There is always one specific song you hold so close to you. There’s that one song you cling onto with all you have, even when you think everything and everyone has drained you of all you have and all you are. This one song is your absolute life-line. It is your crutch, it has saved your life. Without this song, you have no idea where you would be. Or maybe you do, but you don’t want to think about it. Because if you think about it….well, who knows. This song means the world to you, and more. It is part of you. Maybe it defines you. Whatever it does to you, nothing and no one else ever will.

For me, the song is Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths. I’ve never heard a song so bloody apt. It seems this song, is my constant crutch. And currently, well let’s just say it means more to me than it ever has done before.

Attempting to put into words what this song actually means to me is probably impossible. Ask any genuine fan of The Smiths or Morrissey (I mean the ones who know there is more to them than This Charming Man, First of the Gang to Die and How Soon Is Now) and they will have the one song by The Smiths or Morrissey that is their utter life line. Some may choose I Know It’s Over, which to me, is on a par with Please Please…”Oh Mother I can feel the soil falling over my head.” Have you ever heard a line so fragile? “It’s so easy to laugh, it’s so easy to hate. It takes strength to be gentle and kind.” Never a truer word spoken, When you feel so low, being kind and gentle is so exhausting. Being good to people who aren’t worth it takes so much from you. So, let them go. Always let them go.

Lyrics have always been a huge thing for me. When you read the lyrics to anything Morrissey has written, you can read it as poetry. He is quite possibly one of, if not the greatest songwriter of all time. What fucks me off a lot is when people dismiss him and just call him grumpy or a depressive twit. He did suffer from depression in his early years, that is obvious in some of his work. However, listen to songs such as Bigmouth Strikes Again and you will hear humour in his words. He’s so bloody intelligent and witty- if you overlook this, you lack intelligence. Harsh? Possibly,but still true.

“So for once in my life, let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the first time.” Anyone who cannot relate to these words is quite possibly a robot. However, I think the person with the coldest and hardest of hearts can really feel these words, this song. Everyone at some point in their life has felt, “Just give me a fucking break.” I feel it most days, probably far more than I should. I dislike how honest I’ve been writing this, but no one ever reads what I write so it’s okay. I’ve never seen this live. Seeing I Know It’s Over broke my heart in June and August this year. I just never thought I’d witness it, but I did. It’s something I hold so very dear to me.

Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want means more than the world to me. The sadness that comes out of Johnny Marr’s guitar is heartbreaking, the way Morrissey emphasises certain words just pierces your soul. It crushes and comforts you all at the same time. Listening to The Smiths and Morrissey can, at times, be like an emotional rollercoaster. With others, it’s never worth it- but it is with them. Always.

The below clip is one of the best things I have seen Morrissey do. He breaks down, which just makes the song that much more hard-hitting and personal. You feel it even more because you see him feel it. When his voice trembles a bit and he kneels on the ground, you just want to hug him and say, “I know….I know.” Watching this performance is highly emotional.

Everyone has a band that changed their life. A band that found them when every part of them as lost- The Smiths are my band. Morrissey’s lyrics made me feel less daft for being sensitive. At worst a coward, at best just unsure.