“And in a while,
You start a smile.
The earth is wild,
We’ve got no time.”
When something happens, I am fortunate enough to be one of those people who just let it go. My teenage years were made up of nagging thoughts that I was sure would haunt me forever; they thankfully leave in time. Those nagging thoughts were replaced with something else. They were replaced with just attempting to take it easy on myself. I have good days and bad days. My own worst critic. It’s alright. But something happened exactly two weeks ago at about 9pm. Something happened that just will not leave me alone. You know who is to blame? Alex Scally and Victoria Legrand. Beach House.
I’ve already written about seeing them two weeks ago in London. I can’t read it because I’ll want to add more and more. This is post-gig something or other. I need a word for it, but it isn’t happening. At first I thought it was just the gig in general that did something to me. Turns out it is one song in particular. One song which I didn’t expect to do anything to me. I was wrong, again. So bloody wrong.
I honestly thought Take Care or Myth would be the songs that would ruin me after the gig (during the gig, we don’t talk about it. They played them after each other. It was like they knew!!) Beach House opened with Wild. I’ve had a soft spot for this song, but over the past few weeks I have learnt that it is more important to me than any other song right now. I wish I knew why, but I think I need to let that go. I have to, because I will just sit and play it over and over trying to work it out. I’m pretty much doing that now as I type. Maybe I’ll get some answers after I’ve written this. Or the obvious will happen; I’ll stay frustrated with this thought and resign myself to the fact that Wild is a gorgeous song.
Victoria’s voice live is as perfect as it is on record. Her voice is equally as delicate and so perfect. People say perfection doesn’t exist, but I think you can make exceptions. Victoria’s voice is an exception. My girlfriend, who came with me to the gig, wasn’t really a Beach House fan- now she is. THANK YOU BEACH HOUSE! Anyway. Victoria’s voice on Wild for some reason holds something different to her voice on other songs. As she sings “Wild in our ways, go on pretending” towards the end of the song, it sounds like a plea. A plea to just cling onto youth and dreams. To cling onto whatever keeps you safe in your thoughts. The drums on this live were stunning. The felt like a gentle rumble within the soul and the way Alex plays the guitar just feels like you are watching the sun rise. Everything about this song is pure. It truly comes to life when you witness it live. I think two weeks ago I had some kind of epiphany but I really cannot work out what it was.
I remember when I bought Bloom when it came out last year. I just played New Year constantly. It was the song I really became obsessed with. Then I started to just playing the whole record over and over. I realised that every Beach House song has always summed up feelings that have no names. Maybe they do have names, but the way in which Beach House project it is much more beautiful. Part of me thought, maybe this feeling happened whilst witnessing Wild live was because I had the one I completely and utterly love next to me. Would I have felt this way if I went with a friend? Probably, because I did feel like it was just me and the band in the room. Sure I was aware that others were there, but that gig was one moment I wish I could relive for the rest of time.
Wild just evokes so much. I was walking home from the gym last night just playing it over and over. The sun was going down, and I was walking down this road that seemed to go on forever. When the drums kicked in, a car went past quite fast with its lights on full beam. It fitted perfectly with the song. Obviously the driver didn’t know I was listening to this song and probably didn’t even see me there. But when you wander around (I do this a lot) listening to music, you create scenes in your head. It didn’t feel like real life, and we all know that real life can be a drag at times. I felt like I was in a daze but at the same time- the full beam lights did something. As did the song.
I’ve not written this for any reason. I don’t think there’s a reason to it. You don’t need to justify everything. However, I am none the wiser as to what Wild did to me 2 weeks ago and what it is still doing to me. Maybe it has given me some hope. I need it. Maybe it has given me some secret form of strength. I don’t know if I need that. Wants and needs are so very different, but sometimes they are exactly the same. Maybe the song is saying its okay to be a bit careless at times and to just carry on. We grow up in our own ways. We don’t need to say “Well, I am *insert age* and know it all.” You know nothing, that’s why you’re alive because you are learning as you go. Make all the mistakes you can and learn. You don’t need to broadcast to all what you have learnt. Keep it to yourself. I advise you to listen to Wild. If it makes you feel like it has made me feel, please let me know. Maybe you have a word for it. Or maybe you just “get it.” I don’t know.
I think Wild is just going to be one of those songs that I will treasure for the rest of my life, and when I hear it everything will be perfect and pure in my mind and soul.