Writing this is as awful as telling someone you “like” them. You know that nauseating feeling that kicks in when you are about to spill your heart, and words just fall out. Words that make no sense, words that go over the other person’s head; and you have no idea what’s going on. This is what this is like, except there is no bad outcome from this. Thing is, I feel whatever I write will not justify just how amazing Patti Smith is. I could write this as a look at her inspiring career or as a review of a specific album. But, as it’s her 65th birthday today- I feel some kind of open letter is the only way. So, that is what this is going to be. An open letter to my idol, my role model- Patti Smith. I’m not going to apologise for anything I say- no matter how honest I am. Never apologise for being honest. One of the many things Patti taught me.

I’m fully aware she will never ever see this, but sometimes- you’ve just got to let it out.

Dearest Patti,

Aside from my mum you are the only person I have ever admired to the point where, when I grow up- I want to be just like. I’m only 25 years old, and I have a lot of growing to do as a person. I don’t think we ever stop growing as people-emotionally and mentally. I first heard your music when I was, well, before I was 13- I know that. I’m pretty sure I saw something on a music channel, but as I was so young I just carried on as normal. I revisited your work when I was around 16/17. That horrific age where you know nothing but think you do. I knew nothing; I probably still don’t. My teenage years were years I am grateful I never have to go through again. You were, like Morrissey, my comfort blanket. You see, I’ve never really fit in with anything or anyone. I’ve never had a place in any social group. I just carry on and do whatever. I’ve never had many friends; I’ve always had books and records as my own. It gives you more inner peace and a sense of self more than a person could. I’d always lose myself in a book or a piece of music. When I heard Horses, and you chanting “Go Rimbaud go!” Something just clicked. I cannot describe what it is, I really can’t. All I know is that, you made an emotionally exhausted teenager feel something other than self hate.

Your words are poetry, and your songs are a glimpse of Heaven that no other could ever touch on. Everyone goes on about how a person taught them to love and what love is. I used to think I was one of them; I was wrong. I discovered what love was when I heard Frederick. All I hear in that song is the meaning of true love. What it is to really devote yourself to a person. What it really is to admire another person in a way that is so unconditional, peaceful and unselfish. It is such a pure love song; it makes you want to find your very own Frederick. If more people felt that way about others, then maybe we’d live in a peaceful universe. But we don’t. I firmly believe it is important to find inner peace before you try to solve the world.

Speaking of inner peace, I’ve never been one for feeling okay with who I am. I’ve never been one for not accepting myself. I’ve never seeked approval from other’s. I seemed to constantly fight with myself over many years over who I was, and what I was. You know how it is. Kid realises they are gay, kid starts to hate themself because society frowns upon it. I could’ve stayed in that dark place so easily. So fucking easily. But, I played your music. I played your music and connected. I realised that my sexuality doesn’t define me. Nothing defines a person. When you seek to define yourself, you lose sight of who you are. Your music was my light at the end of a tunnel that I thought had no light. You were my light, my absolute crutch. Did you ever think your music would have this much impact?

It took me just one day to read all of Just Kids; I can safely say that it changed everything for me. Much like Albert Camus did. You know what Arthur Rimbaud is to you? Well Patti, that’s exactly what you are to me. I read your lyrics, I read your interviews, I listen to your songs- all with the utmost attention. It all makes me feel something that I really cannot put into words. Your art, because that is what it is, your art just makes me glad to be alive. A lot of people list teachers from school as their greatest teacher. The ones that make them want to learn and to find their calling. For me, it was you. It was you who got me into all the great writers and musicians.

Your intelligence and passion is a rare qaulity that so many people seem to now lack. There will never ever be another person like you, especially in the music industry. You were such an incredible force that was hugely needed. But you know what? You still are needed, you always will be. You were (and will always be) the Godmother of the genre that stole my heart and owns my heart-Punk. Punk wasn’t just a genre of music, it was a way of life- it was a being. A movement that shook up music in a way that nothing else has ever done. And probably will never do.

I know, I know that these words will never reach you- and I know that I’m not the only one who feels this way about your music, and the way you have changed lives. You’ve done more than change my life- you made me find this strength and peace I never thought I had. I studied your lyrics more intensley during my last year of University a few years ago, I learnt so much- and your work just makes me want to be a better writer. I always want to be better; but I never seem to get there. I guess, having this mindset just makes me work harder and practice constantly. I always have something I can write with in my pocket.

Patti, this is only small fragment of what your music has done for me. I found your music when I felt so fucking lost; you saved this lost soul. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart and with all my soul- thank you.

Olivia x