You don’t have to have known me years (I pity you if you do, I’m sorry) to know that lyrics are vital to me. For me, they’re just the most powerful part of a song. I don’t care much for key changes. I adore a drum that sounds so big it shatters my skull or a guitar riff that makes every part of me just tremble in a state of awe. It’s always going to be lyrics that blow my mind and leave me feeling something I struggle to put into words.

This is probably going to get personal, but I’m going to try my best to not go into too much detail. I don’t need you to know and you don’t need to know do you? No. Of course you don’t.

On Monday night, I saw Scroobius Pip. I was already aware that he’s a fantastic lyricist, but he did a song and…wow. This song just felt like someone had got inside of my mind and written everything I have been thinking and feeling since the start of the year. I’m not a great person. I mess up royally at times, no issues with admitting I’m wrong because I rarely know when I’m right. When he was stood right in front of me doing this song, something took over every single part of me. Something that I guess you can only get from a live show. Everyone has moments in their lives when something just clicks- one of my moments happened then.

This song made me realise that, as a person, you just cannot live your life in order to make others happy. You cannot please everyone. Fuck it. You’ve GOT to do things for you. You’ve got to keep good people around you, that make you feel of worth. You’ve got to be true to yourself in order to escape other peoples lies. I listen to this song, and it just makes me glad that I haven’t given up on what I want. This song gave me hope. This song made me realise that I’m not as bad as most make me out to be. This song has fast become one of the most important things I’ve EVER heard.

I find the honesty in Pip’s lyrics to be so inspirational, and sadly underrated. His way with words just makes me wish I had the guts and talent to do something with all the songs I’ve written. However, I don’t want to be painfully open with strangers. I’m content with my mum and two close friends knowing me inside out. I read the lyrics to Broken Promise, and I feel like writing them on walls or shouting it from a rooftop. It just pours out all the frustration I contain towards myself and others. It’s such a brutally accurate song that anyone can relate to.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t who you thought I was,
Fuck it– I’m sorry I wasn’t who I thought I was.
I said no matter what, I’d always be there, but that wasn’t honest,
Because I’m not.”

If you’ve never felt this way, you must be a robot. Heck..I reckon robots must feel something like this at some point. You must have been made to fee like shit by people you know all the time for not being the way the way you want them to be. Thing is, why should you be how they want you to be? If you do that, you’re living a lie. You’re not being true to yourself. I was ALWAYS raised with the strong belief that I should always be true to myself. My mum always put that moral to me, just always. It doesn’t matter what kind of person you turn out to be- just be you, and be honest. You can’t always be there for people. You can only hold another person together for so long before you fall apart yourself. It’s hard, but when you have a song like this- you start to feel less and less bad for not meeting expectations. I expect nothing from anyone, it means I don’t have to face that dreaded disappointment another person can give you, and it’s hard to shake off.

“I wasn’t cursed with a dark side, I was just normal,
Average, regular, nothing special, I’m telling you.
Just being human makes you both God and the Devil’s clear replica.”

I’m not ashamed to admit to how much I can relate to this certain part of the song. People are quick to make you feel bad for the feelings to carry around with you. I’ve learnt that it’s okay to feel bad, it’s okay to be happy. There was a time this year where I hated myself so much. I hated everything about me and the person I was. But you’ve GOT to keep yourself close to things and people that give you worth. People are always quick to take and take from you. You need that equal balance. I also learnt a while back that, if you keep yourself surrounded by people who are always projecting how bad they feel onto you, and their insecurities- you start to feel low about yourself. We all have good days and we all have bad days. I can relate to this part so much. I’m nothing special at all. Far from it, I’m just another person on this planet who’s contributed nothing to the Universe.

“I’ve had my emotions crushed and maybe crushed a few along the way,
And at the time, I meant every single word I would say.
Every word of love, and every word of hate,
Every time I would adore, and every time I’d berate.
But time passes, and sometimes those emotions fade,
Making liars of both the threats and the promises made.”

We’ve all been hurt and we’ve all hurt people. I used to think that I could never hurt anyone. I know exactly who I’ve hurt and what I did to hurt them. Some I feel bad for, some I don’t. The ones I don’t-well, I’ve got my reasons. Not because of hate, I don’t hate anyone. I can’t physically hate someone. I know what it’s like to care for someone, but as time passes you stop caring. You stop feeling things you thought you felt. When you accept you don’t feel anything towards them, you’ve got to go. You’ve got to leave it behind. There is always strength in letting go and moving on. You have to find it in order to carry on. Time drags or you can let yourself go freely with it and do something.

“You’ve lost both that loving and that loathing feeling.
Turns out, hell does have a bottom.
And heaven, a ceiling.
Both love and hate become opaque in time’s wake.
A face that once summons rage now summons nothing.
Whether it’s emotions tethered, nerve endings severed,
Or just the outlook you acquire when you’re a little more weathered.”

The last verse is so powerful. So bloody powerful. It makes you feel so crippled and riddled with so much emotion that you don’t know what to do. There comes a point where you hit your lowest point, and you know that you are right there. You know that you cannot get any lower. You also know that there is a limit to your highs. There is a limit to all feelings. You can only feel so shit for so long. You can only be happy for so long. Feelings last, but they are not always consistent. You look at someone who used to make you angry, now you realise they’re not worthy of even your negative vibes. Even if you’ve sorted it all out or forgotten about them- they’re just not worth the hassle any more. Bad feelings aren’t worth it. You struggle to gain the good feelings in life, but that’s why it is important you treasure them and hold onto them.

“But is a lie really a lie if you mean it at the time?
How can a lie be a lie if you mean it?”

So true. So very,very true. We say things sometimes that we believe- but later on; we realise we don’t feel it anymore.

I’ll leave it there. I’m sorry for how long it is (doubt anyone read this silly thing anyway) but I’m not sorry for what I’ve said.

Be kind to others, and to yourself.