins on The Fool with Set Your Arms Down. The lyrics really really mean a lot to me. It is like they are telling you to give it all up and face everything. Keep trying, because it’ll be okay. It is basically like a swift kick up the arse. The intense vibe in this song is so powerful. The instrumental towards the end makes you feel as if everything you fear in life is coming towards you- and you are stood frozen. Without your defences, facing it all. The song ends, and it is totally up to you now how you deal with the outcome. Are you going to fight off all you fear? Or are you going to remain a coward?

My favourite lyric in this beautiful song has to be:

“Walk through the fire, walk ’till it gets light.  There is no hiding to  save your life.”

I just find it to be so important, and so true. You have to walk through hell in order to get to where you want to be. You can try to hide as much as you want, but you cannot escape all that bothers you, and at times consumes you. You just can’t That’s what I take from this song. I know I probably seem borderline mental with my love for Warpaint, but everyone has a band that give them a feeling of being able to do anything. Being able to face up to all they must. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that Warpaint give me courage. I don’t know how it is for any real Warpaint fan- but I know that there are some out there who feel this way. Warpaint don’t just sum up how you feel- they also make sense of it. Sometimes it isn’t in their lyrics, sometimes it is just the way their music flows through you.

I have played Set Your Arms Down on repeat so many times whilst going for walks. Walking to nowhere in particular. Sometimes you just need to get out and clear your heard. Warpaint do that. They cleanse you and clear your head in a way that no other band comes even remotely close to doing.

There’s a change on this song. Theresa does the drumming on this song, and she plays equally as strong as Stella. The guitars sound like water flowing through, whilst the bass-line feels like the part of you that is being held together. The song doesn’t lead you astray, it holds you together. Warpaint make you feel like you can do anything, even if you’re a shy and sensitive soul like myself; they kind of bring you out of your shell a bit. Although you cannot physically share what they have given you with anyone else, as it so sacred- you keep it in your heart, nobody can take that from you. Ever.

Forloco-Foxx.

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A couple of months back, I wrote about a brilliant band from Leeds. As someone is half Yorkshire-ish (it’s probably not the right word) I will probably love you if you are from the best county in the UK. I don’t care if your music is cack, if you’re from there- I will find it in my heart to adore you. Luckily, Forloco aren’t cack. Far from it.

They’ve got a new track out, it is called Foxx. When I first played it this evening, I played the first minute over and over because it gave me that ethereal feeling you get when you listen to The xx. You know that sort of spaced out feeling that makes you feel like you are the only person in the universe to feel that specific feeling? That pretty much happened.

I’ve had the song on repeat for a while now, and I am in awe of the tension in this song. It has this incredible build-up in it that you find in The Cure and such. A 80s gothic vibe slips and slides its way throughout the track. You expect it to be utterly menacing right from the start. The song makes you feel like you have been abandoned in the woods and this song is your way out. Your salvation. I don’t want to seem like someone who uses mental images in order to make themselves sound like they are a good writer. Far from it. I don’t write this way because I’m pretentious. I’m really not. I just have a massive imagination, probably the kind an author has- but I do not have it in me to write a book. I use this blog as an outlet to convey how music makes me feel and to promote new bands that you MUST hear. I don’t think I’m good at what I do, whatever it may be. I’m just someone who loves music and wants to share this with anyone who is willing to read. I hope you download this track by Forloco (it is free, I don’t have an issue with bands doing this. I do have an issue however, with people illegally downloading music!)

I want you to download this track. I want you to go listen to it on your own. Turn your phone off. Put your headphones in. Let Forloco take you to another world. Metaphorically let your hand be held, and let every thought and every shit feeling you posses leave you. Just let go, and enjoy the moment.

It’ll be the best 5 minutes you spend today.

You can get the track from here : http://soundcloud.com/forloco/forloco-foxx-17th-may

Alpines-Empire (video.)

