Most think my love for lyrics came from the likes of Morrissey and Bob Dylan. Yes, my mum played them around the house whilst I was growing up. But there was one person who made me fall in love with music and words on a completely different level. His words made me see the world in a way no artist or person ever has. I doubt they ever will.

I own all his albums and when my auntie and uncle came back from New York when they went for the first time many years ago, they brought me back some bootleg mixtapes of his. Tapes, not CDs.

The person is Tupac Amaru Shakur (or birth name Lesane Parish Crooks.) Today is the 15^th year anniversary of his untimely death. To some, they just dismissed his music and labelled him trouble, a thug. Those that took the time out to listen to his words, realised he was a poet. Thing is, he’s more than a poet.

A lot of his lyrics I can relate to, I know what you’re thinking. How could someone like me relate to his words? Easily, because I dug deep enough to see his music wasn’t about the same generic bullshit many accuse rap music to posses.

His words poured out so much emotion from love to hate to frustration to joy to abandonment to rage. Every emotion that was humanly possible to feel, he felt and he projected it so majestically in most of his work.

I’m drawn to people who are close to their family, especially their mum. I firmly believe that the relationship you have with your mum is the most sacred thing ever. She’s the only person who will love you no matter what, she will never judge. I guess this is why when I first heard Dear Mama by Tupac, it just meant so much. To hear him say all these things to his mum, I’d never heard it before. It showed that he was such a sensitive soul, regardless of how the media portrayed him- those who pay attention to his lyrics saw how wise, soulful, passionate and honest he was. It breaks my heart knowing he’s not here, I know it’s been 15 years- but you don’t forget. He died a year after my dad died; I remember seeing MTV News with the headline saying he had died like it was yesterday. Throughout the years I’ve bought all the books written about him, I’ve got VHS tapes of documentaries, his poetry book, albums and mixtapes. I don’t collect these things because it could be of worth one day. I collect them because it keeps his memory alive. He’s the only rapper to have truly had this affect on me. How his words affect me are different to different artists I love such as Morrissey and Lou Reed. See, they can paint pain in such an eloquent manner. Tupac didn’t, he wrote about it in the rawest sense.

The tragedy is, he envisioned his own death. When I hear certain songs, it makes you just want to reach out to him and say it doesn’t have to be this way. I guess some people are placed on this Earth to do certain things in a specific amount of time- like Angels walking the Earth and we only appreciate them when they are gone. It’s always the way.

I absolutely adore his song Runnin’ (Dying To Live) the chorus is so ridiculously fucking heartbreakingly brutal, “You know, I wonder if they’ll laugh when I am dead. Why am I fighting to live, if I’m just living to fight. Why am I trying to see, when there ain’t nothing insight. Why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try.” It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are from- you cannot deny you have never felt this way before. Maybe more times than you wish to admit to yourself, its okay; you’re not alone. The frustration in the chorus is so easy to relate to.

His lyrics were not all about degrading women at all. His music spoke up about social injustice, his own problems, racism- he touched on everything. He was one of the most intelligent rappers ever. He was inspired by the Black Panther Party to Niccolo Machiavelli- whose work influenced him to adapt the alter-ego Makaveli.

How many rappers can say that he influenced them? Hardly any. The album he released under this name, The 7 Day Theory is easily his darkest work, and possibly one of the darkest rap albums created. He had a way of describing the darkest of subjects that could break the hardest of hearts.

His debut album, 2Pacalypse Now is so politically charged- it was no surprised that the shitstain of life, Dan Quayle tried to get the album banned. Too honest for you? Can’t handle the truth? You cannot shut someone up, especially when they are someone like Tupac. 2Pacalypse now touched on so many topics from racism to police brutality to teen pregnancy.

The song Brenda’s Got A Baby was Tupac’s first debut single and was about a teenage pregnancy. The song as influenced by a 12 year old girl who got pregnant by her cousin- as she didn’t want her family to know, she threw the baby away. There’s a part in the song that just shows how Tupac could write a song about something so painful in a way that just leaves you in awe. “…she had it on the bathroom floor. And didn’t know so, she didn’t know, what to throw away and what to keep. She wrapped the baby up and threw him in the trash heap.” No one else has ever EVER written anything as hard-hitting as that. It wouldn’t seem right if anyone else did, they couldn’t make you imagine it as harshly as Tupac did.

I honestly could not pick my favourite track by Tupac, he had so many. From official releases to unfinished demos, he was probably the hardest working rapper ever. He said things most were afraid to say. He wasn’t afraid to speak up and say when something was wrong. That’s what I took from his work- to never be afraid. To never be afraid to be honest, to speak up when you see something wrong. If someone is going to hate me for being honest and being vocal about something that is wrong- then so be it. I’ll keep doing it. Tupac taught me so much. I hate how personal I get with my writing, but his music saved me throughout secondary school. From the day I started to the day I left- I was bullied. I constantly felt worthless and like shit, but his words provided so much comfort. His words made me feel like, things could get better. I wrote my first song when I was 13 (I just write- I can’t sing or play an instrument.) He channelled how he felt through writing- which is what I did. There’s a suitcase of old notebooks at my mum’s under my bed full of all my old notebooks with songs and poems I have written. I still write now. His way with words made me write my own stuff. There will never be another rapper like him, ever. He had this gift that made you want to know him and be around him.

15 years on, and it still doesn’t seem real. But we have his words and music. He created a legacy that will never fade away.

Thank you Tupac, for your words and music. R.I.P.