Nearly 10 years ago Garbage released their third album, beautifulgarbage. Many seem to have overlooked just how wonderful this album is. October 1^st sees the 10 year anniversary of its release, so I’m getting in early (or late…depends on how you look at it) to explain why and how this is a remarkable album that you need in your collection.

 

I was about 8 or 9 when I first heard of Garbage. I remember seeing them on MTV in 1995 and just being in awe of the sound and I instantly fell in love with Shirley Manson. Maybe she’s the reason why I’m gay, or maybe it’s because my mum used to play kd lang around the house- so many reasons, none of which need discussing.

Anyway.

Garbage are one of the few bands I have been a fan with from the start. I grew up with them. I like to think I learnt a lot from Shirley’s lyrics. Songs such as Medication, You Look So Fine, The Trick Is To Keep Breathing, Metal Heart- well they mean the world to me, and I’m not entirely sure if I could even begin to explain how so.

 

Beautifulgarbage opens with Shut Your Mouth. The way Shirley sings here is pretty much like always, “I’ll act like I don’t give a fuck, but I fucking do.” And I think a lot of us live that way, feel that way towards people and their actions. There’s always going to be someone in our lives that we like to act like they do not matter to us anymore, that their actions and words are meaningless- but deep down, it’s the opposite. The feeling fades in time, trust me.

 

The album is full of heartbreaking songs which I feel paint the picture of a horrific break up, I know the vast majority of break ups are horrific but some can be liberating. Either way, someone always gets hurt. Not every song is about a break up here, obviously. Androgyny, So Like A Rose, Parade to name a few aren’t.

Nobody Loves You ends with one of the most gorgeous lines to have ever fallen from Shirley’s mouth, “Coughing up feeling just for you, to find something real to hold on to. But there is a hole inside my heart, where waves of my love come tumbling out.” This is so painfully accurate. I suppose we have all had someone we try to cling onto, and any gaps within ourselves we just urge some kind of feeling- whether it be love or just the ability to care, to just come out. You put all you have into feeling that maybe, you just don’t feel.
“You say that all the good is gone, that I have forgotten who I am. Free as a bird, wild as the wind. But somehow I cannot let you in.” You see that this person cares for you, but no way and no how- you cannot let them in. I guess some people cannot be let in. It happens to us all, no matter how strong you are.

 

So Like A Rose is euphoric. The build up in these 6 minutes is beautiful and hurtful. There is something about the ending of the song which makes you feel like you are floating through air. “Sleeping with ghosts, it’s such a lonely experience. The stars are out tonight, only they can hear you breathing.” The only comfort you have are ghosts (if you believe in them) and the stars. That’s all you have, but hearing it in this song makes you feel less alone.

 

If there’s one song by Garbage that is going to break your heart, then it’ll be Cup Of Coffee. It opens with such such gut wrenching line, “You tell me you don’t love me over a cup of coffee and I just have to look away.” This pretty much sets the tone for the whole song. Someone tells you it’s over, but the song isn’t about the break up, it’s about what you feel afterwards. The emptiness that this person has left you to feel, all alone. You walk the streets that you know they will walk on, you walk past their home- but you keep going because it hurts too much to stand and look.

“So no of course we can’t be friends, not while I still feel like this. I guess I always knew the score. This is where our story ends.”Then the person wants you to still be friends even though they’ve metaphorically ripped you apart. Friendship? No thanks love, move on. You always knew it would end, because most things do.

 

The album is full of insecurities and the like, which is probably why I hold this album so very close to me. Drive You Home projects these insecurities extremely well. “I got down on myself, working too hard. Driving myself to death, trying to beat out the faults in my head. What a mess I’ve made. Sure we all make mistakes. But they see me so large that they think I’m immune to the pain.” You work so hard and put as much of yourself you can into being better and to stop fucking up, but the truth is- you will fuck up. You’re human, it’s what you do. Yet, people perceive you to be someone who doesn’t feel the pain of mistakes, but you feel it. You feel it more than most. You just know how to hide. “I never said I was perfect, but I can drive you home.” You know you’re not perfect, but who is? But you know that you can make the one you love/care for feel safe, even if you are carrying a shitload of insecurities around with you.

 

The album is gloriously heartbreaking and you need it. It’s as important as Garbage, Version 2.0 and Bleed Like Me. I’ll never understand why beautifulgarbage was always overlooked. Maybe it’s not as raw as the first two albums, but to the true Garbage fan- it’s everything they want. Any album or single, any piece of music they get from Garbage is a blessing. Garbage are like The Smiths- to love them, you love them for life. You don’t just like the one song. You love everything they do. You love the B-Sides such as Trip My Wire and Soldier Through This. Everything they do is important to you. Their lyrics provide comfort on good and bad days. You’d be lost without this band. That’s what makes me love Garbage. They can say how I feel and think, because sometimes I don’t know how to, and that- that is what makes a band like Garbage standout from others. Everyone has a band like this, which means the universe to them.