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If Kate Bush had a musical baby with Siouxsie Sioux, and got a bit of Depeche Mode in on it too- they would create Alpines. A few months ago I finally got to see them live. I stood still for their set. I didn’t move. I was in some kind of trance. Thing is, when I listen to them normally, I have the same reaction. You know when you hear something and it just stops you in your tracks? Everything just stuns you. You cannot wrap your head around it all because it, and I loathe the word so much, but it has this epic feel to it. Thing is, I don’t mean it in that annoying way that people use that word. They’re use the ones that use “LOL” or “FTW” when they TALK to you, and all you can do is picture several ways to leave them with a bloody lip. I’m using the word epic in its truest form.

Alpines create music that has this very grand but dark feel to it. Most of their songs have this intense build-up. You think you know when it is coming, when the final throe occurs. But they catch you off guard. Alpines are EASILY one of the best duos around. You can put them right next to Beach House with regard to creating euphoric music that hits you in the SOUL. It goes deeper than hitting you in the pit of your gut and the depths of your heart. Your soul is captured by these sounds.

The video to Empire is wonderfully dramatic, much like the song. Dark ,eerie, big and takes over every single part of you.

Crocodiles.

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“I’m a stranger in the holy land,
But I keep my strangeness close at hand.”

 

I compare most (music based) things to how I felt the first time I ever heard Garbage, The Cure, The Smiths and The Jesus And Mary Chain. If I don’t feel slightly corrupted, violated or thrown into some kind of trance- then I hold no hope of ever being a fan. I need to feel something so strange, brutal and beautiful all at once when listening to a band, especially with music. I’d say I know what this makes me, but I really don’t. Aside from being weird, that’s all I can take from this. Then again, we cannot define “normal” because it is just a social ideal that doesn’t exist. It is there to make most of us hate ourselves. If you hate yourself a bit, then it’s okay. You know why? Because there’s probably more us that carry a touch of self-hate around than there are of us that actually like, let alone love ourselves. Feel the fury, feel the frustration. Maybe one day I’ll write a book. I won’t. That’s just another thing I’ll never do. So with this stale introduction to a band that are the opposite, I’m going to try put into words as to why I am in love with Crocodiles and have been for the past 3 and a half years.

It all started with feeling low. It started with feeling so low whilst in a shop that sold albums, and stuff. I was going through anything. Everything. To find an album that could possibly get rid of this feeling. You know the feeling, the “love of your life” ends things with you for the final time and you get summoned back to your mother’s because she thinks you’ll go off the rails. Thing is, as fucked up as I felt inside- I did pretty damn well. I turned to music, and let it do the healing. I bought two records that day. One by Cold Cave, the other by Crocodiles. I’d heard of both bands before- and the artwork to both records drew me in. Simply powerful. I went home and played them. Whatever took me over that day made me feel better than anything else possibly could. They say you don’t forget your first love. I say in time, you forget certain things. Or you do the wise thing and don’t ever think about it because clinging onto the past will harm you in so many ways. I don’t understand people who cling onto the past you know? You get your heart broken, you get on with life. I managed to do that when I bought these two records. Both records allowed me to free myself from this cloud of misery I thought would stay with me forever. Basically, I grew up.

 

I found something in Crocodiles that I reckon those who were around when The Jesus And Mary Chain first started found. That feeling of, being sucked into something so dark and sinister- it gives you comfort. As person, you are told to never feel anything dark. Hell, most would rid us of emotions if they could. With Crocodiles (and TJAMC) they just sucked me into this world of all things dark. I wanted to do nothing but listen to them all the time. I’d walk to work, play Crocodiles. I’d go to the gym, play Crocodiles. Read, play Crocodiles. They weren’t just part of a healing process I had to drag myself through, but they showed me a world I could create that no one could ever touch. They opened a part of me up that was so fucking reserved and miserable They killed that part of me, and helped me become the person I probably should’ve been much sooner. Things take time.

I’m fully aware that I’ve gone disgustingly personal with this, but you’ll never meet me probably. Anyone who knows me will never read this. You’ve already made up your mind. If you think I’m an ass, you may be right. You may be wrong. We all have good days, we all have bad days. I may dress in all black and look like a moody bitch. Truth is, I laugh at most things. Mainly myself though. Pay people no mind. What’s the point. Through being a fan of Crocodiles, I learnt to stop caring what a person thinks about me. I learnt that I have to do things my way. Music sets parts of you free that people try to restrain. I’m not one for actually listening to what I’m told to do. I rarely ask for advice. If I’m going to fuck up, I’m doing it on my own. I am not taking anyone down with me.

Summer Of Hate gave me this confidence and belief to carry on. I’d just finished Uni and, I had no idea what to do with my life. I graduated 3 years ago, and I think I’m sure of what I want to do. It’s just making it happen, which is proving to be a pain in every part of me. I’m tougher than I think, so I won’t give up. Move on a year later, and Sleep Forever comes out. The exact same feelings hit me again. Creepy vibes and sinister trances. I think it was obvious by this point that Crocodiles were becoming more than just a band to me. The romanticism in their music gives me hope. They talk about life and love the way not many of us see it. Which is why I love them so much; they say everything I feel without me having to open my mouth. I only open my mouth to sing along. I remember hearing Mirrors, and even now it still gives me such a euphoric feeling. That feeling of knowing, you can amount to something. That what you’re doing is right- so fuck anything and anyone who tries to tell you no, and that you ain’t worth shit. Girl In Black is one of my favourite love songs ever. I’m going to put it right next to Lovesong by The Cure. It is THAT heartfelt and honest. The longing in Brandon’s voice is so beautiful. You also hear a wonderful sense of poetry that is greeted with so much sensitivity in the song, Sleep Forever : “I will love you til the sky above you. Shatters over you and me. And lays us down to sleep forever.” That is what REAL and unconditional love is. We should never fear feeling it or giving it out.

 

Writing this is easy, which is probably why it may not read so well. I’m putting most of what I have right now into this. I’m not sure why. Sleep Forever is much darker than Summer Of Hate. The lyrical content is quite ghoulish. The music compliments the desperation in Brandon’s voice so beautifully. You feel traumatised, you feel as if you are about to tip over the edge- and for some, this is a daunting thing to feel. The best thing you can do when you are faced with any fear, is to just kick it right in the face. Face it head on, and make it your bitch. Simple. Although, it can be easier said than done.

Real soon, their third record is going to come out- Endless Flowers. I honestly cannot tell you how excited I am for this. I am ready for what they have to offer. You see, Crocodiles are another sacred band of mine. I don’t have any friends that listen to them at all. I don’t know if I could listen to them with anyone, I’d probably be a bit hurt if they didn’t connect to them like I do. You cannot please everyone, and I stopped trying a long time ago to do so. Crocodiles are one of the very few bands that helped me toughen up a bit. I should probably feel like an idiot for being this open. Whatever. Crocodiles are worth it. Oh, and they fully fuel (and justify) my love for bands from California.

There are so many things that drew me in to Crocodiles. They have this amazing 60s girl group feel in their production. Then you have this wonderful merge of something reverby and psychedelic going. They just combine everything I love about music, and make something that blows my mind with every single listen. I’d call it soulful too. What Crocodiles mean to me is exactly what Dum Dum Girls mean to me, what The Kills mean to me and what Warpaint mean to me. All have created sounds that make you so glad to be alive. Sure the music can get dark, but through the dark you always find hope. And when you find hope, you MUST..you MUST hold onto it.

Give the people hell, and smile.

Jay-Z – Reasonable Doubt.

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Hip Hop was, and still is a huge part of my life. The good rappers, the ones with something to say are poets. Some are more articulate than others. Some take you to that place they intended their music to take you. Some make you feel part of the nightmare that they are vocalising. I love words, and anyone who has a way with words will always claim a piece of my heart. I guess my love for words comes from wishing to have the ability to have a way with words. I’m one of those twerps who, getting information from- it’s like getting blood out of a stone. If you must find out how I feel about you, ask me to write you a poem or song. Some I have found the heart to actually say it to, in my own way. Hip Hop taught me how to be honest in a way that I didn’t know a person like me could. What kind of person am I? I ask myself that more than I should. So, Hip Hop became another outlet for me during secondary school.

I got into Jay-Z’s music two years after Reasonable Doubt came out. I think I was reading Vibe magazine (I had a subscription for it, I was cool!) I was just in awe of this article about him. I was drawn into everything he said. I felt connected to a person who I had never listened to- but it was enough. So, I saved up and bought Reasonable Doubt. Within the first few weeks of owning it, I ruined it. It got scratched because I played it to death. But I knew..I just knew that I was listening to one of the greatest records ever. It goes beyond being a brilliant debut record. It became the blueprint of how Hip Hop should be, at that time. I own every Jay record. He became a massive obsession, he still is. I can quote every song on Reasonable Doubt and The Blueprint. The Blueprint got me through hell and back. Song Cry broke my heart then, and it still does now. If I could list the people who influence me- Jay would be right up there. To make something out of nothing, I respect you with all I have. Do what you must, and stay true to your heart. To yourself.

I love Jay because regardless of race, religion, background, anything- you can relate to at least one of his songs. Reasonable Doubt just did something to me that maybe a teenager growing up on an Island in the middle of the Irish Sea wasn’t meant to relate to. But I could. It was the frustration and his way with words that just hit me right in the heart.

The samples used on this record are insane. It should be a crime to sample so good. My personal favourite sample has got to be The Look Of Love by Isaac Hayes on Can I Live, which is probably one of the stand-out tracks on the record, I mean check this out for a lyric:

“It gets tedious,
So I keep one eye open like, C-B-S.”

If you don’t know, the CBS logo is of one eye. Smart right? Of course. Jay doesn’t really jot down his lyrics, he memorisies them. He’s more than a rapper, more than a poet. The man is a bloody lyrical genius. Just when you think you’ve heard something stunning, he pulls out another line that just blows your mind. The songs on Reasonable Doubt cause you to pull a mental face and just nod your head to every single beat. You spot the samples, causing you to hear the original in a way that is different from to how you used to.

There’s so much honesty on this record. With the honesty comes life lessons (Regrets) and pain. This record can teach anyone all they need to know about life. From being slapped in the face with disappointment to how you deal with it. Foxy Brown and Biggie appear on this record. Big deal, right? Mary J Blige too. Going by this, there’s no way you can deny just how powerful this debut record was, and still is. It’s one that so many rappers still label as a huge influence. If Jay can do it, then anyone can? Well, maybe not. Has there really been anyone as big as him since? I’d put Mos Def, Talib Kweli and Common right up there as being as influential. But Jay..Jay took it to the mainstream. Showing that Hip Hop isn’t all a big show-off stunt, you know? Theres’s so much depth, so many layers to it. You cannot ignore a movement that is louder than a battle cry.

From a personal perspective, this record caused me to go way back with Hip Hop. It fueled my obsession with Eric B & Rakim, Big Daddy Kane and Kurtis Blow. I went back and listened to what influenced Jay, and just studied it all. When I wasn’t doing school-work, I was researching all I could about Hip Hop. I found it to just be so brutally fascinating. I was immersed in the culture of it, and what it was capable of. It was bringing people together from all walks of life- so how on earth could this genre be classed as a menace to society? It pained me to hear people disrespect this genre by saying it was all about degrading women and bragging about what you had, and how you got it. They were missing the point. The mainstream was parading Hip Hop about in a degrading way, totally missing the point and ignoring those that were being true to the genre.

I managed to sort of fix my copy of Reasonable Doubt, it still skips a few tracks at times. But it is still one of the most important records in my life. It just drove me to be obsessed with words. How they are written down and how you say them. Jay’s lyrics on Reasonable Doubt, well..I will always stand-by declaring it shows him at his best. Sure his records after have been incredible but there is something about Reasonable Doubt that just blows my mind harder than his other records. The production is out of this world, Jay’s lyrical delivery is stunning. I could praise this record until my mouth drys and I come close to running out of words.

If you’ve heard it/own a copy, then you know just how perfect it is. It is how a debut record should be: going against everything and being unlike anything you have ever heard before.

 

John Peel Creative Arts Centre: We NEED It.

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I used to always change my mind about what I wanted to do with my life when I was younger. I’m 25 now, and I sometimes have this internal battle with what I should be doing with my life. All I know is that it MUST involve music. That’s all I have ever known. My love for music hit me at an early age. I was always being sung to or music was played around the house. It became my life from very early on. From Muddy Waters to The Jesus And Mary Chain; it was constantly being played to me. From my mum, my uncle and from one person who really made me aware of what I wanted to do with my life, John Peel.

If it wasn’t for John Peel, I really wouldn’t have such a huge obsession for music. It’d just be another thing I acknowledge I suppose. My memory isn’t exactly my best quality. But I do remember listening to him for the first time. I was very young. I must have been in my first few years of Secondary School. I couldn’t sleep one night, so I hid under the covers and put the radio on. A man was talking, and the way he was talking about the records he was playing really hit me. He was so enthusiastic about it all, in his own way. He didn’t have to yell or use daft words to describe it all. The fact that he was talking to you as if you were sat next to him made you connect with not just the music he was playing, but you also connected with him on a personal level. When you hit your teenage years, you search for something. You’re lost, utterly lost and you need something or someone to show you. I do believe that night I first listened to John Peel made me realise what I wanted to do with my life. I had to be a Music Writer..somehow.

I could honestly talk about how much he meant, and still means to me to anyone who is willing to listen. As most shut me up when an outburst is about to occur, I unleash it all here. So, a rant of sorts may or may not happen. And for that, I do not offer you an apology.

The arts are fundamental to society. We live in a world where being negative and cruel to others is seen as a way to get places in life. I guess that’s why I may not amount to much. I cannot be cruel in order to get what I want. If I want something bad enough, I’ll do the right thing in order to get it. The arts provides a way of helping people- especially the young, find a home. Find something they are good at. A film could inspire someone to be a director. A song could make someone want to be a record producer. Everything has the potential to be an influence. So why oh why would we want to stop this? Why? Maybe it is because within the arts, you may never make a lot of money. Maybe I’m too laid back for my own good- but I’d much rather do something I love than be filthy rich. That’s just me. I’d change my outlook, but I don’t want to. If the passion isn’t there, if you don’t do something with all your heart-do NOT do it. That’s just how I go about my life really.

This is where I need your help. I need YOUR help to make a difference because it is the RIGHT thing to do. As music lover, this is vital.

Bradford is a place that many are willing to launch so many negative slurs and whatnot. The thing is, it has more to offer than you could possibly know. I’m not saying this because half of my family are from Yorkshire..or maybe I am. Biased few aside, this is truly a vital cause and one that has my unconditional support, and attention.

http://www.cityoffilm.co.uk/

The above link will tell you all about how important it is that we SAVE the Bradford Odeon. The cinema is a historical landmark to the city, and what makes it so special is that it was bought with public money. Labelled as the City of Film- how on earth can we let such a building with so many memories be listed as a building to knock down. Knocked down and turned into a glass office and apartment block. Because you know, we need more of them. NO. Just NO. Enough is enough. On the link above, there is a page with information on how to save this landmark.

I’m not writing this because I want to seem like a decent person. Far from it. I’m writing this from the heart because like all involved with saving this building, I see why it MUST be saved. And if by a stroke of luck it does get saved from being demolished, the idea has been brought up to turn it into the John Peel Creative Arts Centre.

http://www.johnpeelnorth.org/

This link gives you EVERYTHING you need to know about the Centre. You can also sign the petition right here : http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/john-peel-north/

The Centre would provide so much. Not just for Bradford, but all of the UK. It’d be a hub of experimental sounds, the chance to listen to Peel’s archive.  The potential of the John Peel Creative Arts Centre is insane. John Peel was well-known as being the guy who would bring you the best in new music, and also give you the best hidden gems from the past. This Centre, if it happens, would carry on his legacy in a way that will continue to influence generations to come to be found- and to find their talent and what they are passionate about.

To turn your back on something like this and to favour a pointless building being built in the place of history, and something that could change so many lives is just wrong, and disgusting.

I seriously cannot express how important this is. Please get involved in any way you can. Do it for John Peel, do it for future generations to come, so they have some hope and the chance to be part of something that can enrich their lives and the community.

Thank you.

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